Connection Practices to Create Happiness

Positive Psychology researchers found that our happiness is increased when we engage in intentional activities to increase our positive connection with others. Two connection practices are shared: Gratitude Report Card and Loving-Kindness Meditation.

Connection Practice #1: Gratitude Report Card

Instructions: Over the next week, choose one person in your life with whom you have a close relationship, preferably someone whom you see regularly. This may be a romantic partner, a close friend, a child, or a colleague at work. Each day, write down at least one thing that you appreciate about the person, or something they did for which you are thankful. These appreciations can range in size or scope, but the important thing is that you identify at least one thing each day to write down. At the end of the week, have a face-to-face conversation with this person expressing your thanks to them. Share your list with them, and express how much they mean to you and how appreciative you are to have them in your life.

Connection Practice #2: Loving-Kindness Meditation 

Instructions: Begin by sitting in a comfortable position. Sit upright and relaxed, with your hands resting on your lap. Take three steady and even breaths, and when you are ready, close your eyes.

Continue to breathe, slowly in and slowly out. Notice the feeling of the air entering through your nose, and observe how it’s slightly warmer on the way out.

Become aware of your body as you sit. Feel your body as it makes contact with the support beneath you. Feel your body resting comfortably, and notice any sensations within your body. 

When you are ready, form an image of yourself in your mind’s eye. Picture yourself as you currently sit, and feel your heart open up. Remind yourself that like anyone else, you wish to live happily and in peace. Connect fully with that intention, and feel a sense of warmth pour over you. 

Continue to picture yourself as you sit in this moment. Gently and in silence, repeat the following phrases to yourself: 
May I be safe.
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I be peaceful and at ease. 

Take your time, all the while maintaining the image of yourself in your mind’s eye. Allow the feelings of peace and tranquility to sink in, and savor the meaning of the words. 

When you notice your mind wander or your thoughts drift, simply notice this, and return to the present moment. 

When you are ready, form an image now of someone whom it is easy to feel loving kindness towards. It could be someone from the past or the present, and could be a friend, family member, or even a pet. A simple, positive relationship can work best to start with. Picture that person, and feel your heart open up to them. Remind yourself that like anyone else, you wish for them to live happily and in peace. Connect fully with that intention, and feel a sense of warmth and compassion pour over you. 

Continue to picture this loved one as you sit in this moment. Gently and in silence, repeat the following phrases to yourself: 
May you be safe.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be peaceful and at ease. 

Once more, fully allow the words to sink in, and feel your heart open up with love and compassion towards yourself and towards this other person. Take a moment to savor this moment. 

When you are ready, gently open your eyes and return to the room.

The Beauty of You: A Love Note from Your Body

by Brittiney George

 

You are a beautiful imperfection.

I know that makes you uncomfortable, because you want to be perfect.

Ahh...my child.  I do not work in perfection.

 

Perfection assumes completion.  But how can you be complete when the world around you, and in you, is full of so many glorious options for miraculous change?

 

I work in magical mysteries, in awe-inspiring moments of truth and clarity.

I commend you for wanting to better yourself.  But I ask you to try not to perfect yourself.

That implies you are flawed.

You are not flawed.

 

You are a colorful mosaic reflecting the experiences of your life.

Instead of berating yourself for all that you do not know;

Breathe. Listen. Explore with me.

 

You are more than a number on a scale, a title in a job, the pain or fear that you feel.

 

You are a gift.

If you don’t believe me, journey with me.

Let me show you how amazing and resilient you truly are.

 

Brittiney George, BS, CST-PRO, ICI, CEIM, is a Movement Practitioner and Somatic Therapist specializing in Transformative Touch and is a faculty trainer and mentor for The Somatic Therapy Center.  She is also the creator of the comic www.thisweekwithjoy.com.  Her areas of specialty include working with highly sensitive persons (HSP’s), and helping people feel unstuck when they feel bogged down by life.  For information contact Brittiney at 610-389-7866 or movebackintolife@gmail.com. 

 

When Life Throws You a Curveball

by Karen Steinbrecher

We know where we are going and what we want to do.  Then due to forces outside of our control, things don't go as we had planned and life changes – sometimes in the blink of an eye.

