Like a River

by Lindsay Roznowski, LPC

This past year, I read John O’Donohue’s poem “Fluent” for the first time, and it hit me right in the chest—simple, poignant, and beautiful. It goes like this:

I would love to live

Like a river flows,

Carried by the surprise

Of its own unfolding. 

These words spoke to me for a number of different reasons—the nature-inspired aspirations; the themes of fluidity, change, and personal growth; the release of control and the acceptance of what is; the focus on curiosity and surprise, and the wild loyalty to remain present in each sacred moment. The natural world has such gifts to offer.

With the beginning of 2026 upon us, I reflected on how this poem — and the image of the river — can be a reminder and guide for how I move through the next twelve months. Many of us have created goals or resolutions for the new year, informed by how we thought 2025 went. So how can I be more like a river? Adult life can get us tangled up — so many concerns take us out of the moment and into our heads. Whether it be work, paying bills, health issues, or navigating relationships, the mental gymnastics of trying to decode “what to do” can keep us in our heads, searching for some sense of control. In Brene Brown’s book, Atlas of the Heart, she posits that when we feel like things are uncertain or too much, we go to the following places in our heads: stress, overwhelm, anxiety, worry, avoidance, dread, and fear. Being in our heads excessively — and flooded with these intense emotions — can rob us of the present moment. When we allow these thoughts and fears to dominate our energy, our thoughts can become quite toxic and create disconnection with ourselves and our loved ones. 

Consider the image of a river. Even when leaves, branches, and debris drop into it, it doesn’t stagnate but instead continues to flow. It doesn’t wonder why the leaves are there or what to do with them. It continues to be a river, to flow, to move downhill, around bends, towards the ocean. 

So as we break out our new 2026 calendars, let’s ask ourselves: “How can I be more like a river?” Here are some additional thoughts for reflection as you begin the year: 

• How can I allow myself more flow?
• How can I use movement and breath to become more present in each moment?
• How can I more intentionally welcome the unexpected turns of life’s new moments?
• How can I embrace changes as a process of evolution and do the good work to get unstuck from old patterns? 
• How can I release some control and attachment to what I think my path should look like and embrace the beauty of what it actually is? 

Wishing you happiness, presence, and flow in 2026.

Lindsay Roznowski, LPC, specializes in supporting children, teens, and adults in navigating life stressors, finding ease from anxiety, and tapping into their strengths and innate resilience. She integrates mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, positive psychology, nature-informed therapy, and a yoga training background to co-create conditions for optimal healing and well-being. She offers walk-and-talk therapy sessions in the outdoors to those interested. Starting in Spring 2026, she’ll also be offering seasonal nature-inspired therapeutic workshops — so stay tuned! To learn more, see her website at bloomwellnesscounseling.com and contact her at lindsay@bloomwellnesscounseling.com or 215-326-9665. 

Ritual Practices for Meaning, Connection, and Support

by Lindsay Roznowski

“Ritual is able to hold the long discarded shards of our stories and make them whole again. It has the strength and elasticity to contain what we cannot contain on our own, what we cannot face in solitude.” — Frances Weller

• Pour the water from the filtered pitcher into the kettle and heat up the water. 
• While the water is heating, put the filter into the top of the pour-over flask.
• Pour the beans from the glass storage container and grind the beans.
• Pour the ground beans into the filter.
• When the water is fully heated, pour it slowly over the ground beans, stopping when the water gets to the top of the pour-over flask. 
• Wait until coffee drains down to the bottom of the flask and refill the top with water. 
• Continue until all water is used.

I am not a morning person. Since college (over two decades ago!) I have started my day the same way: with coffee. The methodology of my coffee preparation has changed over the years — from picking up a cafeteria brew on my way to class to this morning’s cup of pour-over — but the morning ritual has been consistent for over half of my life. What started as a habit to boost my energy has become a moving meditation to welcome the day. Each morning, you can find me in my kitchen, stepping over the threshold that bridges night and day, performing this personal, intentional, and ceremonial coffee ritual. 

You may not deem your morning coffee or tea preparation as a sacred ritual. Maybe you consider it more of a task, part of an obligatory morning routine. So what is a ritual and how is it different from a routine? Ritualists would say routine has a primary goal of achievement—aligning with the ideals of capitalism or, more generally, a culture of urgency and self-improvement. Routine places more importance on productivity than anything else. In contrast, a ritual  is done “for the purpose of personal gratification or spiritual enrichment”. When you start caring about how you do a routine, it can become transformed into a ritual. 

Rituals can tether you to something greater than yourself, like ancestors, and provide a sense of belonging to the bigger universe. They offer sacred space to honor and contain transitional periods in our lives. As Rebecca Lester wrote: “One of the most important features of rituals is that they do not only mark time; they create time. By defining beginnings and ends to developmental and social phases, rituals structure our social worlds and how we understand time, relationships, and change.”  When you engage in cultural or family rituals to acknowledge an event in the same way previous generations have, you are essentially using ritual as a way to hack into the universal unconscious. 

