Seek Your Truth To Speak Your Truth

by Jen Perry

Do you ever notice how some days go smoothly and then very similar days can be so difficult? Sometimes the difference is obvious, like when we are getting through a workday with a cold or some other malady. But often, it is far more subtle. Checking in on ourselves is an important component of daily self-care. We are contextual beings and taking into consideration even just a few of the myriad influences affecting us from day to day can really make the difference in our self-care and self-support throughout the days and weeks. Just asking the question, “How am I?” and seeking your truth ~ the truth of yourself right now ~ with an intention of caring for yourself and taking into consideration the context of your life right now ~ can make a huge difference. We can practice self-compassion and self-care by attending to our needs of the moment instead of ignoring them and expecting ourselves to be a robot that operates the same way under any set of conditions.

How often do we override our basic needs? Push? Fail to take into consideration our stage in life, or the quality of our sleep, or the seasonal affects around us? Weeks filled with the business of end-of-school-year or the pre-event party planning tornado or the post event collapse after vacation ~ all of these may mean that our needs are different. Seeking your truth so that you can speak your truth to yourself and meet your needs is a simple and quick essential form of daily self-care. Find your style and what works for you. Here is an example of the steps I like to take (adapted from Jon Kabat-Zinn and Kristin Neff):

1.     Simply asking, “How am I?” And really listening as you would a good friend or dear one. Perhaps you feel tired, rushed, sore. Or maybe it is a moment that you can celebrate and you feel good, content, happy.

2.     Fully contact this present moment. Mindfully. The sweet spot here is to meet how you are without minimizing or exaggerating your experience. It is happening either way, meeting it with curiosity and kindness for yourself.

3.     Connecting with Universality: Opening up and connecting in your heart and mind with all the other humans around you having a similar moment. Recognizing that no matter what you are experiencing, you’re guaranteed not to be the only one who is enjoying the pleasant weather, was up all night with a new baby, got bad news from a doctor, is thrilled with a new car, has a difficult conversation they need to have with someone, or whatever it may be … it is part of the human experience and you are not alone. Not at all.

4.     A wish for us all to  …. Fill in the the blank here ~ based on the last few steps, what do you wish for yourself and anyone and everyone in your similar situation? May we all take a deep breath and enjoy this moment… May we all find peace … May we all sleep better tonight and be gentle with ourselves today … May we all be safe, happy, at ease.

5.     Based in the step above, is there a need that you can fulfill for yourself? A simple breath, a walk or stretch, a call to a friend. Now that you’ve found your truth, and spoken it to yourself, the answer to how to best support yourself in this moment should be much easier to find.

Jen Perry is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Mindfulness Meditation Teacher, Peaceful Parenting Educator and Coach. Jen’s approach to her client’s mental health and wellbeing focuses on implementing mindful self-care and self-compassion practices. Jen can be reached at jen@heartfulnessconsulting.com or 215-292-5056.

The Infinity of Each Moment

by Elizabeth Campbell, LPC

“Wherever you are, be there totally.” – Eckhart Tolle. 

In our culture, there is a lot to pay attention to.  There are the daily happenings of work, family, and relationships in addition to the onslaught of information we are faced with every day in the form of news, tweets, texts, Instagram photos, snap chats, and more. The list is endless.  If we are paying attention to all of this, are we really checking into each and every moment?  Our divided attention may rob us of the depth of experience that each second brings. 

One of my yoga teachers once said that every moment is endless.  At this exact second, there is a ton of sensory information occurring.  You may not notice the hum of your computer or the AC draft coming towards you if you don’t consciously check in.  Physical sensations or feelings may be present.  In addition to your experience, the billions of people in the world are also each having their very own vast encounter as well.  

Often, checking out is a sign that we are overwhelmed.  Scanning through Instagram or Facebook may indicate that we need a break from whatever is bringing us stress.  I invite you to notice if there are certain patterns to phone, television, or social media usage.  The practice of noticing these patterns can help you to build awareness of what you are experiencing in those moments – and begin to check in instead of checking out.