After helping my husband heal following a major back operation, I was feeling lighter, breathing deeply in gratitude. Then I found myself facing my own personal health crisis. And the fear returned.

My long-time QiGong practice supported me in that moment, inviting me to take a deep breath and open my mind to a new opportunity – with the knowledge that curve balls are a way of keeping us awake. Sometimes curveballs are even a gift.

Breathing in gratitude in the face of life’s curveballs is not always easy to do! This morning, as thoughts rushed through my mind and my body filled with anxiety, I returned – as I do each day – to the gentle flowing movements of QiGong. And as I began to move, flow, and stretch my body with the many movements that I practice and lead, I began to feel better.

QiGong provides us with an opportunity to release any energy that gets blocked and can stagnate in response to the stressors of life. The flowing movements send a signal to our brain, the body's repair and maintenance manager, to rebuild our joints, muscles, and tendons. QiGong exercises body, mind, and spirit and helps support an internal alchemy of balance and integration, creating our own personal medicine.

Karen Steinbrecher teaches QiGong classes at The Resiliency Center on Tuesdays at 2:30 pm and Thursdays at 6:20 pm. Cost is $10. To RSVP, contact Karen at Karensteinbrecher@msn.com  or 215-836-7184.

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Beginning a Meditation Practice Over the Holidays

by Catherine McLaughlin and Jen Perry

The holidays are a special time of year. Extra time with family and friends, invitations to parties and events, giving and receiving gifts, all that delicious food - but adding all the “extras” of the holidays to an already busy life can leave us feeling anxious and stressed. Here’s how meditation can help:

When we’re stressed, our brain’s amygdala is triggered. The amygdala houses the “fight or flight” response and is responsible for feelings of fear and anxiety. Research shows that a regular meditation practice decreases the size of the amygdala, and strengthens areas of the brain responsible for self-regulation, cognitive flexibility, planning, problem solving, emotion regulation, learning, memory, and may help to stave off depression and PTSD symptoms. So all the stress and anxiety from too much wrapping, traveling, seeing relatives, and partying can be managed through meditation.

But where should you start? Here are a few steps for beginning a meditation practice:

1. Start slow. Set your alarm for 10 minutes earlier and build meditation into your morning routine. You’ll know when it is time to increase your meditation time.

2. Be flexible. If something unexpected happens one morning and you can’t meditate, find another time during the day. Over your lunch break at work, in your car in the grocery store parking lot, before bed - any time you can squeeze in 10+ minutes of quiet.

3. Focus on the breath. When you sit quietly for the first time, you will probably notice how noisy your thoughts are. That’s okay! Notice them, like a train moving through a station or clouds floating by in the sky. The thoughts will move along, and you will return to your breath.

4. Stick with it! Sitting still with our thoughts is not easy. It may take a couple of tries to feel comfortable.

With everything going on, it may sound strange to add one more thing - but really, what’s one more line on your to-do list? And when it’s something proven to manage stress and anxiety, it may just be the perfect time to begin a meditation practice.

For more information on Catherine McLaughlin, call 267-800-5073 or visit www.cmjcounseling.com.  For more information on Jen Perry, call 215-292-5056 or visit www.heartfulnesscounseling.com. 

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Articles on Meditation:

Things to Know about Meditation at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/21/things-to-know-meditation_n_6709864.html

A Productive Life: Meditation Guide at http://alifeofproductivity.com/meditation-guide/

How the Brain Changes when you Meditate at http://www.mindful.org/how-the-brain-changes-when-you-meditate/

Self-Care for Parents

by Katie K. May, NBCC, LPC

Sometimes as parents, we think that the focus needs to always be on our children. We might think that it's selfish to take time to ourselves, or that we can't focus energy on our own well-being until our children are emotionally balanced and their behavioral issues have been addressed. These beliefs, however, are counterproductive. Modeling good self-care and finding ways to recharge your own batteries are the best tools you have to effectively help your children manage their feelings and behaviors.

Below are some ways to incorporate self-care into your daily routine. 

