Conceptual Journey

by Michael Shapiro 

What is taken for granted?

What goes quicker than we thought?

What can be wasted the most?

What is something that is sought?

When younger can seem quite slow 

When older moves way too fast

Never have enough of it

For time isn't made to last

Perhaps taking a time out

Noticing the stars and moon

All the beauty in nature

Lovely scents of spring's first bloom

Spend more time with family

Tell your spouse how much you care

Be present with your children

Enjoy all the love you share

Why put off 'til tomorrow?

As there are no guarantees

Live each day to the fullest

Much joy in each day to seize

Michael Shapiro has been writing for two and a half years following the passing of his wife on December 14, 2020. He writes mainly poetry and has been part of the Philadelphia Writers Workshop for the past two-plus years. He has also self-published a book of poems (One Pen Two Hands One Heart One Soul) on Amazon. His biggest joy is writing as he feels his wife writes with him and they become one through the words.

Gratitude for life itself - by Jen Perry

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? My life ~ literally. I lost a shocking number of relatives at the beginning of March at the start of this pandemic. It was shocking and scary and felt terrible to not be together in our grief. I've found a renewed sense of purpose and vitality in planning all the things I want to do once it is safe to do so ~ in many ways it shook me out of a lot of the overwhelm and bogged-down-ness of middle adulthood.

 

What did you take for granted this year? I think I took time for granted ~ my relationship with time was really strange this year. When the pandemic started I really thought it would be over in a matter of weeks ~ which turned into months as we all know .... some days stretched on forever and then suddenly I can't believe so many months have gone by and I haven't seen people I love. I think I'm more aware of my middle-agedness and that I don't have unlimited time to do all the things I want to do.

 

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world?  Absolutely all of us matter. We never realize how much we mean to each other. Life is a lot of fun and an adventure ~ I can't wait to get back out in the world. 

 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during this time? I started art journaling.

 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? I found joy in the moments with my kids that required extra thought ~ to make their birthdays special in an unusual way, playing more board games than social outings, digging in and really being more present to each other. 

 

What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you? I really, really, really miss hugs. Life is too short to put off joy.

 

Reflections on 2020 by Jeff Katowitz

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why?  Connecting with my family. My health. 

 
What did you take for granted this year? The simple things. 
 

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world?  Not taking for granted the importance of my health. Recognizing my ability to make a difference – by providing support to others in the midst of prolonged national and global chaos. 
 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during this time? Landscaping and gardening. 

 
Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? Reconnecting with the simple things. 

 
What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you? Taking care of my body, mind and spirit and feeling appreciative of what I have. 

Connection during COVID - by Kim Vargas

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? I am truly the most grateful for my family. I’m not sure how I could have gotten through this past year without them. Having young children provided both a distraction and an opportunity to focus on what feels most important. While the world felt totally out of control at times, and there were many feelings of helplessness with respect to that, I felt grateful to be able to focus on connecting with people that I really love. 

 

What did you take for granted this year? I’m sure there were many things that I did take for granted, but I’m not entirely sure what they were. I tried very hard to be aware and intentional about knowing how exceptional even the mundane things were this year. I was aware that none of us could take our health, our families, or our livelihood for granted in the ways that we might normally.  

 

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world? I was surprised at how little I missed certain parts of my normal existence. While I despised the reason that we had to slow down so much, I also observed in myself some relief at not having to engage in many of the ways we are normally called upon to engage. 

 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during this time? I remembered how much I love doing jigsaw puzzles, reading, and playing board games. 

 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? I reconnected on a regular basis with my college roommates, which is something I haven’t done in about 20 years. We started a group text chain with 7 of us, and I was reminded what a witty, loving, smart, warm group of people this is. I feel so lucky to have them in my life, especially on a more regular basis. 

 

What is the most important thing that they year of COVID 19 has taught you? I know this sounds trite, but it has really reminded me of what is important in my life. I haven’t spent time with my parents in over a year, and I am reminded how incredible they are, and how much I miss them every single day. It has taught me a lot about what is important, and where to focus my energy, versus what is not important but takes up a lot of my brain space. I’m hopeful that even after this crisis passes, I will be able to hold on to some of that knowledge! 

 

Self-Compassion and gratitude during 2020 - by Elizabeth Campbell

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? The health of my family and the ability to work from home/continue working....because of my wonderful mother-in-law providing childcare. 

 

What did you take for granted this year?  Health, housing, food security. 

 

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world? When overwhelmed, I am not connected with the values that I want to be connected to.  

 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during the months of lockdown? I walked and ran outside more. 

 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? Slowing down! 

 

What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you? Gratitude for the small things, the importance of family time, and compassion for myself and everyone else. We are all in it together! 

 

Wishes for a peaceful and picture­-imperfect holiday

by Jen Perry

Ahhh, the holidays and its food, family, and friends. A beautifully laid out table, happy children, civil and perhaps even engaging conversation. We all have a perfect Hallmark­worthy picture of it floating around inside our mind. Can you conjure up yours? I know I have one: my great aunt’s lovely antique china, candlelight, gracious conversation about all that we are thankful for. 

