Moving Through a Debris Field of Feelings

by Brittiney George, BS, MST, ICI, CEIM 

We are all in the middle of a tornado right now.  A pressure front full of conflicting ideas, information, and feelings—lots and lots of feelings.  

Some are picking up pieces of broken foundations; others shattered ideals. For many Hope caught on fire, and dreams may have become heavy and waterlogged.  We each are fighting to ensure that our most precious possessions (to which I might offer include Hope, Joy, Peace, and Curiosity), don’t get torn apart by the rushing rivers of Grief, Fear, Discord, Discomfort, and Worry.

It is a rare moment of time where no home has been left untouched by these storms.  When defenses are low and exhaustion is high, it is easy to lose our grip.  We can quickly get pulled from our own inner knowing into the debris field of feelings surrounding us.  

Times like this encourage us to run or numb from our feelings.  I’d offer a different approach: embrace your feelings.  Not all the feelings that are in the air around you, or on the ground beneath you are yours, so detangling yours from the debris field is important for respite in the storm.

A simple exercise I developed for myself, that many of my clients have also found helpful is name and claiming your emotions.  It is an invitation to detangle from the emotional debris outside and get a clearer sense of how to move with what your feeling on the inside.  Try it out:  

Name, Claim, and Move Emotional Exploration:

1. Start by naming every emotion you feel:  List them like bullet points.  
2. Use I feel vs. I am: listing the emotions as a feeling (I feel angry, sad, elated, relieved…vs. I am angry, I am sad), keeps it as a feeling and not a declaration or judgement of who you are as a person.
3. Name the emotion without the story:  When you don’t get swept away by the story around the emotion (the who, why, how), but instead take a moment to simply name the emotion it is easier to disentangle them.  
4. Move With or Let Move:  The body can feel multiple feelings simultaneously, but not every feeling will be asking for the same movement.  Ex. how anger wants you to move may be very different than grief.  When we are trying to move with all of them at the same time we can get stuck, frozen, or anxious because no move feels “right”.  When you name them, each emotion is validated.  For some feelings that is enough for them to move through on their own.  Then you can pick one to spend time with (maybe it is the loudest, the quietest, or the one that takes up the most space).  
5. Ask that emotion:
• what it wants
• what it needs
• and knowing both and everything else your navigating, what is the movement that is available. (This is where the body is a superstar.  There is always a move available, but it is not always the one we think.  Listening to one emotion at a time, helps that to be clearer).  

The more you practice, the easier it becomes to move with strong emotions, hear the quiet emotions asking to be nourished, and to clear the debris field so movement and connection once again feels possible.

Brittiney George, BS, MST, ICI, CEIM, is a Master Somatic Therapist, Trainer and Movement Practitioner specializing in Transformative Touch.  She is also the creator of the online comic www.thisweekwithjoy.com.  Her areas of specialty include working with highly sensitive persons (HSP’s), and helping people find movement when they feel stuck in life’s transitions.  Contact Brittiney at 610-389-7866 or movebackintolife@gmail.com.  

The Hope of Renewal

by Elizabeth Campbell, MS, LPC, RPT-S

        “And in the spring, I shed my skin, and it blows away with the changing winds”.  

        — Florence + The Machine

        “The wound is the place the light enters you.”  — Rumi

I may be one of the few individuals that feels this way, but I love winter.  I love playing in the snow, hot tea, a warm fire, and hiking when the woods are empty, quiet, and crisp.  I love it so much that I felt a bit grumpy when the weather started to warm.  As a Highly Sensitive Person, change is challenging and I wasn’t ready yet.  Until the flowers bloomed.  

Every day I find myself amazed by the miracle of the world coming to life again.  I say this fully knowing how cheesy this sounds.  But gosh darn it if I am not smiling at a new flowering tree the next day.  

Part of my joy and appreciation for this rebirth of nature is the hope that it brings.  As I said before, I like the dark and cold of the winter.  The juxtaposition of a warm fire and twinkling holiday lights reminds me that light is present even in the darkest of times.  As a trauma therapist (and a human), I have seen so much darkness.  You can become acclimated to it, even expect it.  Something about this spring lit up the clarity inside me that as we hold space for and appreciate the darkness, we make room for all of the light to come in.  

I see this hope when I support people in EMDR therapy for trauma.  As they move into their pain, so often the other side is compassion, clarity, calm, or perspective.  It is a renewal of the spirit.  

