Play as Preventative Care At Any Age

by Vanessa Mortillo, LPC

    “The opposite of play is not work—it’s depression.” — Brian Sutton Smith

As a play therapist, I support young people through anxieties and hardships. Using their natural language of play, we act out struggles and work through them in the present moment.  Play offers a unique way of processing difficult feelings in the presence of a connected adult.  What surprised me the most about my work is that even in the midst of darkness and trauma, joy can and does enter the play.  One minute I am defending myself in an angry play sword-fight and next moment I am bouncing a balloon. Through the magic of play, I can travel between levity and heaviness with my clients, and we weave more light in as we go. Children often do this naturally, but adults can do this too.
Relearning this skill through my training as a play therapist has changed my life as an adult. Once very serious and intellectual, I now have more balance. I have gained the confidence to be ridiculous, silly, and to let go. I make sand castles regularly, I dance and wear costumes. I am less afraid to play in front of others.  I laugh more and feel closer to those that I play with. In the midst of hard things, I remember that play is available at any moment. 

This phenomenon has been beautifully described by play expert Stuart Brown, “Those who play rarely become brittle in the face of stress or lose the healing capacity for humor.”  Dr. Brown became passionate about play when he studied mass murderers and found that most had been severely deprived of opportunities for play in early childhood and beyond. He calls this scenario a play deficit. While these represent the most extreme cases, his continued research on play found that playing regularly leads to more spontaneity, creativity, resilience, hope, and social connection for people of all ages. Dr. Brown also found this to be true in the animal kingdom as many social species play throughout the lifespan.

Kevin Carroll, Philadelphia native, former athletic coach for the 76ers, author and motivational speaker, cites his access to play as a child as transformational. In childhood, he had access to few resources and was adopted by grandparents due to his parents suffering from addiction. The playground and a red rubber ball changed his life. He has gone on to help organizations reignite creativity and inspire adults to play. At Tedx Harlem, he invited adults to formally resign from adulthood for a few moments.
“Here are my checkbook, my car keys, my credit card, my bills, my 401k statement. Because you know what? You’ll have to catch me first!  Because tag! You’re it!” I’d like to tag you into the magic of play by inviting you to join in.
 
Join us at the Resiliency Center for a workshop. From laughter yoga, movement, writing workshops, or our new Fun Therapy Happy Hour, we offer something for all types of players. Check out the helpful links and books below for a plethora of ideas of ways to play in every day life. 

Vanessa Mortillo MA, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor that provides individual and group therapy to youth and young adults. Utilizing mindfulness, expressive arts, and play therapy modalities, she harnesses creativity and imagination in the service of growth and healing. Specialties include children and teens, mindfulness groups, play therapy, and expressive arts. Contact her at (267) 507-5793 or vanessamortilloepcs@gmail.com.

Signature Strengths - Building on Strengths to Increase Happiness

by Lindsay Roznowski

The final happiness practice I will share is called Signature Strengths. No two people are the same, and their strengths differ. Whereas sometimes we may be focused on areas where we feel we need to improve, Positive Psychology experts encourage us to lean in more fully to the areas where we are already strong — and build upon it, perhaps infusing some play, creativity, and innovation. New habits can be difficult to start, but simply choosing one of these practices to try on a consistent basis could be a profound investment in one’s own happiness and peace. Difficult life events like the pandemic can put things in perspective for all of us, and my hope is that we are all learning, one practice at a time, how to finally put our oxygen masks on first.

Instructions: Identify your top 3-5 signature strengths from the below list. For a week, choose one of your signature strengths daily and try to use it in a new way.

24 Signature Strengths Examples (Peterson & Seligman)

Appreciation of Beauty – Appreciating beauty or excellence in various domains of life 

Spirituality – Drawing strength from a higher purpose, or greater meaning in life

Gratitude – Being aware of, and thankful for, the good things that happen around us

Hope—Expecting the best to happen in the future, and working to attain it

Humor—finding joy in laughter, and bringing such joy to others 

Forgiveness – being able to forgive others, and grant second chances 

Humility and Modesty – allowing one’s accomplishments to speak for themselves

Prudence – not taking unnecessary risks; not doing things that might later be regretted 

Self-Regulation – regulating what one feels and does; being able to manage and control one’s emotions 

Citizenship – working well as a member of a group or team 

Fairness – treating others equally well 

Leadership – helping others reach greater heights 

Love – valuing close relationships with others  

Kindness – doing good deeds and favors for others 

Social Intelligence – having awareness of others’ feelings and internal processes 

Bravery – not shrinking from threat or challenges 

Persistence – finishing what one starts; not giving up easily 

Integrity – valuing genuineness; taking responsibility for one’s feelings and actions 

Vitality – approaching life with excitement and energy 

Creativity – thinking of novel ways to do things

Curiosity – being interested in experience for its own sake

Open-Mindedness – examining things from all sides

Love of Learning – mastering new skills, topics, bodies of knowledge 

Perspective – providing wise counsel to others

 

Resiliency through Poetry - by Michael Bridges

One of the things that helped me not just cope, but also make meaning and provide hope during this difficult year is poetry. When I was a very young man, I read Theodore Roethke’s poem “The Waking” and the following lines have provided a mantra and guidance throughout my life: I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I learn by going where I have to go. 

Well before the difficult days of COVID, I’ve made sure that I wake slowly, say a silent hallelujah to my first cup of coffee, and then settle in to read poets as diverse as Rumi, Roethke, Rilke, Mary Oliver and others. And then I allow myself to wait until the muse moves me to write what I’ve come to call my “Morning Prayers.” While not great works of art, these poetic ramblings have managed to get me through my days with a sense of purpose and humor. I’ve picked three poems from the past year to share that I hope, at the very least, bring a smile and will resonate with your own journey.    

Mumbling to Myself Becomes a Prayer by Michael Bridges (5/7/2020)

Oh God,

Oh, Great Spirit,

Oh Anyone?

Perhaps just me.

Once again, I’m lost.

So, help me

Find my way back

To this moment.

To all that is holy

In the everyday

In the commonplace 

The sunlight streaming

Through the windows 

The sound of someone

Hammering in the distance

Building something

I’ll never see.

Finally, 

Help me be quiet enough

To hear the song

My heart is singing.

Most of all,

Help me take

Each breath

With delight.

A Kind of Half Ass Carpe diem by Michael Bridges (8/29/2020)

This is where I am 
This is where I be 
Giving just enough 
Of a damn, 
To stay in the moment 
Watching my mind 
Start to flee. 
 
I remain grateful for 
Long dark dreams 
Where I meet strangers 
That read Flannery O’Conner. 
And gray, lush mornings 
Portending thunder storms 
On the way. 
 
The luxury of the moment 
And time to read poetry. 
Akin to the need 
Not to need 
To hurry towards 
The end of my days. 
 
Falling in love 
With the desire 
To seize the moment 
While letting go 
Of any desire 
To grasp it. 
   

Stumbling New Year’s Prayer 

by Michael Bridges (1/1/2021)

 

Let me be small 

      Let me be kind 

              Let me let go 

                     Remembering always 

                     This holy moment to find. 

  

Let me be up 

      Let me be down 

            Let me be empty 

                   Let me be found. 

  

Let me be high 

       Let me be low 

             Let me be less & less 

                    Always, on the go. 

  

Let me finally, 

       Find my way 

                From there 

                        To back here 

  

Again & again & again 

Amen.