Finding Your Feet After Years of Holding It Together

by Brittiney George, BS, MST, ICI, CEIM 

The body likes balance.  It likes connection.  It needs safety.  

The body is meant to move.

It will hold, brace, bend, twist, compress, or overextend until it finds the alignment required to keep it as safe as possible in whatever environment it is in.  

So, what happens to a body when movement has been taken away or the rules around movement are changed?  This happened on a global scale during the pandemic.  Our legs literally got removed from our daily life.  We were in conversations from the waist up.  We were encouraged not to connect, to move to close, or to go too far.  We were asked to be vigilant, to be on the alert, but also to shut down and not panic.  It was a strange, mixed message of movement for a body, for every-body, and I am still seeing the lingering effects in my practice. Maybe some of these observations feel familiar to you?

Pre-covid Holding Patterns: Upper body locks-people shouldered a lot. They would come in with tight necks, backs and shoulders.  The request was often to help them get their legs and feet back underneath them so they could stop shouldering so much and move more freely in their life

Covid Holding Patterns: Lower body locks.  It was almost as if standing still and holding it all together became so common that the legs, feet, and joints became locked in a rigid position.  Not being able to step out in the world created legs that were less flexible and mobile.  Relational patterns in the world began to reflect these moves as people began to move with less tolerance, flexibility, and adaptability to others.  

Current Pattern:  Head trying to find the feet again.  As the legs have come back online and shoulders are re-negotiating holding and releasing, I'm seeing feet show up in ways I've never seen.  It is as if the head and the feet are trying to figure out if they can trust each other.  The head is asking the feet-can I trust you and what you feel?  And the feet seem to be asking the head, do you even know what I am doing done here?  I’m having to negotiate new ground everywhere I go.  

If you’re trying to find your footing again in new terrain, I offer the insights below as a transitional balm for your system.

• Power of Your Hands:  your hands tell the rest of the body what move you are making (holding on, reaching for, letting go) and the rest of our body aligns accordingly.
• Power of Your Feet:  your feet let the body know the foundation you are on (shaky, sinking, solid) and are masters at adapting accordingly.
• Power of Your Nervous System:  your nervous system knows where you’ve been and where you are now and is a powerhouse in safety attunement.
• Power of Your Head:  it knows history and story, but it also knows movement.  Let it be an ally to your body and to your heart.  Together they make a powerful trifecta.

Brittiney George, BS, MST, ICI, CEIM, is a Master Somatic Therapist and Movement Practitioner specializing in Transformative Touch.  She is also the creator of the online comic www.thisweekwithjoy.com.  Her areas of specialty include working with highly sensitive persons (HSP’s), and helping people find movement when they feel stuck in life’s transitions.  Contact Brittiney at 610-389-7866 or movebackintolife@gmail.com.  

Readjusting to Socializing

by Carolyn Abele, MS, LPC

Coming out of a pandemic has been one of the most challenging transitions I have ever encountered.  I constantly hear Gloria Estefan sing, “Coming out of the dark, finally see the light now, it’s shining on meeeeeeeee” when I enter the world and interact with others.  It’s like my brain picked the post random song to somehow explain to my system what is going on.  I am finding I now need to change my social battery less frequently, and it takes longer to recover after being social. Readjusting to interacting and socializing has showed me that my energy doesn’t match the output needed, and I must adjust how I move in life.

In quarantine I found I learned to slow down and just be.  Be quiet, be content, move slow.  Now as we return to some kind of “new normal” I am finding that I am giving myself permission to say “no”.  No to the party. No to dinner in a loud, crowded restaurant. No to my kids who want to go to Target on the weekend.  I mean, Target is my place, but never on a busy weekend day.  I want to quietly stroll the aisles and get the things I need versus want.  I’ve learned a sense of calm satisfaction to get just what is needed and nothing more.  No stockpiling extras, no “just in case” snacks.  Life can be simpler.  “No, thank you”, “No, thanks that’s really not my thing”, or “Nope” come out of my mouth more freely, without guilt.  

Just a few weeks ago my whole family went to a school event.  It was loud and insane.  Ahead of time, I was feeling a little peeved knowing I would have to leave in the middle of it to take my daughter to dance class.  I anticipated that she was going to have a really hard transition, and I didn’t want the drama or to have to make her leave unwillingly.  Funny enough, I worried about something that wasn’t even an issue.  My husband and I playfully argued over who GOT to leave the party and go to ballet that night (playing taxi was typically not a desired Friday night!).  After less than thirty minutes, both of us were done, and our daughter was too.  Leaving a highly stimulating buzz of activity midstream may have been a hardship two years ago, but now? We all adjusted to a quieter life, and in the transition back to the whirlwind of before, we can feel overwhelmed. It’s okay to let it be what it is now. And let ourselves feel what we feel now. Sometimes it is too much. We don’t need to be at all the events, all of the time, for the whole time.  

