The Practice of Stillness in a Fast-Paced World

by Carolyn Abele, MS, LPC

The beginning of a new year is often a time to start anew. Something I have recently incorporated into my wellness routine is the meditation practice of Savasana.  Savasana in its most simple definition is called “corpse pose,” as it invites a deep stillness and the profound benefits of rest for the mind and body.  Before I dove into the practice of Savasana, I thought taking a long run was the most beneficial thing I could do for my mental health.  When I first heard about Savasana, I skeptically questioned, “How can laying on the floor have any real benefits?” 

The reported health benefits had me curious. Was I missing something? I decided to check it out. From the outside, it didn’t look like much. Savasana is physically basic — you lay on your back with your arms comfortably at your side. (Am I enticing you yet?) The tricky part is remaining completely still, allowing yourself to fully relax, focus on your breath, and release any tension or thoughts.  This is where the practice of Savasana becomes a true practice of noticing and then stopping the fast-paced living, endless to-do lists, and incessant chatter of narration. It is a practice of mindfulness, specifically learning to take a mindful rest. It shifts us away from a mental focus on figuring out our lives to an opportunity for body and mind to untangle and gently process the physical and mental work of the day.  It allows the nervous system to shift from a state of alertness to one of deep relaxation and restoration.

There are physical and mental benefits of the practice of Savasana, including: 

• Improved Mental Clarity: Helps declutter the mind, creates space for greater focus, clarity, and decision-making.
• Stress Reduction: Calming the nervous system reduces stress and promotes emotional balance
• Improved Sleep: Who doesn’t need this? When the quality of our sleep improves, we wake feeling rested. 
• Physical Recovery: Aids in muscle relaxation, promoting faster recovery after exercise, yoga, workout sessions, and other physical exertion.
• Improved Mind-Body Connection: Savasana promotes a deeper connection to the body and its signals.

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to overlook the importance of slowing down and resting.  But Savasana reminds us that real, true restoration comes from stillness and relaxation. So, the next time you feel like life is moving too fast and far too many things need to be done, resist the temptation to switch into a higher gear and do more. Instead, find a spot on the floor and try the magic of quiet rest. Take your time in Savasana and enjoy the peace it brings to your mind and body. While it may seem counter-intuitive, the deep rest offered will ultimate support you in conquering that to do list — or give you greater clarity about what you can just let go. 

Carolyn Abele, MS, LPC works with adolescents through adults, offering support to individuals struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, and self-esteem. She offers mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, EMDR Therapy, family therapy, and parent support around behavioral concerns. Her work integrates practical strategies, humor, mindfulness practices, and trauma-informed approaches to heal pain at the root of current patterns. To connect with Carolyn, please call 215-354-7941 or visit her website at carolynabeletherapy.com.

Winter Solstice — and a Candlelight Meditation for Peace

by Elizabeth Venart

Winter solstice, the shortest day of the year and first official day of winter, is on December 21st. This marks the gradual return of longer days, peaking with summer solstice on June 21st. Ancient Celts believed that the sun god, Lugh, left every winter and took the warmth with him. They practiced rituals at winter solstice to invite him back the sun, light, and warmth. These included building bonfires and placing candles in evergreen trees. Many of these rituals continue into the present. There is something cozy and magical about sitting near a crackling fireplace, being outdoors around a fire pit with a mug of hot chocolate, or cuddling under a blanket in the soft glow of candlelight. 

In Celtic Spirituality, the softer glow of sunrise, sunset, and candlelight are optimal times for quiet contemplation. We are invited to turn our gaze inward, pause from the busy pace of our lives, and simply reflect. The gentle glow of candlelight gives us an opportunity to slow down and invite forward the quieter parts of ourselves, parts that may get overshadowed in the noise of the everyday. Listening and attending to ourselves in this way can cultivate greater clarity and inner peace. 

During the darkness of the months ahead, you may want to experiment with creating space daily or weekly for meditative reflection. You may choose sunrise or sunset as a time of gentle light and contemplation. Watching the sun rise in the morning or set in the evening reminds us of our existence on planet earth, our presence in the natural world. Simply watch the light come, watch the light fade, notice the colors and details, the fading away of details to darkness. 

