Mastering the Art of Communication with Your Teen

by Olivia Ruffin, MS, NCC, LPC

Hey there, parents! Let's be real—raising teens is no joke. The road is often bumpy, and communication during these years can feel like a minefield. Your teen is navigating a whirlwind of emotions, trying to figure out their identity, while seeking more independence. It’s no wonder conversations can quickly spiral into misunderstandings. At this stage, your teen is not always sure how to express what they’re feeling, and sometimes, it feels like you’re speaking different languages. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But don't stress because every relationship hits bumps in the road. What matters is how we recover and grow from them.

So, let me ask you this: When was the last time you and your teen had a disagreement, and how did both of you feel afterward? Take a moment to think about it. Now, consider this: What steps have you taken to address misunderstandings with your teen, and how effective do you feel those steps have been?

Reflecting on these questions is the first step towards healing and improving your communication with your growing teen. It's all about understanding, patience, and a whole lot of love. In this article, we’ll explore what to avoid and practical ways to mend those communication gaps and build a stronger, more open relationship with your teen. 

What to Avoid

1. Yelling: Your teen comes home late, and you get frustrated, shouting, “Why can’t you just be responsible for once?” Raising your voice can escalate the situation and create a barrier to effective communication. When you yell, it’s not just your teen who feels hurt and misunderstood—you feel it too. Yelling can leave you feeling guilty and regretful afterward, and it doesn't solve the underlying issues.

2. Sweeping Things Under the Rug: After a big argument about curfew, you both pretend it never happened and don’t bring it up again. Acting like the argument never happened can create emotional distance and lingering tension between you and your teen. Avoiding issues might bring temporary peace, but unresolved problems weigh on your mind and your teen may feel dismissed, which can also lead to your teen not respecting boundaries if they know that you won’t talk or stick to them. 

3. Not Acknowledging Your Wrongs: When your teen says you’re being unfair or too harsh, you brush it off with, “I’m just trying to get you to take things seriously” without really hearing them out. Not admitting your mistakes during miscommunication can really hurt the trust and respect between you and your teen. It might be tough to own up, but dodging responsibility can leave you feeling guilty and your teen feeling unimportant and undervalued. This creates emotional distance and ongoing tension.

4. Buying Forgiveness Out of Guilt: After a heated argument about curfew, you feel guilty and decide to let your teen go to a party with friends, even though you know there might be alcohol there. You hope that giving in will make up for the argument and ease the tension, but it doesn’t address the real issues. It might seem like an easy out, but it often leaves you feeling empty and your teen feeling like their emotions aren’t valued. 

Alright, we've talked about some of the common pitfalls in communicating with your teen—yelling, ignoring issues, not owning up to mistakes, and trying to buy forgiveness. Recognizing these habits is the first step toward learning how to change them. So, how do we move from these unhealthy patterns to healthier, more effective ways of connecting? It starts with empathy, patience, and a willingness to grow together. Let’s dive into some practical strategies that can help transform your interactions, mend those communication gaps, and build stronger, more understanding relationships with your teen.  

1. Stay Calm — Instead of Yelling: When your teen comes home late, instead of yelling, take a deep breath, and calmly say, “I’m glad you’re home safe. Let’s talk about why you were late.” Staying calm helps keep the conversation productive and shows your teen that you’re willing to listen.
   

Tip: If a conversation with your teen starts getting heated, suggest pausing and revisiting it at a specific time. This approach doesn't mean avoiding the issue; it ensures the discussion happens without escalating tensions. 

2. Address Issues Directly — Instead of Sweeping Things Under the Rug: After an argument about curfew, don’t ignore the issue. Sit down with your teen the next day and say, “Let’s discuss what happened last night and how we can avoid this situation in the future.” This approach ensures that both of you feel heard and understood, preventing lingering resentment.

"Sweeping problems under the rug only leads to a lumpy rug. We must confront our issues with honesty and compassion to create lasting change”-Harriet Lerner, PhD.

