Reflection

by Jeff Katowitz, LMFT

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
― Søren Kierkegaard

Driving up through upstate New York, it is an all too familiar routine over the course of the last three years. Wait…my son is a junior in college? It can’t be. What is going on? Last week, I accompanied my younger son on a flight out west as he narrows in on – with great anticipation – his university of choice.  Let’s backtrack for a moment – I’m not sure I can wrap my head around all of these moving parts. These thoughts seem to be racing endlessly. How is it that at one moment I can be examining and collaborating with my son on a potential pathway, choosing institutions to study and explore and prepare for “real” life (whatever that means) and then, in a seeming blink, we are here?

I load up a Uhaul trailer, packing what I calculate to be twice as much stuff as what I lugged back and forth in my college days. And I thought I had a lot. It is winter. My son is ready to travel and study abroad for the spring semester. I can remember in my high school and college days pondering what it would be like to be carried away to some foreign land. No – too scary for me back then. I wanted to remain on campus and maintain my commitment to my familiar routines; that’s just what felt right.  

I keep thinking about time and drawing comparisons between my life in my early twenties and what lies ahead for my sons. So many moments, achievements, heartbreaks, fears, and anticipations. Round and around and around I go: I did this, he’s doing that, how interesting, exciting. Brings a grin to my face, time and time again. I am finding myself discussing with my family, clients and sometimes acquaintances this movement through time and space, but it is more about looking back and reflecting.

Reflecting really sets into motion a thought process and taps into a well of curiosity. I am aware of times in the past when I may have gotten lost in the regret trap – the “should have”, “would have,” “could have,” “I haven’t.” Fortunately for me lately, I don’t find myself trapped anywhere near regret. Instead, I am energized and moved by the experience of what I’d have to call amazement.

My amazement springs from the wide-angle lens I have now on my life, a vantage point that only decades of life can bring. From this perspective, I can examine what is in my immediate purview and from there introduce curiosity about the wider context, the patterns and sequences. Life becomes a puzzle through this lens. Life is always taking shape but also evolving into new happenings and adventures – consisting of random people, places, events, and choices that led us here. And the new experiences and choices that will lead us an unknown there in the future.

The rate of events that come and go like scenes in a play are read at a very high pace. It’s hard to digest – significant experiences come and go so rapidly that I am trying to catch my breath. But I am not pushing against it; rather, I am speechless and almost awestruck. The passing of time never felt this way when I was in my youth; then, it felt more like a looking forward to the next chapter. Now I am hoping the next chapters are read slower, so I can really capture the essence of what was just experienced.

I imagine, for some people, the process of reflection may trigger sadness or a cycle of regret and emotions surrounding choices that they have made. I empathize with this group and the experience of pain that can arise. As we embark on a new year, I invite you to consider a process of reflection with openness and curiosity (rather than an old pattern of sadness or regret). Consider the question, “How did my journey lead me to this moment?” And then join me in anticipating with great interest and awareness the “What is next?” of life.

Jeff Katowitz, LMFT has been practicing marriage and family therapy for over 26 years. His specialties include helping families in transition (i.e. separation and divorce, grief and loss, blended families, raising children on the spectrum and those with special needs). He has been practicing at the Resiliency Center since 2008. Jeff can be contacted at JeffKatowitzlmft@gmail.com or directly at (215) 307-0055.

21st Century Wellness on College Campuses

by Tracey A. Smith

June is a month for graduations and the start of summer. For parents getting ready to send their High School Seniors off to college – or to send older students back to campus for another year this August – you may have a lot of questions about how you can best assure your child’s well-being when they are no longer living at home. If you are a student trying to choose the right college campus setting, you may be curious about how universities are similar and different in addressing your wellness and promoting positive wellbeing. We may have heard a lot about stressors and challenges facing students on college campuses all over the country but less about programs specifically geared to support students with these challenges. You may be asking … how does a university address college students’ needs while upholding their mission and values? What resources or strategies does the university have in place that can assist with college students’ well-being? What opportunities will there be for college students to grow in their self-care?

