During a time of crisis, we often feel as if we are just surviving from one day to the next, sometimes one minute to the next. We are in a time of unprecedented crisis. Not only are we experiencing a global pandemic that has lasted 7 months, we are also experiencing a shift of the systemic racism that has plagued our country for centuries being brought to light. And there is an extremely contentious presidential election that is omnipresent. The combination of long lasting and intense stress as well as multiple additional factors is enough to put everyone in a place where our stress is outweighing our resources. In order to not just survive, but thrive during a crisis, I remember the four C’s: Compassion, Care, Caution, and Comedy.
Self-compassion is the foundation and perhaps the most important ingredient in thriving. We all need some grace right now. We are mourning, we may be under financial stress, and we certainly have more to digest and worry about right now. All of these emotions take up a lot of space and leave less room for all of our other life tasks and roles. I urge you to show yourself some care and compassion for not getting the last load of laundry done or forgetting that thing on your to do list. It is very, very understandable right now. Show yourself the love and understanding that you would give you in your most treasured relationships.
Self-care is another essential ingredient in thriving. It is important to note that yes, self-care includes bubble baths and manicures. It also includes saying no to things when there is too much on our plate, taking care of our basic needs, and filling up our tank with whatever works the best for us. It is important to note that often in times of crisis, we return to the comfortable coping skills that most likely were a survival skill in a difficult time in our life. Examples of these are shutting down, overworking as avoidance, or disconnection from others. It is completely normal that you may have shifted into some of these old patterns. But it is also important that we evaluate when negative consequences of a survival skill outweigh the positive.
And that leads us to caution. Remember self-compassion? It is okay if we are eating a bowl of ice cream every night, have a glass of wine, or are bickering more with our loved ones. But if that turns into bingeing, substance abuse, or constant conflict, it is important to hold ourselves accountable and seek support in order to get back on track. A measuring stick for if our means of coping are doing more harm than good is if the negative outcomes outweigh the positive and most importantly, if it is impacting your functioning.
Comedy is my very favorite component of crisis thriving. This includes seeking levity via tv shows, movies, books, limericks, or whatever get you giggling. It also encompasses finding joy in your day to day in whatever way you can. For instance, a gratitude practice, recognizing whatever small thing we are thankful for in the day, can shine joy in the darkest days.
It is important to note that the nature of crisis is that our stress outweighs our resources. It is a daunting task to try and shift the balance. If you need support in this, please connect with your network or reach out to us at The Resiliency Center for whatever support can assist you in thriving.
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Elizabeth Campbell is a Licensed Profession Counselor who provides empowerment and strength-based support to individuals in personal growth and change. She specializes in play therapy with children, family therapy, creative counseling for adolescents, and trauma-informed treatment for all ages using an integrative, mindful approach to address the whole individual and promote healing. .If you would like to connect with Elizabeth, reach out at elizabeth@elizabethcampbellcounseling.com or 610-757-8163 or learn more at www.elizabethcampbellcounseling.com
