Writing a Tribute or Praise Poem

by Elizabeth Venart

Eulogies provide an opportunity to reflect on a person’s life, sharing who they were and what they meant to us. The Cambridge Dictionary defines eulogy as “a speech, piece of writing, or poem containing great praise, especially for someone who recently died or retired from work.”  However, eulogies need not be reserved exclusively for funerals and endings. Tributes and praise poetry are additional spoken and written forms that celebrate and honor. The Academy of American Poets defines a praise poem as “a poem of tribute or gratitude.” [Insert link to: https://poets.org/glossary/praise-poem]. Praise poetry and singing have been (and continue to be) a significant practice in Africa and in cultures around the world. Praise poets perform at ceremonies, rituals, and festivities and use storytelling to capture the essence of the person being praised.  

“Your life is a poem,” proclaims Naomi Shihab Nye. We make poems by observing life and writing it down. Odes and tribute poems honor a specific subject of our observations and affection. They need not rhyme, and you need not know poetry. A list can be a poem. Any time we speak from the heart, our love is a living poem.

You know what you love about the people in your life. Maybe you just need some time to reflect — and a gentle prompt — to begin gathering your thoughts.  

Start with one person. Brainstorm a list of everything about the person that you see and appreciate. Looking through old photographs may help jog your memory. Personality, behaviors, strengths, unique qualities and habits, specific experiences you have shared. The simple words I love you are powerful, and details infuse life and meaning into that sentiment. Details show “I see you” and “I adore all these very specific things about you.” Tributes, both prose and poetry, can be built from everyday remembrances. Our descriptions provide snapshots, glimpses into a person, a relationship, a life being lived.

After writing the tribute toast for my friend’s birthday, I felt inspired to write another for my longtime friend who is moving from Pennsylvania to Denver. She is vibrant, full of energy, has strong opinions and a great sense of humor. I integrated shared memories, funny facts, and descriptions of how she shows up in the world. Here is a sample:

At my wedding, got us laughing, gobbling up red roses.
Dramatic toast, sang an Aria, did silly dance move poses.
Loves restaurants, Thai, comfort food, ordering lots of dishes.
Mac and cheese, roasted duck. Just skip the smelly fishes!

Having caught the writing bug by this time, I wrote several additional tributes in that same week. It was a delight to sit with pen and paper reflecting on everything I loved about the people in my life. Memories and fun details started springing to mind more easily. In writing each person’s tribute poem, I landed in the final line on my love and appreciation for them. The writing was a way to say “I see you” and “I love all I see.” My poems included one for a beloved child in the family. Keeping with a fun rhyming pattern that she would find engaging, I focused on things she loves and does right now. Children change so quickly. The poem reflects a snapshot in time of who she is in this moment, knowing some things will stay constant and other things (like her interests) may change. Here is an excerpt:

Fan of rainbows and purple, hearts and bright pink.
She’s clever, determined, can stare and not blink.
She’s playful and silly, loves gymnastics and soccer.
Loved her from first moment I held and rocked her.

“Your life is a poem,” proclaims Naomi Shihab Nye. We make poems by observing life and writing it down. Odes and tribute poems honor a specific subject of our observations and affection. They need not rhyme, and you need not know poetry. A list can be a poem. Any time we speak from the heart, our love is a living poem.

As we approach this February’s celebration of Valentine’s Day, why not carve out some time for creativity and put pen to page to honor those you love? Do you have a friend you would like to honor? A parent? A sibling? A teacher? A child? Perhaps you would like to write a love poem to yourself — as you are today or maybe an honoring of yourself at a different age.

Writing can be a lot of fun, but sometimes it is hard to get started. Since I’ve been having so much fun writing praise and tribute poems, I’d love to support you with yours. Poet and women’s writing group leader Tracie Nichols joins me in offering a free two-hour writing workshop (via Zoom) on Saturday, February 4th from 10 am - 12 pm. Our time together will include meditation, journal prompts, list-making, and invitations to speak from the heart. While our focus will be on one person in your life you want to honor, the process we share is one you can use again and again to tap into love — and create a piece that expresses it.

