Retreats: Pause, Connect, Create — and Get Inspired

by Elizabeth Venart

Summertime is for novelty. We spend more time outdoors, travel to new places, and do things that darker, colder times of the year don’t offer. Retreats and groups are similar. Retreats offer us an opportunity to take a break from our ordinary routine, immerse ourselves in a new practice (such as art-making, meditation, yoga, or writing), and connect more deeply with ourselves, others, and the natural world. Mary Oliver’s poems remind us that every moment in which we are fully present can be a retreat. Her poems inspired by walks in nature, she poignantly reminds us in her poem “Praying” that silence is “the doorway into thanks” and when we are present, we open so that “another voice may speak.” When we embark on retreat, we accept this invitation into mystery, the unknown that awaits when we go new places, try new things, meet new people, and immerse ourselves in new landscapes — or greet familiar landscapes with new eyes.

In my own life, retreats have supported me during moments of significant transition. A meditation and mindfulness retreat at Kripalu was instrumental in gifting me with the calm, confidence, and clarity to open the Resiliency Center sixteen years ago. During the pandemic, a series of weekend painting retreats (offered through Zoom) supported me in expressing the full texture and emotion of my experience. Mini-retreats in writing helped me find my voice and gain confidence to approach a publisher with my book idea. A Celtic Spirituality Retreat in Ireland connected me with my ancestry through stories, soulful chanting, and time spent outdoors in majestic, beautiful landscapes. All of these experiences required leaving my comfort zone in one way or another and awakened deep inner peace and aliveness. 

Similarly, groups invite us to venture beyond the comfort of one-on-one connection and expand our perspective by learning from others’ experiences. We discover ourselves when we look into the eyes of others, hear our stories in their voices, and find the echo of our own truth in their heartfelt sharing. As we share, the courage of our authenticity invites others to be real in return. When we play, create, meditate, write, and explore nature in groups, our group energy creates a container for growth that often transcends what we can do on our own. For example, meditating in a group often takes us deeper. We hold the silence together. When we go on a nature hike together, we see beauty and details we may have missed if not for the eyes of our companions. When we create together, we are inspired by others’ creativity and they, by ours. 

Throughout my thirty-three years as a counselor, I have led many groups, workshops, and retreats for children, teens, adults, healthcare professionals, and other therapists. Community is healing. I believe in the power of community to transform people’s lives, support their resilience, and build joy. This belief drove the creation of The Resiliency Center of Greater Philadelphia. 

I am excited to share that a number of practitioners at the center are offering groups, workshops, and retreats this summer and into the fall. Why not join us? Programs promise connection, creativity, play, and opportunities to learn and grow. Some are designed for children and others for adults, and all invite you to experience something new. Let’s play together. We hope to see you soon. 

Elizabeth Venart is the Founder and Director of The Resiliency Center. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Approved EMDR Consultant, and Approved IFS Consultant who specializes in supporting Highly Sensitive People, including other therapists. She offers individual counseling, IFS-Informed EMDR Healing Intensives, and clinical consultation for therapists. She has led a regional meeting for EMDR therapists in the Greater Philadelphia Area since 2011 and taught therapists IFS-Informed EMDR through the Syzygy Institute since 2022. Additionally, Elizabeth is a laughter yoga teacher and avid reader of poetry. In support of these loves, Elizabeth offers a free weekly laughter yoga class and a monthly Spiritual Poetry evening. Learn more at https://elizabethvenart.com/ or contact her at elizabethvenart@counselingsecure.com. 

Play as Preventative Care At Any Age

by Vanessa Mortillo, LPC

    “The opposite of play is not work—it’s depression.” — Brian Sutton Smith

As a play therapist, I support young people through anxieties and hardships. Using their natural language of play, we act out struggles and work through them in the present moment.  Play offers a unique way of processing difficult feelings in the presence of a connected adult.  What surprised me the most about my work is that even in the midst of darkness and trauma, joy can and does enter the play.  One minute I am defending myself in an angry play sword-fight and next moment I am bouncing a balloon. Through the magic of play, I can travel between levity and heaviness with my clients, and we weave more light in as we go. Children often do this naturally, but adults can do this too.
Relearning this skill through my training as a play therapist has changed my life as an adult. Once very serious and intellectual, I now have more balance. I have gained the confidence to be ridiculous, silly, and to let go. I make sand castles regularly, I dance and wear costumes. I am less afraid to play in front of others.  I laugh more and feel closer to those that I play with. In the midst of hard things, I remember that play is available at any moment. 

