Thursday, February 11, 2021

The Role of Ritual

by Lisa Grant-Feeley, MS, LPC

 

As time appears to be paused and everyday feels like Blursday, it is becoming more and more difficult for us to give structure and meaning to our days, weeks, and months. As we spend increasingly more time with our families and less time out in the world, the routines and rituals of coming and going that signaled the start and finish of activities throughout the day have faded. The act of leaving and rejoining family or our pets or commuting to and from our work provided structure and created a rhythm to our day. Before the pandemic, getting up in the morning meant the start of a specific day with specific things to do and included interacting with others in a real “in person, in the same room, within reach” sort of way that we didn’t even know we could miss. 

 

All of these things naturally created rituals throughout our lives. We might not have thoughts of them as rituals, necessarily, but they were. Stopping for coffee and chatting with our favorite barista (or others who are waiting for their coffee), is a ritual that signals the start of the day and provides connection. Going into your workplace and working beside co-workers is a ritual that provides community and purpose. Coming home from work, greeting your family, and changing into comfortable clothes is a ritual that signals the end of the work day and provides safety and belonging. Making a big breakfast and sitting with family on the weekend is a ritual that signals it’s time to slow down, rest and enjoy being together. As Erika Keswin explains in her book, Rituals Road Maps, rituals ground us and provide a psychological sense of safety through connection, purpose and belonging.

 

By getting in touch with your most essential values, you can create rituals that can provide a higher level of meaning in various aspects of your day. For example, if you value nature, you can create a ritual of bundling up at the start or end of the workday, stepping outside for five minutes to look at the sky, and taking a few deep breaths as you listen for birds singing. If you value nourishing time alone, you can create a 20-minute bathing ritual at the end of the day - lighting a candle, playing some spa music on your phone, and using a body wash that appeals to your sense of smell and touch. If work feels like it’s overwhelming, you can set an alarm at the top of every hour and do a 2-minute rest and rejuvenate ritual where you walk away from the computer and stretch, breathe, and drink some water infused with mint, lemon, or basil. 

 

The trick with rituals is to be fully absorbed in them, totally focused on the purpose and value. Instead of allowing your mind to stay on a stressful assignment while you attempt to rest and rejuvenate, ritual invites you to be fully aware, to commit to this time and really feel your breath, connect with your body as you stretch, and to taste the life-nourishing water you are providing your body. It is by being totally present in the moment that your ritual has the power to release stress and increase the feel-good hormones in your body and mind.

 

Two of my favorite daily rituals involve how I begin and end my day. I set an intention for the day either by taking a few deep breaths first thing in the morning when I wake up or as I sit quietly with my morning coffee. This intention is always value-based and preferably in touch with what I feel will be life-enhancing. The other is to end the day with gratitude for some thing or things that happened during the day for which I am grateful. Maybe it’s a conversation with a family member or friend, the walk I took, or the dinner I cooked and shared with my husband. 

 

I’ve included a link to some core values for work and life. Feel free to take a look, consider what you value and explore how you can create rituals for your days, weeks or months to add meaning and value-based structure to your life. Hopefully this will make the coming months, as we continue to navigate the effects of the pandemic, a bit easier to manage.

 

Lisa Grant-Feeley, MS, LPC works with children, teens and families

As time appears to be paused and everyday feels like Blursday, it is becoming more and more difficult for us to give structure and meaning to our days, weeks, and months. As we spend increasingly more time with our families and less time out in the world, the routines and rituals of coming and going that signaled the start and finish of activities throughout the day have faded. The act of leaving and rejoining family or our pets or commuting to and from our work provided structure and created a rhythm to our day. Before the pandemic, getting up in the morning meant the start of a specific day with specific things to do and included interacting with others in a real “in person, in the same room, within reach” sort of way that we didn’t even know we could miss. 