Breathe. Take a 30 second vacation, close your eyes and notice the way that your breath feels as it moves in and out of your body. Do not underestimate the power of your breath.

Read. Steal 20 minutes of your day to indulge in a good book. Make yourself a cup of coffee or tea and absorb the stillness around you.

Talk to a friend. Meet for a quick cup of coffee or chat on the phone on your way to picking up the kids at school. Finding ways to connect with others is what makes your life meaningful. Adult conversations help keep you grounded.

Take a bath. Light some candles, play some music and draw yourself a warm bubble bath. 

Give yourself a time out. Lie in bed in the dark, or give yourself a one hour break from the glow of a screen. Life's demands can be overwhelming, especially with the added demand of being a parent. Giving yourself permission to take a break is crucial.

Exercise. Physical activity is a great way to help you balance your emotions. Take a walk or run outside and enjoy some fresh air. Or, join a group class for the added benefit of social connections. Moving your body helps to ease stress and unlock negative emotions.

When you take care of yourself on a daily basis, you become a better parent because you're better equipped to handle life's ups and downs.  What will you do today just for you?  Share with us on The Resiliency Center's Facebook page to hold yourself accountable and inspire others!

Katie May is a teen therapist who hosts weekly groups for teens. Contact Katie at 610-813-2575 or katie@creativehealingphilly.com and visit her website [Insert link to: www.creativehealingphilly.com ] to learn more.

Tending to the Inner Landscape Seasonal Reflections by: John Muraco

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”

-Albert Camus

One true fact: We all deal with the changing seasons differently.  As it stands true with life’s challenges and changes, ups and downs, and ebb and flow, people have very unique and important ways in which they meet the changing of the seasons.  As we leave summer behind and replace the warm weather with cooler and more ‘biting air’, I become fascinated with the approaches that each one of us has toward this change.  Perhaps merely reading this article creates some angst for you as we delve more deeply into fall and the beginning of winter.  At the same time, others may be ecstatic knowing that they get to pull the sweater out of the closet and enjoy warming drinks, rich and filling foods, and more time indoors.  I wonder though, how can this become a season of understanding ourselves more deeply?  What things can we integrate into out lives to make the darker and colder seasons more inviting?  By witnessing natural landscape changes outdoors we find many clues to the changing landscape within us.  Perhaps with some noticing and a little motivation for self-care, we can begin to harmonize with the cooler seasonal change, as we say goodbye to the golden light of summer, and go inward.

This is a great time of the year to harvest all that was accomplished in the past five months.  No matter what your experience has been, allow yourself a chance for a deep breath and gratitude for arriving to your life today.  And look back on the accomplishments made. Perhaps for you, summer was fraught with challenge, change, and some discomforts.  Now is a great time to allow yourself some time each day for quiet reflection.  Consider journaling, working with collage, drawing, or whatever you choose.  Proceed without judgment, like nobody’s watching- this is your time.  It could be that your experience during the summer was one with many positive changes, a lot of time outdoors, late nights, and high energy.  Again, reflecting on all that has taken shape in the ‘lively’ months of spring and summer, and reaping the benefits of what life has delivered, can go a long way.  Winter can be your wind down period that allows for restoration.

Just like the falling leaves, our energy too can be downward and inward-moving as we transition into fall and winter.  And as we near Halloween, a holiday ripe with ghosts, goblins, and skeletons, I ponder the possible connection to our inner life.  Let this be a time to honor the letting go or passing of choices that might no longer serve us, or take a closer look at relationships that feel non-sustainable.  Further, give yourself freedom to share gratitude for the ones who have had positive impacts on our lives. 

Perhaps you have heard the Yogi Bajan quote “When you don’t go within, you go without.”  This is a wonderful quote to exemplify the quiet inward drawing effects of the winter season, and the nourishing benefits of withdrawing our senses from the outer world to gaze within. Challenging though it may be, the colder and darker months reflect to us, that in order to be born anew we must go within.  Inner stillness and nonjudgmental self-observation empowers us to become available to new ways of being and maybe even open to the parts of ourselves that remain unseen in our shadow.  Be it in stillness, self-reflection, or support from others, we might find there some reverence and light. By that inner light, we may gaze at the things in life that have held us back, noticing what is working and what isn't, and integrating more of what makes our hearts sing into our lives. 