Mindfulness teaches us to pay attention to every moment, whether we are meditating in nature or feeling the deepest pain one can experience.  Obviously, some moments are more pleasant than others!  The ubiquitous distractions available to us make it very easy to check out when we feel uncomfortable, sad, anxious, or angry.  But this also takes away our opportunity to build our self-regulation tools.  If we check in, the feelings don’t build up and overwhelm us.  We find ways to manage those feelings.  Mindfulness is an empirically supported approach to treat a range of medical and emotional issues.  It calms our body as we experience the feelings and stress that comes with life, and this helps us become more able to thrive during stressful times. 

Elizabeth Campbell is a Licensed Profession Counselor who provides empowerment and strength-based support to individuals in personal growth and change.  She specializes in play therapy with children, family therapy, creative counseling for adolescents, and trauma-informed treatment for all ages using an integrative, mindful approach to address the whole individual and promote healing.  If you would like to connect with Elizabeth, reach out at elizabeth@elizabethcampbellcounseling.com or 610-757-8163 or learn more at www.elizabethcampbellcounseling.com.

When Life Throws You a Curveball

by Karen Steinbrecher

We know where we are going and what we want to do.  Then due to forces outside of our control, things don't go as we had planned and life changes – sometimes in the blink of an eye.

After helping my husband heal following a major back operation, I was feeling lighter, breathing deeply in gratitude. Then I found myself facing my own personal health crisis. And the fear returned.

My long-time QiGong practice supported me in that moment, inviting me to take a deep breath and open my mind to a new opportunity – with the knowledge that curve balls are a way of keeping us awake. Sometimes curveballs are even a gift.

Breathing in gratitude in the face of life’s curveballs is not always easy to do! This morning, as thoughts rushed through my mind and my body filled with anxiety, I returned – as I do each day – to the gentle flowing movements of QiGong. And as I began to move, flow, and stretch my body with the many movements that I practice and lead, I began to feel better.

QiGong provides us with an opportunity to release any energy that gets blocked and can stagnate in response to the stressors of life. The flowing movements send a signal to our brain, the body's repair and maintenance manager, to rebuild our joints, muscles, and tendons. QiGong exercises body, mind, and spirit and helps support an internal alchemy of balance and integration, creating our own personal medicine.

Karen Steinbrecher teaches QiGong classes at The Resiliency Center on Tuesdays at 2:30 pm and Thursdays at 6:20 pm. Cost is $10. To RSVP, contact Karen at Karensteinbrecher@msn.com  or 215-836-7184.

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Exploring Identity – Through Writing

by Elizabeth Venart

You are a ruby encased in granite. . . . So come, return to the root of the root of your own soul. – Rumi

Who am I?  There are countless ways to answer that question. We may complete the sentence “I am . . .” by describing our roles, jobs, moods, values, personality traits, behaviors, and relationships. There is also a “me” at the center of all of it: The one who reflects on the question – and goes inward for words to follow the ellipses. Who is this one, the constant observer in the sea of our consciousness?  

Writing provides us with a way to connect with ourselves more completely. As we explore our public and private identities, the overlap and separation, our attention may be drawn to those roles with which we are strongly aligned – and then wander to the questions that linger and yearnings that call. What are our dreams? What haunts us? What motivates us? What hidden passions await? Going within to reflect and write can allow us time to unfold the tucked away papers of our identity and explore the complexity and heart of who we are.

Take out a piece of paper or open up your computer. Answer the question, “I am” over and over again. Maybe 30 times. I am. . . I am. . . . I am. . . . See what you discover. You may surprise yourself to hear from a voice you haven’t heard in some time. Just listen. Write down the shouts – those voices you know well – and also record the whispers – the things that surprise you and may be hard to acknowledge. Stay curious. If you dare, keep writing. Answer “I am . . . . “ 100 times. Be serious or have fun with it – or, better yet, make space for all your beautiful contradictions. Marvel at what comes forward.

Elizabeth Venart is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified EMDR Therapist, and EMDRIA-Approved Consultant. She is the Founder and Director of the Resiliency Center. She specializes in working with Highly Sensitive Persons, other therapists, and those who are creative, intuitive, and empathic. She hosts a monthly poetry gathering to read and discuss the writings of Rumi Hafiz, Rilke, Mary Oliver, and inspired writers. To learn more, contact her at 215-233-2002 or Elizabeth@elizabethvenart.com.