3. Own Your Mistakes — Instead of Not Acknowledging Your Wrongs: If you realize you’ve been too harsh, acknowledge it. Try saying, “I was too hard on you earlier, and I’m sorry. Let’s find a better way to talk about this.” Admitting your mistakes builds trust and respect, showing your teen that it’s okay to own up to their errors too.

“Validating your child’s feelings doesn’t mean you agree with them, but it shows you understand and respect their emotions.” - Dr. Marsha Linehan

4. Set Boundaries — Instead of Buying Forgiveness Out of Guilt: After an argument about curfew, instead of letting your teen go to a potentially risky party out of guilt, explain your concerns and set clear boundaries. Say, “I understand you’re upset, but I’m worried about your safety. Let’s find a safer way for you to spend time with your friends.” This demonstrates that their well-being is your priority and that actions have consequences.

Parenting has its challenges, but it can also be incredibly rewarding, especially when improving communication deepens your connection with your teen. Imagine staying calm instead of yelling, addressing issues head-on, owning up to mistakes, and setting clear boundaries without trying to buy forgiveness. These changes can help create a better connection with your teen and show them how to handle conflicts with empathy and understanding because you're leading the way! If you’re ready to dive into more effective communication or need help guiding your teen through their challenges, I’m here for you. Let’s work together and build and maintain stronger relationships with your teen. You’ve got this!

Olivia Ruffin, MS, LPC, is a compassionate Licensed Professional Counselor who helps high-achieving teens and women unmask perfectionism and embrace more mindful, joyful lives. She specializes in offering practical strategies to navigate anxiety and life transitions, guiding clients toward lasting change and genuine, long-term growth. Olivia is trained in DBT and EMDR, providing a comprehensive approach to processing traumatic memories and teaching effective techniques for mindfulness and emotional regulation. To connect with Olivia, please call 267-434-1030. Or email oruffinlpccounseling@gmail.com

Readjusting to Socializing

by Carolyn Abele, MS, LPC

Coming out of a pandemic has been one of the most challenging transitions I have ever encountered.  I constantly hear Gloria Estefan sing, “Coming out of the dark, finally see the light now, it’s shining on meeeeeeeee” when I enter the world and interact with others.  It’s like my brain picked the post random song to somehow explain to my system what is going on.  I am finding I now need to change my social battery less frequently, and it takes longer to recover after being social. Readjusting to interacting and socializing has showed me that my energy doesn’t match the output needed, and I must adjust how I move in life.

In quarantine I found I learned to slow down and just be.  Be quiet, be content, move slow.  Now as we return to some kind of “new normal” I am finding that I am giving myself permission to say “no”.  No to the party. No to dinner in a loud, crowded restaurant. No to my kids who want to go to Target on the weekend.  I mean, Target is my place, but never on a busy weekend day.  I want to quietly stroll the aisles and get the things I need versus want.  I’ve learned a sense of calm satisfaction to get just what is needed and nothing more.  No stockpiling extras, no “just in case” snacks.  Life can be simpler.  “No, thank you”, “No, thanks that’s really not my thing”, or “Nope” come out of my mouth more freely, without guilt.  

Just a few weeks ago my whole family went to a school event.  It was loud and insane.  Ahead of time, I was feeling a little peeved knowing I would have to leave in the middle of it to take my daughter to dance class.  I anticipated that she was going to have a really hard transition, and I didn’t want the drama or to have to make her leave unwillingly.  Funny enough, I worried about something that wasn’t even an issue.  My husband and I playfully argued over who GOT to leave the party and go to ballet that night (playing taxi was typically not a desired Friday night!).  After less than thirty minutes, both of us were done, and our daughter was too.  Leaving a highly stimulating buzz of activity midstream may have been a hardship two years ago, but now? We all adjusted to a quieter life, and in the transition back to the whirlwind of before, we can feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to let it be what it is now. And let ourselves feel what we feel now. Sometimes it is too much. We don’t need to be at all the events, all of the time, for the whole time.  