As we move through this renewal and get closer to the fun, sun, and light of summer, I invite you to pause.  Perhaps there was a moment in your life in which a single bud or a glimmer of light started to shine in on your pain.  So often we don’t even notice that first blossom until the flowers are all around us.  Pausing in this first moment of transition may allow even greater gratitude for the full, lush growth and light of summer.  The fullness of opening to all of the light and the joy.

Elizabeth Campbell is a Licensed Profession Counselor, Registered Play Therapist Supervisor, and EMDR Consultant in Training who provides empowerment and strength-based support to individuals in personal growth and change.  She specializes in play therapy with children, supporting Highly Sensitivity, and IFS-informed EMDR for all ages. She provides supervision and consultation for licensure as well as EMDR and play therapy certification.   If you would like to connect with Elizabeth, reach out at elizabeth@elizabethcampbellcounseling.com or 610-757-8163 or learn more at www.elizabethcampbellcounseling.com

Coaxing My Worst Dance Partner Down the Stairs and Out the Door

by Rachel Kobin

 

Late at night, after another day of moving so little my whole body hurt and topping it off with a snack I knew would upset my stomach, I did what many of us do in this situation—I searched Google for “Self-sabotage.” On my most recent foray, I came across the article “30 Types of Self-Sabotage (and What to Do About It)” by Alice Boyes, Ph.D. The article included a quiz to determine which types of self-sabotage challenge you the most. At first, I was dubious about taking it because most quizzes leave me feeling worse. This one helped me determine what to focus on and made me feel hopeful rather than overwhelmed. 

 

Despite how positive I felt after taking the quiz, I missed other articles I had read that went into more depth and took a more compassionate approach. I found one I can recommend: “The Fascinating Reason We Sabotage Ourselves and Hold Ourselves Back.” The author, Debra Mittle, explains how procrastination and self-sabotage are survival mechanisms we can learn from to bring more joy into our lives. The author convinced me to invite my “worst” dance partner inside rather than showing her the door. 

 

After all of that reading, I brought my awareness to my approach to solving my self-sabotage problems. I concluded Google is great, but it’s not the same as having a good talk with a friend. Then I remembered I had neglected to get back to a girlfriend who wanted to have lunch with me. This is another thing I do—I feel lonely and then realize I haven’t reached out to anyone. I’m not sure where I saw this self-help tip or if I made it up, but I think I need to make an appealing little drawing or collage that shows all the people in my life who make up my community. And I will not call that procrastination because there’s nothing more important to my physical and mental health than nurturing the relationships I have.

 

Rachel Kobin is the Founder and Director of the Philadelphia Writers’ Workshop and has facilitated creative writing workshops and provided editing and coaching services since 2011. Read her most recently published poetry, fiction, and creative nonfiction in the anthology, Through the Looking Glass: Reflections on Madness and Chaos Within.

 

Gratitude for life itself - by Jen Perry

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? My life ~ literally. I lost a shocking number of relatives at the beginning of March at the start of this pandemic. It was shocking and scary and felt terrible to not be together in our grief. I've found a renewed sense of purpose and vitality in planning all the things I want to do once it is safe to do so ~ in many ways it shook me out of a lot of the overwhelm and bogged-down-ness of middle adulthood.

 

What did you take for granted this year? I think I took time for granted ~ my relationship with time was really strange this year. When the pandemic started I really thought it would be over in a matter of weeks ~ which turned into months as we all know .... some days stretched on forever and then suddenly I can't believe so many months have gone by and I haven't seen people I love. I think I'm more aware of my middle-agedness and that I don't have unlimited time to do all the things I want to do.

 

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world?  Absolutely all of us matter. We never realize how much we mean to each other. Life is a lot of fun and an adventure ~ I can't wait to get back out in the world. 

 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during this time? I started art journaling.

 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? I found joy in the moments with my kids that required extra thought ~ to make their birthdays special in an unusual way, playing more board games than social outings, digging in and really being more present to each other. 

 

What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you? I really, really, really miss hugs. Life is too short to put off joy.

 

Unexpected joys during 2020 - by Brittiney George

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? Laughter, space, and real connection. The things that were the shoulds held so much less weight. It felt like an opportunity to really question and choose where and what you put your energy into. 

What did you take for granted this year? How hard this has been for others that don't have the resources and support available to them.   

