Generosity in the Season of Giving

by Elizabeth Venart

Generosity is a big part of the holiday season. Movies often highlight the theme with humor and poignancy. In A Christmas Carol, Scrooge is a curmudgeon who never cared for anyone but himself, yet, by the end of the film, he is transformed into an openhearted, generous, and kind man. Miracle on 34^th Street concludes with Macy’s Santa “Kris Kringle” delivering a desired new home to the cynical young girl, causing her to believe in magic after all.  It’s a Wonderful Life shows an entire community of people coming together to help save the beloved main character, a giving man who, in his desperation, had doubted the value of his own life.

Invitations to be generous in December are numerous. Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa are celebrations with distinctly different origins and traditions – yet all include the exchange of gifts. Toys for Tots collection sites are scattered along our commutes to and from work. Men dressed as Santa greet shoppers as they enter stores, ringing bells and asking for money for the Salvation Army. Adopt-a-Family programs like the one organized by the Kelly Ann Dolan Memorial Fund (http://www.kadmf.org/holidayprogram.cfm) invite us to buy clothes, presents, and other needed items for struggling families in our community. Nonprofit organizations count on people being willing to do a little more for others this time of year. And, consistently, we prove them right.

What prompts us to be more generous now?  Is it simply the season? Does the month of December (like the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future) have the power to make us a little softer, a little kinder, and a little more willing to give? Probably not. Perhaps, instead, we have within us a natural desire to be giving and, between Thanksgiving and the end of the year, we simply receive and answer more invitations to be generous.

Our natural generosity is evident in the outpouring of support that comes following any local, national, or international tragedy. It can also be seen in the behavior of young children, expressing joy as they help bake cookies, make presents, and share gifts with those they love. The drive to be kind is an intrinsic part of being human. While sometimes it may be thwarted or distorted by painful early experiences, the vast majority of us continue to be kind. Giving is natural, and being generous feels good.

This season, as you consider how you wish to express your generosity, you may want to reflect on the kind of giving – and receiving – that feels most joyful and satisfying to you. Consider being mindful and intentional with your giving, not simply from the perspective of “what would I like to give” but equally evaluating, “What are the ways I can be giving that will also be uplifting and nourishing for me?”

Giving mindfully doesn’t involve spending more than we have or overextending ourselves and ending up depleted or sick. Mindful generosity asks us to acknowledge giving and receiving as an exchange – and to be intentional with where and how we direct our energy. Often, the best gifts are gifts of time, thoughtfulness, and companionship. Consider baking a loaf of cranberry bread for a neighbor, making soup for a sick friend, extending an invitation to dinner, making a book of free babysitting coupons for a friend who is a single parent, or connecting by phone with a long-distance family member.

As you contemplate the many ways to be generous this year, consider also giving to someone very deserving: You. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Lower your expectations to “find the perfect gift” and consider instead carving out time for yourself to simply be. Take a walk in nature. Spend time with people who make you laugh. Sleep in. Go to bed early. Listen to your favorite music. Re-read a beloved book. Spend time enjoying the dark, sitting in candlelight and sipping a cup of hot tea.

The joy and magic of the holiday season comes into focus more clearly when we listen to and honor our own needs, cultivate a spirit of generosity with ourselves and others, and slow down to fully experience the present moment. Today and throughout the year ahead, I wish all of us true presence, mindful generosity, happiness, and deep, abiding peace.

Elizabeth Venart, M.Ed., LPC, is the Founder and Director of The Resiliency Center and a Licensed Professional Counselor who offers individual, couples, and group counseling. Her focus is on enhancing resiliency, cultivating compassion, and supporting people in healing through comprehensive, trauma-informed care. Elizabeth provides clinical supervision and EMDR consultation to therapists seeking to deepen their understanding of the complexity of human struggles and to respond in meaningful, effective ways.  To learn more, visit her website at www.elizabethvenart.com.  

