Travel as a Restorative and Transformative Experience

by Barbra Danin, LMFT

As summer ends and we continue to return to life pre-pandemic, the busy lives we led may feel different to us and some of the effects of lockdown may be more and more apparent.  One aspect of life that changed dramatically was the amount and type of stimulation we experienced.  Most activities, gatherings, and cultural and social events ceased to occur, and we had little opportunity to engage in novel experiences.

The effects of under-stimulation, lack of physical exercise, social interaction and novel experiences have been studied extensively, particularly among inmates from prison populations who have spent time in solitary confinement.  The extreme deprivation can lead to various mental and behavioral challenges, social anxiety, and cognitive impairment.  The effects of less extreme sensory-reduction, however, are less clearly understood, though we do know that for many, boredom and lack of activity can create depression, mood swings, and apathy. 

In May 2021, the New York Times published an article by Adam Grant on “languishing”.  He defined it as having a sense of emptiness and stagnation, a “failure to thrive”…….it feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield.”

In the article, Grant suggested that languishing may be the most widely held experience of 2021, and that many may not be fully aware of this disposition. Of concern is the prediction that individuals who “languish” are at an increased risk for other mental health issues in the future. However, by identifying the feeling and addressing the symptoms, it’s possible to shift our state of mind.  One extremely beneficial strategy is to engage in novel, interesting and stimulating activities. 

As summer ends and we continue to return to life pre-pandemic, the busy lives we led may feel different to us and some of the effects of lockdown may be more and more apparent.  One aspect of life that changed dramatically was the amount and type of stimulation we experienced.  Most activities, gatherings, and cultural and social events ceased to occur, and we had little opportunity to engage in novel experiences.

The effects of under-stimulation, lack of physical exercise, social interaction and novel experiences have been studied extensively, particularly among inmates from prison populations who have spent time in solitary confinement.  The extreme deprivation can lead to various mental and behavioral challenges, social anxiety, and cognitive impairment.  The effects of less extreme sensory-reduction, however, are less clearly understood, though we do know that for many, boredom and lack of activity can create depression, mood swings, and apathy. 

In May 2021, the New York Times published an article by Adam Grant on “languishing”.  He defined it as having a sense of emptiness and stagnation, a “failure to thrive”…….it feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield.”

In the article, Grant suggested that languishing may be the most widely held experience of 2021, and that many may not be fully aware of this disposition. Of concern is the prediction that individuals who “languish” are at an increased risk for other mental health issues in the future. However, by identifying the feeling and addressing the symptoms, it’s possible to shift our state of mind.  One extremely beneficial strategy is to engage in novel, interesting and stimulating activities. 

For many reasons, travel is an activity that has the potential to improve our overall well-being. In her blog for the World Travel & Tourism Council, Tiffany Misrahi cites several ways in which travel can be beneficial:

1.     Travel gives you opportunities to try new things and meet new people, helping you combat monotony. Travel connects people and provides opportunities to learn about new and different cultures, which can help increase your empathy towards others.

2.     Activities, like walking, hiking, and skiing, in scenic areas can help you become more hopeful. A 2020 study found that people who were consciously aware of the vistas and objects around them on a walk reported being more hopeful and upbeat than other walkers.

3.     Travel is great for relieving stress and improving your general outlook on life. According to a 2013 study with people aged 25 to 70+, 80% of respondents said travel improves their general mood and outlook on life with 75% of respondents also saying travel helps them reduce stress.

4.     Travel helps your brain function better and boosts creativity. Immersing yourself in new cultures increases your mind’s ability to move between different ideas, think more deeply, and integrate thoughts. “Foreign experiences increase both cognitive flexibility and depth and integrativeness of thought,” says Adam Galinsky, a professor and author of numerous studies on the connection between creativity and international travel.

5.     Time away from work can increase your energy and productivity at work. A Harvard Business Review study of over 400 travelers found that 94% of respondents had as much or more energy after coming back from a good trip.

6.     A wellness trip can contribute to stronger mental health. On a wellness retreat focused on practices like yoga, meditation, and mindfulness, you can learn skills that you can bring home to help you keep up a regular wellness routine.

7.     Doing something you enjoy makes you happy. Pull out that bucket list and see what you still need to check off. By doing something you enjoy, you perform necessary self-care and contribute to your own happiness.

8.     Traveling with loved ones helps meet your needs for love and belonging. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs identifies love and belonging as key psychological human needs. Sharing your amazing travel adventures with loved ones helps enhance your connection with them while intensifying feelings of love, belonging, and fulfilment.

