by Kathleen Krol, MSS, LCSW, RPT-S
Traditionally, December is a time of looking back at the
highlights of the past year, joining in varied holiday and spiritual
celebrations and waiting in anticipation of what the new year will bring. This
December, like most of 2020, will be different. For many, the lows may have
overshadowed the highs, holiday and spiritual gatherings may be smaller with
the absence of significant others, and individuals may be cautious and
apprehensive about what the new year brings, rather than hopeful. So how does
one let go of the negativity of 2020, shift energy to embrace the potential for
positive, and move forward into 2021 with hope?
Letting go does not necessarily mean forgetting. Instead, it
is about releasing the negative energy that can cling to us. Letting go is
acceptance of the things we did not have control of this past year: circumstances,
the world, others. Letting go is more about choosing how we respond and whether
we choose to hold tight to negative energy or release it and make space for new
energy. Letting go is a process and can have many paths.
The process of letting go and shifting your energy might
start with a check-in (both physically and mentally) when there are situations
or personal interactions which trigger a “hot spot.” A “hot spot” can be a
negative or uncomfortable emotion, thought or body sensation. If you have been
in survival mode this past year, you may not have had time to process your
frustration, anger, sadness, and other feelings. What would enable you to
experience your feelings?
Possibilities may include talking it out, journaling,
movement, music, art, expressing through writing poetry or a song. Once you
have allowed yourself to experience and express the emotion, then you are more
open to letting go of any remaining negative energy. Ritual can be another
symbolic way of letting go and moving forward. Writing down what you want to
let go of and then releasing it through burning it or ripping it up are two
ways. Another idea is to write words or situations on stones and toss them into
a creek or river. Name the situation, take a deep breath and as you blow out,
toss the stone saying, “I release this” or “I let go of this”.
Letting go and transforming the energy from negative to more
positive can be through shifting your focus from one of defeat to one of
empowerment. Look back at the past year and notice your personal strengths,
supports and resources and the strategies that helped you to cope. Acknowledge
you made it through your own perseverance and endurance and that you may be stronger
than you think. Invite yourself to recognize that this inner strength – and
those external resources – will be there for future challenges as well.
Moving forward into the new year, you may invite yourself to
take each day as it comes. First, be kind to yourself. This past year has taken
a lot of emotional and mental energy. Give yourself time for personal
reflection and self-care this last month of the year and as we go forward into 2021.
Allow time for yourself to replenish your energy, nurturing and caring for
yourself first. Rather than create
New Year resolutions in which you may try to compensate for unfinished tasks of
the past year, consider aiming for smaller, more doable goals. You might try a
daily challenge – such as substituting one healthy snack (like fruit) for a
“pandemic comfort food” (like cookies) – rather than setting a loftier goal of
losing all the weight you gained during 2020. Maybe you can aim to walk 15 minutes
every other day or schedule a long walk weekly, rather than criticizing
yourself when you don’t exercise daily. Starting with smaller, more easily
achievable goals will give you a boost of confidence, and these small successes
are likely to build on themselves.
Last, you may want to try replacing apprehension about the
future with a sense of curiosity to what the day and year will bring. Aim to be
curious as you go about your day, using your senses to bring you into a more
full appreciation of things you might normally take for granted. This may
include noticing, smelling, feeling, tasting, or touching something new and
really experiencing it in the here-and-now. Simple pleasures like the taste of
a crisp apple, the warmth of the sun through the window, and the sound of birds
chirping can bring delight when we bring our full attention and curiosity. Try
to find one new thing each day to truly savor.
In little ways, you can be conscious and intentional in letting
go, shifting your energy, deepening your focus, and discovering hope as you
finish out this year and prepare for the next. Depending on the intensity of
your individual circumstances, you may find you are still holding unto
something that is challenging to let go of by yourself. If that is the case, be
kind to yourself and seek support with friends, family, or a professional. Some
burdens are too heavy to carry alone, and you may not be able to let go until
you are fully witnessed by someone else. We are here to help.
Kathleen Krol is a
Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Registered Play Therapist who works with individuals,
children, teens, and families using a family focused and integrative approach
to treatment. Areas of expertise include trauma, anxiety, depression,
grief/loss, life transitions and adoption and attachment issues. She
specializes in EMDR with all ages, Play Therapy, Family Therapy, Sand Tray and
Sand Focusing Therapy and Parent Coaching. If you would like to learn more, go
to www.kathleenkrol.com or contact her at kasiakrol17@verizon.net or
215-289-3101#1.
