Awareness

By Katie May

We all experience feelings, both positive and negative. Being mindfully aware means having the ability to acknowledge these feelings without judging them or trying to change them. Helping children feel understood and validating their feelings is the first step in decreasing tantrums and acting out behaviors.

As a parent, you are the mirror for your child's emotions. From birth, your child has learned about his or her feelings in terms of how you have responded to them. Teaching children how to recognize and identify their feelings is the building block for emotional regulation. The most helpful way to do this is to verbally reflect what you think they are feeling at any given moment. The first step in achieving this harmony is to tune in to how your child is feeling.

When your child was an infant, you may have learned to decipher different cries or sounds that let you know your child was hungry, wet or tired. By tuning in, you can continue to use your parental instincts to decode your child or teen's feelings. Look at your child's face for clues to her feelings. Is she pouting? Smiling? Rolling her eyes? Take note of any noises your child may make that will let you know what emotion he is experiencing. Do you hear a grunt of frustration? A gasp of surprise? Certain words or phrases can clue you in to your child's feelings as well. "I hate you" can mean "I'm angry at you and I don't know how to express that."

Finally, a child's actions will most times speak louder than his or her words. Tantrums are an outward expression of a child's pain, rejection, frustration or anger. Isolating, cutting and risk-taking behaviors are a teen's way of letting you know that he or she does not feel balanced emotionally.  For the next week, take note of your child's feelings. Just the simple act of tuning in to the way he or she feels will begin to change your interactions for the better. 

The Resiliency Center has a variety of services to help you learn more about how to listen to and respond to your child in a way that makes him or her feel safe and understood, including Family Therapy and Parent Coaching.  If your child is struggling with how to recognize, identify and manage intense emotions, individual therapy can benefit your child.  It will help you find ways to connect with him or her while developing ways for you and your child to feel happier. 

Katie K. May is a Nationally Certified, Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in working with children and adolescents.  She uses play therapy and expressive arts activities to help clients communicate difficult emotions and decrease problem behaviors.  Katie offers individual therapy for children ages 3 through 19, as well as a Teen Group Therapy Circle, a Creative Kids Yoga Story Time and a Mindfulness-Based Expressive Arts for Stress Reduction program for Teens.  Contact:  Katie@creativehealingphilly.com or610-813-2575.  Seewww.creativehealingphilly.com for more details on services and programs offered by Katie K. May.

The Miracle of the Actual by Dean Solon

he is more interested in science.  perhaps.  i am more interested in people.  perhaps.
we are the same.
he dropped acid hundreds of times.  i did lsd once.
we can see for miles and miles and miles.  we are the same.

when i started to write, it was with an intention to write space fiction.  inner space fiction.
and i write space fiction, with a poetry, with words of peace and love and mercy.
he writes space fiction, of a different sort, in a different way.
each of us in a fever dream.
we are the same. 

nothing is the same as it was forty years ago.
nothing is the same as it was a moment ago.
words passing like clouds across the big sky.
each of the seven billion of us, breathing in and breathing out, with craziness inside.
a touch of craziness.
a touch of wisdom.
a touch of possibility
riding on the wind, everchangingly
the same
as it was a moment ago.

we believe we need the Word to awaken
when we need nothing but this moment
to awaken.

the miracle of the actual.
it always surprises.  

Building Resilience in Response to the Challenges of Today’s Families

by Kathleen Krol, MSS, LCSW, RPT-S

Being a parent and raising a family has never been easy. Today’s parents, like those of past

generations, face many challenges. Whereas, some parenting issues have been around for some time, today’s modern world presents many unique, complex challenges of its own. What are these challenges and how can a family be resilient in the face of them? This article will explore some options.

There has been for some time an explosion of knowledge readily available at one’s fingertips, with everyone and anyone giving advice on how to effectively parent and improve one’s relationships. Dr. Phil is a well-known name whose business is offering this advice. As part of this trend, many people are also diagnosing children now, so any child with behavior problems must have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or be Oppositional Defiant and need medication. As a parent, how do you sort through what information is valid and going to be beneficial to your child/teen and what will be detrimental and harmful?

Advances in technology not only bombard us with information but our children as well. The world of children and teens often revolves around this technology, connecting through Facebook, Twitter, and chat rooms, making them vulnerable to cyber bullying and exposing them to the latest unhealthy fads like “cinnamon” and self-harming sites. Parents may find it challenging to know how to connect with their teen who may prefer constantly texting with friends – or find it hard to find stimulating enough activities for a child hooked on videos and games.

Even if you are fortunate not to have these concerns, there are still the typical parenting issues that arise at different developmental stages such as sibling rivalry, school separation anxiety, peer pressure and bullying. Or perhaps an adjustment to the addition of a new family member, changes with home or school, family separations, divorce or becoming a blended family.