According to Etymonline.com, ritual’s etymological roots lie in the 1560s, ‘pertaining to or consisting of a rite or rites,’ from French ritual or directly from Latin ritualis" relating to (religious) rites," from ritus ‘religious observance or ceremony, custom, usage.’ Today, ritual can, of course, mean something religious, spiritual, or secular. Merriam Webster defines it as “the established form for a ceremony” or a “ritual observance, a ceremonial act or action, an act or series of acts regularly repeated in a set and precise manner”. In an integrative review of the psychology of ritual, authors define ritual as “predefined sequences characterized by rigidity, formality, and repetition that are embedded in a larger system of symbolism and meaning, but contain elements that lack direct instrumental purpose.” 

Whether religious or secular, ritual practice can animate our lives and lend meaning to people who engage in them. Rituals can include everything from reading last rites to celebrating rites of passage like high school graduation. Rituals take many forms. They may include lighting a candle at an altar or the cultural interaction of bowing or shaking hands when you first meet someone. Rituals can come in the form of prayer, meditation, or journaling. From personal rituals like morning coffee-making to culturally significant rites of passage like baptisms and quinceañeras, ritual practice can evoke positive emotion and have a profound impact. 

One research study from Harvard Business School demonstrated that rituals improved performance, from public speaking to first dates. Researchers concluded that “Simple, novel rituals reduce anxiety lower elevated heart rates, and improve performance—provided they are imbued with symbolic meaning.” In addition, many studies demonstrate that rituals can act like a scaffolding into the unknown, infusing our lives with a sense of peace and control. For example, after the death of a loved one, many mourners see personal or religious end-of-life and funeral rituals as a lighthouse guiding them through their grief.

Joseph Campbell describes ritual as “the enactment of a myth.” He writes, “By participating in the ritual, you are participating in the myth. And since myth is a projection of the depth and wisdom of the psyche, by participating in a ritual, participating in the myth, you are being as it were, but in accord with that wisdom, which is wisdom that is inherent within you anyhow. Your consciousness is being reminded of the wisdom of your own life.” The connectedness ritual provides—whether to ourselves, our family, our community, our spirituality, our culture, or our world—is of incredible value to our mental health and well-being. 

To explore your own ritual practices and their impact, consider the following questions:

• What rituals do you practice daily, weekly, monthly, annually? Which rites of passage come to mind?
• What are the origins of your different rituals? Do they come from your family, religion, values, or somewhere else?
• Which rituals have marked significant times in your life? Which rituals have helped you with endings, beginnings, or new chapters in your life?
• Which feelings do you associate with certain rituals? What kind of positive impact does each ritual have on your life? Have you adopted any rituals because you were seeking a certain positive impact on your life?
• How have rituals imbued your life with meaning? What is the most meaningful ritual you currently practice or have practiced?
• How do rituals support you in times of stress, hardship, grief, or overwhelm?

Lindsay Roznowski is a licensed professional counselor with over 20 years of experience. She is passionate about connecting authentically, collaborating on treatment goals so clients feel empowered, invested, and hopeful. She believes in a holistic, open-minded approach to healing and integrates knowledge of yoga, nature-inspired therapy, trauma-focused treatment, and eco-systemic family therapy. In the near future, she will be integrating EMDR and IFS therapies as well. She works with children ages 8+, tweens, adolescents, and adults. She will be offering nature-inspired workshops for children and adolescents this Spring, so reach out to her to learn more. She is also beginning a blog series soon called "Let's Try It”. In it, she will trying different wellness practices and services (think--acupuncture, cold plunge, meditation) and sharing what she learns. You can reach her at 215-326-9665 and lindsay@bloomwellnesscounseling.com. 

What Mushrooms Taught Me

by Lindsay Roznowski

When the pandemic hit in March of 2020 and all of our worlds shut down, I was working as a counselor at an all-residential boarding school for 9th through 12th graders. I lived on campus, like all faculty at the school, and although my living where I worked gave the shut down an intense spin, I was grateful that my workplace also included 2,200 acres of nature preserve for me to explore. I always appreciated the richness of the woods around the campus, but in the early days of the pandemic, long, daily nature walks became my thing. At a time when I felt constricted, confused, and restless, those walks lent me an expansive energy I could not find anywhere else.

One day in May of 2020, as I headed out to the forest, I was talking to a science teacher colleague about all of the creatures I had observed recently on my walks. She suggested I try a science-based image recognition app called “Seek” so that I could find out about the specific species I was seeing. This excited me! That day, I took her suggestion, downloaded the app and spent an hour in the creek learning more about North American Leopard Frogs, Pickerel Frogs, Fowler’s Toads, and American Bullfrogs. As I wrapped up my amphibian adventure, a bright orange pile of something caught my eye on the path by the creek. As I approached, I was sure someone who loved the woods as much as I did left behind the peels of their clementine snack. Upon closer inspection, there were a ton of clementine peels, and they were growing out of the ground. I was perplexed and wowed. I used the image recognition app to identify this dazzling discovery as orange peel fungus. The magic of that moment—the combination of awe, confusion, curiosity—opened up something profound in me.

Since that day in 2020 when my fungal discovery filled me with wonder, amateur mycology (the study of fungus) has become my passion. Over the past three years, I have identified 356 species of fungus in the wild. I have learned a lot over that time about the science of mushrooms, but also about letting myself love what I love, the magic that lives in the woods, and the power of awe.

