Building Resilience in Response to the Challenges of Today’s Families

by Kathleen Krol, MSS, LCSW, RPT-S

Being a parent and raising a family has never been easy. Today’s parents, like those of past

generations, face many challenges. Whereas, some parenting issues have been around for some time, today’s modern world presents many unique, complex challenges of its own. What are these challenges and how can a family be resilient in the face of them? This article will explore some options.

There has been for some time an explosion of knowledge readily available at one’s fingertips, with everyone and anyone giving advice on how to effectively parent and improve one’s relationships. Dr. Phil is a well-known name whose business is offering this advice. As part of this trend, many people are also diagnosing children now, so any child with behavior problems must have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or be Oppositional Defiant and need medication. As a parent, how do you sort through what information is valid and going to be beneficial to your child/teen and what will be detrimental and harmful?

Advances in technology not only bombard us with information but our children as well. The world of children and teens often revolves around this technology, connecting through Facebook, Twitter, and chat rooms, making them vulnerable to cyber bullying and exposing them to the latest unhealthy fads like “cinnamon” and self-harming sites. Parents may find it challenging to know how to connect with their teen who may prefer constantly texting with friends – or find it hard to find stimulating enough activities for a child hooked on videos and games.

Even if you are fortunate not to have these concerns, there are still the typical parenting issues that arise at different developmental stages such as sibling rivalry, school separation anxiety, peer pressure and bullying. Or perhaps an adjustment to the addition of a new family member, changes with home or school, family separations, divorce or becoming a blended family.

Parents may also feel challenged by how not to repeat what they didn’t like about how they were parented or find it difficult to handle well-intended but unwanted feedback from extended family members. Yes, being a parent and raising a family has never been easy and still isn’t!

Wait, there is hope! Resilience in the face of challenges is something you do possess! Resilience in dealing with these many challenges involves trusting in yourself, recognizing what has got you through past obstacles, using experience as a learning opportunity, levering the resources and strengths of your family, accessing your support system, and, most importantly, patience and kindness with yourself when you feel like you have failed.

Resilience also includes knowing when you don’t have the answer, recognizing the need for support, guidance or expert advice, and taking the steps necessary to get the help you need. The Resiliency Center can provide the support, guidance and expert advice families need to feel resilient again – through practitioners who offer counseling, educational and holistic interventions. Our practitioners are genuine, caring, and really committed to a strengths-based approach to helping parents and their families.

Practitioners can help you narrow down and implement strategies that will work most effectively for you as a parent or couple, assist you in identifying family patterns, and helping to normalize your experience. They can support you and your family through the process of transition and change and assist you and your child or teen in managing problems through solution-oriented outcomes and coping skills. Our wellness education programs and community offerings will teach you how to better take care of yourself, whether as a parent, partner or both.

The family-oriented services offered at The Resiliency Center include: family therapy, child and teen counseling, Play-Family Therapy, teen groups, parent coaching, and mindful parenting classes. For new parents, mom’s groups and infant massage education classes are offered.  Couples in the early stages of relationship formation may find premarital counseling beneficial. For relationship transitions, we offer pre-baby counseling, couples counseling to renew your relationship, as well as counseling on navigating the difficulty of separation and divorce. A divorce support group offers community and strategies for resilience. If you are seeking overall life satisfaction, informative and restorative workshops or classes are offered periodically along with regularly scheduled classes like Qi Gong, meditation, and laughter yoga. We look forward to supporting you on your journey, wherever you are.

This article was written by Kathleen Krol, LCSW, RPT-S, who is an independent practitioner at the Resiliency Center with over eleven years post-graduate training and experience. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Registered Play Therapist/Supervisor with specialization in Contextual Family Therapy, Play Therapy, Sand Tray Therapy and EMDR (for anxiety, self-esteem and trauma issues).  She offers individualized assessment of a parent/family needs, practical solutions and interventions, parent coaching, family therapy and individual child and teen therapy. For a free personalized consultation to see if her services would be a good fit, contact her at kasiakrol17@verizon.net or 215-289-3101, #1.