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world? How strong joy and hope live within my body and that when things feel like they are falling apart, it is the beacon that I can share with the world. I can be present with pain because I respect it and know the other side of it so viscerally. 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during the months of lockdown? Puzzling and wonder/wander walking-not to burn calories or to get somewhere but for the pure joy of noticing the world around me. 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? Looking up.  The wonders of trees, leaves, the sound of birds, meteors, and stars.  I found out my house is between the big dipper and Orion’s belt. How have I lived here for 10 years and never noticed that? 

What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you? When you go barreling through life you miss so many magical moments and that we have one job in this world, to take care of the hearts of those we are with. We don't have to get it right, but we do have to take care. 

 

Creative Self-Expression and Community

by Elizabeth Venart

 

Living during the time of COVID19 is living in an age of uncertainty and grief. Grief for lives lost and also grief for all the big and small losses. The milestones – like birthdays, weddings, graduations, and anniversaries – that we could not celebrate in our usual ways. The annual vacations and parties that just didn’t happen. A myriad of feelings may arise: boredom at the lack of variety, sadness about the loss of normalcy, loneliness, anger, and fear about the future.

 

Artists have long given voice to the challenges faced. But one need not be a bonafide “artist” to benefit from expressing ourselves through creativity. Creative self-expression is our birthright. Young children sing, color, mold playdoh, create rhythms on drums, dance. Expressing ourselves through writing, art-making, music, dance, photography and more provides a meaningful outlet for our emotions and a way to process our experience and give voice to that which we may not know how to say aloud.

 

If you have a regular practice of writing, singing, playing an instrument, or expressing yourself through art, you may have been drawn to create more over the past five months. If you don’t already have a creative practice, get curious about what naturally appeals to you. Maybe you enjoyed painting when you were younger but fell away from it when you started working. Perhaps you have dreamed of writing down the stories of your life – or creating an entirely new universe for a science fiction novel. Maybe you love snapping pictures with your phone already – and think it could be fun to join a group of other photographers to embark on an odyssey of shared learning and adventure.

 

When we come together in community to create, we often connect deeply. The very process of self-expression – and the vulnerability it takes to share our work – can create an atmosphere of intimacy as we recognize the sacredness of shared experience and the universality of our concerns. Local and national groups and interactive programs are listed below. Live online classes in which we have the opportunity to connect with other participants may be the most rewarding choice to help stave off feelings of isolation emblematic of current times.

 

One of the creative practices sustaining me through the pandemic is writing. In April, I discovered the Isolation Journals. They are the brainchild of Suleika Jaouad who believes that “life’s interruptions are invitations to deepen our creative practice.” Collaborating with artists of all disciplines, she responded to the pandemic by creating a journey through 100 days of writing prompts. Readers were encouraged to share their writing in a dedicated Facebook group, and the results were inspiring. The project now has over 100,000 members spread across 100 countries. Her website includes all 100 prompts, featured writing by members, and an invitation to join the community and receive weekly journal prompts for your own wirting. Suleika describes the project as “our living archive of human creativity”, highlighting the project as a place where “stories of vulnerability become stories of resilience and strength that unite us as a community.” It is said that to be a great writer, you must write whatever you most fear writing. Taking risks to be real – and share our rawness with others  – strengthens our capacity to face fears, find our voice, and go deeper still.

 

Creative writing need not be lengthy to be satisfying. Gotham Writers had a “silver linings” contest for the best 19-word story about a silver lining during COVID 19. It is challenging to write a story with only 19 words, but I certainly had fun trying. I shared the contest with friends and family. Not only was the process of writing our “silver lining” stories fun, it gave us an opportunity to connect beyond the routine “how are you?”

 

We are living through a remarkable time in history, and it is unmistakably hard. Listen to yourself and give voice to what lies within. As Bill Moyers said, “Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.” May your discoveries delight and surprise you – and foster deepening courage and connection to navigate the days ahead.

 

Elizabeth Venart, LPC, NCC, is the Founder of the Resiliency Center and a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in working with Highly Sensitive Persons, artists, entrepreneurs, and other therapists. With advanced training in EMDR Therapy and IFS, she supports people in getting to the root of the places where they feel stuck, so they can experience greater joy. A Certified Laughter Yoga teacher, Elizabeth leads weekly zoom laughter classes  and infuses laughter into her work and her life. Learn more by visiting her website.