I’m leaning in as my system and body tell me when enough is enough.  I give myself permission when I don’t want to do something social.  I chose events that appeal to me and to my family.  When I chose what to attend, I am almost always happy I went. I also love coming home again. I have “come out of the dark” (as Gloria Estefan reminds me), and I am much more tuned in to my internal energy and the experiences that feed and deplete me.
 
Carolyn Abele, MS, LPC works with teens and families as well as individuals.  She specializes in working with individuals with anxiety and depression, as well has helping adolescents and their families with behavior related challenges. To connect with Carolyn, please call 215-354-7941 or visit her website.

Practices for Keeping Our Hearts Open

Sometimes the pain of the outer world is so great that it can feel challenging to keep our hearts open. It has been a rough two years. Throughout these unprecedented times, we have found meaning and hope, inspired by our work and supported by our connections as a community. In a recent conversation of Resiliency Center practitioners, we talked about the impact of having great empathy in a time of tremendous pain. We explored the ways we keep our hearts open and caring and how we stay resilient in the process. None of us are perfect at this. Like everyone, it is a work in progress. Below are some of the practices we have found most helpful.

1.      Self-Care. Nutritious food, quality sleep, exercise, rest, play, and time spent in connection with friends, family, and nature. This also includes being mindful about our media consumption. Like the food we eat, the media we consume has a big impact on our mood and outlook. When we prioritize the basics of good self-care, we have a greater capacity to be present with others.

 

2.      Holding the “and.” Brittiney George highlighted the importance of holding the “and,” that bridge between the anguish and the joy, the hate and the love. She spoke about how important it is to let them co-exist. Biologically, we are hard wired for survival.  That means we are set up to pay more attention to what is wrong. However, if we only let ourselves register what feels bad and don’t allow ourselves to also feel what feels good, we will be stuck in that fight-or-flight fear reaction and miss out on all the gifts life has to offer. Brittiney describes the “and” as “the color in the black and white world, the 64 crayon box with the sharpener in the back.” During times of acute distress, personally or globally, we may only see darkness. We may have to look harder for the color, for the goodness.

3.      Be present with our emotions. Jen Perry shared wisdom from Gabor Maté who states that one of the needs of humans as they are developing is the space to feel the full range of human emotions fully. Unfortunately, most of us are not given this space. As a result, we become fearful of our feelings and of other people’s feelings. When someone is expressing strong emotion we view it as a problem to fix, instead of an experience to experience. Efforts to silence our emotions can manifest in our bodies, in the form of headaches, pain, fatigue, and agitation. If we could feel safe to feel ours and others’ emotions fully, we could accompany each other on this journey with compassion instead of exhaustion. As we feel safe and soften, allowing ourselves to ride the wave of emotion, it is a wave: it rises, crescendos, falls again. By being present with whatever feelings arise within us, without working to stop that flow, we find a new freedom, a release, a relief, a freer inhale and exhale. Jack Kornfield in A Path with Heart writes: “What we find as we listen to the songs of our rage or fear, loneliness or longing, is that they do not stay forever. Rage turns into sorrow; sorrow turns into tears; tears may fall for a long time, but then the sun comes out. A memory of old loss sings to us; our body shakes and relives the moment of loss; then the armoring around that loss gradually softens; and in the midst of the song of tremendous grieving, the pain of that loss finally finds release.”

 

4.      One moment at a time. Resiliency Center practitioner Therese Daniels shares, “Thinking about how to help the whole world is extremely overwhelming and not possible. One moment, one person, one situation at a time. That’s what is possible. One small thing can create ripples that affect so many people. We can show up for ourselves and our people. Spread love, show love. If we think small, bigger things will happen, eventually.”

5.      Boundaries. Brittiney George reminds us that when we truly honor our needs and energy, our ability to be with, sit with, and hold space for others increases . Our ability to experience gratitude and joy does too. Begin by asking ourselves, “What do I have the capacity for that is sustainable for me?” Listen to the answer that arises. Honor that boundary.

6.      Connect to the goodness in humanity. Focus on acts of kindness. Read stories of heroism that emerge. We were moved by the story of the mothers in Poland leaving strollers at the train station for all the mothers arriving from Ukraine, the firefighters in New Jersey gathering firefighting uniforms, hats, and boots to send overseas, and the reporters risking their lives to tell the truth.