 

All of these things naturally created rituals throughout our lives. We might not have thoughts of them as rituals, necessarily, but they were. Stopping for coffee and chatting with our favorite barista (or others who are waiting for their coffee), is a ritual that signals the start of the day and provides connection. Going into your workplace and working beside co-workers is a ritual that provides community and purpose. Coming home from work, greeting your family, and changing into comfortable clothes is a ritual that signals the end of the work day and provides safety and belonging. Making a big breakfast and sitting with family on the weekend is a ritual that signals it’s time to slow down, rest and enjoy being together. As Erika Keswin explains in her book, Rituals Road Maps, rituals ground us and provide a psychological sense of safety through connection, purpose and belonging.

 

By getting in touch with your most essential values, you can create rituals that can provide a higher level of meaning in various aspects of your day. For example, if you value nature, you can create a ritual of bundling up at the start or end of the workday, stepping outside for five minutes to look at the sky, and taking a few deep breaths as you listen for birds singing. If you value nourishing time alone, you can create a 20-minute bathing ritual at the end of the day - lighting a candle, playing some spa music on your phone, and using a body wash that appeals to your sense of smell and touch. If work feels like it’s overwhelming, you can set an alarm at the top of every hour and do a 2-minute rest and rejuvenate ritual where you walk away from the computer and stretch, breathe, and drink some water infused with mint, lemon, or basil. 

 

The trick with rituals is to be fully absorbed in them, totally focused on the purpose and value. Instead of allowing your mind to stay on a stressful assignment while you attempt to rest and rejuvenate, ritual invites you to be fully aware, to commit to this time and really feel your breath, connect with your body as you stretch, and to taste the life-nourishing water you are providing your body. It is by being totally present in the moment that your ritual has the power to release stress and increase the feel-good hormones in your body and mind.

 

Two of my favorite daily rituals involve how I begin and end my day. I set an intention for the day either by taking a few deep breaths first thing in the morning when I wake up or as I sit quietly with my morning coffee. This intention is always value-based and preferably in touch with what I feel will be life-enhancing. The other is to end the day with gratitude for some thing or things that happened during the day for which I am grateful. Maybe it’s a conversation with a family member or friend, the walk I took, or the dinner I cooked and shared with my husband. 

 

I’ve included a link to some core values for work and life. Feel free to take a look, consider what you value and explore how you can create rituals for your days, weeks or months to add meaning and value-based structure to your life. Hopefully this will make the coming months, as we continue to navigate the effects of the pandemic, a bit easier to manage.

 

Lisa Grant-Feeley, MS, LPC works with individuals and with children and teens in the context of their families. She specializes in working with individuals with ADHD and related behaviors, including anxiety and depression.  She is dedicated to helping families work to create peace in their homes by working with all members of the family.  To connect with Lisa, please call 267-625-2565 or visit her website lisagrantfeeleytherapy.com.

 

.  She specializes in working with individuals with ADHD and related behaviors, including anxiety and depression.  She is dedicated to helping families work to create peace in their homes by working with all members of the family.  To connect with Lisa, please call 267-625-2565 or visit her website lisagrantfeeleytherapy.com.

 

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Living with peace during COVID - by Dean Solon

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? I am most grateful to have awakened each morning to be breathing, to be alive, and to hope and pray that all those who are near and dear to me are breathing, alive, today

 

What did you take for granted this year? Much of the time, I was taking nothing for granted during this past year.

 

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world? It is indeed a challenge to be peaceful and compassionate in the midst of chaos and commotion. 

 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time?  The great opportunity of being at the shore sometimes, and with the great joy of the ocean's vast presence. 

Monday, January 18, 2021

Spiritual fortitude in 2020 - by Tracey Smith

What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you?It has been a year of many lessons learned and still learning. The most important thing is to continue to strive for spiritual wellness and spiritual fortitude. I learned some new spiritual practices that helped sustain me day to day and moment by moment. Some days were extremely hard working through the traumas of events. Afraid if I started crying, I wouldn't stop. Fearful that I may have to choose between my health and my job. Compounded by the social unrest and not feeling safe as a black woman. While other days were joyful and grateful that my hour commute included seeing woods, streams, birds, flowers and horses. Joyful that I have an awesome life with no regrets. To summarize what Covid-19 has taught me, please see the poem below written by b.oakman:

 

I lied and said that I was busy.