The Real Way to Have More Money

by Delia Nessim

These days a lot of people are talking about not having enough money. The more we hear that the economy is bad, the more fear it evokes. People become afraid to spend their money. A collective consciousness builds - one of fear, lack, and even panic. Energy therapies teach that energy attracts physical evidence with a similar vibration. According to this view, people who worry about their lack of money may seem to have more experiences to worry about. Then they feel even more justified in worrying. So what’s the solution? The solution is to change your mind. Change your thoughts. Change your consciousness. That may seem difficult, because it involves changing your current behavior patterns, but it’s not as hard as you think.

The first step in changing any behavior is to pay attention. We can all become more aware of our words, the messages of people around us, and the media we watch. When we are regularly exposed to messages of lack, we can come to believe them and then instinctively repeat them. Do your thoughts and the words you speak contribute to a dialogue of scarcity and fear? I invite you to take a break from these thoughts. Sometimes it IS as simple as saying “Stop!” when the worries arise. After you have some practice noticing and stopping those thoughts, it’s time to play “make believe.”  

Create a vision of what you would like your financial life to look like and feel like. If your imagination is failing you, try to think of a time that you felt rich. Maybe it was when you were 8 years old and your grandmom sent you $10 in the mail. You lit up thinking about all the candy you could buy for ten bucks! GO there… GO there every day… GO there many times a day. The details of how it’s going to happen or how much money you need or want doesn't matter. All that matters is how rich you feel. It’s really fun. There is no harm in pretending. 

Of course, the more you practice feeling rich, the more real it feels. Your energetic vibration begins to inform the world that you are rich, and it’s time for the universe to provide evidence to support that vibration. Within a day or two, you will find money in unexpected places or opportunities will come your way. Don’t discount anything. It might start with finding a dime in the street. Accept it all with gratitude. Say “yes” and “thank you” for everything that comes, big or small. Do not resist it by insisting it look a certain way (e.g., that you get a raise at work, sell more products or services, or win the lottery). Let the universe work out the details. Your job is to pretend, enjoy, and accept with love and gratitude. When you shift your consciousness, you will know it. You will intuitively sense that your world is about to change for the better.

If you need help releasing old patterns, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) can help. Call (610-416-7535) or email Delia Nessim at delia@dncounseling.com for an appointment. 

A Delicate Truth by Dean Solon

"what the gods and all reasonable human beings fought in vain wasn't stupidity at all.  it was sheer, wanton, bloody indifference to anybody's interests but their own."  (john le carre, in his most recent novel "A Delicate Truth")

so much trouble in the world.  syria, ukraine, israel and palestinians, iraq, africa.  i hear larry kane saying on the radio this is certainly not the summer of love.

our world a science fiction world, where a human being on the ground fires a surface-to-air missile that hits its target, a jet 33,000 feet above the earth, and destroys the plane and ends the lives of nearly 300 sentient beings.  what are to make of ourselves?  is this the way we want it to be?
a question that reverberates inside me:  "is this the way you, i, want it to be?"

the.Buddha, Jesus, the hebrew prophets, Meher Baba, Krishna, Muhammed, the embodiers of Mother energy wisdom, are saying:  "We care."

and we care.  and so we are to care, about all living beings with whom we are sharing an experience of residing and abiding on the earth-plane.  our hearts are to be open, wide-open, to and with the cries of sorrow and suffering, here, now.  there is no need for explanation, for discussion.  is simply true---if we are not caring, if we are not bleeding tears too, we are not awake, we are not fully alive.

wisdom and compassion are the heart and whole of our being present, of our being witnesses and participants.

wisdomcompassiom the core and crux of all of it, of all of this.

Allowing Space by Dean Solon

a week ago a sitting-in-circle at the resiliency center.  am remembering now we may have come to a way of unraveling the seeming puzzles and paradoxes of living in this world:  with an allowing of space.

sitting comfortably and with ease.
closing your eyes.
allowing your body to be at rest
and your breathing to be natural.
easing into spaciousness, into expansiveness.
relaxing in this openness.

the world arising, in this moment, as always it has been, and is, arising...
in the deepest within, the most infinite beyond.

no one sitting, nothing happening.
you sitting, you happening.

you sitting, with an allowing of space...

allowing space for joy           allowing space for grief

allowing space for confusion          allowing space for clarity

allowing space for petulance          allowing space for surrender, allowing space for acceptance

allowing space for whatever arises unfolds and reveals

allowing space for anything
allowing space for everything

an all-inclusive path.