Here are a couple things you can begin to do right now!!

1. Allow yourself 5 minutes (go for more if you can!) of deep belly breathing.  By placing your hand on your belly, inhale through your nose and exhale through your nose.  This will activate the parasympathetic nervous system and allow the body to relax and restore.  If your mind is wandering (that is normal!) bring your attention back to your breath or the rising of your belly into your hand.

2. Self Expression – This is totally up to you!  Maybe the way you want to express yourself is by cooking a warming soup for yourself or the meaningful people in your life.  If journaling is your thing, (or something that you want to make your thing) allow yourself some free-write sessions where you can release whatever has been on your mind.   What expands you?  What contracts you?  Making art, moving your body, and enjoying your time can be very rewarding at this time of year.

3. Cleaning out closets, pantries, drawers, etc.  It may sound funny, but again, this is a great time of the year to ‘go within’ and the nook and cranny parts of our house can be symbolic of the aspects of ourselves that could use some tending to.  It is possible that by cleaning and clearing unwanted clutter might make some space within your inner world!

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to experience anything.  There is only your way.  Be gentle on yourself, listen to your needs, and move forward in the changing seasons in whatever way feels best to you.  Please stay tuned next month when we delve into some ways to use food as medicine, learn about helpful cold & flu winter remedies and ways to beat the winter blues! 

John Muraco is an art therapist and holistic health counselor at The Resiliency Center located in Flourtown.  For more information about John or to schedule a free consultation please go to heartwellhouse.com or reach him by phone at 315-329-9838.

Playing with Qi Gong - by Karen Steinbrecher

Bring joy into your being.  Visualize your child within.

Bring joy into your heart as you practice Qigong.  Do this around children and watch the difference in the way that they respond to you.  Watch how differently they may react to one another in your presence.  Practicing and dancing the healing dance of Qigong works on adults as well.  It helps us let go of  stress, pain, worries.  It is so simple, amazing.  But you must practice.

Remember that as a child you played with the world around you?  You may have imitated a bird’s song, trying to fly like a bird up and up towards heaven and then gently (sometimes) landing on Earth.  When we practice Qigong, we connect with Heaven and Earth, Yang and Yin.  As a child did you chase a wave, toss stones, or did you run away from the wind, or did you race with it?   Let us bring it back, return to that feeling of freedom, that letting go, and connection to your being, you.  This is healing for all beingness.  As adults we often forget to include joy and play in our lives. Let us let go and be. That is part of the essence of this healing dance called Qigong.

Practicing Qigong with regularity can bring you in touch with the common sense that is your nature, a common sense that may become less common as the pace and pressures of life continue to increase.  How we feel and what we think has a powerful effect on our word as well as upon our ability to heal.  The ancient sages of China believed that thinking was a form of Qi.  Our thought and attitudes do influence not only our own bodies, but everyone and everything around us.  Qigong reminds us of this in a very tangible way because its slow, flowing movements and deep breathwork help us to return and get in touch with our connection to the world around us.  Qigong can be a tool, a strategy for freedom from our cage of isolation.

Qigong practice brings you into a relaxed state, the deep breathing oxygenates  your body. Qigong can motivate healing and inner transformation.  It cannot really be explained; it can only be experienced.

I invite you to play Qigong and breathe deeply.  Let us dance this beautiful exercise together. With each and every breath that you take, think of filling an empty glass.  The glass is empty, and as you breathe deeply you fill it from bottom to top with oxygen and Qi.  Then empty from top to bottom.  Gently move your diaphragm down, inhale and pull it up, then exhale.  Notice the feeling of the air, the Qi, moving in and out, your body and brain relaxing.  Practice this balanced breathing, this conscious breathing towards Healing and Peace and Alignment and Love.

Karen Steinbrecher practices, leads, and teaches QiGong at the Resiliency Center on Thursdays at 2:00 pm and 6:15 pm. The class fee is ten dollars for a 50-55 minute class.    RSVP in advance by contacting Karen at karensteinbrecher@msn.com