Readjusting to Socializing

by Carolyn Abele, MS, LPC

Coming out of a pandemic has been one of the most challenging transitions I have ever encountered.  I constantly hear Gloria Estefan sing, “Coming out of the dark, finally see the light now, it’s shining on meeeeeeeee” when I enter the world and interact with others.  It’s like my brain picked the post random song to somehow explain to my system what is going on.  I am finding I now need to change my social battery less frequently, and it takes longer to recover after being social. Readjusting to interacting and socializing has showed me that my energy doesn’t match the output needed, and I must adjust how I move in life.

In quarantine I found I learned to slow down and just be.  Be quiet, be content, move slow.  Now as we return to some kind of “new normal” I am finding that I am giving myself permission to say “no”.  No to the party. No to dinner in a loud, crowded restaurant. No to my kids who want to go to Target on the weekend.  I mean, Target is my place, but never on a busy weekend day.  I want to quietly stroll the aisles and get the things I need versus want.  I’ve learned a sense of calm satisfaction to get just what is needed and nothing more.  No stockpiling extras, no “just in case” snacks.  Life can be simpler.  “No, thank you”, “No, thanks that’s really not my thing”, or “Nope” come out of my mouth more freely, without guilt.  

Just a few weeks ago my whole family went to a school event.  It was loud and insane.  Ahead of time, I was feeling a little peeved knowing I would have to leave in the middle of it to take my daughter to dance class.  I anticipated that she was going to have a really hard transition, and I didn’t want the drama or to have to make her leave unwillingly.  Funny enough, I worried about something that wasn’t even an issue.  My husband and I playfully argued over who GOT to leave the party and go to ballet that night (playing taxi was typically not a desired Friday night!).  After less than thirty minutes, both of us were done, and our daughter was too.  Leaving a highly stimulating buzz of activity midstream may have been a hardship two years ago, but now? We all adjusted to a quieter life, and in the transition back to the whirlwind of before, we can feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to let it be what it is now. And let ourselves feel what we feel now. Sometimes it is too much. We don’t need to be at all the events, all of the time, for the whole time.  

I’m leaning in as my system and body tell me when enough is enough.  I give myself permission when I don’t want to do something social.  I chose events that appeal to me and to my family.  When I chose what to attend, I am almost always happy I went. I also love coming home again. I have “come out of the dark” (as Gloria Estefan reminds me), and I am much more tuned in to my internal energy and the experiences that feed and deplete me.
 
Carolyn Abele, MS, LPC works with teens and families as well as individuals.  She specializes in working with individuals with anxiety and depression, as well has helping adolescents and their families with behavior related challenges. To connect with Carolyn, please call 215-354-7941 or visit her website.

Flowing Through Winter, Practicing Dancing

By Karen Steinbrecher

Welcome to winter.   You may groan when you read this.   Smile. I write this on a rainy day. QiGong practice resonates with Traditional Chinese Medicine practice (TCM).   The TCM system recognizes 5 Seasons throughout the Year. 

We have moved through the Winter Solstice into the season called the WATER Element.

During the Winter Season, we send our energies into our roots, just as the trees do in nature. 

It is normal to sleep a bit more, to eat heavier warming food, and to build energy that can be released in Spring (the Wood element). 

Winter is a time to seek the warmth of love and friendship. 

It is a time for assessment and reflection. 

It is time to recognize the rhythm of nature and follow along.

QiGong is a tool for us to move and flow, to navigate around those obstacles.

To go with the flow of life. 

When our Qi (life energy) is blocked or stagnant, that is when we may dwell upon stress, pain and encounter problems. 

Our Qi helps us to weave through chaos (hundun) to find, even for a few minutes, that peaceful place within. 

Qi dao, Yi dao is my mantra. 

Where the Qi goes and flows, the mind goes.

Let us recognize Water as a great teacher. 

It shows us how to move through the world with grace, ease, determination and humility. 

As it flows upon the earth, the water’s journey can be a mirror of our path through life. 

Water can inspire us to not become rigid with fear or cling to what is familiar. 

Water doesn’t cling to its past, it is brave, and flows onward without looking back. 

When there is a hole to be filled, water doesn’t run away from its fear of the dark; instead water bravely, humbly fills the empty space. 

In the same way we can face the dark moments of our own life bravely, and not run from them.

Qi dao Yi dao. 

We move through life encountering many twists, turns and obstacles along the way just as a river flows.  

Karen invites you to dance and flow through a QiGong practice at the Resiliency Center, Thursdays @ 2P.M. and @ 6:20 P.M.   $10.00 for a one hour class.  Bring socks or slippers.  To register go to:  http://www.meetup.com/Resiliency-Gatherings-for-Movement-Inner-Strength-Joy/ or contact Karen at karensteinbrecher@msn.com.

A Place To Be by Dean Solon

you may be closing your eyes,
a way of turning off the lights.

now you may be seeing more clearly, more astutely.
now you may be quieter.
now you may be feeling more yourself, and may be feeling more connected.
it is lovely this may be all that is required:
a place to sit, a place to be quiet,
a place to be alive and alert and awake.

there may be many times in this life you have felt this is all you need
to be presently happy, to be happily present.

the near-silence, a gift of the gods.