This phenomenon has been beautifully described by play expert Stuart Brown, “Those who play rarely become brittle in the face of stress or lose the healing capacity for humor.”  Dr. Brown became passionate about play when he studied mass murderers and found that most had been severely deprived of opportunities for play in early childhood and beyond. He calls this scenario a play deficit. While these represent the most extreme cases, his continued research on play found that playing regularly leads to more spontaneity, creativity, resilience, hope, and social connection for people of all ages. Dr. Brown also found this to be true in the animal kingdom as many social species play throughout the lifespan.

Kevin Carroll, Philadelphia native, former athletic coach for the 76ers, author and motivational speaker, cites his access to play as a child as transformational. In childhood, he had access to few resources and was adopted by grandparents due to his parents suffering from addiction. The playground and a red rubber ball changed his life. He has gone on to help organizations reignite creativity and inspire adults to play. At Tedx Harlem, he invited adults to formally resign from adulthood for a few moments.
“Here are my checkbook, my car keys, my credit card, my bills, my 401k statement. Because you know what? You’ll have to catch me first!  Because tag! You’re it!” I’d like to tag you into the magic of play by inviting you to join in.
 
Join us at the Resiliency Center for a workshop. From laughter yoga, movement, writing workshops, or our new Fun Therapy Happy Hour, we offer something for all types of players. Check out the helpful links and books below for a plethora of ideas of ways to play in every day life. 

Vanessa Mortillo MA, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor that provides individual and group therapy to youth and young adults. Utilizing mindfulness, expressive arts, and play therapy modalities, she harnesses creativity and imagination in the service of growth and healing. Specialties include children and teens, mindfulness groups, play therapy, and expressive arts. Contact her at (267) 507-5793 or vanessamortilloepcs@gmail.com.

Why play?

by Lisa Grant-Feeley, MS, LPC

As founder of the National Institute of Play, Stuart Brown, MD, compares play to oxygen.  That’s a strong comparison considering that none of us have gone without breathing in even the last minute, but how many of us can remember the last time we really played?  Not every minute, but daily or often. 

Brown considers play to be a “state of being” and “purposeless fun and pleasurable.”  It is a state of being because when we play, we engage our minds, bodies, and spirits. It is purposeless because there is no real goal or consequence. I’m fortunate to be able to remember playing outside as a child for hours on end; the excitement and anticipation of running out the door filled with a sense of freedom, anticipation and curiosity for whatever the next few hours would bring. I fully committed to whatever and wherever play brought me, whether it be creating a fantasy land for fairies, (whom I was sure existed), burying a box filled with treasures to be dug up when I was “all grown-up”, finding neighborhood kids to play hide and seek or kick ball, or just climbing trees and pretending I lived alone in the forest.  The possibilities were as endless as my imagination.

Besides the sheer enjoyment of play, numerous additional benefits exist. Play gives us the chance to connect to others and increases our sense of social wellbeing.  As Plato aptly said, “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.”  In addition, play that utilizes our brainpower helps to maintain cognitive function and increases creativity, productivity and cooperation at home and at work. Furthermore, adults who play and are playful demonstrate higher overall life satisfaction, as reported by numerous studies.  Play adds to our social, mental and emotional wellbeing. Play is powerful!

Keep in mind that there are many ways to play, and getting in touch with your preference could enhance your life in a meaningful way. Try being light-hearted or silly or doing something out of character like tickling your spouse, whatever brings delight.  It doesn’t matter how you play, but rather, that you do play.

As George Bernard Shaw wisely reminded us: “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

Lisa Grant-Feeley, MS, LPC works with children, teens and families as well as individuals.  She specializes in working with individuals with ADHD and related behaviors.  She is dedicated to helping families work to create peace in their homes by working with all members of the family.  To connect with Lisa, please call 267-625-2565 or visit her website lisagrantfeeleytherapy.com.