You could also practice a candlelight meditation. Simply light a candle or sit outside by a fire and gaze upon the flame. Focus on your breathing, and see if it becomes possible to slow your thinking and tune in more consciously to your five senses. Notice the candle or fire, any breeze or sounds if you are outside, the temperature of the air. As you inhale, feel the temperature and sensation of the air entering your nose, then the flow of exhale. Notice the rise and fall of your chest and belly as you breathe in and out. All the while, keep noticing the candlelight or fire. If thoughts arise, simply notice them and then return your focus to your breath and the gentle light. 

If you find it difficult to take this pause in your day, nagged by a sense of urgency for things you need to do, perhaps set a timer for five or ten minutes. Knowing you will only be sitting quietly for a short while often allows our thoughts to settle. 

Taking this pause to sit quietly in gentle light, breathing and being present, cultivates peace and a sense of inner spaciousness. From that place, it becomes possible to reflect on bigger questions, decisions, and next steps. So give yourself the gift of darkness, the gift of gentle light, the gift of self-compassion. When we nurture our inner light in this way, it grows — and that radiance, like the sun, brings more light to our world. 

Light in the Dark

by Olivia Ruffin

Being a light in dark places means embodying hope, resilience, and compassion in the face of adversity. It’s about bringing kindness, understanding, and action where they may seem absent, choosing to act as a beacon when the world feels heavy or uncertain.

In dark times—whether they’re personal struggles, community crises, or widespread societal challenges—being a light can look like standing up for others, even when it’s uncomfortable, or speaking truth to power in a way that inspires and uplifts. It can mean listening to those who feel unheard, offering support to those in need, or simply finding the strength to persevere when circumstances feel daunting. Light doesn’t always mean grand gestures; often, it’s the steady glow of consistency, compassion, and courage.

When we act as light in the darkness, we’re acknowledging that difficult times are part of the human experience but that hope and healing are always possible. In the words of poet Amanda Gorman, “There is always light if only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.” The choice to shine—whether through our words, actions, or even by holding space for those around us—empowers others to find their own light.

Ultimately, being the light in dark places is a powerful form of resistance. It’s a reminder that, despite hardship, people are inherently capable of making things better, one small action at a time. It’s about being willing to guide, to uplift, and to inspire hope, creating ripples of change that might brighten even the darkest corners.

In Service and Hope

by Vanessa Mortillo

“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”— Sarah Williams, Twilight Hours: A Legacy of Verse

As we enter the darker months of the year, I honor that this time of year, and this time in history, can be heavy for many. It is easy to feel gutted by grief and hopelessness. Yet during these times, I also notice that these feelings arise from a deep commitment and care for loved ones and our community. In the words of Marvel comic book hero, Vision, “What is grief, if not love persevering?” We can only feel loss when we know deep love. 

When I understand this, I feel a deeper call to service. I feel a pull to show caring to what I have not lost. So, in the words of Vice President Harris, “Let us fill the sky with the light of a brilliant, brilliant, billion of stars. The light of optimism, of faith, of truth, and service.”  May we hold tight to those we love, may we give ourselves to the greater good, and may we be unrelenting in our care and protection of others. May we fill up the dark sky with light. 

Staying Afloat Amidst Life’s Floods

 by Bernadette Dougherty, Psy.D

Storytelling has always been a large part of my life and family culture. I grew up an avid reader, rushing home from school to be immersed in a book until long past bedtime. 

Throughout my childhood and early adulthood, I was fortunate to spend a great deal of time with my grandparents every week. They often shared stories of their lives and journey with me, my father’s parents having grown up in war-torn Ukraine, living in labor and refugee camps across Europe. My mother’s family immigrated from Italy, and they were separated for decades before they were all able to come to the United States. 

As a child, my family’s stories fit well with the fairytales and fantasy books I read, tales of overcoming adversity and good eventually winning over evil. When I became older, I realized that these were not simply stories, but real and very painful events that occurred to the people I loved. This realization was the initial catalyst for my curiosity with risk and resilience: 

What allows some individuals to survive and even thrive in spite of painful events and trauma?

Recent world events and devastation by hurricanes throughout the southeastern United States brought this question into sharp focus again. Whether we are directly impacted by large-scale disasters or not, it is heartbreaking to see how lives can be turned upside down in an instant.  

None of us are strangers to pain and adversity. At times it can feel like wherever we look there are horrible events occurring in our lives and in the world more broadly, yet we’re expected to continue functioning through it all. In times such as these, it can feel like any additional stressor threatens to pull us under the flood of stress and emotions. In addition, our brains are naturally constructed to prioritize negative information over the positive, often making it exceedingly difficult to think of anything other than the stressful event we are experiencing. 