Celebrate the Joys of Summer with Qigong

by Karen Steinbrecher

Now is a time of Light, Joy, Elation and Happiness.  Find the magic within as you practice and dance QiGong. This is a time to fully express the new ideas and goals, the seeds we planted at the start of the year. Summer is the season of the heart according to Traditional Chinese Medicine.  This is the season to step into your joy. An important teaching of Chinese medicine is that there is a seamless continuum between the body and the environment around us.  In Five Phase Theory we have entered the cycle of summer, the time, cycle, greatest Yang, and this season is also called ‘Fire.’ All cycles are manifestations of the movement of Yin and Yang, and the seasons are no different. The time of Yin in autumn and winter is a time of resting while both spring and summer are Yang seasons. Yang represents growth, expansion and outward movement. Spring begins this movement of growth, and summer takes over to allow growth to expand to its fullest. During summer we stay healthy trying to mimic this Fire/Yang movement of nature, yet we want to be mindful, to not overdo things. Both too little and too much divert us from harmony. Thus with QiGong practice we work to balance the Yin and Yang. 

Fire stands for heat and the color red. In the body Fire is the Heart, representing a Yang organ and the Small Intestine represents the Yin organs. Stepping into your joy means that it is okay to take a moment away from your busy schedule. Remind yourself that no matter what is going on, it is always possible to feel peace in your heart.  It is good to nourish your being, your spirit, to be kind to yourself. Remember also to nourish yourself with foods.  That is the Yin organ, the small intestine.  This is the organ where the most extensive process of digestion and absorption of foods and nutrient take place.

With Qigong we dance/practice movements to nourish our being with compassion towards joy and happiness.   Some of the many movements connecting the  Heart meridian are  the “Coming and going of the waves, Letting up a balloon, the Swan spreads it wings, Turning your body to view a distant  Full Moon and the Lotus is Rising from the Water.” “Turning the Ball of Light” connects the Small Intestine meridian. These flowing and peaceful stretching movements with the breath work feel so good. For example, the Lotus flower symbolizes Harmony and Love, Peace and Compassion and more. When we practice the Lotus movements, we envision rising up through the muck and the mud to become a flower resonating with purification and growth and happiness. This is a favorite movement with my classes.

Come join us to return to your Heart during these Lotus days of summer with Qigong on Thursdays at 2 P.M. and at 6:15 P.M.

The class lasts for 1 hour with a charge of $10.00

With Qi Blessings and Gratitude,

Karen

Wellness in the Workplace

by Tracey A. Smith, M.Ed., CTRS

For many, the workplace environment has become increasingly intense. The extremely high levels of stress are due in part to companies re-organizing and restructuring, and employee layoffs. Fewer people are left to do more. With most of our awake hours spent in the workplace with co-workers, we may find that we are not bringing our best selves home but rather arriving home to our families with our energy depleted. How can we change this?

Our work place environment is full of all types of energies and vibrations (i.e. healing, negative, energizing, positive, competitive, cooperative, fast-paced, draining). Energy is everywhere, and it is felt in our bodies. Do you know what your body feels like when it is low on energy?  Low vibrational energy impacts our productivity, creativity and relationship building – at the workplace and everywhere in our lives.

Being more mindful of taking a holistic approach to our self-care includes focusing on our wellness in the workplace. We can learn to be more purposeful in rituals and tips to increase well-being while at work. Healing is a daily practice. Here are a few tips you may want to include to design your own work lifestyle.

•  Positive affirmations to start your day
•  Use of aromas for self and office (essential oils) – helps shift energy
•  Look out the window toward the sky or look at a picture of your favorite scenic place
• Take time to do desktop yoga
• Be mindful of eating your lunch slowly, chewing slowly, and drinking water after you finish eating. Take time for lunch!!!!