Ideas for Inviting Inspiration

by Elizabeth Venart

What prevents us from tuning into the muse of inspiration more? Are we perhaps lulled into complacency by our routines and the constant push to get things done and get from here to there and take care of this and that?  Are we too distracted by internal chatter – our shoulds and those we pick up from others – and the noise of social media and media in general? Inspiration can often strike in a moment, so it isn’t necessarily that we need more time but instead a certain quality of time. We may need to carve out space internally, to invite moments of reflection and the courage to ask the hard questions. Here are some ideas to invite inspiration:

1.     Pay attention to what intrigues you. What kinds of books, movies, biographies, television shows do you find most fascinating? Why? Is this perhaps a rope extended to you from the universe, beckoning you forward? A friend in her sixties recently signed up for a local improv class. She had never done anything like it but felt intrigued by the class when she saw an ad for it. She signed up before her reason or fear could talk her out of it, and now, four weeks in, she loves it!

2.     Pay attention to what excites you – especially your most outlandish dreams. If you won the Powerball tomorrow, what would be the first thing you would change about your life? The second? What new adventures or activities might you pursue? Where would you live? Where would you travel? What is stopping you from pursuing that dream now?  Look for signs to pull you forward into a new reality.  What steps can you take now?

3.     Cultivate a sense of whimsy and play. When was the last time you did something truly silly – for no reason at all? Think Monty Python’s Ministry of Silly Walks, cartoon voices, and fun-loving practical jokes. Seriousness can be heavy, and inspiration requires a certain mental spaciousness that play and laughter can create.  Read More [Insert link to: https://resiliency.blogspot.com/2018/10/ideas-for-inviting-inspiration.html]

4.     Be a beginner again. It’s easy to stay comfortable in all we know, but our life may be inviting us to step outside our comfort zone and try something new. Have you always wanted to play guitar? Learn to tango? Speak Italian? Experiencing what it is to be a beginner again may open the gates for inspiration to enter.

5.     Dare to dive into mystery. Watch a foreign film without the subtitles.  Take a road trip to a town an hour away where you’ve never been, just to explore. Open a book at random to see what sentences leap off the page for you.

6.     Experiment with new ways to expand your social circle. Other people’s perspectives widen our own. Familiar faces often mean familiar conversations. New people can bring new ideas and new insights. Consider volunteering, joining a group of people with shared interests on Meetup.com, or joining a team at a local sport and social club.

7.     Create an “inspiration routine”.  Kristi Hedges in Harvard Business Review suggests people pick a new activity and then create a structure to build it into their weekly, monthly, or yearly routine. Make your inspiration-seeking activities a part of your non-negotiable schedule: yearly writing retreats, a new museum every quarter, a different professional event every month, reading graphic novels every Thursday morning. Whatever calls to you – create a devoted space for it in your life. William Faulkner has been credited with saying, “I only write when inspiration strikes. Fortunately, it strikes every morning at nine.” Showing up and honoring our commitment to our inspiration routine opens the door for inspiration to enter.  

8.     Be curious. Elizabeth Gilbert believes that curiosity is the secret to creative living. She invites: “Do whatever brings you to life. . . Follow your own fascinations, obsessions, and compulsions. Trust them. Create whatever causes a revolution in your heart.” Following our curiosity can surprise and delight us.  

Elizabeth Venart is the Founder of The Resiliency Center. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified EMDR Therapist, and EMDRIA-Approved Consultant who specializes in providing counseling and mentorship to other therapists and working to empower Highly Sensitive Persons to heal the wounds of the past so that they can embrace their gifts more fully and experience greater joy. Learn more at www.elizabethvenart.com.

-->

Playfulness in Creativity and Problem-Solving

by Rachel Kobin 

Playfulness is a crucial part of what I do to help people tap into their creativity in the Philadelphia Writers Workshop. As children, we learn by playing. We aren't as focused on the results as we are on enjoying the process. As adults, we lose touch with this spirit of play, and this can make it harder to spark unbridled creativity. When we were four years old, did we sit down with our Play-Doh and think, "Now, let's make a sculpture so striking it will soon sit in a museum?" No, when we were kids, we enjoyed the feeling of having that dough in our hands, the color and the smell of it. We pushed it through a garlic press and to our delight it came out looking like miniature purple spaghetti (pasketti!). We showed our blobs of clay to our parents and told the stories behind them. We didn't compare ourselves to famous sculptors because we didn't know or care about who they were. We were too busy enjoying every moment of interacting with our clay to think about how our miraculous blobs might not compare to “Great Works of Art.”