I recognized the feeling of awe in my body when it hit me unexpectedly, but I wanted to know more about the psychology and science behind it. Why did it feel like the kind of emotional and physical lightning bolt I needed? Merriam-Webster defines awe as “an emotion variously combining dread, veneration, and wonder that is inspired by authority or by the sacred or sublime.”




 

How Embracing Wonder Makes Us Happier and Healthie

by Lindsay Roznowski

Psychologist Jonah Paquette dedicated a whole book to the emotion of awe in his newest book, Awestruck: How Embracing Wonder Can Make You Happier, Healthier, and More Connected. He says that “…awe often occurs as a result of something in our external world that overwhelms our senses—a beautiful sunset, a magnificent mountain, or the night sky above. But sometimes, awe can result from things that are not from the physical realm at all, but rather within our own minds—whether from learning a mind-blowing fact or allowing ourselves to see something in a new light. This kind of mind-bending awe doesn’t require us to travel off to distant lands or buy a ticket to the local symphony; rather, it requires us to open ourselves up to the wonders of the world in a different way, and to harness the power of our imaginations to evoke moments of awe within us.” Dr. Paquette suggests that our openness, curiosity, and willingness to have our minds blown contributes to the intensity and impact of the awe.

After that May day when I got hooked on mycology, I not only continued my daily nature walks, but started to document all new species I found in photographs, and even created my own amateur mycology Instagram page called @phun.gal to share my fungal adventures with the world. It felt exciting to focus on something that I loved that had nothing to do with my job. I wondered if the happiness I felt as a result of my new hobby was just the novelty of teaching an old dog (that’s me!) a new trick or if it was something bigger than that.

What I have found through research is that there is incredible science behind the benefits of awe on the mind and body. Experiencing awe can lead to decreased inflammation in the body, increased dopamine, engagement of the vagus nerve and the parasympathetic nervous system, and an expansion in perception of time among other amazing things.

The Nature Fix

In The Nature Fix, author Florence Williams surveyed many historical figures’ attempts to summarize the experience I had that day in the woods with the Orange Peel Fungus. She discussed how eighteenth-century Irish philosopher, Edmund Burke, posited that “feelings of spirituality don’t just spring from religion: they also spring from transcendent experiences in nature…According to Burke, for something to be truly awe-inspiring, it must possess the ‘vastness of extent’ as well as a degree of difficulty in our ability to make sense of it. That awe also inspires feelings of humility and a more outward perspective has been well described by philosophers, priests and poets.” There was definitely something special about the experience of perceiving something to be a known object and then having to make space in my mind for the fact that it was something totally different, mysterious, and interesting. I had put my finger on the emotion I was experiencing when I first spotted the Orange Peel Fungus, but I wondered how I could keep feeling that kind of awe and how I could preserve the positive side effects.
 

What Fungus Taught Me About Awe

by Lindsay Roznowski

When the pandemic hit in March of 2020 and all of our worlds shut down, I was working as a counselor at an all-residential boarding school for 9th through 12th graders. I lived on campus, like all faculty at the school, and although my living where I worked gave the shut down an intense spin, I was grateful that my workplace also included 2,200 acres of nature preserve for me to explore. I always appreciated the richness of the woods around the campus, but in the early days of the pandemic, long, daily nature walks became my thing. At a time when I felt constricted, confused, and restless, those walks lent me an expansive energy I could not find anywhere else.

One day in May of 2020, as I headed out to the forest, I was talking to a science teacher colleague about all of the creatures I had observed recently on my walks. She suggested I try a science-based image recognition app called “Seek” so that I could find out about the specific species I was seeing. This excited me! That day, I took her suggestion, downloaded the app and spent an hour in the creek learning more about North American Leopard Frogs, Pickerel Frogs, Fowler’s Toads, and American Bullfrogs. As I wrapped up my amphibian adventure, a bright orange pile of something caught my eye on the path by the creek. As I approached, I was sure someone who loved the woods as much as I did left behind the peels of their clementine snack. Upon closer inspection, there were a ton of clementine peels, and they were growing out of the ground. I was perplexed and wowed. I used the image recognition app to identify this dazzling discovery as orange peel fungus. The magic of that moment—the combination of awe, confusion, curiosity—opened up something profound in me.

Since that day in 2020 when my fungal discovery filled me with wonder, amateur mycology (the study of fungus) has become my passion. Over the past three years, I have identified 356 species of fungus in the wild. I have learned a lot over that time about the science of mushrooms, but also about letting myself love what I love, the magic that lives in the woods, and the power of awe.

I recognized the feeling of awe in my body when it hit me unexpectedly, but I wanted to know more about the psychology and science behind it. Why did it feel like the kind of emotional and physical lightning bolt I needed? Merriam-Webster defines awe as “an emotion variously combining dread, veneration, and wonder that is inspired by authority or by the sacred or sublime.”