The challenge with our idealized images is that reality often just can’t live up to them. Our human minds make it truly impossible. Whether gleaned from hazy memories of yesteryear or from yearnings in our hearts for just how it could be, these are fantasies. You see, if we have ideas about the perfect day or perfect dinner (or perfect partner, or perfect parent, child, job, or . . . really the applications are endless), then our minds act like a scanner constantly searching the situation for things that need to be fixed, done, changed, or otherwise wrestled into the idealized image. It’s exhausting. Out of the myriad of details before us, it takes just one to “ruin it.” One child’s temper tantrum, one sharp word from a loved one, one burnt pie ~ you get the picture. And THAT is actually where the freedom lies. 

Try this: take your most precious, perfect picture and allow life to happen to it. You may find the results difficult or you may find them hilarious. In my case, that antique table I mentioned? Well, it literally collapsed mid-meal this Thanksgiving with no warning. 

The carefully prepared meal, well maintained china, flowers and candlelight, glasses of wine and cider, and all the silverware came crashing to the floor. A child howling, guests staring in disbelief, and one alert responder racing around as if the torn photo could be repaired. 

2015 is now a year for the history books in my family. Fortunately, we can laugh about this one. 

One of my favorite sayings is: “Peace: It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” I encourage you to take your picture perfect image and your idealism and let life, or gravity, have its way with it. Holding onto our perfectionism, scanning life, real life, for all the ways in which it doesn’t measure up, is not a peaceful or present way to live. These perfect pictures we hold up – of a holiday, a spouse, the future, a child, even our very selves – they block us from seeing the real moments and people before us as they are in all their imperfect splendor. The relief after the surprise of it all falling apart is pure, pure magic. And a gift: the gift of a broken table, a broken picture of perfection is a gift of presence and peace with what is. 

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC is a licensed professional counselor and peaceful parenting coach. She teaches mindfulness and self­-compassion to people wanting more peace and calm in their hearts. Her next 6 week class offering, Beginner’s Mindfulness, starts January 11, 2016. Space is limited to 6 so reserve your spot today by calling 215­-292­-5056 or emailing jenperry7@mac.com.

Thrive this Holiday Season

by Elizabeth Campbell, MS, LPC

The holidays are a great way to celebrate gratitude and spirituality and to connect with loved ones.  They are also a time that can be emotionally difficult and stressful.  There are many things that contribute to the difficulty of this season and also many ways to support yourself and thrive this holiday season.

The winter season is a time to slow down and turn inward.  The holidays in our culture ask us to do the opposite.  People tend to overbook themselves, stay up late, and engage in unhealthy habits.  We can decrease our stress during this holiday season by maintaining a schedule that honors what our body and emotions need.  It is also important to maintain healthy habits and practices that maintain grounding.

Because the holiday season is a time when we focus on friends and family, this time can be difficult for individuals that are isolated, in conflictual relationships, or have experienced a loss.  Feelings of isolation can be exacerbated by the push to constantly connect during this season.  There are times when silence and time alone are beneficial to an individual.  This can also exacerbate depression or grief.  It is up to the individual to determine what best serves them during this time of year.  Generally, a balance is ideal.  This can be difficult if those we are “supposed” to connect with this time of year can be difficult to be around.  Prioritize connection with individuals that build you up and leave you feeling positive and nourished.  And when planning to spend time with individuals that drain your energy, visualize boundaries or protection surrounding you prior to connecting to support your resilience.  It is also important to maintain healthy boundaries within interactions with individuals that trigger you.  Individuals that have experienced loss often experience intense feelings during the holiday season. For those that are going through a recent divorce, breakup, or transition within the family, this also applies.  Lives in transition can be especially difficult during the holiday season because of the focus on traditions.    It is important to maintain traditions that you choose, without trying to keep everything the same.  Another significant practice is to honor your loss.  This can be especially important if you have lost a loved one.  This can be done with a candle, doing something that person loved, or partaking in a tradition that they enjoyed. 

A final way that the holidays can be difficult is when we set our expectations very high.  Every family and life has “stuff.”  Few people survive a holiday without a kitchen conundrum, drunken relative, or spat between loved ones.  Often individuals imagine a picture perfect holiday, which may heighten disappointment when life is closer to normal.  Setting realistic expectations based on history may help to decrease stress in the upcoming holiday celebrations. 

Holidays can be stressful for a myriad of reasons.  The most important tool in setting yourself up for a healthy holiday season is awareness of the aforementioned things that exacerbate stress.  To enjoy yourself this time of year, prepare yourself and honor what you need.  Happy Holidays!

Elizabeth Campbell is a licensed professional counselor providing an empowerment and strength-based approach to support individuals in personal growth and change. She specializes in play therapy with children, family therapy, creative counseling for adolescents, and trauma-informed treatment. She utilizes an integrative, mindful approach to address the whole individual and promote healing and wellness.   For more information or to schedule a session, please call Elizabeth at 610-757-8163 or email at elizabethannecampbell8@gmail.com