Some writers come to my workshop with one purpose or a fixed idea of what kind of writer they are: One might want to write a personal essay and have it published in a prestigious magazine, while another might have family members who have said, "You should write a children's book in rhyme!" Focusing too much on a goal, especially if it didn't come from our own desires, can be paralyzing.

Throwing all expectations out the window helps us avoid this kind of trap, but it’s not easy to do on our own. Using exercises that seem silly like beginning our writing by pairing veggies with random verbs, help reacquaint us with the playfulness we knew and were often untaught throughout our formal education. Just last week in the Tuesday Night Workshop, we wrote stories about childhood without using the letter a. Activities like these trick our brains into liberating our creativity. By allowing ourselves to be silly, and not expecting our first efforts to even make any sense, we free ourselves to keep going, to get to the rough draft. Once we have our jumbled ideas down on paper in a rough draft, we can begin refining the writing to make it say what we originally intended.

I believe re-learning how to let go and have fun is a skill that can be applied to many situations, not only those in the arts. How often might we be missing a possible solution to a problem at work when we bypass the fun — the brainstorming, the drawing, the imagining? Stopping to play isn't a waste of time; it's a way of giving our brains time to juggle ideas around. Sometimes a masterpiece does emerge, and other times we just feel better, which, of all the worst case scenarios, is one we can simply enjoy. 

Rachel Kobin has been the Director of the Philadelphia Writers Workshop since 2010. Rachel uses the Amherst Artist & Writers Method to help writers of all levels claim or re-claim their unique voice. Through experimentation and play, writers of all genres and forms practice the elements of their craft in a supportive environment. Writers looking to develop new material and writers in the process of writing full-length manuscripts find the support they need to complete their projects. Learn more about workshops and private editing services at www.phillywriters.com. Contact Rachel at 610-449-3773 or Rachel@phillywriters.com.

-->

The vital importance of recreation and play

by Tracey A. Smith

When was the last time you participated in a leisure activity for the pure fun and enjoyment of it? When was the last time you felt the free spirit of creativity and play while engaging in a recreational activity?

Fun and enjoyment are very important aspects of recreation that increase a sense of wellbeing. Recreation is an activity of leisure, and leisure is defined as free, discretionary time away from work and obligations. In this fast-paced society, we may forego time for recreation and play. However, increasingly challenged by society's high levels of stress, we need the safe spaces and places found in an atmosphere of recreation.

Quite often we have perceived barriers to participation in leisure activities, such as unhealthy habits, lack of motivation, cost, and procrastination. At times, we may experience an attitude of guilt when having fun or doing a pleasurable activity. We may feel like we are being selfish taking time away from family and work responsibilities to enjoy ourselves. Or we may feel that leisure is a waste of time. However, research has consistently found that a balance of work and rest and play ultimately makes us more productive — not to mention happier.

It takes planning to overcome the internal barriers that prevent us from prioritizing play. We may need to pencil or type in time for fun on our schedules and calendars. The quote “All work and no play makes a very dull Jill or John,” also comes to mind when we consider our high investment in work and low investment in fun. When we have hobbies and interests outside our work lives, we can bring more energy, interest, and vitality to our lives and all of our relationships.

The options for how to spend our leisure time will be as diverse as we are. Some people may derive satisfaction from doing something meaningful such as volunteering with an environmental or political group, coaching little league, tutoring, or taking their dog to visit nursing homes. Others may make use of their skills for laughter and amusement, taking a comedy improv class or acting in community theater. Some people will enjoy solo leisure activities, such as writing, photography, Sudoku, or knitting; whereas others will want to seek opportunities for connection with others, whether by participating in sports and social clubs, singing in a chorus, or by organizing a team for trivia nights at local bars.

Individual values like beauty, truth, and equality impact our selection of enjoyable activities. There are many recreational activities from A to Z to fit each person’s needs, temperament and lifestyle. Recreational activities can include creative expression, relaxation, and physical movement. While it may be easy to keep with our “go to” activities, reluctant to take the risk of trying something new, often it is when we venture even a little bit outside our comfort zone that we make new connections, learn new things, and experience pleasant surprises that may even delight us.