7.      Care, not Carry. It is also important to remember that while we can care deeply, we don’t have to carry what we care about. We can be with others without feeling responsible for them.

8.      Gratitude. We can find gratitude for the goodness in our own lives. And for life itself. Elizabeth Venart posted a daily gratitude post on Facebook for eighteen months. Some days featured seemingly trivial posts (catching that green arrow at the traffic light) while other days yielded more profound observations (reflecting on the kindness of a stranger, the beauty in nature, and the wisdom of a child). It not only helped improve her own outlook, but others responded that it uplifted their days as well. Seeing the old posts pop up on her Newsfeed still brings a smile. Of course, there is no need to make your reflections public. Keeping a daily gratitude journal of one to five things for which you are grateful can help shift your perspective and improve our mood. You could also experiment with writing down the positives from the day – moments of beauty, kind words spoken, favorite funny moments, a great line from a book you read, anything that uplifts or inspires. And why not include what you are looking forward to tomorrow? When we look for positives, we are likely to see more positives. What we garden (and water) grows.

Protecting Your Creative Spirit

by Rachel Kobin

Just as setting up healthy interpersonal boundaries is an important part of taking care of yourself, so is having clarity around how you want to share your creative output. Writing is my area of expertise, so I’ll focus there, but the issues I’ll briefly discuss are equally applicable to the visual arts.

First, let’s illustrate the distinction between making art and performance: making art can be purely personal, such as journaling, while as with a performative art, an audience is invited to hear the work read aloud or it is read on the page. Understandably, sharing new work makes writers (and artists) feel vulnerable—they’ve just poured a part of themselves onto a piece of paper. This is why, if a writer chooses to invite someone to read their work, they need to be clear about what kind of feedback they need and want to receive.

In the Tuesday-night workshops I lead, participants learn how to respond to newborn writing without making any negative comments. This is because the writing is done during workshop time, and no one has had a chance to edit their work. Even when writers bring in pages they’ve polished outside of workshop for us to “critique,” we begin by talking about everything we liked about the work, and we point to specific sentences, sections, or events in the piece that we enjoyed. Then, we move into answering questions like “What did we find confusing?” or “Which parts stood out as not as strong as the sections we liked so much?” The members of the workshop are asked again, to be specific, to point out actual examples in the text rather than make sweeping statements like, “I just don’t like romance stories,” because a comment like that will not help the writer of a romance to make their story even better. Most importantly, the discussion concludes by returning to what we liked about the work, again, which allows the writer to go home feeling good about continuing to work on their draft.

Similarly, it’s important to refrain from judging the content. For instance, the writer may hold an entirely different opinion than the reader does about a very controversial topic. The job of the reader providing feedback isn’t to argue with the writer’s perspective, but to help the writer make the most cogent possible argument supporting their point of view.

After eight years of leading workshops, I can testify to the number of times we’ve all laughed about how hard it is to show our work to friends, family, and romantic partners. The truth is that non-writers aren’t as interested, or they may feel they don’t “have what it takes,” to respond, which is why finding a group of other writers is so valuable. However, reassuring the reader that you value their gut reactions may help, and it also helps to give them specific guidelines such as those I outlined above. Timing is important; no one likes being ambushed. If you present your writing, give the other person the time and space they need to read your work and get back to you, but be clear about how and when you’d like to receive the feedback.

Most of all, create as if no one will ever see what you’re making. Decide later how, when and with whom you’d like to share, but if anything or anyone begins to shut you down in any way, step away and find the support you need.

Rachel Kobin is the director of the Philadelphia Writers Workshop. Rachel uses the Amherst Writers & Artists™ method to create a supportive, collaborative setting for writers of all backgrounds. The workshop allows beginners to explore their unique voice, and provides experienced writers a forum where they can further develop their craft. For more information www.phillywriters.com or email rachel@phillywriters.com.