Writing is not the only way to share our love for what makes someone dear to us. Musicians write songs of tribute, some with words and some instrumental. Some photographers are very adept at capturing the spirit of their subjects, illuminating light, grace, zest, or other personality traits. Some artists draw or paint their loved ones, an expression that highlights their inner beauty. Creativity has no bounds. Neither does love. May it spring forth effortlessly from you and embrace you. To share love is to experience it. And that is always a good thing.

Elizabeth Venart, M.Ed., NCC, LPC, is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Founder and Director of The Resiliency Center of Greater Philadelphia. She specializes in supporting Highly Sensitive Persons in embracing their strengths and living authentic, joyful lives. An Approved Consultant in EMDR Therapy and a Certified IFS Therapist, she offers clinical consultation and professional trainings to other therapists. She is passionate about supporting people in healing from trauma, making sense to themselves, decoding the puzzles that keep them stuck, and living their best, most fulfilling lives. Learn more at ElizabethVenart.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Woman and Wild

Woman and Wild

I can't tell you

the first time the wild

whispered into my 

tiny child heart

because the wild

has always been here...

always an undeniable

aliveness tucked just

behind my ribs

stretching from 

collar bone into the

rich bowl of my (now)

crone woman hips.

we occupy each other

as woman and wild

creating spaces

where life flourishes

each of us

utterly

unique

 each of us

utterly

interdependent

each of us

utterly

at home

© 2018 Tracie Nichols

Spring Perspective

by Tracie Nichols

In the spring, I wander the course of the stream that skirts the bottom of my yard. It’s one of hundreds – possibly thousands – of small, nameless, feeder streams striping the landscape here, meandering towards rivers that empty into the Atlantic Ocean.

It’s something I’ve been doing for over twenty years, now. As you can imagine, this stream and I have seen some life together. Over time, I’ve come to think of this wandering little waterway as family.

So this spring walk is when I discover where the stream is now, after the winds, snowmelt and hard rains of the winter months. By visiting before the riot of jewelweed and other creek bank plants overrun the terrain, I can see where banks have been undercut or collapsed. It’s easy to notice where the streambed has cut more deeply into the red sandstone bedrock, or where trees have fallen or held their ground.

This walk is also when I discover where I am, now and how my course has changed through winter. As I walk and notice the stream, I also notice myself. Where I’m feeling undercut, or rebuilt. Where I’m letting go and where I’m continuing to stand my ground.

Walking the length of this small stream is a moving meditation. An exercise in deep listening and deep presence, teaching me about cycles of death and rebirth in the land and in myself. Walking the length of this small stream offers me the gift of perspective, and anchors me in the reassuringly unending cycles of this land.

Tracie Nichols, M.A., IAC believes that if there ever was a time when the deep perspective of 50-ish+ sensitive, introverted womxn is needed, it’s now. She is a mentor, poet, aromatherapist and rebel crone creating spaces where sister Rebel Crones can find community, information and support to unfurl their voices, be who they choose to be and do what they choose to do. You can learn more about her at tracienichols.com.

Reimagining Resolutions. Letting Go Of Lists.

by Tracie Nichols

Around this time of year, many of us do a year-end review of our lives or our businesses, or both. We look at what we accomplished. What we’re proud of or what we didn’t do so well. Then we go ahead and plan for the next year. We make resolutions or set intentions; create affirmations or to-do lists.

The thing is, we tend to squeeze it all into a few weeks in December and January because this is the traditional turning point in our year, based on the Gregorian calendar.

But, cramming a year-end review and coming year planning process into a few short weeks feels distinctly unwieldy and unnatural. Add in that many of us are also celebrating holidays during those weeks, and the whole experience can tip over into “That’s overwhelming!” territory.

So why do we do it?