Periscope View by Dean Solon

sitting, with an unfolding to a wider view, to a larger, broader, more extensive perspective of landscape, of mindscape.

sitting...rising above the easily seen...is a spacious view of  big sky stretching to distant horizons...is a view of a vastness of ocean, opening expanding reaching out to distant shorelines...is a view that fills, and spills over the banks the barriers and the boundaries of our limited awareness;  is a view that transcends belief and logic and scientific theory.

ripples in the sunlit pool.
you are seeing ripples in the sunlit pool...ripples streaming from left to right...
a perfectly manifesting expressing of a spaciousness
for a seeing, in this         this         this         moment---
              that all concerns and cares
             of this world
             are ripples in the sunlit pool.
             are ripples in the sunlit pool of human time.

a raised view, looking down upon a planet whose surface is mainly water.
waves---ripples on the water---streaming on a great expanse from left to right.
all of it---all of this---attractions, distractions, all of the movement and motion, all of the light allowing a seeing of the motion, all of the expressing and embodying and manifesting of the increasing activity that is the living of the planet and is the living of you...ripples on the water.
grist for the mill.

the dance---Shiva's dance,
the rocking and rolling and swaying of zikhr (remembrance)---
the only dance there is.
ripples on the water.

it is a view of loosening the reins.
it is a way of letting go.

Exhale into Gratitude with QiGong this Thanksgiving Season By Karen Steinbrecher

With inspiration from the Rumi poem, “the Guest House”, I share my Thanksgiving story with you.  From Rumi, “This being human is a guest house.  Every morning a new arrival.”  In September, I experienced a surprise health challenge.  I fainted in my home and fell across a bookcase, hitting the floor on my forehead.  My husband found me immediately and did all the right things.  I broke my past record, having never been overnight in a hospital since birth.  Results from the many tests, X-Rays, CAT scans, etc., and bloodwork showed nothing broken and no concussion.  Low blood pressure and blood sugar may have caused this.  I was a scary sight with two black eyes and facial bruising.  With much gratitude and thankfulness I share this story.  Through all of this I practiced and danced Qigong, whether it was in my mind’s eye in the hospital bed, or physically standing and practicing the flowing movements after arriving home.  People are amazed at how well I have healed and how fortunate I am.  I agree.   Traumatic experiences and worry can cause more worry, problems, and block the energy flow.  Remembering what I tell people I practiced more Qigong.  It is so much more than the physical movements.  The slow and flowing movements send a signal to your brain, your body’s repair and maintenance center to rebuild.  Hold these thoughts, and when you are feeling “out of sorts” practice more Qigong.   A little “pre-Gong” suggestion to empower yourself with Qigong practice, is to turn off all distractions.  Say a big “thank you” to the Universe for the opportunity to be present of mind and body. This heart centered practice helps us connect to a deeper state, the stillness that holds everything together.  Qi dao Yi dao. Where the Qi goes, the mind flows.   Inhale to your heart.  Let go of the personal [worries].  Go inwards and allow your inner arms to support and enfold you with pure love.  Rest in balance in the here and now. Exhale gratitude.                                       

To quote Rumi from the “Guest House”:  Be grateful for whoever comes

                                                                   Because each has been sent

                                                                   as a guide from Beyond.

As Thanksgiving approaches I want to express and shout out my appreciation to the Universe and to all of you, my gratitude for reading my story.  Namaste.

Karen teaches QiGong on Thursdays at 2 P.M. and at 6:15 P.M. for a 1 hour class @  $10.00 per class. In addition to the WuJi QiGong movements, I am incorporating the healing TaiJi Hua Gong practice.

On Wednesday Nov. 19^th Karen Steinbrecher and Dean Solon offer a Free Resiliency Center Workshop. Resiliency through Meditation and Qigong   7 P.M. – 8:30 P.M.   Come join us!

Tending to the Inner Landscape Seasonal Reflections by: John Muraco

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”

-Albert Camus

One true fact: We all deal with the changing seasons differently.  As it stands true with life’s challenges and changes, ups and downs, and ebb and flow, people have very unique and important ways in which they meet the changing of the seasons.  As we leave summer behind and replace the warm weather with cooler and more ‘biting air’, I become fascinated with the approaches that each one of us has toward this change.  Perhaps merely reading this article creates some angst for you as we delve more deeply into fall and the beginning of winter.  At the same time, others may be ecstatic knowing that they get to pull the sweater out of the closet and enjoy warming drinks, rich and filling foods, and more time indoors.  I wonder though, how can this become a season of understanding ourselves more deeply?  What things can we integrate into out lives to make the darker and colder seasons more inviting?  By witnessing natural landscape changes outdoors we find many clues to the changing landscape within us.  Perhaps with some noticing and a little motivation for self-care, we can begin to harmonize with the cooler seasonal change, as we say goodbye to the golden light of summer, and go inward.