Although summer is typically the time for vacationing, it is possible to travel and to engage in novel activities all throughout the year.  Travel can include a day trip to a nearby destination, a weekend getaway, or an extended get away.  Although international travel remains limited, there are numerous destinations throughout the northeast that are easily accessible by car, train or bus.  Numerous websites such as Trip Advisor and the American Auto Club offer information on travel destinations, accommodations, dining options and things to do. 

The possibilities are endless!

Barbra Danin, MA, LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Clinical Art Therapist, and Certified EMDR Therapist.  She provides individual, couples, and family therapy.  Her specialties include treating children with anxiety, trauma, and behavioral issues – and empowering parents with concrete tools for lasting change. Learn more at https://theresiliencycenter.com/practitioner/barbradanin/ and www.barbradanin.com. Contact her at (314) 477-8585 or barbradanin@barbradanin.com.

Wellness for Caregiver’s Stress - Release Relax, Rejuvenate

by Tracey A. Smith, M.Ed. CTRS

What do you do for you? How do you keep your vitality, balance and wellbeing while caregiving?  How do you balance your home, work, relationships and play? How do we deepen our sense of wellbeing and resiliency under an accumulation of stress? In a fast paced society, self-care is often not supported.

Caregivers have the responsibility of caring for another person’s wellbeing. This includes parents, teachers, therapists, clergy, medical professionals, and middle-aged children caring for elderly parents. As caregivers, it is essential to take the characteristics of Care and Giving and use it for our own self-care, for the role of caregiver includes some level of exposure to stress, compassionate fatigue, and traumatic experience on a daily basis.

Compassion fatigue is a process of cumulative exhaustion and the gradual erosion of our ability to care, brought about by the intense demands of caregiving without adequate balance and self-care. Stress affects the mind, body, and spirit. Every person’s stress and levels of burden are unique. How one copes with the symptoms of stress may vary.

Current and ongoing societal stressors can compound the life stress of the caregiver. These stressors can include experiences with racial and gender discrimination, stories of homelessness and violence, natural disasters, and widespread political unrest. Unaddressed, mounting stress can give way to feelings of hopelessness and decreased self-esteem, even leading to withdrawal from friends and family and those communities that help buffer us from burnout.

Dean Solon’s poem Here and Now speaks to the climate of stress during our current times. Encouraged by his perspective, here is an excerpt that I found particularly helpful.

be open to be allowing yourself to be encountering and engaging with these interesting times

be with attention and intention to be living with clarity and loving kindness

it is not time to be shutting down

this is the time to be opening to all that is

with mindfulness and heart fullness

There is hope. Wellness is a choice with the personal responsibility to address our stress. We can make a choice to practice loving kindness with ourselves. Healing and transforming stress and maintaining fitness of the mind, body and spirit involves lifelong learning. The better we take care of ourselves, the better we can care for others. How can we do this?

·      Reconnecting to ourselves and give attention to our well-being.

·      Increasing self-esteem with mindful self-care.

·      Recognizing that attention to self-care is not selfish.

·      Engaging in awareness of the present moment.

The three “R’s for caregiver stress are Release, Relax and Rejuvenate.

RELEASE feelings of guilt, fear and shame. Sometimes we think that we are the only provider of care for a person and may be unable to recognize the resources that are available, reluctant to use existing supports, or in need of new support systems. We may believe, “No one else can do it like me.” And maybe they can’t. But it is still essential that we step away to care for ourselves.  We can learn to allow another caregiver or professional to cover our duties or client while we caring for ourselves. We can begin to learn to combat these fears with our own spiritual fortitude and resilience. Healing Hints - Spend time doing enjoyable leisure and cultural activities, meditating, and participating in the expressive arts.

RELAX and begin to experience the art of doing nothing. Taking the time to learn mindful techniques to quiet mental chatter. It has been said that Mother Theresa took time off from caregiving for 4-5 years in-between service assignements to relax and allow time for healing.

Healing Hints – Create self-made retreats, practice affirmations, spend time with friends who make you laugh, play and have fun.

REJUVENATE movement, exercise, mind, body, spirit energy work can increase our vitality and well-being. Stress and compassionate fatigue have a way of settling in our body and cells. It is imperative to make time for fitness of our bodies.

Healing Hints - walking, pilates, reiki, dancing, sport activity.