The Nature Fix

In The Nature Fix, author Florence Williams surveyed many historical figures’ attempts to summarize the experience I had that day in the woods with the Orange Peel Fungus. She discussed how eighteenth-century Irish philosopher, Edmund Burke, posited that “feelings of spirituality don’t just spring from religion: they also spring from transcendent experiences in nature…According to Burke, for something to be truly awe-inspiring, it must possess the ‘vastness of extent’ as well as a degree of difficulty in our ability to make sense of it. That awe also inspires feelings of humility and a more outward perspective has been well described by philosophers, priests and poets.” There was definitely something special about the experience of perceiving something to be a known object and then having to make space in my mind for the fact that it was something totally different, mysterious, and interesting. I had put my finger on the emotion I was experiencing when I first spotted the Orange Peel Fungus, but I wondered how I could keep feeling that kind of awe and how I could preserve the positive side effects.

How Embracing Wonder Makes Us Happier and Healthier

Psychologist Jonah Paquette dedicated a whole book to the emotion of awe in his newest book, Awestruck: How Embracing Wonder Can Make You Happier, Healthier, and More Connected. He says that “…awe often occurs as a result of something in our external world that overwhelms our senses—a beautiful sunset, a magnificent mountain, or the night sky above. But sometimes, awe can result from things that are not from the physical realm at all, but rather within our own minds—whether from learning a mind-blowing fact or allowing ourselves to see something in a new light. This kind of mind-bending awe doesn’t require us to travel off to distant lands or buy a ticket to the local symphony; rather, it requires us to open ourselves up to the wonders of the world in a different way, and to harness the power of our imaginations to evoke moments of awe within us.”  Dr. Paquette suggests that our openness, curiosity, and willingness to have our minds blown contributes to the intensity and impact of the awe.

After that May day when I got hooked on mycology, I not only continued my daily nature walks, but started to document all new species I found in photographs, and even created my own amateur mycology Instagram page called @phun.gal to share my fungal adventures with the world. It felt exciting to focus on something that I loved that had nothing to do with my job. I wondered if the happiness I felt as a result of my new hobby was just the novelty of teaching an old dog (that’s me!) a new trick or if it was something bigger than that.

What I have found through research is that there is incredible science behind the benefits of awe on the mind and body. Experiencing awe can lead to decreased inflammation in the body, increased dopamine, engagement of the vagus nerve and the parasympathetic nervous system, and an expansion in perception of time among other amazing things.

Becoming a Collector of Awe

So how will you open yourself up to the power of awe around you? How can we permanently hold onto the magic of awe that we have already experienced? Dr. Paquette makes some suggestions on how we can become collectors of awe: “Try experimenting with different ways of capturing your favorite moments of awe. Like a museum curator, compile some of your favorite images, memories, objects, and reminders of these experiences. You might keep a journal to record some of your favorite awe-inspiring memories…Or you might hang pictures on the wall or keep mementoes that remind you of these incredible moments. If you’re more digitally inclined, you can consider creating a sort of digital playlist that includes both your own experiences of awe as well as other sorts of awe-inspiring videos, songs, movies, or images. Experiment with what works for you. And as you encounter new awe-inspiring experiences, find a way to add those to your portfolio or playlist as well. Try to devote some time each week, even for just a few moments, to relive and replay some of those moments and memories.”

Lindsay Roznowski is a Licensed Professional Counselor providing individual and family therapy to children, adolescents, and adults. Specialties include trauma-focused cognitive behavior therapy; yoga and mindfulness; therapeutic work with children and adolescents; and family therapy. Lindsay teaches her clients happiness practices and skills derived from positive psychology as a way to invest in themselves and their self-care, especially during these complicated times. She is a certified yoga teacher and uses her background dialectical behavior therapy, mindfulness-based approaches, and trauma-focused therapy to offer her clients informed, holistic care. She works collaboratively with each client to create a therapy plan that acknowledges the whole person and supports the fullness of each client’s personal goals. In addition to counseling, Lindsay also offers therapeutic groups and workshops. For questions or to schedule a session, contact Lindsay at 215-326-9665 or at
lindsay@bloomwellnesscounseling.com.

Signature Strengths - Building on Strengths to Increase Happiness

by Lindsay Roznowski

The final happiness practice I will share is called Signature Strengths. No two people are the same, and their strengths differ. Whereas sometimes we may be focused on areas where we feel we need to improve, Positive Psychology experts encourage us to lean in more fully to the areas where we are already strong — and build upon it, perhaps infusing some play, creativity, and innovation. New habits can be difficult to start, but simply choosing one of these practices to try on a consistent basis could be a profound investment in one’s own happiness and peace. Difficult life events like the pandemic can put things in perspective for all of us, and my hope is that we are all learning, one practice at a time, how to finally put our oxygen masks on first.

Instructions: Identify your top 3-5 signature strengths from the below list. For a week, choose one of your signature strengths daily and try to use it in a new way.

