by Elizabeth
Venart
Generosity is a
big part of the holiday season. Movies often highlight the theme with humor and
poignancy. In A Christmas Carol,
Scrooge is a curmudgeon who never cared for anyone but himself, yet, by the end
of the film, he is transformed into an openhearted, generous, and kind man. Miracle on 34th Street
concludes with Macy’s Santa “Kris Kringle” delivering a desired new home to the
cynical young girl, causing her to believe in magic after all. It’s
a Wonderful Life shows an entire community of people coming together to
help save the beloved main character, a giving man who, in his desperation, had
doubted the value of his own life.
Invitations to
be generous in December are numerous. Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa are
celebrations with distinctly different origins and traditions – yet all include
the exchange of gifts. Toys for Tots collection sites are scattered along our
commutes to and from work. Men dressed as Santa greet shoppers as they enter
stores, ringing bells and asking for money for the Salvation Army.
Adopt-a-Family programs like the one organized by the Kelly Ann Dolan Memorial
Fund (http://www.kadmf.org/holidayprogram.cfm) invite us to buy clothes, presents, and other needed items for struggling
families in our community. Nonprofit organizations count on people being
willing to do a little more for others this time of year. And, consistently, we
prove them right.
What prompts us
to be more generous now? Is it
simply the season? Does the month of
December (like the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future) have the
power to make us a little softer, a little kinder, and a little more willing to
give? Probably not. Perhaps, instead, we have within us a natural desire to be
giving and, between Thanksgiving and the end of the year, we simply receive and
answer more invitations to be generous.
Our natural
generosity is evident in the outpouring of support that comes following any
local, national, or international tragedy. It can also be seen in the behavior
of young children, expressing joy as they help bake cookies, make presents, and
share gifts with those they love. The drive to be kind is an intrinsic part of
being human. While sometimes it may be thwarted or distorted by painful early
experiences, the vast majority of us continue to be kind. Giving is natural,
and being generous feels good.
This season, as
you consider how you wish to express your generosity, you may want to reflect
on the kind of giving – and receiving – that feels most joyful and satisfying
to you. Consider being mindful and intentional with your giving, not simply
from the perspective of “what would I like to give” but equally evaluating,
“What are the ways I can be giving that will also be uplifting and nourishing for me?”
Giving mindfully
doesn’t involve spending more than we have or overextending ourselves and
ending up depleted or sick. Mindful generosity asks us to acknowledge giving
and receiving as an exchange – and to be intentional with where and how we
direct our energy. Often, the best gifts are
gifts of time, thoughtfulness, and companionship. Consider baking a loaf of
cranberry bread for a neighbor, making soup for a sick friend, extending an
invitation to dinner, making a book of free babysitting coupons for a friend
who is a single parent, or connecting by phone with a long-distance family
member.
As you
contemplate the many ways to be generous this year, consider also giving to
someone very deserving: You. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Lower your
expectations to “find the perfect gift” and consider instead carving out time
for yourself to simply be. Take a
walk in nature. Spend time with people who make you laugh. Sleep in. Go to bed
early. Listen to your favorite music. Re-read a beloved book. Spend time
enjoying the dark, sitting in candlelight and sipping a cup of hot tea.
The joy and
magic of the holiday season comes into focus more clearly when we listen to and
honor our own needs, cultivate a spirit of generosity with ourselves and others,
and slow down to fully experience the present moment. Today and throughout the
year ahead, I wish all of us true presence, mindful generosity, happiness, and
deep, abiding peace.
Elizabeth
Venart, M.Ed., LPC, is the Founder and Director of The Resiliency Center and a
Licensed Professional Counselor who offers individual, couples, and group
counseling. Her focus is on enhancing resiliency, cultivating compassion, and
supporting people in healing through comprehensive, trauma-informed care. Elizabeth
provides clinical supervision and EMDR consultation to therapists seeking to
deepen their understanding of the complexity of human struggles and to respond
in meaningful, effective ways. To
learn more, visit her website at www.elizabethvenart.com.