I was busy;

but not in a way most people understand.

 

I was busy taking deeper breaths.

I was busy silencing irrational thoughts

I was busy calming a racing heart.

I was busy telling myself I am ok.

 

Sometimes, this is my busy- and I will not apologize for it.

Gratitude for life itself - by Jen Perry

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? My life ~ literally. I lost a shocking number of relatives at the beginning of March at the start of this pandemic. It was shocking and scary and felt terrible to not be together in our grief. I've found a renewed sense of purpose and vitality in planning all the things I want to do once it is safe to do so ~ in many ways it shook me out of a lot of the overwhelm and bogged-down-ness of middle adulthood.

 

What did you take for granted this year?I think I took time for granted ~ my relationship with time was really strange this year. When the pandemic started I really thought it would be over in a matter of weeks ~ which turned into months as we all know .... some days stretched on forever and then suddenly I can't believe so many months have gone by and I haven't seen people I love. I think I'm more aware of my middle-agedness and that I don't have unlimited time to do all the things I want to do.

 

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world?Absolutely all of us matter. We never realize how much we mean to each other. Life is a lot of fun and an adventure ~ I can't wait to get back out in the world. 

 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during this time? I started art journaling.

 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time?I found joy in the moments with my kids that required extra thought ~ to make their birthdays special in an unusual way, playing more board games than social outings, digging in and really being more present to each other. 

 

What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you?I really, really, really miss hugs. Life is too short to put off joy.

 

Blessings during these uncertain times - by Kathy Krol

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? That I persevered and came through all the challenges still feeling blessed in my life and even more grateful for what I have present in my life.


What did you take for granted this year? Challenges to preserving "Our Democracy" and following the constitution. I never expected in a civilized country like ours to see the turmoil and violence this past year. I am grateful for those who exercised their freedom of speech in peaceful demonstrations and protests.

 

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world? I like the comfort of familiarity of my daily life and when the world like my country seems in order. I am able to shift and adapt even though it is not easy at times. We are all needed and together contribute to the tapestry of this world.

 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during the months of lockdown? I have always enjoyed walking and nature watching, just had more time to slow down and enjoy it.

 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? More time at home to enjoy moments with nature, watching the birds and small animals. Feeling love and care of family and friends through a difficult health crisis.

 

What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you? The value of health and loved ones. To take each day as it comes, go with the flow when plans change, let go what we can't control.

 

Reflections on 2020 - from Rachel Kobin

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? I'm grateful everyone in my immediate family, including my elderly mom and boyfriend, and my friends are still alive.

What did you take for granted this year? Nothing.

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world? Having the ability to appreciate simple pleasures like a good cup of tea or a phone conversation with a friend who makes you laugh is an invaluable survival skill. 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during the months of lockdown? I started painting with acrylics just for fun. With my paramour's help, I did several nesting projects, including using a sewing machine for the first time to make curtains, something I've meant to do since I bought my house in 2005. 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? Teaching via Zoom has added my commute time back to my life. I've enjoyed having that time to simply be.

What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you? Life is fragile; take nothing for granted.

Sunday, January 17, 2021

Gratitude and Clarity during COVID - by Elizabeth Venart

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? I am grateful for my family and friends. I am grateful for by ability to continue doing meaningful work that I love. I am grateful for the beauty of the natural world that has sustained me through walks and time outside, looking at the sky and trees and flowers and birds. I am grateful for the wonderful community of practitioners at The Resiliency Center. Knowing we were in this together – as we transitioned to offering our services online and as we navigated this tumultuous year – has been a tremendous support.  

 

What did you take for granted this year?  I tried not to take anything for granted this year. I am filled with gratitude for my ability to buy food and have a safe place to live. I am grateful for my health and the health of everyone I love. I am grateful for every breath I take with ease. I watched with empathy as so many people struggled with the additional devastation of coronavirus – on top of poverty and multitude injustices faced daily. I awoke to the excruciating pain of racial injustice in a deeper and more profound way this year, and I became more committed to my role as an effective ally.  