24 Signature Strengths Examples (Peterson & Seligman)

Appreciation of Beauty – Appreciating beauty or excellence in various domains of life 

Spirituality – Drawing strength from a higher purpose, or greater meaning in life

Gratitude – Being aware of, and thankful for, the good things that happen around us

Hope—Expecting the best to happen in the future, and working to attain it

Humor—finding joy in laughter, and bringing such joy to others 

Forgiveness – being able to forgive others, and grant second chances 

Humility and Modesty – allowing one’s accomplishments to speak for themselves

Prudence – not taking unnecessary risks; not doing things that might later be regretted 

Self-Regulation – regulating what one feels and does; being able to manage and control one’s emotions 

Citizenship – working well as a member of a group or team 

Fairness – treating others equally well 

Leadership – helping others reach greater heights 

Love – valuing close relationships with others  

Kindness – doing good deeds and favors for others 

Social Intelligence – having awareness of others’ feelings and internal processes 

Bravery – not shrinking from threat or challenges 

Persistence – finishing what one starts; not giving up easily 

Integrity – valuing genuineness; taking responsibility for one’s feelings and actions 

Vitality – approaching life with excitement and energy 

Creativity – thinking of novel ways to do things

Curiosity – being interested in experience for its own sake

Open-Mindedness – examining things from all sides

Love of Learning – mastering new skills, topics, bodies of knowledge 

Perspective – providing wise counsel to others

 

Optimism Practice to Increase Happiness

Positive Psychology encourages us to engage in optimism practices in order to increase our happiness in everyday life. It is natural, even hard-wired for our survival, to focus on the negative — either forecasting something negative in the future to try to prevent it or engaging in a detailed review of something that went poorly in the past in order to make sure it never happens again. When our goal is increased happiness (rather than survival from current day “lions and tigers and bears”, then we will want to practice being optimistic about the future and past instead. Two practices are explained below: A Positive Future and Reflecting on Success.

Optimism Practice #1: A Positive Future 

For the next week, set aside twenty minutes per day to journal about your positive future. Picture yourself five or ten years from now, and imagine that things in your life have gone as well as you could have hoped for. Your dreams have been realized, and you have achieved your deepest and most meaningful goals. Close your eyes, and spend a few moments conjuring this image. Consider different domains of your life, including your relationships, career, family, and hobbies. Allow yourself to bask in this vivid image, and to savor the feelings that come up as you do. When you are ready, begin writing about what you imagined.

Optimism Practice #2: Reflecting on Success

One of the best ways to remind ourselves that things will turn out OK in life is to reflect on times when we’ve already overcome hardship or adversity.

Instructions: Think back on a time from the past in which you’ve been successful at achieving an important goal. Take a moment and think back on various accomplishments you have reached in various domains in your life. Consider successes at school, at work, and in your relationships. Choose one of these triumphs and write about the success in greater detail. If you find it helpful, feel free to repeat this with various other successes you’ve had in your life. To help you get started, consider the following questions:

What was the nature of your success?
How hard did you work to attain it?
Were there times when you thought of giving up? If so, what kept you going?
Who did you receive support from during the process?
What did you learn from reaching this goal?
How does it feel to reflect on this success?

Connection Practices to Create Happiness

Positive Psychology researchers found that our happiness is increased when we engage in intentional activities to increase our positive connection with others. Two connection practices are shared: Gratitude Report Card and Loving-Kindness Meditation.

Connection Practice #1: Gratitude Report Card

Instructions: Over the next week, choose one person in your life with whom you have a close relationship, preferably someone whom you see regularly. This may be a romantic partner, a close friend, a child, or a colleague at work. Each day, write down at least one thing that you appreciate about the person, or something they did for which you are thankful. These appreciations can range in size or scope, but the important thing is that you identify at least one thing each day to write down. At the end of the week, have a face-to-face conversation with this person expressing your thanks to them. Share your list with them, and express how much they mean to you and how appreciative you are to have them in your life.

Connection Practice #2: Loving-Kindness Meditation 

Instructions: Begin by sitting in a comfortable position. Sit upright and relaxed, with your hands resting on your lap. Take three steady and even breaths, and when you are ready, close your eyes.

Continue to breathe, slowly in and slowly out. Notice the feeling of the air entering through your nose, and observe how it’s slightly warmer on the way out.

Become aware of your body as you sit. Feel your body as it makes contact with the support beneath you. Feel your body resting comfortably, and notice any sensations within your body. 

When you are ready, form an image of yourself in your mind’s eye. Picture yourself as you currently sit, and feel your heart open up. Remind yourself that like anyone else, you wish to live happily and in peace. Connect fully with that intention, and feel a sense of warmth pour over you. 

Continue to picture yourself as you sit in this moment. Gently and in silence, repeat the following phrases to yourself: 
May I be safe.
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I be peaceful and at ease. 

Take your time, all the while maintaining the image of yourself in your mind’s eye. Allow the feelings of peace and tranquility to sink in, and savor the meaning of the words. 

When you notice your mind wander or your thoughts drift, simply notice this, and return to the present moment. 

When you are ready, form an image now of someone whom it is easy to feel loving kindness towards. It could be someone from the past or the present, and could be a friend, family member, or even a pet. A simple, positive relationship can work best to start with. Picture that person, and feel your heart open up to them. Remind yourself that like anyone else, you wish for them to live happily and in peace. Connect fully with that intention, and feel a sense of warmth and compassion pour over you. 

Continue to picture this loved one as you sit in this moment. Gently and in silence, repeat the following phrases to yourself: 
May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be peaceful and at ease. 

Once more, fully allow the words to sink in, and feel your heart open up with love and compassion towards yourself and towards this other person. Take a moment to savor this moment. 

When you are ready, gently open your eyes and return to the room.