Parents may also feel challenged by how not to repeat what they didn’t like about how they were parented or find it difficult to handle well-intended but unwanted feedback from extended family members. Yes, being a parent and raising a family has never been easy and still isn’t!

Wait, there is hope! Resilience in the face of challenges is something you do possess! Resilience in dealing with these many challenges involves trusting in yourself, recognizing what has got you through past obstacles, using experience as a learning opportunity, levering the resources and strengths of your family, accessing your support system, and, most importantly, patience and kindness with yourself when you feel like you have failed.

Resilience also includes knowing when you don’t have the answer, recognizing the need for support, guidance or expert advice, and taking the steps necessary to get the help you need. The Resiliency Center can provide the support, guidance and expert advice families need to feel resilient again – through practitioners who offer counseling, educational and holistic interventions. Our practitioners are genuine, caring, and really committed to a strengths-based approach to helping parents and their families.

Practitioners can help you narrow down and implement strategies that will work most effectively for you as a parent or couple, assist you in identifying family patterns, and helping to normalize your experience. They can support you and your family through the process of transition and change and assist you and your child or teen in managing problems through solution-oriented outcomes and coping skills. Our wellness education programs and community offerings will teach you how to better take care of yourself, whether as a parent, partner or both.

The family-oriented services offered at The Resiliency Center include: family therapy, child and teen counseling, Play-Family Therapy, teen groups, parent coaching, and mindful parenting classes. For new parents, mom’s groups and infant massage education classes are offered.  Couples in the early stages of relationship formation may find premarital counseling beneficial. For relationship transitions, we offer pre-baby counseling, couples counseling to renew your relationship, as well as counseling on navigating the difficulty of separation and divorce. A divorce support group offers community and strategies for resilience. If you are seeking overall life satisfaction, informative and restorative workshops or classes are offered periodically along with regularly scheduled classes like Qi Gong, meditation, and laughter yoga. We look forward to supporting you on your journey, wherever you are.

This article was written by Kathleen Krol, LCSW, RPT-S, who is an independent practitioner at the Resiliency Center with over eleven years post-graduate training and experience. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Registered Play Therapist/Supervisor with specialization in Contextual Family Therapy, Play Therapy, Sand Tray Therapy and EMDR (for anxiety, self-esteem and trauma issues).  She offers individualized assessment of a parent/family needs, practical solutions and interventions, parent coaching, family therapy and individual child and teen therapy. For a free personalized consultation to see if her services would be a good fit, contact her at kasiakrol17@verizon.net or 215-289-3101, #1.

The Real Way to Have More Money

by Delia Nessim

These days a lot of people are talking about not having enough money. The more we hear that the economy is bad, the more fear it evokes. People become afraid to spend their money. A collective consciousness builds - one of fear, lack, and even panic. Energy therapies teach that energy attracts physical evidence with a similar vibration. According to this view, people who worry about their lack of money may seem to have more experiences to worry about. Then they feel even more justified in worrying. So what’s the solution? The solution is to change your mind. Change your thoughts. Change your consciousness. That may seem difficult, because it involves changing your current behavior patterns, but it’s not as hard as you think.

The first step in changing any behavior is to pay attention. We can all become more aware of our words, the messages of people around us, and the media we watch. When we are regularly exposed to messages of lack, we can come to believe them and then instinctively repeat them. Do your thoughts and the words you speak contribute to a dialogue of scarcity and fear? I invite you to take a break from these thoughts. Sometimes it IS as simple as saying “Stop!” when the worries arise. After you have some practice noticing and stopping those thoughts, it’s time to play “make believe.”  

Create a vision of what you would like your financial life to look like and feel like. If your imagination is failing you, try to think of a time that you felt rich. Maybe it was when you were 8 years old and your grandmom sent you $10 in the mail. You lit up thinking about all the candy you could buy for ten bucks! GO there… GO there every day… GO there many times a day. The details of how it’s going to happen or how much money you need or want doesn't matter. All that matters is how rich you feel. It’s really fun. There is no harm in pretending. 

Of course, the more you practice feeling rich, the more real it feels. Your energetic vibration begins to inform the world that you are rich, and it’s time for the universe to provide evidence to support that vibration. Within a day or two, you will find money in unexpected places or opportunities will come your way. Don’t discount anything. It might start with finding a dime in the street. Accept it all with gratitude. Say “yes” and “thank you” for everything that comes, big or small. Do not resist it by insisting it look a certain way (e.g., that you get a raise at work, sell more products or services, or win the lottery). Let the universe work out the details. Your job is to pretend, enjoy, and accept with love and gratitude. When you shift your consciousness, you will know it. You will intuitively sense that your world is about to change for the better.

