Ritual Practices for Meaning, Connection, and Support

by Lindsay Roznowski

“Ritual is able to hold the long discarded shards of our stories and make them whole again. It has the strength and elasticity to contain what we cannot contain on our own, what we cannot face in solitude.” — Frances Weller

• Pour the water from the filtered pitcher into the kettle and heat up the water. 
• While the water is heating, put the filter into the top of the pour-over flask.
• Pour the beans from the glass storage container and grind the beans.
• Pour the ground beans into the filter.
• When the water is fully heated, pour it slowly over the ground beans, stopping when the water gets to the top of the pour-over flask. 
• Wait until coffee drains down to the bottom of the flask and refill the top with water. 
• Continue until all water is used.

I am not a morning person. Since college (over two decades ago!) I have started my day the same way: with coffee. The methodology of my coffee preparation has changed over the years — from picking up a cafeteria brew on my way to class to this morning’s cup of pour-over — but the morning ritual has been consistent for over half of my life. What started as a habit to boost my energy has become a moving meditation to welcome the day. Each morning, you can find me in my kitchen, stepping over the threshold that bridges night and day, performing this personal, intentional, and ceremonial coffee ritual. 

You may not deem your morning coffee or tea preparation as a sacred ritual. Maybe you consider it more of a task, part of an obligatory morning routine. So what is a ritual and how is it different from a routine? Ritualists would say routine has a primary goal of achievement—aligning with the ideals of capitalism or, more generally, a culture of urgency and self-improvement. Routine places more importance on productivity than anything else. In contrast, a ritual  is done “for the purpose of personal gratification or spiritual enrichment”. When you start caring about how you do a routine, it can become transformed into a ritual. 

Rituals can tether you to something greater than yourself, like ancestors, and provide a sense of belonging to the bigger universe. They offer sacred space to honor and contain transitional periods in our lives. As Rebecca Lester wrote: “One of the most important features of rituals is that they do not only mark time; they create time. By defining beginnings and ends to developmental and social phases, rituals structure our social worlds and how we understand time, relationships, and change.”  When you engage in cultural or family rituals to acknowledge an event in the same way previous generations have, you are essentially using ritual as a way to hack into the universal unconscious. 

According to Etymonline.com, ritual’s etymological roots lie in the 1560s, ‘pertaining to or consisting of a rite or rites,’ from French ritual or directly from Latin ritualis" relating to (religious) rites," from ritus ‘religious observance or ceremony, custom, usage.’ Today, ritual can, of course, mean something religious, spiritual, or secular. Merriam Webster defines it as “the established form for a ceremony” or a “ritual observance, a ceremonial act or action, an act or series of acts regularly repeated in a set and precise manner”. In an integrative review of the psychology of ritual, authors define ritual as “predefined sequences characterized by rigidity, formality, and repetition that are embedded in a larger system of symbolism and meaning, but contain elements that lack direct instrumental purpose.” 

Whether religious or secular, ritual practice can animate our lives and lend meaning to people who engage in them. Rituals can include everything from reading last rites to celebrating rites of passage like high school graduation. Rituals take many forms. They may include lighting a candle at an altar or the cultural interaction of bowing or shaking hands when you first meet someone. Rituals can come in the form of prayer, meditation, or journaling. From personal rituals like morning coffee-making to culturally significant rites of passage like baptisms and quinceañeras, ritual practice can evoke positive emotion and have a profound impact. 

One research study from Harvard Business School demonstrated that rituals improved performance, from public speaking to first dates. Researchers concluded that “Simple, novel rituals reduce anxiety lower elevated heart rates, and improve performance—provided they are imbued with symbolic meaning.” In addition, many studies demonstrate that rituals can act like a scaffolding into the unknown, infusing our lives with a sense of peace and control. For example, after the death of a loved one, many mourners see personal or religious end-of-life and funeral rituals as a lighthouse guiding them through their grief.

Joseph Campbell describes ritual as “the enactment of a myth.” He writes, “By participating in the ritual, you are participating in the myth. And since myth is a projection of the depth and wisdom of the psyche, by participating in a ritual, participating in the myth, you are being as it were, but in accord with that wisdom, which is wisdom that is inherent within you anyhow. Your consciousness is being reminded of the wisdom of your own life.” The connectedness ritual provides—whether to ourselves, our family, our community, our spirituality, our culture, or our world—is of incredible value to our mental health and well-being. 

To explore your own ritual practices and their impact, consider the following questions:

• What rituals do you practice daily, weekly, monthly, annually? Which rites of passage come to mind?
• What are the origins of your different rituals? Do they come from your family, religion, values, or somewhere else?
• Which rituals have marked significant times in your life? Which rituals have helped you with endings, beginnings, or new chapters in your life?
• Which feelings do you associate with certain rituals? What kind of positive impact does each ritual have on your life? Have you adopted any rituals because you were seeking a certain positive impact on your life?
• How have rituals imbued your life with meaning? What is the most meaningful ritual you currently practice or have practiced?
• How do rituals support you in times of stress, hardship, grief, or overwhelm?

Lindsay Roznowski is a licensed professional counselor with over 20 years of experience. She is passionate about connecting authentically, collaborating on treatment goals so clients feel empowered, invested, and hopeful. She believes in a holistic, open-minded approach to healing and integrates knowledge of yoga, nature-inspired therapy, trauma-focused treatment, and eco-systemic family therapy. In the near future, she will be integrating EMDR and IFS therapies as well. She works with children ages 8+, tweens, adolescents, and adults. She will be offering nature-inspired workshops for children and adolescents this Spring, so reach out to her to learn more. She is also beginning a blog series soon called "Let's Try It”. In it, she will trying different wellness practices and services (think--acupuncture, cold plunge, meditation) and sharing what she learns. You can reach her at 215-326-9665 and lindsay@bloomwellnesscounseling.com.