Moments such as these, when painful situations occur repeatedly and it’s difficult to keep my head above the emotional flood, I have found that the first part of one of the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills is particularly helpful in staying afloat: Accumulating Positives in any and every way we can. Through purposely directing our attention to things we find enjoyable, we strengthen neural connections for positivity, increase much needed dopamine in the brain, and decrease our vulnerability to emotional stress. Focusing even on small things like beauty in our environment, a song we enjoy, or a soothing sensation works; we essentially boost ourselves above the emotional flood. Stringing along these positives during transition moments — like car rides and minutes in between meetings — can be a small and time-friendly way to accumulate positives despite many of our busy schedules. Allowing small positives to be present along with the pain can help us to feel more balanced and less emotionally flooded. As we experience changes throughout our lives, I encourage you to set aside time and space throughout your day and week, no matter how much or little, to accumulate positives and stay afloat. 

Bernadette Dougherty, Psy.D. is a Licensed Psychologist providing therapy for teens and adults. Her approach is collaborative and individualized to help clients create meaningful change. Specialties include anxiety, depression, emotion regulation, trauma, suicide, self-injury, stress, chronic pain/illness, LGBTQIA+ care, and insomnia. To learn more about her work and to schedule an initial consultation, reach out to her at bernadette.dougherty.psyd@gmail.com and 215-770-1845. 

Finding Your Feet After Years of Holding It Together

by Brittiney George, BS, MST, ICI, CEIM 

The body likes balance.  It likes connection.  It needs safety.  

The body is meant to move.

It will hold, brace, bend, twist, compress, or overextend until it finds the alignment required to keep it as safe as possible in whatever environment it is in.  

So, what happens to a body when movement has been taken away or the rules around movement are changed?  This happened on a global scale during the pandemic.  Our legs literally got removed from our daily life.  We were in conversations from the waist up.  We were encouraged not to connect, to move to close, or to go too far.  We were asked to be vigilant, to be on the alert, but also to shut down and not panic.  It was a strange, mixed message of movement for a body, for every-body, and I am still seeing the lingering effects in my practice. Maybe some of these observations feel familiar to you?

Pre-covid Holding Patterns: Upper body locks-people shouldered a lot. They would come in with tight necks, backs and shoulders.  The request was often to help them get their legs and feet back underneath them so they could stop shouldering so much and move more freely in their life

Covid Holding Patterns: Lower body locks.  It was almost as if standing still and holding it all together became so common that the legs, feet, and joints became locked in a rigid position.  Not being able to step out in the world created legs that were less flexible and mobile.  Relational patterns in the world began to reflect these moves as people began to move with less tolerance, flexibility, and adaptability to others.  

Current Pattern:  Head trying to find the feet again.  As the legs have come back online and shoulders are re-negotiating holding and releasing, I'm seeing feet show up in ways I've never seen.  It is as if the head and the feet are trying to figure out if they can trust each other.  The head is asking the feet-can I trust you and what you feel?  And the feet seem to be asking the head, do you even know what I am doing done here?  I’m having to negotiate new ground everywhere I go.  

If you’re trying to find your footing again in new terrain, I offer the insights below as a transitional balm for your system.

• Power of Your Hands:  your hands tell the rest of the body what move you are making (holding on, reaching for, letting go) and the rest of our body aligns accordingly.
• Power of Your Feet:  your feet let the body know the foundation you are on (shaky, sinking, solid) and are masters at adapting accordingly.
• Power of Your Nervous System:  your nervous system knows where you’ve been and where you are now and is a powerhouse in safety attunement.
• Power of Your Head:  it knows history and story, but it also knows movement.  Let it be an ally to your body and to your heart.  Together they make a powerful trifecta.

Brittiney George, BS, MST, ICI, CEIM, is a Master Somatic Therapist and Movement Practitioner specializing in Transformative Touch.  She is also the creator of the online comic www.thisweekwithjoy.com.  Her areas of specialty include working with highly sensitive persons (HSP’s), and helping people find movement when they feel stuck in life’s transitions.  Contact Brittiney at 610-389-7866 or movebackintolife@gmail.com.  

