Self Compassion Practices for Happiness

According to Positive Psychology Research and Trainer Dr. Jonah Raqette, practices that focus on deepening our compassion for ourselves also contribute to our overall happiness. Experiment with writing the letter below, one of many effective Self-Compassion exercises, and notice the possibility of softening to yourself, relaxing, and inviting more compassion, ease, and happiness.

Self Compassion Practice #1: Letter of Self-Compassion
In this exercise, you’ll begin exploring how to build self-compassion when it comes to areas of your life you normally criticize.

Instructions: We all have things about ourselves that we don’t like, or that we tend to criticize. These might include something about the way we look, how we perform at work, or how we behave or don’t behave around others. These feelings of inadequacy are painful indeed, but are an inevitable part of life for all of us. Take a moment and reflect on one of these aspects of yourself that you often focus on in a negative way. Feel whatever emotions come up for you and notice the sorts of judgments that arise in your mind when you reflect on this issue.

Next, think about someone in your life who is kind, caring, loving, and compassionate towards you. It can either be a real person with whom you feel closeness and trust, or if you prefer, someone you imagine. This person can see your best qualities, as well as your areas of weakness. They understand and care for you, in good times and in bad. They understand that you are a human being, with strengths as well as flaws. Above all, they accept you and love you unconditionally, imperfections and all.
For the next few minutes, write a letter to yourself from the point of view of this friend. Focus in particular on the issue you came up with earlier, whether it was something to do with appearance, career success, behavior, or how you are in a particular relationship. What might this friend say to you regarding your perceived flaw or failure? How might they offer you comfort and demonstrate caring towards you? What might they do to show you kindness and compassion? How might their voice sound? What feelings would they want to convey towards you? Imagine this scenario, and allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up.

When you are ready, fill your letter with the sense of compassion and love that this friend has for you. Once you have finished writing it, re-read the letter to yourself, letting the words sink in. Close your eyes, and feel the warmth and compassion flowing over you. Feel it growing and welling up inside of you. It is yours now, an infinite and renewable source of love and support, here for you whenever you need it.
 

Kindness and Compassion Practices for Greater Happiness

Positive Psychology Trainer Dr. Jonah Paquette teaches us that practices to show kindness and compassion to others have the additional benefit of contributing to our own happiness. Two kindness and compassion practices are described below: Acts of Kindness and Volunteering. When we are kind to others, it generates a positive feeling for them but also for us and contributes to our overall sense of well-being.

Kindness and Compassion Practice #1: Five Acts of Kindness
Instructions: In our everyday lives, we all perform acts of kindness towards others, and receive similar kindness as well. Some of these acts may be small, while others may seem much larger in scope. Sometimes the person for whom the kind act is being performed may not even be aware of the act. Examples of kind acts include donating blood, volunteering, helping paint a friend’s house, feeding a stranger’s expired parking meter, or bringing coffee to work for a colleague. Over the next week, choose a single day of the week to serve as your “kindness day,” and perform five acts of kindness towards others on that day. Repeat this practice for at least four weeks.

Example: Kindness Day/Date: Tuesday, November 11 

Kind Act #1: This morning, I brought coffee for the support staff at work.
Kind Act #2: Today, I sent a small donation for disaster relief efforts in the Philippines following a recent devastating storm.
Kind Act #3: At noon, I smiled and asked the grocery store checkout clerk how her day was going.
Kind Act #4: This evening, I sent a message checking in on a friend I haven’t seen in a few years.
Kind Act #5: Today, I tracked down and personally thanked a co-worker for their excellent and hard work with a mutual patient.

Impressions: Performing a few of these small acts of kindness not only felt good, it turned out to be fun, too. I especially enjoyed doing things that brought me face-to-face with other people so that I could directly see the impact of my kindness on them. For example, when I brought coffee in for our support staff, I could really see how touched and appreciative they were. I think in the future I’d like to keep coming up with ways to directly interact with others during my kind acts, because that seems to feel especially meaningful to me.

Kindness and Compassion Practice #2: Volunteering and Community Service in your community is also an option for a happiness building practice in the area of kindness and compassion. VolunteerMatch is a great website to check out opportunities in your community to help out.

JOY to the World

by Karen Steinbrecher

Upon reading this newsletter, the Thanksgiving Holidays have passed, and the December Holidays are fast approaching.  No doubt, we live during a challenging period of time.

I would like to share some inspiration with you from a book that reads like a novel, rather than a non-fiction “self-help” book.  Written with Douglas Abrams, by his holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu is “The Book of JOY”.  With chapters such as “Fear, Stress, and Anxiety," "Sadness and Grief", "The Hard Times Knit Us More Closely Together," "Passing through Difficulties", and "Laughter", this book reads like a breath of fresh air.

“What is this thing called joy, and how is it possible that it can evoke such a wide range of feelings?

The Archbishop and the Dalai Lama looked at each other, and the Archbishop gestured to the Dalai Lama.  “Yes, it is true. Joy is something different from happiness. When I use the word happiness, in a sense I mean satisfaction.”  The Archbishop later explained, “When we realize that we are all children of God, and of equal and intrinsic value, then we don’t have to feel better or worse than others. God uses each of us in our own way, and even if you are not the best one, you may be the one who is needed or the one who is there.” 