Boundaries Are Essential Self-Care

by Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC

Boundaries are a natural part of life and relationships. There are physical boundaries like our skin and personal space, boundaries on our time, financial boundaries, interpersonal boundaries. Dr. Brené Brown simply defines boundaries as what’s ok and what’s not ok ~  “Yes” and “No.” Being aware of and becoming skillful at communicating clearly our boundaries is well worth the effort and can save us from much stress and bewilderment in our relationships.

Unfortunately, most of us are not taught to be thoughtful and communicative about our boundaries, nor aware and respectful of others’ boundaries. Boundaries seem to be largely taken for granted, and this is fine when things are going smoothly. There is an underlying assumption that we should know other people’s boundaries and they should know ours (mind-reading, anyone?). However, when an unspoken boundary has been breached, there is usually an emotional flare that alerts us to the need to speak up and assert a boundary. This can be difficult if we are not trained to think of boundaries in this way ~ as something that we need to maintain and make others aware of. Instead, we often get upset that others don’t know our boundaries and don’t observe them. As Dr. Brown says, we believe that “people are sucking on purpose just to piss us off.” There is another way.  What if we assume that people have a low awareness of boundaries in general - and that, therefore, it is up to us to firmly let others know what’s okay and what’s not okay? And what if we also assume that we may not know their boundaries either - not until they tell us. Whew ~ can you feel the generosity of spirit in that? That people, us included, are generally doing the best they can, and a lack of clarity about boundaries (not bad intentions)  may be at the root of much misunderstanding.

The ability to know and state our boundaries clearly is an essential part of taking care of ourselves and lowering our stress levels. Instead of getting all muddled in the emotional fallout and confusion interpersonally, we can assert and observe our stated boundary. It clarifies things, takes away the complicated guessing and shadow-boxing we get ourselves into when things are unclear and bewildering. Essentially, our boundaries take care of us. Being able to clearly and without guilt assert our boundaries can drastically lower our stress levels.

A word about guilt in this situation. We desperately need a new word in the English language. For example, let’s say my mother really, really wants me to attend a family reunion. Something happened and communication faltered somewhere and I promised my kids and husband that we would go out of town that same weekend. Someone is going to be let down. There is a space/time/energy/can’t-be-two-places-at-once boundary at play here. Ugh, but I. Feel. So. Guilty. “Guilty” is the word commonly used in this situation. I haven’t done anything wrong. I have not done something for which guilt is appropriate. The word we need is more about the feeling we get when we disappoint someone because we we are constrained by a personal boundary. In this case, I want to follow through on what I promised my kids and I need to let my mom down. If I am afraid to tell my mom (or friend, sister, co-worker, etc) because I feel guilty and am confused about and unskilled at communicating boundaries, it leaves so much room for confusion and stress. If I’m avoiding the situation, my mom will start wondering why I won’t answer her calls, let her know when I’m coming, or tell her if I’ll bring the broccoli salad. She will start to get irritated. I’ll get irritated too: “Doesn’t she know I’m busy and overwhelmed?” No, actually, she isn’t thinking about that. She can’t read my mind, and I’m being sketchy because I’m avoiding feeling guilty and letting her down. Instead, I could offer her empathy and sit in the discomfort of disappointing her. I could let her know my boundary. Accepting that boundaries are a normal and natural part of life relieves us ~ not of our obligation to communicate early and often, but of feeling guilty and confused and bewildered by our own boundaries and others’.

Some thoughts about how to increase your skillfulness around sensing and communicating your boundaries clearly:

Seek your truth so you can speak your truth: Check in with yourself, get a sense moment to moment of what is okay with you and what’s not okay. What does your inner compass say? Yes? No? Remember, many (not all) boundaries are fluid and flexible. Sometimes we need to live our way into answers about our boundaries ~ it is important to continue to ask ourselves what is alive for us in the moment as we are figuring out our boundaries. Ask for time if you need it as you are figuring out what works for you and what doesn’t. Dare to ask yourself, “What do I truly want to do in this situation?”