Mindfulness Practices to Increase Happiness

To understand a little more about mindfulness — and why cultivating mindfulness is a mega trend for good reason, watch this video on why mindfulness is a superpower. Next, you may want to experiment with trying one or both of the exercises below: Mindfulness of the Breath and Raisin Meditation. Both are practices taught by the experts in Positive Psychology who discovered that happiness is state of being we can nurture through active practice.

Mindfulness Practice #1: Mindfulness of the Breath

Instructions: Begin by finding a comfortable, peaceful place to sit. Set aside around ten minutes to start with, though you can extend this as you wish in the days to come. Sit down in a manner that’s comfortable, either in a chair or on the ground. Keep your back straight, allowing your shoulders to relax. Close your eyes, or choose a spot on the floor in front of you to focus your gaze.

Begin by taking three easy and gentle breaths in through your nose, followed by slow and steady exhales. With each breath, feel yourself slowing down and becoming more immersed in the moment.

If you notice your mind wandering or your thoughts drifting, simply notice this and return your attention and awareness to your breath. You may notice your mind wandering at many points during this meditation; it’s simply what our mind does. Merely observe this tendency, and without judgment, return your awareness to your breathing.

Bring full attention now to your breathing. As you inhale and exhale, observe where in your body you notice your breath the most. Perhaps it’s in your chest, as you feel it rise and fall with each breath. Others notice their breath most strongly in their nostrils, as the air passes coolly on the way in, and slightly warmer on the way out. Still others notice the breath most clearly in their stomach and abdomen, as it rises and falls with each passing breath. Wherever it is, take a moment to simply notice where the breath is most clearly felt in your body.

Notice how it feels to fully focus on your inhale. As you inhale, notice any particular feelings of tension or strain, and notice the sensation of your lungs and abdomen filling up as you inhale. 

Now gently shift your awareness to focus more on your exhale. With each exhale, notice what it’s like to feel your breath passing out through your nostrils. And observe, without judgment, anything that you feel in your body. 

For the next few minutes, continue to breathe gently and evenly. Feel the breath as it comes through your nose, followed by a steady exhale. 

Notice what’s happening in your mind. If you notice your mind wandering or your thoughts drifting, don’t judge yourself or react self-critically. Simply notice this, and gently redirect your attention and awareness back to your breathing. 

After ten minutes, gently open your eyes and bring your awareness back to your surroundings. Allow yourself to bask in the comfort and tranquility of the present moment.

Mindfulness Practice #2: Raisin Meditation

To begin, set aside five to ten minutes in a quiet place. Ensure that you’ll have no distractions; be sure to turn off your phone, shut off the television, and put aside anything else that might take away your attention. For the next few minutes, you’ll be doing something that you do every day (eating), but in a different way than usual. Your intention will be to eat a raisin in a mindful manner, fully immersed in the experience.

Begin by taking the raisin and placing it in the palm of your hand.

Glance down at it, pretending for a moment that you’ve never seen anything like it before. Alternate between holding the raisin in your hand, and placing it between your forefinger and thumb to more fully feel its texture. Notice the weight of the raisin as it rests in your hand.

Now take a moment to really see the raisin, paying particular attention to its subtle details. With full attention and awareness, notice the texture of the raisin, and the shadow it casts on your palm. Notice its ridges, and the particular colors it contains.

Placing the raisin between your fingers now, observe all of its texture with even more awareness. How does it feel to brush your fingers over the raisin? Feel the ridges on its surface. 

Now bring the raisin up towards your nose. As you inhale, simply notice any smells or scents that you detect. Or if you cannot detect a scent, simply notice that as well, without judgment. 

Slowly take the raisin and place it gently in your mouth. Observe what happens within your mouth when you do; perhaps you’ll find yourself salivating, or notice your tongue “reaching out” towards the raisin as you place it in your mouth. Before chewing, simply notice whatever sensations come up in your mouth now that you’ve placed the raisin on your tongue. 

Take a single bite into the raisin, and notice how doing so affects your mouth and tongue. Notice the different textures that you can now pick up on. When you’re ready, continue to slowly chew the raisin. But before swallowing, again simply notice all that’s occurring right now in your mouth, mind, and body. 

When you’re ready, swallow the raisin, and continue to observe any feelings, reactions, thoughts, and emotions that come up for you as you do. Without judgment, bring full awareness to whatever is happening inside of you, and take a minute to merely sit with those reactions with your eyes closed.
 

Self Compassion Practices for Happiness

According to Positive Psychology Research and Trainer Dr. Jonah Raqette, practices that focus on deepening our compassion for ourselves also contribute to our overall happiness. Experiment with writing the letter below, one of many effective Self-Compassion exercises, and notice the possibility of softening to yourself, relaxing, and inviting more compassion, ease, and happiness.

Self Compassion Practice #1: Letter of Self-Compassion
In this exercise, you’ll begin exploring how to build self-compassion when it comes to areas of your life you normally criticize.

Instructions: We all have things about ourselves that we don’t like, or that we tend to criticize. These might include something about the way we look, how we perform at work, or how we behave or don’t behave around others. These feelings of inadequacy are painful indeed, but are an inevitable part of life for all of us. Take a moment and reflect on one of these aspects of yourself that you often focus on in a negative way. Feel whatever emotions come up for you and notice the sorts of judgments that arise in your mind when you reflect on this issue.