I’m leaning in as my system and body tell me when enough is enough.  I give myself permission when I don’t want to do something social.  I chose events that appeal to me and to my family.  When I chose what to attend, I am almost always happy I went. I also love coming home again. I have “come out of the dark” (as Gloria Estefan reminds me), and I am much more tuned in to my internal energy and the experiences that feed and deplete me.
 
Carolyn Abele, MS, LPC works with teens and families as well as individuals.  She specializes in working with individuals with anxiety and depression, as well has helping adolescents and their families with behavior related challenges. To connect with Carolyn, please call 215-354-7941 or visit her website.

Keeping the New Year Kind: Embracing Who You Are While Supporting Your Growth

by Jen Perry

Ahhhhh, that time of year again. January. New Year. New (or old or recycled) Year Resolutions. Isn’t it funny how right in the season of over-doing, over-extending, and over-indulging we throw in resolutions to resolve to do things differently? Instead of scoffing at the ridiculousness of this observation I wonder if we can use it as an invitation to wonder and be thoughtful about it? Perhaps there is a wise message in here after all. I’d like to invite you, Dear Reader, to close your eyes for a moment with me. Breathe and get kind and curious about this yearly cycle we seem to collectively join in or outright reject. Allow yourself to wonder about it for a minute and get curious about what arises for you in that vast field of openness. Just wonder …. And if you want to, jot down any thoughts, feelings, images or sensations that arise as you allow yourself to wonder ….

What came to me first in this exercise was an image of two people in a boat. If one leans all the way to one side, the other needs to lean equally in its opposite in order not to tip over. I think our systems operate with a similar wisdom. Balance. In many cases the balancing of extremes. All or nothing, black and white, to change something about ourselves or not. There is another element to balance of course. There is a similar movement in my second image, a see-saw. In the middle, a fulcrum. A fulcrum is defined as a “thing that plays a central or essential role in an activity, event, or situation; to prop up or support.” It is also a handy tool for lifting or achieving something that seems large or impossible without its support.

Over and over again in my work in the world, I find that this balance is so very important. Whenever we set out wanting meaningful change in any way in our life, it is so much easier to achieve when we have a fulcrum of support. Metaphorically speaking, when the things we want to change are things about ourselves and our habits, a fulcrum of self-compassion and appreciation for ourselves as we are before the desired change is a powerful fulcrum of support to achieve such change. One of my favorite quotes is: Once nothing has to change, suddenly everything can. I thought this was from Alan Watts but a quick google search did not yield any results. If you know where this quote comes from, will you reach out and let me know? And as you make your new year resolutions, or even if you don’t, I wish for all of us this fulcrum of self-compassion and support at this time of the new year and always.

Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for over 18 years. She specializes in helping highly sensitive people thrive in love, work, and parenting highly sensitive children. Jen is passionate about using mindfulness and compassion-based approaches to ameliorate human suffering. She can be reached at jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com  or 215-292-5056. Learn more at www.heartfulnessconsulting.com.

Embracing the Quiet (But First...)

Embracing the Quiet (But First…)

by John Muraco

I invite you to take a look around, or better yet, take a listen. . . .What is the landscape of your SOUND environment?  Are you at work?  Are you at home or in a waiting room?  Perhaps you are reading this somewhere in nature!  Regardless of where you are, listen.  Try closing your eyes, and ‘seeing’ if you can ‘tune’ in to a new sound arrangement as your sense of hearing becomes sharper.  What sounds do you hear?  How are they entering your body? 

I have found recently, that to really ‘embrace the quiet’ it can be helpful to take inventory of our own SOUND ENVIRONMENT by becoming aware of what is generating sound around us. 

Embracing the quiet doesn’t necessarily mean finding total quiet (is that even possible?).  You can invite some quiet and stillness into your body and mind simply by altering the type of sound you are taking in.  For example, specific forms of music can help to facilitate relaxation such as listening to acoustic guitar, Himalayan singing bowls, Native American flute, or trickling water.  Try this sample and see what you think:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrx1vyvtRLY.

We all live in a dynamic sound atmosphere.  Notice your current background sounds.  Do you hear a TV, the radio, the internet, a phone ringing, kids talking (or screaming), birds chirping, cars bustling by, a kettle sounding letting you know that it’s time to be taken off the burner, the hum of a dishwasher, or something completely different?  All of these sounds enter the ears and affect the body in different ways.  As such, some of us might have to work EXTRA hard to embrace the quiet – to challenge ourselves first to reduce our noise intake in our environment, and then to bask in this new quiet!  Not an easy task when there is so little quiet to draw from in our day and age.  This makes it even more important to delegate at least a few minutes at the beginning and end of the day for stillness, and quiet.  This will allow your nervous system to calm and relax, while supporting your overall immunity and good health. If you build a solid inner foundation, you will be better able to thrive in a sometimes chaotic and noisy soundscape.  Let us know what works for you!