 

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world? I see more clearly the privileges I have. I am more courageous to have deep conversations and to do the hard work necessary to educate myself in areas where my knowledge is lacking.  

 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during the months of lockdown? 

I love painting. I used to attend in-person painting workshops periodically, but I hadn’t in many years due to the time and expense involved in traveling. With COVID, the programs moved online. I have participated in three weekend programs so far and have found them deeply meaningful and restorative, a time to go inward and experience a painting retreat from the comfort of my home. These workshops also give me an opportunity to connect with people all over the continent, and I’ve found the community really supportive.  

 

I also attended live music events online. These included the playful and inspired variety show format of the Gluey Zoomy Show that two friends in New York City host, to daily morning kirtans praying for peace led by Devadas in Brooklyn, and enjoying livestream piano concerts from my talented musician friend Joe Ashlar in New Orleans. 

 

My passion for poetry was only strengthened during this time. I continue to lead the Rumi and Friends Spiritual Poetry Evening monthly – now online – and was thrilled that people from our area and as far away as California joined us. I also attended several online programs with Irish Poet David Whyte.  

 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? I really enjoy the changing of the seasons. Without traveling to faraway places to savor the spring and summer flowers, rivers and lakes, and vibrant autumn foliage, I delighted in my own backyard, thoroughly savoring the beauty discovered on daily walks in my neighborhood and nearby parks. Spending time by Zoom playing with the youngest members of my extended family was a true joy. We colored together, told stories, laughed, and played imaginary games. While I missed the time in person, we live at a distance, so virtual “playdates” allowed us to connect much more regularly. I treasured that time together.  

 

What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you? Everything can change in an instant, and you can find a way to adapt. The simple pleasures aren’t actually simple – They are the very stuff of life. Never underestimate the power of a hug or how truly beautiful it is to be in the physical presence of another human being. Sitting around an outside fire with friends is magical. Routines can foster resiliency – For me, this included daily walks, starting my day with chanting, weekly zoom calls with friends and family, weekly online gatherings with other practitioners at the center, and Friday night movies. Having regular activities to which I could look forward was important – and I didn’t need to leave home to participate.  

Reflections on 2020 by Jeff Katowitz

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why?  Connecting with my family. My health. 

 
What did you take for granted this year? The simple things. 
 

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world?  Not taking for granted the importance of my health. Recognizing my ability to make a difference – by providing support to others in the midst of prolonged national and global chaos. 
 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during this time? Landscaping and gardening. 

 
Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? Reconnecting with the simple things. 

 
What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you? Taking care of my body, mind and spirit and feeling appreciative of what I have. 

Connection during COVID - by Kim Vargas

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? I am truly the most grateful for my family. I’m not sure how I could have gotten through this past year without them. Having young children provided both a distraction and an opportunity to focus on what feels most important. While the world felt totally out of control at times, and there were many feelings of helplessness with respect to that, I felt grateful to be able to focus on connecting with people that I really love. 

 

What did you take for granted this year? I’m sure there were many things that I did take for granted, but I’m not entirely sure what they were. I tried very hard to be aware and intentional about knowing how exceptional even the mundane things were this year. I was aware that none of us could take our health, our families, or our livelihood for granted in the ways that we might normally. 

 

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world? I was surprised at how little I missed certain parts of my normal existence. While I despised the reason that we had to slow down so much, I also observed in myself some relief at not having to engage in many of the ways we are normally called upon to engage. 

 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during this time? I remembered how much I love doing jigsaw puzzles, reading, and playing board games. 

 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? I reconnected on a regular basis with my college roommates, which is something I haven’t done in about 20 years. We started a group text chain with 7 of us, and I was reminded what a witty, loving, smart, warm group of people this is. I feel so lucky to have them in my life, especially on a more regular basis. 