Next, think about someone in your life who is kind, caring, loving, and compassionate towards you. It can either be a real person with whom you feel closeness and trust, or if you prefer, someone you imagine. This person can see your best qualities, as well as your areas of weakness. They understand and care for you, in good times and in bad. They understand that you are a human being, with strengths as well as flaws. Above all, they accept you and love you unconditionally, imperfections and all.
For the next few minutes, write a letter to yourself from the point of view of this friend. Focus in particular on the issue you came up with earlier, whether it was something to do with appearance, career success, behavior, or how you are in a particular relationship. What might this friend say to you regarding your perceived flaw or failure? How might they offer you comfort and demonstrate caring towards you? What might they do to show you kindness and compassion? How might their voice sound? What feelings would they want to convey towards you? Imagine this scenario, and allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up.

When you are ready, fill your letter with the sense of compassion and love that this friend has for you. Once you have finished writing it, re-read the letter to yourself, letting the words sink in. Close your eyes, and feel the warmth and compassion flowing over you. Feel it growing and welling up inside of you. It is yours now, an infinite and renewable source of love and support, here for you whenever you need it.
 

Kindness and Compassion Practices for Greater Happiness

Positive Psychology Trainer Dr. Jonah Paquette teaches us that practices to show kindness and compassion to others have the additional benefit of contributing to our own happiness. Two kindness and compassion practices are described below: Acts of Kindness and Volunteering. When we are kind to others, it generates a positive feeling for them but also for us and contributes to our overall sense of well-being.

Kindness and Compassion Practice #1: Five Acts of Kindness
Instructions: In our everyday lives, we all perform acts of kindness towards others, and receive similar kindness as well. Some of these acts may be small, while others may seem much larger in scope. Sometimes the person for whom the kind act is being performed may not even be aware of the act. Examples of kind acts include donating blood, volunteering, helping paint a friend’s house, feeding a stranger’s expired parking meter, or bringing coffee to work for a colleague. Over the next week, choose a single day of the week to serve as your “kindness day,” and perform five acts of kindness towards others on that day. Repeat this practice for at least four weeks.

Example: Kindness Day/Date: Tuesday, November 11 

Kind Act #1: This morning, I brought coffee for the support staff at work.
Kind Act #2: Today, I sent a small donation for disaster relief efforts in the Philippines following a recent devastating storm.
Kind Act #3: At noon, I smiled and asked the grocery store checkout clerk how her day was going.
Kind Act #4: This evening, I sent a message checking in on a friend I haven’t seen in a few years.
Kind Act #5: Today, I tracked down and personally thanked a co-worker for their excellent and hard work with a mutual patient.

Impressions: Performing a few of these small acts of kindness not only felt good, it turned out to be fun, too. I especially enjoyed doing things that brought me face-to-face with other people so that I could directly see the impact of my kindness on them. For example, when I brought coffee in for our support staff, I could really see how touched and appreciative they were. I think in the future I’d like to keep coming up with ways to directly interact with others during my kind acts, because that seems to feel especially meaningful to me.

Kindness and Compassion Practice #2: Volunteering and Community Service in your community is also an option for a happiness building practice in the area of kindness and compassion. VolunteerMatch is a great website to check out opportunities in your community to help out.

Gratitude Practices for Increased Happiness

Dr. Jonah Paquette is a Trainer in Positive Psychology. Positive Psychology research studied the beliefs and behaviors of happy, content people to figure out what practices they engage in -- so that we can learn from them in order to increase our own experiences of happiness everyday. Dr. Paquette encourages us to practice gratitude as a way to build more happiness in our lives. Here are a few practices you can try. 

Gratitude Practice #1: Three Good Things

Instructions: Each night for the next two weeks before you go to bed, write down three things that went well for you that day. These good things can be relatively small or minor occurrences, or they can be larger and of greater significance to you. Below each positive event that you list, please write down an answer to the question “Why did this good thing happen?” or “What was my contribution to this good thing?” After two weeks, write a brief reflection on how this practice impacted your mood.

Example: 

Good Thing #1: I had a fulfilling day at work and my sessions with clients went well.
Why this happened/My contribution: I made sure I got plenty of sleep last night and tried to be very present and attuned in my sessions today.

Good Thing #2: My partner cooked my favorite dinner, spaghetti and meatballs.
Why this happened/My contribution: I expressed gratitude and thanked her the last time she cooked, and told her how much I appreciated it.

Good Thing #3: It was a beautiful and sunny day outside when I was driving to work.
Why this happened/My Contribution: I took the time to notice and appreciate the weather, instead of being on “autopilot” on my way to work.

Gratitude Practice #2: Gratitude Letter/Visit

Instructions: 

We all have people in our lives – friends, parents, teachers, mentors, colleagues, coaches, bosses, and so forth – who have helped us throughout the years. Think about someone in your life who has helped you along the way, but whom you have never properly thanked. For the purpose of this exercise, think about an individual who lives near enough to you such that you can visit them in the next few weeks. Write a detailed and thorough letter of gratitude towards this person, expressing your feelings towards them. Thank them for all that they have done for you, and how their kindness impacted your life. Revise the letter as needed, and when you feel satisfied with it, set up a meeting with that individual but don’t yet tell them the true purpose of your visit. When you meet this person, please either read them the letter aloud or have them read it in your presence. Talk to them about what it was like for them, and share your feelings with them as well. After doing this exercise, write a brief reflection about what the experience was like for you, and how it felt.