Assume that the other person is doing the best they can. They most likely have a low awareness of your boundaries and other constraints on your energy and time. Remind yourself that boundaries are a natural and normal part of life and you, too, are doing the best you can. Remember we need a new word ~ it is normal and okay for our boundaries to disappoint others sometimes. We can offer empathy for this without resentment, guilt, or beating ourselves up.

Try your best to separate the boundary from your feelings about it. This can be a little tricky to understand. An emotion, particularly a strong, negative emotion is often a signal, a flare, that a boundary needs to be stated and maintained. Take care of your feelings separately from maintaining and communicating about your boundary. They are two separate things. Accept the fact that in our society humans are pretty confused about boundaries in general, violations will happen, and clear, consistent reminders may be necessary.

Kindly but firmly state your boundaries. Repeat as necessary.

Please keep in mind that this article focused on addressing boundaries between people on the level of preferences and negotiating things like time, energy, and other finite resources that are a part of everyday living - NOT on instances that are abusive or toxic. Boundary violations that are harmful or hurtful need to be dealt with far more strongly to ensure safety. Please reach out if you are experiencing more complex and toxic boundary violations. Your safety is essential.

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for over 18 years. She specializes in helping highly sensitive people thrive in love, work, and parenting highly sensitive children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. She can be reached at jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com  or 215-292-5056. Learn more at www.heartfulnessconsulting.com.

Burglar Proofing Your Home

Burglar Proofing Your Home:  Benefits of Emotional Boundaries

By Brittiney George, BS, CRS, ICI, CEIM

Most of us have learned to burglar proof our home.  We lock our doors when we leave, close the windows, and we don’t invite random strangers off the street to come in and rummage through our possessions.  But what about your emotional home, your personal space?  How often do you feel that someone has invaded your space and hijacked your emotions?  All of us have friends, co-workers, or family members that may be invaders.  They break in and take up space and create emotional havoc in our lives.  People that after a conversation leave feeling better, while you’re left feeling robbed.  You can’t always avoid them, and it may not be possible to cut them out of your life, but you can learn to protect your space in their presence.

We often mistake being vulnerable for being open or authentic.  Being authentic doesn’t mean that everyone gets a free pass to all of you.  It means being aware of the environment you’re in and the people you’re with, and choosing what or how much of your story you share.  Your story, YOU, should be honored.  Someone that does not honor you should not get a free pass to go mucking about in your emotional home.  So what do you do?  Start by creating clear personal boundaries.  When you don’t have clear boundaries you can feel walked over, twisted up, bent out of shape, powerless, paralyzed, bruised, or always on guard (in other words, you carry the world in your body and with it a lot tension and stress!).  It can literally be a painful existence.  When you have clear boundaries, others know how to be in relationship with you.  They might not like it, they may not always agree with you, but they know what to expect and therefore how to move with you.  

One of my favorite quotes is: 

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”-Mahatma Gandhi

I love this quote because you wouldn’t let someone walk in your house with dirty feet, and yet so often we let our experience with another person walk through our minds leaving a trail of mess behind them for us to clean up.  It’s important to protect your space and create emotional boundaries so that your home doesn’t get pillaged.  How do you do that?  Below are some practical tools from some of The Resiliency Center Practitioners to help protect your personal space before going into a stressful environment or as a means to take care of yourself if you feel like your space has been invaded:

Burglar Proofing Tools:  Tools To Protect Your Space Prior To Or During Conflict.

• Essential Oils:  Our sense of smell can be a great grounding tool.  Essential Oils and blends can help support relaxation and grounding.  A practitioner favorite:   “boundaries in a bottle” from Dori Midnight’s apothecary [Insert link: http://www.dorilandia.com/html/apothecary.html]. (Courtesy Elizabeth Venart)