In the chapter on loneliness, the Dalai Lama said, “When someone is warmhearted, they are always completely relaxed. If you live with fear and consider yourself as something special, then automatically, emotionally, you are distanced from others.“   He continued saying, “When one is thinking about others with kindness and compassion, one is never lonely.  Openheartedness-warmheartedness is the antidote to loneliness.”  The research of social psychologists Zhong and Gabriel have found that when people are feeling lonely or socially rejected, they literally seek warmth, like sipping hot soup.

Warm your hearts, your soul, this season and indulge in the warmth of this extraordinary book.

You must wonder what all of this has to do with QiGong.  As a QiGong practitioner/teacher, I love the flow of QiGong movements.  Qi = the energy that animates all of life and Gong means the work of, the practice of the movements.  Life is challenging, and at times one has to work at letting go of the negative, whether it be physical or mental.  Flowing QiGong movements enable one to work, in a pleasurable way to find that peaceful place within.  Warm Blessings to ALL this Holiday Season with Peace, Love, Compassion, Kindness and JOY.  

Karen Steinbrecher leads QiGong classes at the Resiliency Center on Thursdays at 2:00 pm and 6:20 pm.

Finding Joy

by John Muraco

Where do you find JOY?  How do you experience joy?  Perhaps you are savoring it right now as we shift out of the darkness and biting frost of winter and into spring and warming temperatures.  Perhaps for you, joy comes when you smell your favorite food, or think of a place where you feel cherished, invigorated and freshly alive?  Whenever it appears, it is my hope for you that joy finds a place in your heart. 

It is beautiful to see people find great joy out of trying new things in life – stretching beyond their comfort zones and into a space that lends ground to the unknown.  Seeing unfamiliar faces, trying new modes of self-expression, and existing in time and space in a new and radical way.  I recently had the joyous opportunity to launch a drum circle event at The Resiliency Center that honored all things unknown.  For me, leading a ‘formal’ drum circle was new and radical; I was definitely stepping into uncharted territory.   My main intention was and will continue to be to create a safe space where people can be themselves, claim their power, and drum to their hearts' content. 

You might imagine that putting 20-some people in a room and guiding them to make music together out of a combination of drums, loud shakers, sticks, rattles, cowbells, and tamborines, that the outcome would result in a chaotic jumble of sounds.  This could not be farther from the truth!  We continue to see the magic that happens in the undercurrent of improvisational sound and music creation between people.  Casting smiles at one another from across the circle, people who may have been uneasy in the first 10 minutes, open up and add THEIR ENERGY to the sound experience like its nobody’s business!!  The research is outstanding on how drumming and sound-making can reduce the effects of depression, PTSD, anxiety and social pressures.  Please stay tuned as we begin unfolding more information on this – I very much look forward to integrating this and other unique sound-making methods into my practice and groups.  And please, come and join us to Drum to Your Heart’s Desire [Insert link to: http://www.meetup.com/resiliencygatherings/events/221985302/]

Celebrate the Joys of Summer with Qigong

by Karen Steinbrecher

Now is a time of Light, Joy, Elation and Happiness.  Find the magic within as you practice and dance QiGong. This is a time to fully express the new ideas and goals, the seeds we planted at the start of the year. Summer is the season of the heart according to Traditional Chinese Medicine.  This is the season to step into your joy. An important teaching of Chinese medicine is that there is a seamless continuum between the body and the environment around us.  In Five Phase Theory we have entered the cycle of summer, the time, cycle, greatest Yang, and this season is also called ‘Fire.’ All cycles are manifestations of the movement of Yin and Yang, and the seasons are no different. The time of Yin in autumn and winter is a time of resting while both spring and summer are Yang seasons. Yang represents growth, expansion and outward movement. Spring begins this movement of growth, and summer takes over to allow growth to expand to its fullest. During summer we stay healthy trying to mimic this Fire/Yang movement of nature, yet we want to be mindful, to not overdo things. Both too little and too much divert us from harmony. Thus with QiGong practice we work to balance the Yin and Yang. 

Fire stands for heat and the color red. In the body Fire is the Heart, representing a Yang organ and the Small Intestine represents the Yin organs. Stepping into your joy means that it is okay to take a moment away from your busy schedule. Remind yourself that no matter what is going on, it is always possible to feel peace in your heart.  It is good to nourish your being, your spirit, to be kind to yourself. Remember also to nourish yourself with foods.  That is the Yin organ, the small intestine.  This is the organ where the most extensive process of digestion and absorption of foods and nutrient take place.

With Qigong we dance/practice movements to nourish our being with compassion towards joy and happiness.   Some of the many movements connecting the  Heart meridian are  the “Coming and going of the waves, Letting up a balloon, the Swan spreads it wings, Turning your body to view a distant  Full Moon and the Lotus is Rising from the Water.” “Turning the Ball of Light” connects the Small Intestine meridian. These flowing and peaceful stretching movements with the breath work feel so good. For example, the Lotus flower symbolizes Harmony and Love, Peace and Compassion and more. When we practice the Lotus movements, we envision rising up through the muck and the mud to become a flower resonating with purification and growth and happiness. This is a favorite movement with my classes.

Come join us to return to your Heart during these Lotus days of summer with Qigong on Thursdays at 2 P.M. and at 6:15 P.M.

The class lasts for 1 hour with a charge of $10.00

With Qi Blessings and Gratitude,

Karen