by Elizabeth
Venart
Maybe you have to know the darkness
before you can appreciate the light.
– Madeleine L’Engle
What does it
mean to “know the darkness”? As this month steadily darkens until our shortest
day on the Winter Solstice, I sat with this quote, reflecting on our
relationship with light and dark. Is darkness something we ignore, avoid,
dread, or try to escape? Or is it something we can welcome? I am struck by the
dance we often do, the battle with the dark as it approaches, the push to do as
much and as fast as always despite the decrease in daylight. While a seeing
person may fear the dark or turn on more lights to obscure it, those born blind
have a different relationship to the darkness. Although others imagined her
inner world as a place of darkness, Helen Keller described it as rich and
vibrant, “golden,” and a “God-made world.”
While we may
find ourselves bracing in anticipation of the harsher realities of winter – with
its cold and its dark, we have another choice. Instead of pushing against the
natural rhythm of the season, we could find ways to accept winter
for what it is - a time to start over and build to renewal in the spring.
We can seek new and creative ways to connect with the season and move
within it, to celebrate the scarcity of light and welcome it into our daily
lives with a different perspective.
First, we may
find greater peace by simply accepting what is. There is less daylight in the
winter months. Winter really calls our attention to the ecosystem in which we
live. Instead of walking outside barefoot to get the mail, we must bundle up.
Our bodies may tense at the feel of the cold air on our face and hands. Instead
of wishing for summer’s light to return, what if we took time to appreciate the
gifts of the longer nights ahead? Noticing our reactions and negative
expectations, we can practice breathing into what is rather than bracing against, ignoring, or trying to change
it. This is a mindfulness practice that helps with physical pain and can also
support us in the changing of the seasons.
Accepting the
darkness, we may begin opening to the gifts these shorter days can bring. The
dark invites us to slow down, to rest and replenish our bodies and minds. Like
the bear, our bodies may feel a pull to hibernate. Sleep may come earlier and
be more restful in the darkness of the winter light. We may also feel pulled to
stay indoors and cuddle up under blankets, make soup, and listen to music in
the candlelight. In the quiet of the winter’s night, we have an opportunity to
go within and reflect. For some, meditation practice may be deeper. Others may
be inspired to write or draw, to create. Sinking into a favorite piece of
poetry or prose offers another way to explore our inner world. Allow the rhythm
and landscape of its words to sink into your being by reading it silently or
aloud three times, underlining or highlighting phrases that ring
true.
If you are
struggling with the dark, you may want to get curious about what it is,
specifically, that you “don’t like” about winter. You can then brainstorm creative
solutions to address it. For
example, if you crave more time outside, you could consider getting outside at
lunchtime, walking with friends in the early evening wearing headlamps, and
stargazing. If, instead, you notice yourself missing time with friends,
consider cultivating some new winter traditions for socializing – invite friends and family for big Sunday
dinners, go to the movies or host movie nights, enjoy singing around a piano or
playing music by the fire. If you
are less active in the winter, consider joining a gym or sports league, ice
skating, skiing, and sledding (not just for the kids!). Winter won’t offer us
the summer barbecue, time at the pool, or a weekend at the beach – but it has
the ability to be enriching and enjoyable in its own ways.
Some of the feelings of being “down” in the winter light are
connected to an expectations that we keep the same energy, pace, and routines
as the rest of the year. However, for those with recurrent depression, the
darker days may result in increased symptoms (Seasonal Affective
Disorder). In that case, solutions may include increasing exercise,
modifying diet, considering medication, and using special light boxes (which
have become much more affordable in recent years).
Finally, winter
also offers us creative ways to bring in Light. The longer days and cooler
nights invite us to build fires in our fireplaces and wood stoves, sit outside
around a firepit, light a candle. In
the darkness of the New Moon of each winter month, we have our best chance to
see the full tapestry of stars in the evening sky. We can also practice laughter and laughter yoga as a way of
bringing the energy of summer to our winter days and nights. Research has shown
that 15-20 minutes per day of laughter boosts our immune system, improves our
mood, brings pain relief, improves our outlook, and strengthens our heart. You
need not rely on jokes or comedy – you can simply laugh. Our brains cannot tell
the difference between real laughter and fake laughter – so practice fake
laughing from your belly to feel better. Learn more [Insert link to: www.laughteryoga.org]
Brene Brown,
author of The Gifts of Imperfection
reflected, “Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we
discover the infinite power of our light.” In the darkness, we have an
opportunity to meet ourselves – without the hums and noises of screens or
lights or the sun. With less stimulation to our senses, we can come home to
ourselves and our breathing. Sitting in the quiet, with only the faint light of
a candle, we can begin to notice and feel our current state, reflecting on the
question, “How am I?” with an earnest curiosity that may be challenging under
the harsher lights of daytime.
Instead of using
our energies to brace against the darkness that is winter, we may find greater
satisfaction and peace if we instead embrace this season. May this winter bring
you peace and a greater connection with your own inner radiance.
Elizabeth Venart is a Licensed
Professional Counselor and the Founder and Director of The Resiliency Center.
She is a Certified EMDR Therapist and EMDRIA-Approved Consultant who specializes
in providing counseling and mentorship to other therapists and working to
empower Highly Sensitive Persons to heal the wounds of the past so that they
can embrace their gifts more fully and experience greater joy. Learn more at www.elizabethvenart.com.