What's happening on university and colleges campuses these days? Quite often you will find that student health, wellness and recreation centers are the hub for student health and engagement. Most universities provide a holistic approach to campus living, working, and learning. For many students, this may be their first time living away from home. For some, it will be their first time independently exercising life, problem-solving and decision-making skills. The Wellness programs and activities found on college campuses support students in making positive behavioral and lifestyle changes.

Universities’ comprehensive health and wellness services will include programs geared to support students in areas such as:

·      alcohol & substance abuse

·      healthy relationships, including information about dating violence

·      women and men’s health, including sexual health

·      managing anxiety and depression

·      nutrition, finances, and tools for life after graduation

·      managing stress and anger

Most college campuses include free counseling services for students. This is an important resource to support students in navigating the many changes and challenges they face during this time of transition. In addition to counseling services, academic advisors, professors, and residence life staff can provide additional support.

I have the unique opportunity to be a Life Coach on a college campus. It is a very rewarding experience, being employed by a university that values health and wellbeing. The service allows me the opportunity to help students navigate the college experience from freshman year to senior year. I assist the students in all areas of wellness, not just academic (intellectual wellness), but the whole student (emotional, spiritual, interpersonal, and physical). I am able to witness tremendous growth and development as students find their way in living their lives on their own terms. It is energizing to coordinate and provide programs that encourage this transformation.

Universities experience many challenges in light of the high levels of stress impacting our society. Challenges to academic success can include finances, poor sleep, unhealthy relationships, unhealthy and addictive use of social media, depression, anxiety, poor nutrition, trauma, and family issues. There is hope. It is encouraging to observe greater engagement of students in health and wellness programming that supports their needs. Below are some practices that have been documented to support healthy living on campuses.

Students First  

Student-driven programs and activities work the best. Students have formed Wellness Ambassador and Peer Education Groups and have designed and implemented special events from physical challenge activities and “healthy campus” weeks to mindfulness activities. The use of Health and Wellness Surveys can provide staff with vital information about student interests and needs.

Collaboration 

Calling All Practitioners! Most universities draw upon the expertise of outside health practitioners in order to provide additional wellness services and speaking engagements. This can include wellness education, counseling, yoga, trauma informed services, health education, and spirituality.

Campuses often offer a multitude of services, organizations, and events that can be used to support wellness. These can include student health services, campus life programs, student organizations, athletics, dietary services, career services, environmental services, disability offices, and LGBTQ/diversity groups. Collaboration may also appear as an intergenerational program that includes employees, students, community members and the online community. Thinking broader, collaboration may include linking with larger nonprofit agencies such as Michele Obama’s Partnership for Healthy Campus Initiative https://www.ahealthieramerica.org and National Consortium for Building Healthy Academic Communities https://healthyacademics.organd the

American Cancer Society https://www.cancer.org/.

Community Integration

Developing community partnerships is the key. This enables you to provide more comprehensive health and wellness services. Most colleges have strong alliances with outside healthcare agencies that help them to best meet the needs of students, staff, and faculty.

In conclusion, college campuses provide young people with the information, strategies, and supports that can serve as the foundation for a lifetime of healthy life practices, relationships, and resiliency. We can encourage students to make connections, access the services available, and experiment with new wellness practices can empower them to launch into the world as happy, healthy, and resilient adults. Ultimately, this benefits young people and also their families, friends, coworkers, and the communities in which they live.

Tracey A. Smith, M,Ed., CTRS, owner of Wellness W.R.K.S. LLC is a Certified Recreational Therapist, Wellness Lifestyle Management Educator, and Trainer. She is also a Life Coach at Cheyney University of Pennsylvania. Enthusiastically, she provides wellness education programs, workshops, trainings, conferences & retreats to companies, schools and community organizations to promote self-care and well-being. She specializes in Workplace Wellness and team-building for remote employees. To learn more about Tracey and how you can bring her creative, experiential workshops and consultations to your agency or business, contact her at tracey@wellnesswrksllc.com or 215-605-3221 or visit her website [Insert link to: https://www.wellnesswrksllc.com/].