How this exercise works: We’ve all heard about the power of gratitude and the interpersonal component of gratitude may be the most potent ingredient of this practice. This exercise is essentially interpersonal gratitude on turbo power. Not only are we reflecting on and identifying people to whom we feel grateful, we are expressing it directly to them in both written and verbal form. Thus, we are opening the gateway for increased closeness and connection with that individual.

Getting started: I recommend using a fresh sheet of paper to write your letter (or better yet, using a computer so that you can edit as needed). To get started, I invite you to reflect on a few people whom you might have interest in writing your letter to. Think about someone who has helped you along the way, but whom you wish to thank in an in-depth and heartfelt way. Consider the following questions to generate ideas and start formulating the basis of your gratitude letter:

Whom do I feel gratitude towards?
What does this person mean to me?
What did he/she do to help me?
What would I like to say to this person?
What emotions come up as I reflect on this person?
How is my life different because of this person?

Practicing Happiness in Unprecedented Times

by Lindsay Roznowski

These days, I have a special resentment in my heart for the phrase “unprecedented times.” The past few years have been unpredictable, confusing, and anxiety-provoking as we learn how to do pretty much everything differently. The need to constantly adapt and engage in novel problem-solving for situations that our life experiences have not prepared us for has us all feeling frayed and exhausted. As we emerge from the turmoil of the last two years, many of us have reflected on how we want to show up in the world moving forward. An unpredictable life event that undermines your feeling of security in the world has a way of urging us toward that kind of self-reflection. Personally, this time has motivated me to ask myself: “How do I want to live? How do I want to thrive in ways that I was not pre-pandemic?” Much of what came up for me was that I needed to find ways to prioritize myself in proactive and consistent ways. Everyone talks about self-care, but how often do we prioritize self-care like we would a work appointment or our child’s soccer game? How many of us fully grasp the “putting the oxygen mask on yourself first” metaphor, but still wake up every day and somehow put ourselves last?

The need for proactive and consistent self-care brought to mind a terrific training I attended a few years ago on Positive Psychology with Dr. Jonah Paquette. Positive Psychology is defined as “the scientific study of strengths that enable individuals and communities to thrive.” Positive Psychology is founded on the belief that people desire meaningful and fulfilling lives and wish “to cultivate what is best within themselves to enhance their experiences of love, work, and play.” (Positive Psychology Center, University of Pennsylvania). I came away from the training understanding that happiness can and should be invested in and built on a regular basis and that constructing positivity in our lives takes practice just as other life skills do. During the training we worked with this specific definition of happiness: “The experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.” (Sonja Lyuborminsky, Ph.D.) Research shows that happier people are healthier people and that happiness has several significant causal effects including psychological (increased life satisfaction, lower rates of depression and anxiety, increased resiliency), physical (increased longevity, improved health, stronger immune system, coping with chronic illness), and life (stronger marriages, closer relationships, improved job performance). Happiness means different things to different people, especially generationally, but Dr. Paquette highlighted this important fact—no matter who you are, happiness comes with practice.  

Dr. Paquette discussed several notable barriers to our happiness including happiness forecasting, hedonic adaptation, and a negative brain. He explained that as humans, we are the only species that engages in happiness forecasting, a practice in which we predict that we will be happy when something specific happens or when we achieve a specific goal (like our sports team winning the championship or getting that promotion at work). One of the biggest problems with happiness forecasting is that we are very bad at it; we habitually hang our hat of happiness on the hook of external events out of our control. And further, we often associate the achievement of happiness with something external, instead of investing in the work internally. In addition, research has found that even when we do externalize our happiness and focus on achieving something we think will make us happier, once we do, hedonic adaptation quickly sets in and we return to our relatively stable baseline level of happiness. On the neuroscience side, it is clear that our brains are like Velcro for negative thoughts and Teflon for positive thoughts, so we must practice positivity more often and more consistently in order for it to finally stick.

Dr. Paquette introduced us to happiness-building practices in numerous areas including: gratitude, kindness and compassion, self-compassion, mindfulness, connection, optimism, and signature strengths. A series of exercises on each of these practices are included below. Have fun experimenting with one or more of these powerful practices to strengthen your happiness!

Lindsay Roznowski is a Licensed Professional Counselor providing individual and family therapy to children, adolescents, and adults. Specialties include trauma-focused cognitive behavior therapy; yoga and mindfulness; therapeutic work with children and adolescents; and family therapy. Lindsay teaches her clients happiness practices and skills derived from positive psychology as a way to invest in themselves and their self-care, especially during these complicated times. She is a certified yoga teacher and uses her background dialectical behavior therapy, mindfulness-based approaches, and trauma-focused therapy to offer her clients informed, holistic care. She works collaboratively with each client to create a therapy plan that acknowledges the whole person and supports the fullness of each client’s personal goals. In addition to counseling, Lindsay also offers therapeutic groups and workshops. For questions or to schedule a session, contact Lindsay at 215-326-9665 or at
lindsay@bloomwellnesscounseling.com.