Loving your Emotions

by Catherine McLaughlin, MA, NCC, LPC

Emotions are defined as “a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others; instinctive or intuitive feeling as distinguished from reasoning or knowledge.” In other words, emotions are something that comes from within us, beyond our control, and naturally occurring. Despite what we may have been taught, emotions are not bad, wrong, or abnormal. Receiving this message can cause us to repress our emotions; to push them down or brace against them. Over time, this “emotional backlog” can cause issues. There’s nowhere for the emotions to go, but they have to come out. If you’ve ever had a clogged pipe in your house, then you know what happens next - the water just starts spraying out everywhere, all over everything. What a mess! 

And our repressed emotions don’t usually come out as what they were to begin with – they’ve morphed into something else. Health problems, intense anger, anxiety, depression… all painful expressions of the feelings hiding inside for so long. But there is a better way.

Feel your feeling – instead of shying away from feelings, as much as you can, allow yourself to feel them. This may take some work, as we have all received messages in our lives that some feelings are “bad” or “wrong.” Give yourself permission to sit with and really feel your feeling. It may be uncomfortable. But it will not last forever.

Acknowledge and name the feeling – what is it, exactly? Are you angry, or are you infuriated? Sad, or distraught? It is especially helpful to give your feeling a specific name. 

Allow the feeling to leave – when you allow yourself to feel and name your feeling, it should naturally resolve. Let it! Unnecessarily holding on to feelings can cause pain and suffering. 

By feeling, naming, and allowing emotions to resolve, we’re following the natural path of feelings moving through our bodies. If this is a struggle for you, or if you know you have an “emotional backlog” of your own, a therapist could help you to work through this process. We provide a safe place to experience the emotions and feelings that have been clogging up the pipe for so long. And we have lots of buckets to catch all the spraying water. 

Catherine McLaughlin loves working with people to identify and experience their emotions in order to feel like themselves again. She specializes in issues of adolescence, and working with artists and creatives. Contact her at 267-800-5073 or Catherine@cjmcounseling.com for a free 20 minute phone consultation or to get started in therapy today.

Using the winter to connect with our emotions

by Catherine McLaughlin

Winter. A time to turn inward and rest, to slow down and find stillness. But for most of us, the holiday season is in full swing. The stark contrast between the calm of nature and the hustle bustle of the holidays can feel confusing. How do we honor our internal drive, while taking part in the holidays? While we can’t actually hibernate, we can do things that encourage self-sustenance, reflection, and connection. Recognizing that we are all short on time in December, here are some smartphone apps to help you through.

Mood Meter App – Developed by researchers at Yale University, Mood Meter helps you to build your emotional intelligence, become more aware of the nuances of how you’re feeling, and how to stay or shift in a desired emotional direction. Cost is 99 cents, and it is available on Apple and Android.

Insight Timer App – this free app serves as a home base for everything meditation - over 7,000 free guided meditations, connection with a community, discussion groups, and local meet-ups. Cost is Free and it’s available on Apple and Android.

Headspace App - this is an app that teaches people to meditate. Using incredibly simple and accessible language, you’re guided through meditations in short increments. There is the option to purchase more instruction once you’re in app. Cost is Free, and it’s available on Apple and Android.

Catherine McLaughlin, LPC, practices Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) at the Resiliency Center.  If this therapeutic approach sounds like a good fit for you, please give her a call at 267-800-5073 or email Catherine@cjmcounseling.com for a complimentary consultation.

Emotions and Compassion

by Catherine McLaughlin

When we experience emotional pain, our natural tendency is to push “bad” feelings away before we fully experience them.  To be alone with them.  These feelings can get trapped in our bodies and cause physical and psychological pain.

Many approaches to therapy teach us that if we think or behave differently, our pain will naturally go away.

However, this focus on changing thoughts and behaviors doesn’t work for everyone.

There is another way. We can free up the unfelt “bad” feelings when we experience them in the presence of compassion and lovingkindness.  Facing feelings together, we learn that we are not alone in our pain and find a way back to ourselves. 

Catherine McLaughlin, LPC, practices Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) at the Resiliency Center.  If this therapeutic approach sounds like a good fit for you, please give her a call at 267-800-5073 or email Catherine@cjmcounseling.com for a complimentary consultation.