Don’t Hesitate ~ by Mary Oliver

If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate.

Give in to it.

There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be.
We are not wise, and not very often kind.
And much can never be redeemed.
Still, life has some possibility left.
Perhaps this is its way of fighting back,
that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world.
It could be anything,
but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins.
Anyway, that’s often the case.
Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty.
Joy is not made to be a crumb.

Source: Structure and Style Website

Thoughts on Transitions

by Karen Steinbrecher

I was recently inspired by Bill Douglas, Founder of World TaiChi QiGong Day, who shared the following: "When those unfamiliar with TaiChi or QiGong begin a class, they think that they can learn how to do the slow, liquid, flowing movements by physically mimicking them."

But those of us who actually perform these liquid dreamlike flowing QiGong movements after much practice...know that it is not just a physical journey, it was, is a journey of the heart, mind and body....learning how to "let go" of our mental, emotional and then eventually our physical grip on ourselves and the world.

Then we find along the way, that people find us easier to get along with because our rough edges have been EXHALED and RELEASED over hours, months, years and perhaps decades of mind-body exploration and practice.

This is my short-version story, experience of QiGong after 20 yrs. of practice, continuous learning about myself and connecting, healing with others - you.  QiGong is a tool, a bridge to EFFORTLESSLY flow through life, its TRANSITIONS, many many experiences. Let the Qi flow with Joy and Good Health.  

Karen Steinbrecher leads QiGong at the Resiliency Center on Tuesdays at 2:30 pm and Thursdays at 6:20 pm. Cost is $10.00 for a one-hour class. Learn more and pre-register by contacting Karen at karensteinbrecher@msn.com

5 Tips to Make the Holidays Light

by Rachel Kobin

1. Keep the conversation light.
Right now websites like Reddit.com are compiling lists of good things. Give yourself and everyone else a break from politics. Need a fun distraction? Google "babies laughing" and share the delight by showing the videos to others.

2. Eating ​light.
You are in control of what goes into your body. You don't have to explain or justify eating or not eating something. A warm, "No thank you" should suffice.  ​If it doesn't, it's not about you.

​

3. Light up someone's day.

A compliment is sure to brighten even the surliest person's day.

4. Take in the light.
If it's sunny, go outside.  Take a walk by yourself to clear your head, or invite friends or family.

5. Be the light.

Sing in the shower​, dance to your favorite music in the living room. Be as goofy and silly as you need to be to get to a joyful place.

JOY to the World

by Karen Steinbrecher

Upon reading this newsletter, the Thanksgiving Holidays have passed, and the December Holidays are fast approaching.  No doubt, we live during a challenging period of time.

I would like to share some inspiration with you from a book that reads like a novel, rather than a non-fiction “self-help” book.  Written with Douglas Abrams, by his holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu is “The Book of JOY”.  With chapters such as “Fear, Stress, and Anxiety," "Sadness and Grief", "The Hard Times Knit Us More Closely Together," "Passing through Difficulties", and "Laughter", this book reads like a breath of fresh air.

“What is this thing called joy, and how is it possible that it can evoke such a wide range of feelings?

The Archbishop and the Dalai Lama looked at each other, and the Archbishop gestured to the Dalai Lama.  “Yes, it is true. Joy is something different from happiness. When I use the word happiness, in a sense I mean satisfaction.”  The Archbishop later explained, “When we realize that we are all children of God, and of equal and intrinsic value, then we don’t have to feel better or worse than others. God uses each of us in our own way, and even if you are not the best one, you may be the one who is needed or the one who is there.” 

In the chapter on loneliness, the Dalai Lama said, “When someone is warmhearted, they are always completely relaxed. If you live with fear and consider yourself as something special, then automatically, emotionally, you are distanced from others.“   He continued saying, “When one is thinking about others with kindness and compassion, one is never lonely.  Openheartedness-warmheartedness is the antidote to loneliness.”  The research of social psychologists Zhong and Gabriel have found that when people are feeling lonely or socially rejected, they literally seek warmth, like sipping hot soup.

Warm your hearts, your soul, this season and indulge in the warmth of this extraordinary book.

You must wonder what all of this has to do with QiGong.  As a QiGong practitioner/teacher, I love the flow of QiGong movements.  Qi = the energy that animates all of life and Gong means the work of, the practice of the movements.  Life is challenging, and at times one has to work at letting go of the negative, whether it be physical or mental.  Flowing QiGong movements enable one to work, in a pleasurable way to find that peaceful place within.  Warm Blessings to ALL this Holiday Season with Peace, Love, Compassion, Kindness and JOY.  