Tracey A. Smith, M.Ed., CTRS, Owner Wellness W.R.K.S. LLC (well-being, recreation, knowledge, spirituality), is a Wellness Lifestyle Management Educator, Trainer, Certified Recreational Therapist. What I love about my life practice is the opportunity to serve a variety of populations and participants in an enjoyable fashion.  I provide workshops, trainings, and professional staff development. I create an atmosphere where participants can feel safe to explore their own issues of self-care and lifestyle management, while learning alternative ways of healing. I use Wellness Education and Recreational Therapy balanced with Restorative Practices to promote emotional, physical, mental, spiritual health and wellbeing. I am committed to promoting peaceable communities. To learn more and to schedule a program for your group, visit Tracey’s website [Insert link to: www.wellnesswrksllc.com], Facebook page [Insert link to contact Tracey at https://www.facebook.com/WellnessWRKSLLC/ ] or call her at 215-605-3221.

Burglar Proofing Your Home

Burglar Proofing Your Home:  Benefits of Emotional Boundaries

By Brittiney George, BS, CRS, ICI, CEIM

Most of us have learned to burglar proof our home.  We lock our doors when we leave, close the windows, and we don’t invite random strangers off the street to come in and rummage through our possessions.  But what about your emotional home, your personal space?  How often do you feel that someone has invaded your space and hijacked your emotions?  All of us have friends, co-workers, or family members that may be invaders.  They break in and take up space and create emotional havoc in our lives.  People that after a conversation leave feeling better, while you’re left feeling robbed.  You can’t always avoid them, and it may not be possible to cut them out of your life, but you can learn to protect your space in their presence.

We often mistake being vulnerable for being open or authentic.  Being authentic doesn’t mean that everyone gets a free pass to all of you.  It means being aware of the environment you’re in and the people you’re with, and choosing what or how much of your story you share.  Your story, YOU, should be honored.  Someone that does not honor you should not get a free pass to go mucking about in your emotional home.  So what do you do?  Start by creating clear personal boundaries.  When you don’t have clear boundaries you can feel walked over, twisted up, bent out of shape, powerless, paralyzed, bruised, or always on guard (in other words, you carry the world in your body and with it a lot tension and stress!).  It can literally be a painful existence.  When you have clear boundaries, others know how to be in relationship with you.  They might not like it, they may not always agree with you, but they know what to expect and therefore how to move with you.  

One of my favorite quotes is: 

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”-Mahatma Gandhi

I love this quote because you wouldn’t let someone walk in your house with dirty feet, and yet so often we let our experience with another person walk through our minds leaving a trail of mess behind them for us to clean up.  It’s important to protect your space and create emotional boundaries so that your home doesn’t get pillaged.  How do you do that?  Below are some practical tools from some of The Resiliency Center Practitioners to help protect your personal space before going into a stressful environment or as a means to take care of yourself if you feel like your space has been invaded:

Burglar Proofing Tools:  Tools To Protect Your Space Prior To Or During Conflict.

• Essential Oils:  Our sense of smell can be a great grounding tool.  Essential Oils and blends can help support relaxation and grounding.  A practitioner favorite:   “boundaries in a bottle” from Dori Midnight’s apothecary [Insert link: http://www.dorilandia.com/html/apothecary.html]. (Courtesy Elizabeth Venart)

• Visualize Boundaries Exercise: Take a comfortable seat and deeply breathe in and out.  Notice your feet on the floor, and how your body feels.  Begin to imagine that your boundaries had physical qualities.  Maybe it's a big bubble, or maybe a brick wall.  Notice what it feels like to experience your boundaries.  Now begin to imagine yourself at your most comfortable space.  Notice if your boundaries shift at all.  Imagine yourself at school or work.  Notice if your boundaries change in that environment.  Imagine that anyone else's negativity or emotions coming towards you are immediately deflected by your boundary.  Bring yourself back to the present moment, again noticing if your boundaries shift. Notice how your body feels and if any emotions have come up during this exercise.  Slowly blink your eyes open and begin to notice things you see around you.  Practice makes perfect with visualization of boundaries.  The more that you practice this exercise, the easier it is to increase your boundaries when you need more protection.  (Courtesy Elizabeth Campbell)

• Focused Breath and Imagery:  “During conflict, it is common to hold your breath or, especially if you are highly sensitive, to mirror the breathing pattern of the person with whom you are having a conflict. By returning to your own breath and deepening it, you can soothe and calm your nervous system and remind yourself you’re okay. If you feel your energetic space is being encroached upon in a conflict, take deep breaths and in the exhale, imagine your breath carrying you further away from the person to give you more space.” (Courtesy of Elizabeth Venart)