• Visualize Boundaries Exercise: Take a comfortable seat and deeply breathe in and out.  Notice your feet on the floor, and how your body feels.  Begin to imagine that your boundaries had physical qualities.  Maybe it's a big bubble, or maybe a brick wall.  Notice what it feels like to experience your boundaries.  Now begin to imagine yourself at your most comfortable space.  Notice if your boundaries shift at all.  Imagine yourself at school or work.  Notice if your boundaries change in that environment.  Imagine that anyone else's negativity or emotions coming towards you are immediately deflected by your boundary.  Bring yourself back to the present moment, again noticing if your boundaries shift. Notice how your body feels and if any emotions have come up during this exercise.  Slowly blink your eyes open and begin to notice things you see around you.  Practice makes perfect with visualization of boundaries.  The more that you practice this exercise, the easier it is to increase your boundaries when you need more protection.  (Courtesy Elizabeth Campbell)

• Focused Breath and Imagery:  “During conflict, it is common to hold your breath or, especially if you are highly sensitive, to mirror the breathing pattern of the person with whom you are having a conflict. By returning to your own breath and deepening it, you can soothe and calm your nervous system and remind yourself you’re okay. If you feel your energetic space is being encroached upon in a conflict, take deep breaths and in the exhale, imagine your breath carrying you further away from the person to give you more space.” (Courtesy of Elizabeth Venart)

Tools For After A Difficult Encounter:

• Shake Off The Stress: Small rhythmic movement help ease muscles and the nervous system.  Shake out your hands, your shoulders, your hips, your legs, and your feet.  Let your whole body shake and shimmy and let out your breathe in a big sigh.  Imagine the negative energy shaking right off your body and getting soaked up by the ground.  (Courtesy Brittiney George)

• Rinse Off The Stress:  Water is a great energy conductor.  Run water over your arms and hands.  Imagine that you’re peeling an energetic glove off from your elbow to your fingertips and letting the negative energy or anxiety run right down the drain.  This is a great exercise to do in the shower.  Imagine that you’re washing of the anxiety or stress and letting it all run down the drain. (Courtesy Brittiney George)

• Ton glen Meditation:  Breath in how you are feeling-whatever the emotion is without judgement or analyzing.  Breathe out love.  Repeat for 5-20min. (Courtesy Jen Perry)

• Releasing the Judgement Meditation:  Breath in love. Breath out all of the could haves, should haves, and would haves that no longer serve you.  Repeat mantra as needed. (Tama Kieves Breath Meditation-Courtesy Brittiney George)

• Visual Laying Your Burdens Down:  “To begin, sit with your eyes closed and envision an all-powerful, supremely comforting being in whatever form that takes for you, standing at the end of a road. See yourself carrying a large sack, box, or other container, imagining that all your worries are inside it. Watch as you make your way to the being of your choice, and lay your baggage down at their feet. Allow yourself to feel the lightness and relief of this action, express your gratitude, and surrender. You will be amazed by how this simple meditation can liberate you from a burden you were never meant to carry.” - (Excerpt from Daily OM-Laying Our Burdens Down-Courtesy Karen Steinbrecher)

• Play:  People often underestimate the power of play and recreation.  Find a way to participate in an enjoyable experience.  It releases pent up energy and allows you to reconnect. (Courtesy Tracey Smith)

• Walk Barefoot in Nature:  The earth is naturally grounding. Take off your shoes and connect to the earth.  As you stand or walk, imagine giving the burden or the energetic charge you are feeling from the exchange to the earth. (Courtesy Jen Perry)

• Music:  Music is a great way to shift your energy. It not only lets you get out stress and anxiety vocally, but can help to move stuck energy in the body.  Sing in your car; sing in your shower, sing anywhere you’re comfortable.  It doesn’t have to sound pretty or even melodic, just put on your favorite song and let yourself sing!

Brittiney George, BS, CRS, ICI, CEIM, is a Movement Practitioner offering Rubenfeld Synergy, and gentle, exploratory movement classes at The Resiliency Center.  She also co-leads Connection, Expression and Movement (CEM), a monthly workshop series focusing on body-mind integration. Brittiney helps her clients find their ground again when they feel thrown by life by tapping the wisdom of their bodies so they can live from their heart, speak their truth, reduce stress, and create new patterns of movement and choice in their life.  For a complimentary 55 min. Rubenfeld session contact Brittiney at 610-389-7866 or lifeimitatingheart@gmail.com.