This is a great time of the year to harvest all that was accomplished in the past five months.  No matter what your experience has been, allow yourself a chance for a deep breath and gratitude for arriving to your life today.  And look back on the accomplishments made. Perhaps for you, summer was fraught with challenge, change, and some discomforts.  Now is a great time to allow yourself some time each day for quiet reflection.  Consider journaling, working with collage, drawing, or whatever you choose.  Proceed without judgment, like nobody’s watching- this is your time.  It could be that your experience during the summer was one with many positive changes, a lot of time outdoors, late nights, and high energy.  Again, reflecting on all that has taken shape in the ‘lively’ months of spring and summer, and reaping the benefits of what life has delivered, can go a long way.  Winter can be your wind down period that allows for restoration.

Just like the falling leaves, our energy too can be downward and inward-moving as we transition into fall and winter.  And as we near Halloween, a holiday ripe with ghosts, goblins, and skeletons, I ponder the possible connection to our inner life.  Let this be a time to honor the letting go or passing of choices that might no longer serve us, or take a closer look at relationships that feel non-sustainable.  Further, give yourself freedom to share gratitude for the ones who have had positive impacts on our lives. 

Perhaps you have heard the Yogi Bajan quote “When you don’t go within, you go without.”  This is a wonderful quote to exemplify the quiet inward drawing effects of the winter season, and the nourishing benefits of withdrawing our senses from the outer world to gaze within. Challenging though it may be, the colder and darker months reflect to us, that in order to be born anew we must go within.  Inner stillness and nonjudgmental self-observation empowers us to become available to new ways of being and maybe even open to the parts of ourselves that remain unseen in our shadow.  Be it in stillness, self-reflection, or support from others, we might find there some reverence and light. By that inner light, we may gaze at the things in life that have held us back, noticing what is working and what isn't, and integrating more of what makes our hearts sing into our lives. 

Here are a couple things you can begin to do right now!!

1. Allow yourself 5 minutes (go for more if you can!) of deep belly breathing.  By placing your hand on your belly, inhale through your nose and exhale through your nose.  This will activate the parasympathetic nervous system and allow the body to relax and restore.  If your mind is wandering (that is normal!) bring your attention back to your breath or the rising of your belly into your hand.

2. Self Expression – This is totally up to you!  Maybe the way you want to express yourself is by cooking a warming soup for yourself or the meaningful people in your life.  If journaling is your thing, (or something that you want to make your thing) allow yourself some free-write sessions where you can release whatever has been on your mind.   What expands you?  What contracts you?  Making art, moving your body, and enjoying your time can be very rewarding at this time of year.

3. Cleaning out closets, pantries, drawers, etc.  It may sound funny, but again, this is a great time of the year to ‘go within’ and the nook and cranny parts of our house can be symbolic of the aspects of ourselves that could use some tending to.  It is possible that by cleaning and clearing unwanted clutter might make some space within your inner world!

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to experience anything.  There is only your way.  Be gentle on yourself, listen to your needs, and move forward in the changing seasons in whatever way feels best to you.  Please stay tuned next month when we delve into some ways to use food as medicine, learn about helpful cold & flu winter remedies and ways to beat the winter blues! 

John Muraco is an art therapist and holistic health counselor at The Resiliency Center located in Flourtown.  For more information about John or to schedule a free consultation please go to heartwellhouse.com or reach him by phone at 315-329-9838.

Your Body is your Vehicle in Life. Is yours in need of a tune up?

By Brittiney George, BS, CRS, CEIM

As winter approaches we are often reminded to tune up our cars.  Fill the washer fluids, check the air in the tires, and test our brakes, all in preparation for the upcoming weather shifts that occur with seasonal changes. 

Your body is your vehicle in this life.  It has been with you since birth.  The make and model may change over the years, but it was, is, and will remain all yours.  Trade-ins are not an option.  You are the driver and your memories, beliefs, spirit, and life events are your passengers.  It’s likely you’ve even picked up a few hitchhikers over the years; the shoulds and shouldn’ts and beliefs that belong to someone else. 

So how is your car running?  Have you checked in lately to see what it needs? The best way to keep the cost of repairs down is to listen to your body and lighten the load.  Drop those hitchhikers off at their own destination, they were never yours.  Pay attention to the flashing lights and listen for the warning signs your body gives you that are saying to stop, turn here, change directions or maybe even take a rest because your engine has been revved up or in idle for too long.  Listen to your body and LIVE your life instead of spending your time and money fixing it. 