John Muraco, ATR, RYT, is an art therapist, registered yoga teacher, and holistic lifestyle and wellness counselor.  His work since 2000 has integrated diverse approaches to creative expression and wellness to support clients in regaining personal power and reducing stress.  John's approach to individual and group therapy for teens and adults is person-centered and customized. His holistic wellness consultation includes herbal remedies, tea blends, relaxation techniques and nutritional education. Contact John at john@heartwellhouse.com or 315-256-7767.  For more information go to www.heartwellhouse.com.

Finding Balance during the Holiday Season

 by Brittiney George

How is it possible that the holiday season can feel both energetically exhausting and exhilarating?  Both joyful and stressful?  Feel simultaneously warm and cold?  Maybe it is because the holidays ask us to do two extremely different things: (1) tap into our childhood and see the world through the eyes of a child again, and (2) continue to act like and make decisions of an adult.  This experience can shine light on parts of our lives currently – and within our childhoods – that felt extreme (good or bad).  We become consciously aware of our current life and often compare it to the life we thought we would be living or should be living right now.  In that moment our subconscious belief systems can get kicked back into high alert.  Some familiar phrases that might resurface: 

·      Get Control of Yourself

·      Get it Together

·      Keep it Together

·      Shut that Down

·      Let it go

All of these phrases indicate that something is out of balance and we are trying to figure out a way to respond to feel safe or fit in to our given environment.  There is an energetic release or movement that needs to happen to reset the scale back to even.  During different times in our life, the way we did that may have differed:

·      Tantrums:  The ultimate energy buster in a world that feels out of control, proportion, or too much (too fast, too loud, to unpredictable).  Tantrums allowed us to naturally get the extra energy/noise off our system:  If I am expected to take it all in, than I also need permission to let it all out.

·      Rebellion:  When we learned that tantrums were no longer acceptable by society or in our family, rebellion kicked in.  We still needed an energetic release, but the form of it changed.  It may have been quiet rebellion, or loud in your face rebellion, but either way it was our way of trying to gain back some control, let out some steam, or have our voice heard.  We got the message that we needed to keep it together but were still missing the staples, tape, and glue (aka support or internal resources) necessary to do that.

·      Peace:  Peace is the place where tantrums & rebellion meet and become friends.  Instead of fighting about whether we should or shouldn’t feel how we do, instead of second guessing why we feel that way when those around us don’t, it becomes knowledge.  Tantrum and Rebellion both may still be there, but they are not at war, they are sharing their knowledge about why it is upsetting, what it is throwing us off balance.  It becomes insight and space to acknowledge what we need.  In the acknowledgement of that information….even if you don’t know what to do with it…the energy can flow more easily, emotions can flow more naturally.  You are not getting shut down, tuned out, or broken into pieces by it all.  Now you have choices.  Now you can move.

So this holiday season I wish you acceptance of all of who you are so that your system can truly know balance and find its true peace:

“Peace.  It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble,

Or hard work.  It means to be in the midst of those things and still

Be calm in your heart.”-unknown

Brittiney George is a Movement Practitioner offering Rubenfeld Synergy, Infant Massage Education, and gentle, exploratory movement classes at The Resiliency Center. She co-leads Connection, Expression and Movement (CEM), a monthly workshop series focusing on body-mind integration. To learn more about her practice and services, contact her at 610-389-7866 or movebackintolife@gmail.com

Using Creativity to Effectively Manage a Crisis

by Katie K. May

“We are all broken and wounded in this world.  Some choose to grow strong at the broken places.”

~Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt

Everyone has a creative side and you don’t need to be a skilled artist to engage in the arts.  There are many ways to be creative including drawing, writing, playing an instrument, dancing, designing fashion, woodworking, knitting, cooking, coloring and painting.  Using art as an outlet helps you to put your emotional energy into creativity rather than getting stuck in difficult emotions.

In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), “Creative Outlet” is a skill that is taught to help participants manage a difficult situation or intense feeling.  DBT is a skills-based approach designed to help its participants abstain from self-destructive thoughts and behaviors, act less impulsively and improve their emotions and relationships.  For individuals who struggle with safety issues like suicidal thoughts and self-harm, DBT is the recommended treatment.

DBT is about being mindful of the balance between extremes.  In the case of using Creative Outlet, this is a crisis survival skill meant to be planned and temporary.  This means it is important to mindfully take a break from the situation that is triggering extreme emotions and use your creative outlet  to cope with distress and express difficult feelings in a healthy way.

Taking a break when you are overwhelmed with emotion will help you regroup and decompress so that you can be more effective when you approach the problem. To maintain balance, it is essential that you return to and deal with the crisis once you feel more in control of your emotions.  Trying to avoid a difficult situation forever may make it worse or create more long-term problems.  

The Creative Outlet skill is part of the Distress Tolerance module in DBT.  DBT includes four different modules including Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation and Interpersonal Effectiveness.  Beginning this September, Licensed Therapist, Katie K. May will offer a DBT Skills Group for High School Teens and a DBT Skills Group for young adults, ages 18 through 24.  See here [insert link to: http://www.creativehealingphilly.com/dbt/