Karen Steinbrecher leads QiGong classes at the Resiliency Center on Thursdays at 2:00 pm and 6:20 pm.

An Invitation to Joy

by Anjana Deshpande

Joy likes to nestle between contentment and acceptance. It waits in the corner of our mundane, everyday life, waiting to be invited. Unlike happiness, which demands pursuit, joy simply is. Why then, do we complain about a “lack” of joy in our lives? Why do we go in search of it, or say that “joy has left” our life? Chances are, joy hasn’t left us; we just forgot it was there.

This month, let us try some ways to consciously invite joy into our lives. Here are some steps to do that: 

1.     Create a Joy Map.

A joy map is fun to do! There are no rules, just some suggestions to make it satisfying and meaningful. Take a sheet of paper and draw a circle in the center of the sheet. Put the word “joy” in the circle and draw lines radiating from this circle. Each line will connect to another circle which contains the word, activity, person, event that brings you joy. Think about times when you were content, relaxed and really “in the moment”. Perhaps you were taking a walk, reading a book, or maybe even doing laundry! It does not matter. If it brought you joy and contentment, it goes on the map.

Next, think of things that you would like to do. Even if they don’t exist in your life right now. Just putting them on paper opens the door to the possibility of making them happen.You may choose to use different markers for different groups of activities. For example, if traveling brings you joy, use different colors for places that are nearby, and easily accessible and places that are far away and might need some planning to get to. 

You can even tear up pictures that ‘speak’ to you and place them on this map. This is actually a great “detective” exercise to get to know yourself better.  When you ponder over why you picked a particular picture, you are really investigating the deeper recesses of your mind that you normally don’t have time to go into.

So go ahead, create a “joy map”! This is different from a vision board which is more about goals and dreams. A joy map is about the things that are within your reach right now, and perhaps some which you may have to stretch a little to reach.

Learn more about mind mapping at http://www.studygs.net/mapping/buzanmap.htm

2.     A No Pressure Date: In her book “The Artist’s Way” Julia Cameron talks about taking yourself out on a date. The budget is about $5 (yes, you are a really cheap date). Where would you go? A dollar store? The mall? A museum? The park? Coffee?  I invite you to take joy out on a “no pressure, let’s just get to know each other date” and see what happens! This “date” can also be used as a reward for yourself. A way to acknowledge what you have done during the day or week or even month. So go ahead, celebrate yourself, and take yourself some place nice!

And Finally:

3.     Bring joy to someone else: If you have ever smiled back at someone enjoying themselves, if their joy was contagious and you shared in it, then this one is for you. How about sharing something you do well or enjoy doing with someone else?

On that note, wishing you a Joyful June from all of us at the Resiliency Center!

Anjana Deshpande, LCSW is a certified Journal and Poetry Therapist. She works with both clients and clinicians who wish to get acquainted with the transformative power of writing. She can be reached at anjanawrite@gmail.com

Finding Joy

by John Muraco

Where do you find JOY?  How do you experience joy?  Perhaps you are savoring it right now as we shift out of the darkness and biting frost of winter and into spring and warming temperatures.  Perhaps for you, joy comes when you smell your favorite food, or think of a place where you feel cherished, invigorated and freshly alive?  Whenever it appears, it is my hope for you that joy finds a place in your heart. 

It is beautiful to see people find great joy out of trying new things in life – stretching beyond their comfort zones and into a space that lends ground to the unknown.  Seeing unfamiliar faces, trying new modes of self-expression, and existing in time and space in a new and radical way.  I recently had the joyous opportunity to launch a drum circle event at The Resiliency Center that honored all things unknown.  For me, leading a ‘formal’ drum circle was new and radical; I was definitely stepping into uncharted territory.   My main intention was and will continue to be to create a safe space where people can be themselves, claim their power, and drum to their hearts' content. 