If you think about it, part of our urge to review and plan at this time of year likely rises from times when we were more deeply tied to the land. Both through the natural rhythms of seasons and of agricultural rhythms like harvesting, winnowing, and storing seeds for the following year’s planting.

But, and here’s the important part, the process would have been spread over two seasons, not a few short weeks or days.

For example, autumn (late September, October, November) is the natural time for reviewing what we’ve learned and done and for sorting and consolidating what we’ve accumulated during the spring and summer. Like trees dropping leaves and squirrels gathering nuts and seeds we can follow nature’s guidance and drop extraneous ideas, beliefs, or actual stuff and seed (or archive) for later what’s truly useful and nourishing.

Then, during the quieter months of early winter (later December through January and early February) we can look over those stored seeds (ideas, insights) and plan for the coming planting and growing season.

Whether planning actual gardens, creating a career strategy, making a plan for spending more time with family or expanding time spent doing something that relaxes or restores us, doing the actual planning over a few months gives us the time and space to be very intentional about our choices.

We don’t have to make resolutions or lists on January 1^st just because that’s the way things have always been done. Indeed, we don’t need to make resolutions or lists at all.

If we choose to do any reviewing or planning, let’s be infinitely kind to ourselves and spend time throughout the autumn and winter thoughtfully crafting something that fits our lives, aligns with who we are and nourishes us along the way.

Tracie Nichols, M.A. is a holistic business and life coach, aromatherapist and poet. With 10 years experience as a woman business owner, 7 years holistic mentoring/coaching experience, 30 years as an aromatherapist, and a masters degree in human transformation, her work is about standing in solidarity with body-centered and highly sensitive women, walking with them as they discover/rediscover their body-wise, empathetic, intuitive strengths. Supporting them as they bring their whole selves to their life and work. Helping them be accountable to themselves and their dreams of making whatever difference they choose to make. You can reach Tracie at https://tracienichols.com/ or tracie@tracienichols.com. Or connect with her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tracietnichols/ or Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EcoAudientTracieNichols. 

What Places or Activities Refill Your Well When You're Seeking Inspiration?

Reflection from the Community of Practitioners at The Resiliency Center:

Elizabeth Campbell – Hiking and yoga refill my bucket when I need inspiration.  I often find the answers I'm looking for when I give myself space in those ways.  I also love working with kids, seeing their joy and hard work in play therapy inspires me daily.

Tracie Nichols - Nearly anywhere outdoors refills my inspiration well. I also love lingering in small art museums. They're digestible. Accessible. And the art feeds my visually inspired soul. 

Brittiney George – For little burst of brain inspiration (and breaks), I love Etsy.  It fascinates me all the creative ways people use different mediums, materials, and color.  For ongoing inspiration, I love to play with new movement tools, toys, and classes. And when I need inspiration at the end of a long day, I like to listen to NPR's podcasts: On Being and Fresh Air.

Elizabeth Venart – Looking out at the ocean and listening to the waves, especially a night under the full moon, the light glistening off the water as the waves roll in. Watching a sunset slowly reveal itself and change, marveling at the colors as they open and unfold in all directions. A walk in the woods. Attending a live music event, especially jazz and blues with soulful singers and spontaneous improvisation of sound – seeing people completely immersed in the feeling of the music and breathing life into it.

A Satisfying Ending Needs A Good Beginning

by Tracie Nichols

A few years ago I drove my youngest son to New England to start a dream summer job at a mountain bike park.

My son loves downhill biking. LOVES it. He’d be working with a good friend. They’d found an apartment they could share. He could save money for school and do something he loves all summer long. On paper, this seemed like a charmed opportunity for him.

The trip was a disaster in nearly every way possible.

Esme, my faithful orange car, broke down. When we finally reached his apartment the landlord was unprepared and unavailable, meaning no key and no moving in. This after many text messages confirming our arrival time. At the mountain, his future boss was out sick. He couldn’t check in and get his work schedule or his ride pass so he couldn't be at the mountain that day.

Marooned with no place to be, we stood there at the base of the mountain he'd hoped to be riding all summer, worried and bewildered.