 

What is the most important thing that they year of COVID 19 has taught you? I know this sounds trite, but it has really reminded me of what is important in my life. I haven’t spent time with my parents in over a year, and I am reminded how incredible they are, and how much I miss them every single day. It has taught me a lot about what is important, and where to focus my energy, versus what is not important but takes up a lot of my brain space. I’m hopeful that even after this crisis passes, I will be able to hold on to some of that knowledge! 

 


Mindfulness in the year of COVID - by Lisa Grant-Feeley

During the past 30 years, I have been a woman, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a student, a teacher, a student again, and a therapist.  I don’t know if all, or at least most, women are like me, but I had a strong inclination to put everyone and everything else first. I love being all of those things listed above and I’ve enjoyed my life.  The thing is that I didn’t always take time for me! 

 

By living through this past year and the pandemic, I’ve learned: to make time for me and the parts of my life that are important to me.  I’ve learned to connect with my family and friends on a deeper level, even when it wasn’t easy to do so, to appreciate the value of sharing difficult feelings that were made less difficult simply by sharing them, to reach out and join with someone in this struggle, to offer and receive support and find strength.  I think I learned this because with the pandemic, we can’t take tomorrow for granted. 

 

I learned that slowing down and making time to be human with other humans fulfilled a fundamental need in me.  One that I had overlooked or gotten out of touch with because my life was full and busy.  Almost since I can remember, my pace had been so hectic that I would literally have to stop and catch my breath as if I had been jogging through my day!  

  

Now, I spend my time mindfully doing just one thing at a time, and feeling more at peace and I’ll also more alive as a result (and surprisingly, just as productive!).  I cherish moments of everyday joy, being grateful not only for the moment and the joy but also for the ability to cherish it. 

 

I’ve also learned that the feelings of sadness and pain are easier when those moments are accepted, honored and shared, not feared or ignored.  Because being human means that we feel both the joy and the pain. I’ve learned that I’ll take all of it: stronger connection with family and friends, struggling together instead of alone, slowing down and savoring each moment, even take the sadness and pain.  I’ve learned to be better at being human! 


Being adaptable in the year of COVID - by Trudy Gregson

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? I’m grateful that none of my immediate or extended family has contracted COVID, and to have had this extra time at home with my college-age sons who otherwise would have not lived at home. I’m grateful for the technology that has allowed me to see my clients from home and to stay in touch with friends and loved ones, and I am immensely grateful to all the doctors, nurses, and hospital staff, and all the essential frontline workers. 

 

The pandemic revealed to me how little I actually need. My world became smaller in many ways – working from home, no vacations, and in the winter, virtually no in-person get-togethers. While I miss it all very much, it turns out I can be pretty content “hunkering down” and amusing myself with home activities.  And yet in other ways, my world became larger – seeing far-flung family and friends more than I would have if not for zoom. Discovering hidden gems like new parks, hikes, a dog beach, and new towns that weren’t actually hidden, just unexplored because there was always so much else to do. 

 

I learned how adaptable I can be – I had never seen clients online before and had believed it would be inferior to in-person. In fact, it has been far better than expected and I am now open to how online will expand my ability to work with clients post-pandemic when there are obstacles to clients coming to an office.  

 

I have never been so closely attuned to the day-to-day changes in nature as I have during the pandemic. In Spring, noticing the daily changes to the blooming magnolia tree right outside my front door – the colors, the blossoming flowers as they gradually opened, and their scent up close. Noticing more than ever the changing angle of the sun as the seasons change, and seeking that last bit of afternoon sun on my front step on a cool day to catch some Vitamin D after a day spent inside.  

 

What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you? We can do hard things (borrowed from Glennon Doyle). People are incredibly adaptable, resilient, and creative, and I’ve been inspired by and grateful for so many people during this time. 


Art and connection during the pandemic - by Barbra Danin

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? I'm grateful that I don't have to face many of the challenges that others have had to deal with:  I have food security, I'm able to work, I live in a home I enjoy spending time in, I don't have to educate my child, and I have my health. 