You might imagine that putting 20-some people in a room and guiding them to make music together out of a combination of drums, loud shakers, sticks, rattles, cowbells, and tamborines, that the outcome would result in a chaotic jumble of sounds.  This could not be farther from the truth!  We continue to see the magic that happens in the undercurrent of improvisational sound and music creation between people.  Casting smiles at one another from across the circle, people who may have been uneasy in the first 10 minutes, open up and add THEIR ENERGY to the sound experience like its nobody’s business!!  The research is outstanding on how drumming and sound-making can reduce the effects of depression, PTSD, anxiety and social pressures.  Please stay tuned as we begin unfolding more information on this – I very much look forward to integrating this and other unique sound-making methods into my practice and groups.  And please, come and join us to Drum to Your Heart’s Desire [Insert link to: http://www.meetup.com/resiliencygatherings/events/221985302/]

Generosity in the Season of Giving

by Elizabeth Venart

Generosity is a big part of the holiday season. Movies often highlight the theme with humor and poignancy. In A Christmas Carol, Scrooge is a curmudgeon who never cared for anyone but himself, yet, by the end of the film, he is transformed into an openhearted, generous, and kind man. Miracle on 34^th Street concludes with Macy’s Santa “Kris Kringle” delivering a desired new home to the cynical young girl, causing her to believe in magic after all.  It’s a Wonderful Life shows an entire community of people coming together to help save the beloved main character, a giving man who, in his desperation, had doubted the value of his own life.

Invitations to be generous in December are numerous. Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa are celebrations with distinctly different origins and traditions – yet all include the exchange of gifts. Toys for Tots collection sites are scattered along our commutes to and from work. Men dressed as Santa greet shoppers as they enter stores, ringing bells and asking for money for the Salvation Army. Adopt-a-Family programs like the one organized by the Kelly Ann Dolan Memorial Fund (http://www.kadmf.org/holidayprogram.cfm) invite us to buy clothes, presents, and other needed items for struggling families in our community. Nonprofit organizations count on people being willing to do a little more for others this time of year. And, consistently, we prove them right.

What prompts us to be more generous now?  Is it simply the season? Does the month of December (like the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future) have the power to make us a little softer, a little kinder, and a little more willing to give? Probably not. Perhaps, instead, we have within us a natural desire to be giving and, between Thanksgiving and the end of the year, we simply receive and answer more invitations to be generous.

Our natural generosity is evident in the outpouring of support that comes following any local, national, or international tragedy. It can also be seen in the behavior of young children, expressing joy as they help bake cookies, make presents, and share gifts with those they love. The drive to be kind is an intrinsic part of being human. While sometimes it may be thwarted or distorted by painful early experiences, the vast majority of us continue to be kind. Giving is natural, and being generous feels good.

This season, as you consider how you wish to express your generosity, you may want to reflect on the kind of giving – and receiving – that feels most joyful and satisfying to you. Consider being mindful and intentional with your giving, not simply from the perspective of “what would I like to give” but equally evaluating, “What are the ways I can be giving that will also be uplifting and nourishing for me?”

Giving mindfully doesn’t involve spending more than we have or overextending ourselves and ending up depleted or sick. Mindful generosity asks us to acknowledge giving and receiving as an exchange – and to be intentional with where and how we direct our energy. Often, the best gifts are gifts of time, thoughtfulness, and companionship. Consider baking a loaf of cranberry bread for a neighbor, making soup for a sick friend, extending an invitation to dinner, making a book of free babysitting coupons for a friend who is a single parent, or connecting by phone with a long-distance family member.

As you contemplate the many ways to be generous this year, consider also giving to someone very deserving: You. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Lower your expectations to “find the perfect gift” and consider instead carving out time for yourself to simply be. Take a walk in nature. Spend time with people who make you laugh. Sleep in. Go to bed early. Listen to your favorite music. Re-read a beloved book. Spend time enjoying the dark, sitting in candlelight and sipping a cup of hot tea.

The joy and magic of the holiday season comes into focus more clearly when we listen to and honor our own needs, cultivate a spirit of generosity with ourselves and others, and slow down to fully experience the present moment. Today and throughout the year ahead, I wish all of us true presence, mindful generosity, happiness, and deep, abiding peace.

Elizabeth Venart, M.Ed., LPC, is the Founder and Director of The Resiliency Center and a Licensed Professional Counselor who offers individual, couples, and group counseling. Her focus is on enhancing resiliency, cultivating compassion, and supporting people in healing through comprehensive, trauma-informed care. Elizabeth provides clinical supervision and EMDR consultation to therapists seeking to deepen their understanding of the complexity of human struggles and to respond in meaningful, effective ways.  To learn more, visit her website at www.elizabethvenart.com.