As the owner of Wellness WRKS LLC, I offer a variety of Wellness in the Workplace workshops and trainings designed to create a culture of wellness in your agency or corporation. This is experienced best in a “Top down approach”, empowering administration and management, and then bringing the learning to employees, so that all can recognize their widest spectrum of potential and leadership. Clients served by these organizations then have the opportunity to experience the same.

The Workplace Wellness workshops use creative interactive tools. Primary objectives of all programs include:

·         To increase an awareness of the need for self-care and well-being in the workplace

·         To increase productivity, performance & enthusiasm

·         To increase evidence of risk management & decreased burnout/apathy

·         To increase evidence of healthy work habits, leadership & stress management

·         To assist with conflict transformation and participants’ positive interactions when facilitating change and re-organizing company structure.

 In light of our present economic climate, the workshops can be a refreshing adjunct to stress management and positive change for your employees. We also provide program development consultation and train-the-trainer programming in the following areas: Training and Workshop Facilitation, Diversity Training & Cross Cultural Communication, Conflict Transformation, Re-Motivation and Lifestyle Management. To learn more, go to  www.wellnesswrksllc.com  

I am interested in learning more about your mission, vision, programs and challenges. Together, we can develop customized wellness action plans and develop a wellness mission for your organization. I also love helping organizations design meaningful and enriching organizational retreats.  

To contact me regarding these valuable services, email wwellnessworks@msn.com or call 215-605-3221

Resiliency through Nutrition: Turning Genes On and Off with Diet

Authored by Erin Murphy, MS Nutrition candidate at MUIH in collaboration with Georgia Tetlow, MD

Did you know there are little chemical groups decorating your DNA like beads on a string?  When we say DNA, we are referring to the set of genes that you inherited from your parents.  Depending on your diet and lifestyle, these decorative beads can move around on the string causing certain genes to be expressed (turned on) and others repressed (turned off).  So the phrase “it’s in my genes!” only tells half of the story…

The other half of the story comes from a scientific field called epigenetics.  Epi- means “outside of” and so epigenetics studies all of the factors outside of our genes that affect the way our bodies operate in the world.  These factors include nutrition, physical activity, hormones, social interaction, stress, exposure to toxins, and more [1].  From an empowered point of view, this means that YOU can consciously make choices that positively affect the expression of your genes through dietary and lifestyle modifications.  In fact, future research may lead to using techniques such as nutrition interventions to prevent, delay, or treat common complex diseases [2]. 

So how can you use nutrition to ensure that the beads on your string are stringing together the picture of a healthy body?  Dietary factors such as macronutrients, micronutrients, phytochemicals (found in plants), antioxidants, fatty acids, and polyphenols (also found in plants) affect the way that our cells interpret the genetic code and translate it into biological processes.  To ensure that your cells are top-notch translators, eat a diverse and balanced diet rich in whole unprocessed foods such as nuts, seeds, fish, leafy vegetables, liver, organic meats, whole grains, and other plant-based foods to add many of the key epigenetic regulators to your diet.

In the spirit of community and education, next time you hear someone say “it’s in my genes!” you can share this resource to remind them of the power for change that is still “in their hands” and together we can lead each other towards health. 

­­­­­­

Sources:

1.       Dauncey, M.J. (2013).  Genomic and Epigenomic Insights into Nutrition and Brain

Disorders.  Nutrients, 5(3), 887-914.

2.       McKay, J.A., & Mathers, J.C. (2011).  Diet induced epigenetic changes and their

implications for health.  Acta Physiologica (Oxford, England), 202(2), 103-

118. 

Erin Murphy is an M.S. candidate in Nutrition at Maryland University of Integrative Health and the administrative medical assistant for Philadelphia Integrative Medicine.  Dr. Georgia Tetlow is the CEO of Philadelphia Integrative Medicine (http://www.philly-im.com/) and combines the best of conventional and alternative medicine to inspire you and give you the tools to care for yourself and be well.