It felt like a truly awful beginning, but it was really a truly awful ending to a journey begun without focused attention from everyone involved. The beginning actually happened weeks before; a tiny trail of haphazard communication among just my son and his friend.

They were communicating through the exhaustion and worry of their finals, the busyness of a sister’s graduation and the chaos of visiting family. Their passion and enthusiasm were driving the bus. Thoughtfulness was half a mile behind, out of breath and losing ground fast. Despite good intentions, this bus had “Yikes!” written all over it.

All of us had divided attention when talking about this opportunity: kids, parents, landlords and employers. As my son and I stood at the bottom of the mountain that day, we both realized we’d had gut feelings of unease we shrugged off because everything looked good on the surface. And, because it seemed like such an exciting, not-to-be-missed opportunity.

What we all learned from our experience is that beginnings have their best chance of becoming satisfying endings when everyone involved commits their full, thoughtful attention to the planning process. If they share gut feelings as they arise, and respectfully call out anyone who isn’t fully participating.

Clear, honest communication is essential at every step. I know that seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how many endeavors are launched driven by passion and enthusiasm without the map of thoughtful, honest communication.

The next time you’re beginning something new, anything from getting a new dog to transitioning out of a corporate job to open your own business, here are a few suggestions for making it a good beginning:

1.     Check in with your intuition and ask if this project is truly viable. If it involves considerable resources and affects the lives of other people, consider verifying your choice with trusted advisors.

2.     Ask yourself what a satisfying journey will look and feel like. How would you like this process to end? Be sure you have a clearly drawn map, and then turn your passion loose to keep you moving.

3.     Enjoy your passion and enthusiasm, and consciously invite your mind and intuition to join the party. (Deep breaths can help navigate over-exuberant enthusiasm.)

4.     Think about who needs to be part of the conversation. Does it feel realistic to ask for their focused attention for this project? If not, is there someone else you can invite?

5.     Pause often and ask yourself if you are fully present. Are mind, enthusiasm and gut all paying attention? How about everyone else?

6.     Enjoy the ride!

Tracie Nichols is a holistic business coach offering coaching that’s comfortably practical with its roots in nature-informed solutions. She helps body-centered practitioners and highly sensitive women build successful businesses guided by the wisdom of their bodies and the natural world. You can learn more or drop her a line at TracieNichols.com.

At 55

by Tracie Nichols (2017)

Rounded,

changing,

graced with

radiating

spirals

across pale

softening

surface.

Me.

Worn

like a

river stone.

Deepening lines,

tracing life

trajectory

over

cheek bone

hillocks,

curving around

eyes that

have

seen.

Deeper

beauty

surfacing.

Truer

beauty

shining.

Passing

time reveals

strength

of my

river stone

woman self.

50 Years in My Skin

by Tracie Nichols (2015)

Fifty years in my skin...

there’s something

richly

beautiful

sacred

about the

lengthening swell

of breasts

and belly

silvery scar-rivers

memorializing

expansions

accommodating

womb-borne

children

and soul-

borne wounds

tracing

paths

where

pleasure

has been

given

and

received

50 years in

this body and

everything

about me

is softer

even the fierce

heart-fire

gleaming

in my eyes

these days

it warms

and invites

though once

(if I’m to

believe

my memories)

it incited

Beauty in darkness

by Tracie Nichols (2015)

the moon

a ripe peach

suspended

delicately

momentary

flare of

orbed

artistry

succulent

tithe

to the

violet sky

offered

on the

laced fingers

of distant

trees

Emerging from a deep winter night

by Tracie Nichols (2016)

rich scent of

coffee

distant

chickadee glee

yellow leaves

against

mother-of-pearl

sky

and my heart

all scars and exquisiteness

beguiled by morning

cascades into

love

all over

again

Autumn and The Art of Gracefully Letting Go

by Tracie Nichols, MA, CCSP

Fall is my favorite season. I love the colors, the way the earth smells, and I especially enjoy having fewer humid days. But, what I most love is how the seasonal rhythm encourages me to deepen my personal development journey.

