Staying Afloat Amidst Life’s Floods

 by Bernadette Dougherty, Psy.D

Storytelling has always been a large part of my life and family culture. I grew up an avid reader, rushing home from school to be immersed in a book until long past bedtime. 

Throughout my childhood and early adulthood, I was fortunate to spend a great deal of time with my grandparents every week. They often shared stories of their lives and journey with me, my father’s parents having grown up in war-torn Ukraine, living in labor and refugee camps across Europe. My mother’s family immigrated from Italy, and they were separated for decades before they were all able to come to the United States. 

As a child, my family’s stories fit well with the fairytales and fantasy books I read, tales of overcoming adversity and good eventually winning over evil. When I became older, I realized that these were not simply stories, but real and very painful events that occurred to the people I loved. This realization was the initial catalyst for my curiosity with risk and resilience: 

What allows some individuals to survive and even thrive in spite of painful events and trauma?

Recent world events and devastation by hurricanes throughout the southeastern United States brought this question into sharp focus again. Whether we are directly impacted by large-scale disasters or not, it is heartbreaking to see how lives can be turned upside down in an instant.  

None of us are strangers to pain and adversity. At times it can feel like wherever we look there are horrible events occurring in our lives and in the world more broadly, yet we’re expected to continue functioning through it all. In times such as these, it can feel like any additional stressor threatens to pull us under the flood of stress and emotions. In addition, our brains are naturally constructed to prioritize negative information over the positive, often making it exceedingly difficult to think of anything other than the stressful event we are experiencing. 

Moments such as these, when painful situations occur repeatedly and it’s difficult to keep my head above the emotional flood, I have found that the first part of one of the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills is particularly helpful in staying afloat: Accumulating Positives in any and every way we can. Through purposely directing our attention to things we find enjoyable, we strengthen neural connections for positivity, increase much needed dopamine in the brain, and decrease our vulnerability to emotional stress. Focusing even on small things like beauty in our environment, a song we enjoy, or a soothing sensation works; we essentially boost ourselves above the emotional flood. Stringing along these positives during transition moments — like car rides and minutes in between meetings — can be a small and time-friendly way to accumulate positives despite many of our busy schedules. Allowing small positives to be present along with the pain can help us to feel more balanced and less emotionally flooded. As we experience changes throughout our lives, I encourage you to set aside time and space throughout your day and week, no matter how much or little, to accumulate positives and stay afloat. 

Bernadette Dougherty, Psy.D. is a Licensed Psychologist providing therapy for teens and adults. Her approach is collaborative and individualized to help clients create meaningful change. Specialties include anxiety, depression, emotion regulation, trauma, suicide, self-injury, stress, chronic pain/illness, LGBTQIA+ care, and insomnia. To learn more about her work and to schedule an initial consultation, reach out to her at bernadette.dougherty.psyd@gmail.com and 215-770-1845. 

Finding Your Feet After Years of Holding It Together

by Brittiney George, BS, MST, ICI, CEIM 

The body likes balance.  It likes connection.  It needs safety.  

The body is meant to move.

It will hold, brace, bend, twist, compress, or overextend until it finds the alignment required to keep it as safe as possible in whatever environment it is in.  

So, what happens to a body when movement has been taken away or the rules around movement are changed?  This happened on a global scale during the pandemic.  Our legs literally got removed from our daily life.  We were in conversations from the waist up.  We were encouraged not to connect, to move to close, or to go too far.  We were asked to be vigilant, to be on the alert, but also to shut down and not panic.  It was a strange, mixed message of movement for a body, for every-body, and I am still seeing the lingering effects in my practice. Maybe some of these observations feel familiar to you?

Pre-covid Holding Patterns: Upper body locks-people shouldered a lot. They would come in with tight necks, backs and shoulders.  The request was often to help them get their legs and feet back underneath them so they could stop shouldering so much and move more freely in their life

Covid Holding Patterns: Lower body locks.  It was almost as if standing still and holding it all together became so common that the legs, feet, and joints became locked in a rigid position.  Not being able to step out in the world created legs that were less flexible and mobile.  Relational patterns in the world began to reflect these moves as people began to move with less tolerance, flexibility, and adaptability to others.  

Current Pattern:  Head trying to find the feet again.  As the legs have come back online and shoulders are re-negotiating holding and releasing, I'm seeing feet show up in ways I've never seen.  It is as if the head and the feet are trying to figure out if they can trust each other.  The head is asking the feet-can I trust you and what you feel?  And the feet seem to be asking the head, do you even know what I am doing done here?  I’m having to negotiate new ground everywhere I go.  

If you’re trying to find your footing again in new terrain, I offer the insights below as a transitional balm for your system.

• Power of Your Hands:  your hands tell the rest of the body what move you are making (holding on, reaching for, letting go) and the rest of our body aligns accordingly.
• Power of Your Feet:  your feet let the body know the foundation you are on (shaky, sinking, solid) and are masters at adapting accordingly.
• Power of Your Nervous System:  your nervous system knows where you’ve been and where you are now and is a powerhouse in safety attunement.
• Power of Your Head:  it knows history and story, but it also knows movement.  Let it be an ally to your body and to your heart.  Together they make a powerful trifecta.

Brittiney George, BS, MST, ICI, CEIM, is a Master Somatic Therapist and Movement Practitioner specializing in Transformative Touch.  She is also the creator of the online comic www.thisweekwithjoy.com.  Her areas of specialty include working with highly sensitive persons (HSP’s), and helping people find movement when they feel stuck in life’s transitions.  Contact Brittiney at 610-389-7866 or movebackintolife@gmail.com.