In Awakening Joy (2012), Baraz and
Alexander describe ten steps to happiness, based on ancient teachings and
current research in psychology, science, and habit change. Their Awakening Joy program offers a compelling overview of resources and practices to create greater joy - and release those habits and perspectives that no longer serve us.
Step One: Focus Our
Mind on Joy
When we focus on
achieving goals and gratifying our desires as pathways for joy, the
satisfaction rarely lasts very long – and we may find ourselves on an endless
quest for the next moment of pleasure or met objective. Because everything is
in a state of continual change, no experience or object can provide endless
happiness. Therefore, awakening joy is not about changing our lives but is
instead about training our mind to “live in a way that allows us to be truly
happy with our life as it is right now” (pp.6-7).
Step Two: Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a
gentle observance of things as they are.
Mindfulness invites us to pause, notice our ever-changing thoughts,
feelings, and body sensations, and bring curiosity to our interactions and experiences
of living. When we cultivate mindfulness, we become present for our life. “When
we are mindful, even the most ordinary experiences become wondrous” (p.35).
Step Three: Practice
Gratitude
Positive Psychology
and gratitude researchers have found that people who write down three to five
things per day that they are happy about and grateful for are 25% happier than
those who do not.
Step Four: Find Joy
in Difficult Times
Life is stressful,
and many things happen outside of our control. When we are facing challenges, we do not want to pretend we are happy or deny our pain. We are happier when we allow ourselves to be mindfully present with our feelings as they arise, practice gentleness with ourselves, keep a wider perspective, and learn strategies to “stop
the spin” of worry and fear.
Step Five: Act with
Kindness and Integrity
When we are on
autopilot, we may speak and act in ways we later regret. When we recognize that
all actions have consequences – and choose to act and speak consciously with
kindness and integrity, we can experience the “bliss of blamelessness” (p.121).
Choosing to act with integrity also includes being true to ourselves and making
choices that do not harm other or self.
Step Six: The Joy
of Letting Go
This can include
letting go of “stuff” we don’t need, beliefs we hold too tightly, our habit of
being busy, our expectations of ourselves and others, stories that limit us,
attachment to drama, and our need to be right. When we let go, we create space
for generosity, creativity, and a greater sense of well-being.
Step Seven: Loving
Ourselves
While we may easily
identify a few things we like about ourselves, fully accepting and embracing
ourselves as we are is often far more challenging. This practice may begin with
forgiving ourselves and opening to the love and appreciation others have for
us. It can also include taking good care of ourselves, practicing loving
self-talk, and learning to treat ourselves with the kindness we would bestow upon a beloved child or
pet.
Step Eight: Loving
Others
Sharing a loving
connection with others requires us to shift the focus off ourselves. Without a
self-focused agenda, we can remain curious and open, allowing the person before
us to be who they are and at ease in our presence. This step also includes
forgiveness. When we open our hearts and practice lovingkindness for all beings, we move towards greater joy.
Step Nine: Compassion
“At its core,
compassion is a recognition that we are all interconnected, that your suffering
is my suffering, that when I see you in pain, my heart trembles” (p.240).
Keeping our hearts open to the suffering of others takes courage, patience, and
practice. Mindfulness practices can greatly support us in staying present with
compassion, without shutting down, running away, or becoming overwhelmed.
Step Ten: The Joy
of Simply Being
As we learn to
deeply relax our body and mind, our natural capacity for well-being and
happiness emerges. The experience of being
may be described as resting in this moment, spacious, calm, restful, aware,
and light. There are many pathways to sink into this relaxed, effortless
presence. Some include connecting with nature and listening to the voice
inside.