 

What did you take for granted this year? I'm trying not to take anything for granted these days and hope that I'll continue to feel gratitude and awe well after the pandemic passes. 

 

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world? I realize how fragile my existence is, and how important it is to savor every moment.  I have learned to prioritize my relationships with friends and family in ways that weren't as clear before the lockdown. 

 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during the months of 

lockdown? For a long time, I have yearned to spend more time making art. Several years ago I showed a friend my beloved collection of antique dishes, and the next day they all fell out of the cupboard.  I saved the pieces in order to make a mosaic and found a cement birdbath.  I worked on it on and off for over 10 years and committed to finishing it when I moved to Philadelphia.  Still unsatisfied with the base, I became inspired to do a mosaic on that as well, and for the past 2 months I've been working on it whenever I have free time. 

 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? Connecting with friends and relatives on a more regular basis  (I even reconnected with a friend I knew growing up in the Philippines as a young child!).

 

What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you? 

I hope to never take the basic things in life for granted......the importance to me of friends, family, travel, being a part of the world, making each day count!! 


Slowing down during the year of COVID - by Carolyn Abele

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? I am sure this will change as I have time and space to reflect.  I am grateful for the time I have had with my family.  Like real time.  Before COVID,  I was waking up at 4:15am to get to my gym class then rushing to a really intense job running a school and then rushing back to pick up my kids.  My husband traveled constantly.  There was only quality time on the weekends, between errands.  I am beyond thankful for the slower pace, having my husband home and doing random fun things together.  I prided myself on how I managed it all, got it all done and didn’t need anyone’s help.  My life during COVID has been new, frustrating, exciting, boring, refreshing, adventurous – and a wake up call. 

 

What did you take for granted this year?  I took for granted all the things I thought I “should” have – easy access to food, ability to do what I want when I want to do it, paper products, education for my kids, and access to my family.  Losing these things initially felt like a loss of my freedom and peace of mind.  I took those things as given because I thought I was entitled to them.  

 

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world?  This really made me realize how privileged I am to not have to worry about “everyday things”.  Suddenly getting food felt like foraging for crumbs, and my kids education felt like a privilege and I feared that their futures were doomed.  I know now that things can slow down, and everything doesn’t have to be the way it was, or the way I want it to be. And it is OK.  Kids are resilient, and I have to model that. 

 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during the months of lockdown? Play.  Leisure.  I walked a lot.  I used to think walking was boring and I needed to be running and sweating.  The walks were great with my family, without anyone or with my dog (who is terrible at walking). 

 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? I honestly thought I was going to go crazy at home.  I like to be out and about and doing things.  I was able to slow down and learn that I didn’t have to have a schedule everyday of things to do and see.  

 

What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you? Uhh!  SO hard!  That I won’t win a prize for being the “I can do it all Mom”.  Be present, take it all in, and make time for the things I think are more important. 

Unexpected joys during 2020 - by Brittiney George

For what are you most grateful as you look back over the year and why? Laughter, space, and real connection.The things that were the shoulds held so much less weight. It felt like an opportunity to really question and choose where and what you put your energy into. 

What did you take for granted this year?How hard this has been for others that don't have the resources and support available to them.   

What did this reveal to you about yourself and your presence in the world? How strong joy and hope live within my body and that when things feel like they are falling apart, it is the beacon that I can share with the world.I can be present with pain because I respect it and know the other side of it so viscerally. 

What new hobby or old pastime did you take up or revive during the months of lockdown? Puzzling and wonder/wander walking-not to burn calories or to get somewhere but for the pure joy of noticing the world around me. 

Was there an unexpected joy that you experienced during this time? Looking up. The wonders of trees, leaves, the sound of birds, meteors, and stars. I found out my house is between the big dipper and Orion’s belt. How have I lived here for 10 years and never noticed that? 

What is the most important thing that the year of Covid 19 has taught you? When you go barreling through life you miss so many magical moments and that we have one job in this world, to take care of the hearts of those we are with. We don't have to get it right, but we do have to take care.