Every year autumn invites us to distill all we have acquired, learned, and experienced through spring and summer. New habits, freshly discovered strengths, new ways of seeing ourselves - these are all integrated and refined to guide us as we discern the next right steps.

Autumn also demonstrates the art of gracefully releasing what we no longer choose to carry. Take a moment to notice what your wild neighbors are doing, now. Trees release leaves. Plants let go of what is above ground and pull their energy into their roots. Deer drop antlers.

Consider consciously aligning with autumn’s gentle releasing rhythm to let go of beliefs, fears, or habits that no longer nurture you.

Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

Spend uninterrupted time outdoors observing and feeling the pace of life in your ecosystem. Let it sink into your bones. 

As you watch leaves fall, visualize the things you choose to release drifting away from you.

If you rake leaves or pull weeds, imagine gathering those things that no longer serve and composting them with the garden trimmings.

On foggy autumn mornings, imagine that the fog represents the things you are releasing. See them being evaporated as the sun rises.

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
    love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Listen to the poem here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/hnifn3rf6mndsud/Wild%20Geese%20~%20Mary%20Oliver.m4a?dl=0

Tracie Nichols, MA, CCSP is a Holistic Career Coach who believes we can learn a lot from nature about being happy humans. She offers individual career coaching and strategy sessions, as well as classes helping highly sensitive and multipotentialed people create a meaningful, enjoyable work life. Learn more about Tracie at tracienichols.com or connect with her at tracie@tracienichols.com or 215-527-5457.

Possibility and Presence through Transition

by Tracie Nichols

What if, by holding our questions a little longer, we saw answers where we least expected them…” Victoria Kindred Keziah

As day transits to night, I’m wrestling with words for this article about transition, specifically about the possibilities found in times of transition. I’ve been resisting the urge to “power through” and reach the end. Holding my questions a little longer, looking for a bit of unexpected inspiration.  

I notice that outside my window, low-angle sunlight flickers through sycamore leaves teased into movement by cooling daytime air. I’ve held my questions until I reached this transitional moment of the day. There are certain things - certain qualities - that can only exist in transitional zones like this late summer evening. Things like golden sunlight, rising breezes, and cricket song.

When we’re talking about transitions in our lives, the same principle holds. There are certain possibilities that only exist in the complex both-and state between problem and solution, ending and beginning, here and there.

Biologists call the transitional space between two distinct states of being an ecotone. In nature, these are places like a stand of shrubs between forest and field, or a reed bed between land and water. In our lives, these are the uncomfortable in-transition places between situations like being partnered and being single, or between one career and another.

Often we only notice ecotones in passing, if at all, our goal being to get out of the discomfort of between by moving quickly from here to there.

“Possibility only lives on the edge.” “Presence is the only way to walk the edge...” Margaret J. Wheatley

Translated from Greek, “ecotone” means “house of tension.” While tension can equate to unhelpful stress, it also means the productive, supportive kind of tension that our muscles exert to hold our bodies upright (without which we’d be floppy floor-dwellers), or the motivating tension of curiosity and anticipation.

To find the productive tension that opens us to possibility in our personal ecotones, we need to approach life transitions mindfully, bringing our full presence to the dance.

Then tension suspends us, holds us upright so we can notice possibilities being created by our here and there rubbing together sparking new ideas and opening paths we never would have seen had we only focused on reaching there.

The next time life tosses transition into your path, I invite you to bring your whole presence to the experience, be willing to surrender to healthy tension, and notice both what is and the unique potential of what could be.

Tracie Nichols, MA, is a Certified Career Services Provider with a Master’s degree in Human and Organizational Transformation and a passion for helping people explore their in-between places. She offers individual career coaching and strategy sessions, as well as classes helping people create a meaningful, enjoyable work life. Learn more about Tracie at tracienichols.com or connect with her at tracie@tracienichols.com or 215-527-5457.