Personal Identity Throughout the Lifespan

by Kim Vargas, LCSW

Merriam Webster defines identity as the “sameness of essential or generic character in different instances.”  Basically, identity is the core of who we are, regardless of time or place. Identity encompasses the narrative we tell ourselves about ourselves, and the values we hold dear.

But what happens when our lives or external circumstances change so dramatically that our old sense of who we are no longer seems to fit in our current world? What pieces of identity can be brought with us across life transitions, and what pieces go by the wayside?

I first started to explore these ideas in my work with new moms. There is little more jarring to an identity than to go from life without kids to new parenthood. The competent corporate executive may be in the board room making million dollar decisions one day, and the next day find herself without the knowledge or skill to feed a newborn infant. The personality traits and skill sets that have helped her succeed in the business world often have little or no bearing on success in quieting a screaming infant or potty-training a defiant toddler. New parents may suddenly feel unmoored as individuals. If part of identity is the constancy of personality traits across time and space, these new parents may begin to question who they are when those traits can no longer manifest as they have in the  past.

As I watch various clients go through their own life cycle transitions, it has become increasingly clear that questioning of one’s personal identity is not limited to new parents. Teenagers moving into college seek a grasp on identity as they shift from dependent child to independent young adult. Parents of newly minted adults struggle to redefine self as they let go of the day-to-day oversight of their children. Retirees look for a new understanding of self -- as they move from workers, with the inherent boundaries, restrictions, rules and external validation of a structured job – to a more unstructured existence. And these are just a few of the many life changes that can contribute to feelings of loss or confusion with respect to roles and identity.

Given the universality of these shifts in identity, I have given a great deal of thought as to how these transitions can feel less like a shift in who we are at our core, and more like positive change and growth. Here are a few of my “identity shift guidelines”:

1.     Think about what makes you “you”. Consider this in terms of personality traits that are not specific to your current stage, but rather define the parts of self of which you are most proud. For example, the high school football star who derived a large piece of his identity from his role as a quarterback might learn that the important personality trait isn’t the football skill itself, but instead his extreme perseverance in working toward goals. This perseverance can persist throughout life transitions.

2.     Think about activities that make you feel happiest and most fulfilled. For example, the new mom who loved to be social in her old life may feel like the combination of work and baby have made her disengage from friendships, losing a core piece of self. For this mom, creating a Saturday playgroup or joining a neighborhood bookclub could hit the mark in returning to the social elements of self.

3.     Allow yourself to let go of old behaviors that are no longer functional in your current life stage. Recognize that adopting new behaviors does not spell the end of an old trait.  The man who derived a sense of self from being the “fix-it” guy as a single person may need to find new ways to feel that same sense of competency and satisfaction when family responsibilities no longer allow for spending an afternoon fixing an appliance. But he may be able to take a leadership role in the local PTA and feel competent and able to “fix” something in his new world.

4.     Explore new ways to identify self. Take a class that sounds interesting but may be out of your comfort zone. Take on a new role at work, at school, or as a volunteer that may highlight pieces of self you want to hone or never even knew existed.

5.     Define yourself according to your values, not your accomplishments. Much of who we are derives from how we see ourselves treating others, including the choices we make with respect to allocation of our time and resources.

The good news is that identity is not a solid, stagnant thing, and it is certainly not set in stone. Sometimes it takes trying on some elements of identity for size before you can determine whether (or not) the fit is appropriate.

Rejuvenating Your Body, Mind, and Spirit

by Kristin Fulmer

The month of May is a wonderful time to rejuvenate, revive, and rejoice in the return of enjoyable warmer weather. By May, I usually feel a sense of relief that I made it through the winter months, but also feel a need to shed my ‘winter skin’ in preparation for the hot summer months. 

What better way to transition to summer than to do a ‘spring cleaning’ of our homes, our bodies, and our minds. I encourage you to take advantage of this time of year to do your own springtime flush – to restore your energy and your mental and physical health. Here are a few suggestions for a springtime tune-up, to relax, rejuvenate, and enjoy life!