Tools For After A Difficult Encounter:

• Shake Off The Stress: Small rhythmic movement help ease muscles and the nervous system.  Shake out your hands, your shoulders, your hips, your legs, and your feet.  Let your whole body shake and shimmy and let out your breathe in a big sigh.  Imagine the negative energy shaking right off your body and getting soaked up by the ground.  (Courtesy Brittiney George)

• Rinse Off The Stress:  Water is a great energy conductor.  Run water over your arms and hands.  Imagine that you’re peeling an energetic glove off from your elbow to your fingertips and letting the negative energy or anxiety run right down the drain.  This is a great exercise to do in the shower.  Imagine that you’re washing of the anxiety or stress and letting it all run down the drain. (Courtesy Brittiney George)

• Ton glen Meditation:  Breath in how you are feeling-whatever the emotion is without judgement or analyzing.  Breathe out love.  Repeat for 5-20min. (Courtesy Jen Perry)

• Releasing the Judgement Meditation:  Breath in love. Breath out all of the could haves, should haves, and would haves that no longer serve you.  Repeat mantra as needed. (Tama Kieves Breath Meditation-Courtesy Brittiney George)

• Visual Laying Your Burdens Down:  “To begin, sit with your eyes closed and envision an all-powerful, supremely comforting being in whatever form that takes for you, standing at the end of a road. See yourself carrying a large sack, box, or other container, imagining that all your worries are inside it. Watch as you make your way to the being of your choice, and lay your baggage down at their feet. Allow yourself to feel the lightness and relief of this action, express your gratitude, and surrender. You will be amazed by how this simple meditation can liberate you from a burden you were never meant to carry.” - (Excerpt from Daily OM-Laying Our Burdens Down-Courtesy Karen Steinbrecher)

• Play:  People often underestimate the power of play and recreation.  Find a way to participate in an enjoyable experience.  It releases pent up energy and allows you to reconnect. (Courtesy Tracey Smith)

• Walk Barefoot in Nature:  The earth is naturally grounding. Take off your shoes and connect to the earth.  As you stand or walk, imagine giving the burden or the energetic charge you are feeling from the exchange to the earth. (Courtesy Jen Perry)

• Music:  Music is a great way to shift your energy. It not only lets you get out stress and anxiety vocally, but can help to move stuck energy in the body.  Sing in your car; sing in your shower, sing anywhere you’re comfortable.  It doesn’t have to sound pretty or even melodic, just put on your favorite song and let yourself sing!

Brittiney George, BS, CRS, ICI, CEIM, is a Movement Practitioner offering Rubenfeld Synergy, and gentle, exploratory movement classes at The Resiliency Center.  She also co-leads Connection, Expression and Movement (CEM), a monthly workshop series focusing on body-mind integration. Brittiney helps her clients find their ground again when they feel thrown by life by tapping the wisdom of their bodies so they can live from their heart, speak their truth, reduce stress, and create new patterns of movement and choice in their life.  For a complimentary 55 min. Rubenfeld session contact Brittiney at 610-389-7866 or lifeimitatingheart@gmail.com.

A Five-Minute Stress-Reducing and Mindfulness Technique for Parents

by Kathleen Krol, LCSW RPT-S

Do you find yourself rushing home from work to pick up your child from aftercare or your teen from after school sports practice? Are evenings or weekends spent juggling between one child being dropped off at soccer practice and the other being picked up from dance class? If not hustling to get a child somewhere, then it may be juggling two jobs or running multiple errands. We all know the feeling of being pressured and stressed.

I found a technique that helps me, as I am leaving my house, driving in the car or before opening the door to something new. It helps me by focusing my attention on what I am about to do and check with myself to see if I am carrying stress in my body or mind. I call it "Five Senses." I take 5 minutes as I am moving or driving to be aware of my environment by using my five senses. I ask myself, what do I see around me? What do I hear? What do I smell? What do I taste or feel in my mouth? And what do I feel? If I am driving, am I clenching the steering wheel and if so, can I relax my grip? If walking, I might notice that my body is moving fast and my chest is tight. I pause and take a couple deep breaths.

As I transition to another activity, I do so consciously. I tell myself to be aware, that I am here and I can relax now. This technique might not eliminate all stress, but it does remind me to bring my attention to what is currently happening. It refocuses a distracted or racing mind and reminds me that I do have the ability to slow myself down and breathe rather than remaining on automatic pilot.