by Allison Beer, LCSW
Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS) provides a way to connect with parts, including our inner critic, so we can understand them better. As we do, greater clarity and confidence are possible. Think of a recent moment when you were hard on yourself—maybe you felt you said the wrong thing, acted awkwardly, or made a mistake. Bring awareness to that inner critical voice and gently explore the following:
- What thoughts are coming up? About yourself? About how others may see you?
- What emotions do you notice? Embarrassment, anxiety, frustration?
- What sensations are present in your body? Tightness in your stomach? A quickened breath? Or maybe nothing at all?
Now, focus on this critical part of you. Does an image, color, or texture come to mind? If not, that’s okay too—just stay with whatever is present.
How do you feel toward this part? Do you wish it would go away? If frustration or resistance arises, acknowledge those feelings. Let them know they are seen, and if they’re willing, invite them to step back slightly.
If you notice even a small sense of openness or curiosity, extend it toward this part and ask:
- What do you want me to know?
- What are you afraid would happen if you stopped being so hard on me?
- How are you trying to help?
Listen with compassion. When you feel ready, thank this part for sharing with you. Take a few deep breaths to close.
The next time your inner critic speaks up—telling you to do more, be better, or work harder—pause. Check in with yourself and gently revisit this practice. With time, you may find that even your most critical parts are simply trying to protect you in their own way.
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