Why Self-Compassion is More Important Than Self-Esteem

by Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC

In my work as a therapist, I find that people frequently come to therapy worried about self-esteem, either their own or that of their children or some other person they love dearly. Self-esteem is generally defined as confidence in one’s self-worth and abilities, as well as having a sense of value and self-respect. However, it is essential to remember that, as humans, we are verbs, not nouns. If valuing and respecting ourselves is the outcome we want, learning about and practicing self-compassion is the way to get there. 

One relevant pitfall I help people avoid is thinking of self-esteem as a fixed state, something you either have or don’t. Confidence and self-esteem are inherently unstable constructs. The truth is that any time we try something new, we will likely lack confidence, feel uncomfortable, and have a lot to learn. Having a growth mindset is so very helpful in these moments. A growth mindset allows for discomfort and stretching when we are growing and learning, which is part of the process of being human.

Self-compassion and a supportive mindset are far more helpful than this idea of “fixed” self-esteem when we find ourselves in new situations with an uncertain outcome.

Self-esteem tends to be viewed through a fixed mindset. This mindset doesn’t allow for growth or process. A fixed mindset purports that you either have the talent for something or you don’t.

Carol Dweck is a researcher who has examined the harmful effects of a fixed mindset. In a nutshell, people who identify with a fixed mindset in their talents seldom want to risk being in a situation that would challenge them or demonstrate they may not be as bright or talented as they think they are.  As a result, they don’t take risks to grow and develop as much as they could if they embrace a growth mindset. And if they do, they tend to blame others or conditions outside of themselves if things don’t go as well as hoped. They miss the opportunity to self-reflect. They miss the chance to grow.

Many people ask me if self-esteem is the root of all their problems. Their self-esteem is low or non-existent. If self-esteem were a tree, they would wish for a towering oak. They fear that they have a very sad sapling that has never had enough nourishment to thrive.

Let’s break down self-esteem. You’ll see why I think it is not only overrated but perhaps an inherently harmful construct that we would all be better off without. Then, I will discuss what may be more helpful.

Webster defines self-esteem as “confidence in one’s worth or abilities; self-respect.” In one aspect, it can be a global assessment of our skills and gifts and how we apply them. However, this is not the way humans typically experience self-esteem. Most humans I know experience situational, context-dependent self-esteem.

Instead of a global, broad-ranging, and honest look at ourselves, we experience how we feel in relation to our situations, the people we are with, and our experiences. In this light, self-esteem is an inherently unstable construct. Most of us gain confidence and belief in ourselves by doing. It’s common to feel situationally low self-esteem when experiencing something new or when our gifts and contributions are not recognized or valued. We are social creatures, and much of our “self-esteem” reflects how others see us, our performance, or our contributions at the moment.

So, I would like to propose that instead of being so fixated on where we are on the self-esteem meter – we focus instead on a more robust and stable construct rooted in a growth mindset: Self-Compassion.

Self-Compassion . . .

Self-compassion is a series of practices that nurture an attitude of kindness and support toward ourselves as we go through life's processes. Self-compassion is extending compassion to oneself in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering.

Kristin Neff is an associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin’s Department of Educational Psychology. She defines self-compassion as being composed of three main components:

• Mindfulness: Self-compassion requires a balanced approach to one’s negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. Negative thoughts and emotions are observed with openness so that they are held in mindful awareness. Mindfulness is a nonjudgmental, receptive mind state in which individuals observe their thoughts and feelings as they are without trying to suppress or deny them.
• Common humanity: Self-compassion also involves recognizing that suffering and personal failure is part of the shared human experience.
• Self-kindness: Self-compassion entails being warm towards oneself when encountering pain and personal shortcomings rather than ignoring them or hurting oneself with self-criticism.

If I continuously try new and creative things, I will repeatedly feel unsure and have “low self-esteem” feelings. What concerns me is how quickly we label children and evaluate their self-esteem. If self-esteem is going to be up and down throughout their lives situationally as they try new things, wouldn’t it be far more valuable to focus instead on Self-compassion? For a quick taste of what a Self-compassion practice might look like, check out my post here.

Do we want to risk our kids having a sense that we are worried about their self-esteem? Wouldn’t it be better to show them, and ourselves, how to meet ourselves with kindness, no matter where we are, who we are with, or what we are doing?

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for over 20 years. She specializes in helping highly sensitive people thrive in love, work, and parenting highly sensitive children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. She can be reached at jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com  or 215-292-5056. Learn more at www.heartfulnessconsulting.com.