Spending time outside and exercising improves overall health for a happier, healthier and more alive you. Fresh air, sunlight, and exercise are nature’s best disinfectants, contributing to improved mood, increased energy, melatonin regulation for improved sleep, and heart health benefits. Moderately exposing our skin to sunlight enables our bodies to produce vitamin D, an important hormone-like vitamin that can help ward off depression and stress by aiding the production of the “happy” chemical serotonin.

Gentle detoxification techniques help the body to rid itself of toxins to support the liver, kidney, lymphatic and immune functioning. Try a few of these techniques to recharge and get the ‘winter bugs out’. Take a detox bath, preferable before bed. Sprinkle your bathwater with natural sea salt, baking soda, or seaweed powder and soak for 15 minutes. Do you live near a fresh and clean body of water? Lucky you! Clean natural bodies of water are filled with natural minerals. So, swimming in rivers, lakes, and the sea can be very rejuvenating and detoxifying to our health.  Try dry skin brushing with a natural bristle brush - starting at the soles of your feet, brush your skin with short brush strokes towards your heart. Also, consider a ‘short fast’ to give your digestion a break and jump start your metabolism. A 24-hour fast can be as simple as just consuming water or herbal tea with lemon for one day.

The month of May is also a great opportunity to reevaluate your diet before the hot summer months. In the winter our bodies tend to naturally crave ‘heavier and hearty’ foods, such as meat soups and stews, foods that tend to be more nourishing and healing. However, in the warmer months our bodies may need more of a ‘cleansing diet’ which includes incorporating more vegetables, grains, fruit, and liquids. Also, make sure you are consuming enough water through the warmer days of spring!

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Seriously Delicious Detox Salad

Source: https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/seriously-delicious-detox-salad 

This easy Detox Salad truly is delicious! It’s made with all sorts of fresh and feel-good greens, and topped with a sweet and zesty Carrot-Ginger Dressing.

Ingredients:

Detox Salad Ingredients:

• 3 cups finely-chopped* kale leaves
• 2 cups finely-chopped broccoli florets
• 2 cups finely-chopped red cabbage
• 1 cup matchstick (shredded) carrots
• 1 cup roughly-chopped fresh cilantro leaves
• 1/2 cup toasted slivered almonds
• 1/3 cup thinly-sliced green onions
• 1 avocado, peeled pitted and diced
• 1 batch Carrot Ginger Dressing (see below)

Carrot-Ginger Dressing Ingredients:

• 1 large carrot, peeled and roughly-chopped
• 1/4 cup rice wine vinegar
• 2 tablespoons avocado oil or olive oil (or any mild-flavored cooking oil)
• 1 tablespoon finely-chopped fresh ginger
• 1 tablespoon raw honey (or your desired sweetener)
• 1 tablespoon white (shiro) miso
• 1/2 teaspoon sesame oil
• Kosher salt and black pepper, to taste

Directions:

To Make The Salad:

1. Add all ingredients together in a large bowl, and toss to combine.  Serve immediately.  (Or if you are not going to serve the entire salad in one setting, the salad can be mixed without the dressing and refrigerated in a sealed container for up to 2 days with the dressing refrigerated separately in another sealed container.)

To Make The Carrot-Ginger Dressing:

1. Add all ingredients to a blender or food processor, and pulse until completely smooth.  Season to taste with salt and pepper, and/or add extra honey if you’d like a sweeter dressing.  Serve immediately or refrigerate in a sealed container up to 1 week.

*I recommend chopping the salad ingredients by adding each to a food processor and pulsing until chopped.  Or, you’re also more than welcome to chop them by hand.

https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/seriously-delicious-detox-salad

Kristin Fulmer, MS, LPC, NTP, is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Nutritional Therapist and Certified GAPS™ Practitioner, providing individual and family counseling. Kristin utilizes an integrative and functional whole-person, mind-body approach with an emphasis on nutritionally-dense, whole foods to improve emotional and physical wellbeing. To learn more about her practice and to schedule an appointment, contact Kristin at (267) 843-4888 kristin@healthybody-happybrain.com or website: [Insert link to: www.healthybody-happybrain.com]