“Get to Know Your Social/Leisure Self” Questionnaire

__ I enjoy engaging in activities individually.

__ I enjoy engaging in activities in a large group.

__ I enjoy engaging in activities in a small group.

__ I enjoy competitive activities.

__ I enjoy outdoor activities.

__ I enjoy extreme outdoor sports.

__ I have one or more hobbies I enjoy.

__ I enjoy artistic and/or cultural activities.

__ I enjoy crafting, creating, and/or building things.

__ I enjoy being part of a team.

__ I enjoy meeting new people.

__ I enjoy initiating a conversation.

__ I will spend money on cultural events or entertainment.

__ I enjoy individual or group computer games.

Here are two websites that can help you explore a variety of recreational activities, some discounted or free: List of Recreational Activities [Insert link to: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/list-of-different-recreational-activities.html and Philly Fun Guide [Insert link to:  https://phillyfunguide.com/]

Treat yourself today to a playful activity, be it for therapeutic purposes or just For the Fun of It!

Read complete article [Insert link to: http://resiliency.blogspot.com/2017/05/the-vital-importance-of-recreation-and.html]

Tracey A. Smith, M,Ed., CTRS, owner of Wellness W.R.K.S. LLC, is a Certified Recreational Therapist, Wellness Lifestyle Management Educator, and Trainer, who provides educational programs, workshops, trainings, conferences & retreats to companies, schools and community organizations to promote self-care and wellness. She specializes in Workplace Wellness and team building for remote employees. To learn more about Tracey and how you can bring her creative, experiential workshops and consultation to your agency or business, contact her at tracey@wellnesswrksllc.com or 215-605-3221 or visit her website at http://wellnesswrksllc.com.

-->

Playing with Qi Gong - by Karen Steinbrecher

Bring joy into your being.  Visualize your child within.

Bring joy into your heart as you practice Qigong.  Do this around children and watch the difference in the way that they respond to you.  Watch how differently they may react to one another in your presence.  Practicing and dancing the healing dance of Qigong works on adults as well.  It helps us let go of  stress, pain, worries.  It is so simple, amazing.  But you must practice.

Remember that as a child you played with the world around you?  You may have imitated a bird’s song, trying to fly like a bird up and up towards heaven and then gently (sometimes) landing on Earth.  When we practice Qigong, we connect with Heaven and Earth, Yang and Yin.  As a child did you chase a wave, toss stones, or did you run away from the wind, or did you race with it?   Let us bring it back, return to that feeling of freedom, that letting go, and connection to your being, you.  This is healing for all beingness.  As adults we often forget to include joy and play in our lives. Let us let go and be. That is part of the essence of this healing dance called Qigong.

Practicing Qigong with regularity can bring you in touch with the common sense that is your nature, a common sense that may become less common as the pace and pressures of life continue to increase.  How we feel and what we think has a powerful effect on our word as well as upon our ability to heal.  The ancient sages of China believed that thinking was a form of Qi.  Our thought and attitudes do influence not only our own bodies, but everyone and everything around us.  Qigong reminds us of this in a very tangible way because its slow, flowing movements and deep breathwork help us to return and get in touch with our connection to the world around us.  Qigong can be a tool, a strategy for freedom from our cage of isolation.

Qigong practice brings you into a relaxed state, the deep breathing oxygenates  your body. Qigong can motivate healing and inner transformation.  It cannot really be explained; it can only be experienced.

I invite you to play Qigong and breathe deeply.  Let us dance this beautiful exercise together. With each and every breath that you take, think of filling an empty glass.  The glass is empty, and as you breathe deeply you fill it from bottom to top with oxygen and Qi.  Then empty from top to bottom.  Gently move your diaphragm down, inhale and pull it up, then exhale.  Notice the feeling of the air, the Qi, moving in and out, your body and brain relaxing.  Practice this balanced breathing, this conscious breathing towards Healing and Peace and Alignment and Love.

Karen Steinbrecher practices, leads, and teaches QiGong at the Resiliency Center on Thursdays at 2:00 pm and 6:15 pm. The class fee is ten dollars for a 50-55 minute class.    RSVP in advance by contacting Karen at karensteinbrecher@msn.com