There are many wonderful ways to learn to listen to your body.  Meditation, movement, breath, and touch are just some of the ways you can tune in to your needs.  Another powerful pathway to awareness is Rubenfeld Synergy.  Rubenfeld Synergy uses talk and gentle touch to help you access the body’s wisdom and utilize the awareness that develops to generate new options for how to move through life.  Connect to your inner wisdom with a FREE 50 min. Rubenfeld Synergy session (for all new clients) by contacting Brittiney George @ 610-389-7866 or movebackintolife@gmail.com.

Brittiney George, BS, CRS, CEIM is a Certified Rubenfeld Synergist and Infant Massage Educator offering Rubenfeld sessions, movement classes, body-mind integration workshops, and infant massage education at the Resiliency Center.  As a corporate trainer/manager for 11 years & movement practitioner for over 15 years, Brittiney believes in the resiliency of the human spirit and the body’s unique ability to heal.  For more information or to schedule a session please contact Brittiney George at 610-389-7866 or via e-mail at movebackintolife@gmail.com

Awareness

By Katie May

We all experience feelings, both positive and negative. Being mindfully aware means having the ability to acknowledge these feelings without judging them or trying to change them. Helping children feel understood and validating their feelings is the first step in decreasing tantrums and acting out behaviors.

As a parent, you are the mirror for your child's emotions. From birth, your child has learned about his or her feelings in terms of how you have responded to them. Teaching children how to recognize and identify their feelings is the building block for emotional regulation. The most helpful way to do this is to verbally reflect what you think they are feeling at any given moment. The first step in achieving this harmony is to tune in to how your child is feeling.

When your child was an infant, you may have learned to decipher different cries or sounds that let you know your child was hungry, wet or tired. By tuning in, you can continue to use your parental instincts to decode your child or teen's feelings. Look at your child's face for clues to her feelings. Is she pouting? Smiling? Rolling her eyes? Take note of any noises your child may make that will let you know what emotion he is experiencing. Do you hear a grunt of frustration? A gasp of surprise? Certain words or phrases can clue you in to your child's feelings as well. "I hate you" can mean "I'm angry at you and I don't know how to express that."

Finally, a child's actions will most times speak louder than his or her words. Tantrums are an outward expression of a child's pain, rejection, frustration or anger. Isolating, cutting and risk-taking behaviors are a teen's way of letting you know that he or she does not feel balanced emotionally.  For the next week, take note of your child's feelings. Just the simple act of tuning in to the way he or she feels will begin to change your interactions for the better. 

The Resiliency Center has a variety of services to help you learn more about how to listen to and respond to your child in a way that makes him or her feel safe and understood, including Family Therapy and Parent Coaching.  If your child is struggling with how to recognize, identify and manage intense emotions, individual therapy can benefit your child.  It will help you find ways to connect with him or her while developing ways for you and your child to feel happier. 

Katie K. May is a Nationally Certified, Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in working with children and adolescents.  She uses play therapy and expressive arts activities to help clients communicate difficult emotions and decrease problem behaviors.  Katie offers individual therapy for children ages 3 through 19, as well as a Teen Group Therapy Circle, a Creative Kids Yoga Story Time and a Mindfulness-Based Expressive Arts for Stress Reduction program for Teens.  Contact:  Katie@creativehealingphilly.com or610-813-2575.  Seewww.creativehealingphilly.com for more details on services and programs offered by Katie K. May.

The Miracle of the Actual by Dean Solon

he is more interested in science.  perhaps.  i am more interested in people.  perhaps.
we are the same.
he dropped acid hundreds of times.  i did lsd once.
we can see for miles and miles and miles.  we are the same.

when i started to write, it was with an intention to write space fiction.  inner space fiction.
and i write space fiction, with a poetry, with words of peace and love and mercy.
he writes space fiction, of a different sort, in a different way.
each of us in a fever dream.
we are the same. 

nothing is the same as it was forty years ago.
nothing is the same as it was a moment ago.
words passing like clouds across the big sky.
each of the seven billion of us, breathing in and breathing out, with craziness inside.
a touch of craziness.
a touch of wisdom.
a touch of possibility
riding on the wind, everchangingly
the same
as it was a moment ago.

we believe we need the Word to awaken
when we need nothing but this moment
to awaken.

the miracle of the actual.
it always surprises.