If you need help releasing old patterns, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) can help. Call (610-416-7535) or email Delia Nessim at delia@dncounseling.com for an appointment. 

A Delicate Truth by Dean Solon

"what the gods and all reasonable human beings fought in vain wasn't stupidity at all.  it was sheer, wanton, bloody indifference to anybody's interests but their own."  (john le carre, in his most recent novel "A Delicate Truth")

so much trouble in the world.  syria, ukraine, israel and palestinians, iraq, africa.  i hear larry kane saying on the radio this is certainly not the summer of love.

our world a science fiction world, where a human being on the ground fires a surface-to-air missile that hits its target, a jet 33,000 feet above the earth, and destroys the plane and ends the lives of nearly 300 sentient beings.  what are to make of ourselves?  is this the way we want it to be?
a question that reverberates inside me:  "is this the way you, i, want it to be?"

the.Buddha, Jesus, the hebrew prophets, Meher Baba, Krishna, Muhammed, the embodiers of Mother energy wisdom, are saying:  "We care."

and we care.  and so we are to care, about all living beings with whom we are sharing an experience of residing and abiding on the earth-plane.  our hearts are to be open, wide-open, to and with the cries of sorrow and suffering, here, now.  there is no need for explanation, for discussion.  is simply true---if we are not caring, if we are not bleeding tears too, we are not awake, we are not fully alive.

wisdom and compassion are the heart and whole of our being present, of our being witnesses and participants.

wisdomcompassiom the core and crux of all of it, of all of this.

Allowing Space by Dean Solon

a week ago a sitting-in-circle at the resiliency center.  am remembering now we may have come to a way of unraveling the seeming puzzles and paradoxes of living in this world:  with an allowing of space.

sitting comfortably and with ease.
closing your eyes.
allowing your body to be at rest
and your breathing to be natural.
easing into spaciousness, into expansiveness.
relaxing in this openness.

the world arising, in this moment, as always it has been, and is, arising...
in the deepest within, the most infinite beyond.

no one sitting, nothing happening.
you sitting, you happening.

you sitting, with an allowing of space...

allowing space for joy           allowing space for grief

allowing space for confusion          allowing space for clarity

allowing space for petulance          allowing space for surrender, allowing space for acceptance

allowing space for whatever arises unfolds and reveals

allowing space for anything
allowing space for everything

an all-inclusive path.

Celebrate the Joys of Summer with Qigong

by Karen Steinbrecher

Now is a time of Light, Joy, Elation and Happiness.  Find the magic within as you practice and dance QiGong. This is a time to fully express the new ideas and goals, the seeds we planted at the start of the year. Summer is the season of the heart according to Traditional Chinese Medicine.  This is the season to step into your joy. An important teaching of Chinese medicine is that there is a seamless continuum between the body and the environment around us.  In Five Phase Theory we have entered the cycle of summer, the time, cycle, greatest Yang, and this season is also called ‘Fire.’ All cycles are manifestations of the movement of Yin and Yang, and the seasons are no different. The time of Yin in autumn and winter is a time of resting while both spring and summer are Yang seasons. Yang represents growth, expansion and outward movement. Spring begins this movement of growth, and summer takes over to allow growth to expand to its fullest. During summer we stay healthy trying to mimic this Fire/Yang movement of nature, yet we want to be mindful, to not overdo things. Both too little and too much divert us from harmony. Thus with QiGong practice we work to balance the Yin and Yang. 

Fire stands for heat and the color red. In the body Fire is the Heart, representing a Yang organ and the Small Intestine represents the Yin organs. Stepping into your joy means that it is okay to take a moment away from your busy schedule. Remind yourself that no matter what is going on, it is always possible to feel peace in your heart.  It is good to nourish your being, your spirit, to be kind to yourself. Remember also to nourish yourself with foods.  That is the Yin organ, the small intestine.  This is the organ where the most extensive process of digestion and absorption of foods and nutrient take place.

With Qigong we dance/practice movements to nourish our being with compassion towards joy and happiness.   Some of the many movements connecting the  Heart meridian are  the “Coming and going of the waves, Letting up a balloon, the Swan spreads it wings, Turning your body to view a distant  Full Moon and the Lotus is Rising from the Water.” “Turning the Ball of Light” connects the Small Intestine meridian. These flowing and peaceful stretching movements with the breath work feel so good. For example, the Lotus flower symbolizes Harmony and Love, Peace and Compassion and more. When we practice the Lotus movements, we envision rising up through the muck and the mud to become a flower resonating with purification and growth and happiness. This is a favorite movement with my classes.

Come join us to return to your Heart during these Lotus days of summer with Qigong on Thursdays at 2 P.M. and at 6:15 P.M.

The class lasts for 1 hour with a charge of $10.00

With Qi Blessings and Gratitude,

Karen