Quiet and Candlelight at the Year’s End

by Elizabeth Venart, M.Ed., NCC, LPC

These final weeks before the winter solstice are the darkest of the year. There is beauty in the contrast of the long night with the twinkling of outdoor lights and candle lighting rituals of this time. As you light candles, burn logs in a fireplace, or enjoy the soft glow of a Christmas tree, you have an opportunity to slow down and experience the comfort of the softer light. Sitting in the quiet allows you to honor the natural rhythm of the winter season. In as little as three minutes of intentional, quiet contemplation, you can experience greater calm. 

In Celtic Spirituality and faith traditions around the world, candles have been used in ceremonies and celebrations. The soft glow of candlelight supports quiet reflection, gently guiding us to slow down, to remember, to connect with the Divine, and to honor the light within.

When you light a candle with intention, you are invited to attune to the present moment with a softness, a kind inward gaze. As you tune in to your breath and focus on the flame, time slows down. Your thoughts and heart rate often slow as you relax your focus and gently gaze on a candle flame. This intentional pause welcomes a deeper calm and clarity. 

After a candle gazing meditation, you may find it helpful to close your eyes and sit quietly. You may also find it helpful to journal and reflect. You can write down whatever feels most meaningful in that moment. 

When you move quickly through this transitional time, busy with activities and to-do-lists, you may forget the gifts inherent in quiet reflection. But you carry thoughts and feelings about the year you’re leaving and the one on the horizon. When you pause, you can consider what has been meaningful about this year and what you’re ready to release. You can also reflect on the experiences this year that shaped you — and how you have changed. Finally, you can invite forward some wonder and curiosity: What positive changes do you wish to invite in the new year?

The questions embedded within Mary Oliver’s poem Gratitude offer natural writing prompts for your end of year reflections. Following the title of her poem — Gratitude — the questions focus on beauty and the gifts of being alive. They include: 

What did you notice?
What did you hear?
When did you admire?
What astonished you?
What would you like to see again?
What was most tender?
What was most wonderful?

May you make some time for quiet candlelight, star gazing, and enjoying the beautiful darkness of the longer nights ahead. A variety of books, meditations, articles, videos, and poems are offered in this newsletter for you to explore. May you find peace and nourishment in this season of winter.

Elizabeth Venart, M.Ed., NCC, LPC, is the founder and director of the Resiliency Center. Her individual counseling practice specializes in supporting highly sensitive people, including therapists and other professional helpers, to trust themselves and thrive. An Approved Consultant in both EMDR and IFS therapy models, Elizabeth offers individual and group consultation and is a trainer of IFS-Informed EMDR Therapy through Syzygy Institute. To learn more about Elizabeth’s practice, see her website.

Winter Solstice — and a Candlelight Meditation for Peace

by Elizabeth Venart

Winter solstice, the shortest day of the year and first official day of winter, is on December 21st. This marks the gradual return of longer days, peaking with summer solstice on June 21st. Ancient Celts believed that the sun god, Lugh, left every winter and took the warmth with him. They practiced rituals at winter solstice to invite him back the sun, light, and warmth. These included building bonfires and placing candles in evergreen trees. Many of these rituals continue into the present. There is something cozy and magical about sitting near a crackling fireplace, being outdoors around a fire pit with a mug of hot chocolate, or cuddling under a blanket in the soft glow of candlelight. 

In Celtic Spirituality, the softer glow of sunrise, sunset, and candlelight are optimal times for quiet contemplation. We are invited to turn our gaze inward, pause from the busy pace of our lives, and simply reflect. The gentle glow of candlelight gives us an opportunity to slow down and invite forward the quieter parts of ourselves, parts that may get overshadowed in the noise of the everyday. Listening and attending to ourselves in this way can cultivate greater clarity and inner peace. 

During the darkness of the months ahead, you may want to experiment with creating space daily or weekly for meditative reflection. You may choose sunrise or sunset as a time of gentle light and contemplation. Watching the sun rise in the morning or set in the evening reminds us of our existence on planet earth, our presence in the natural world. Simply watch the light come, watch the light fade, notice the colors and details, the fading away of details to darkness. 

You could also practice a candlelight meditation. Simply light a candle or sit outside by a fire and gaze upon the flame. Focus on your breathing, and see if it becomes possible to slow your thinking and tune in more consciously to your five senses. Notice the candle or fire, any breeze or sounds if you are outside, the temperature of the air. As you inhale, feel the temperature and sensation of the air entering your nose, then the flow of exhale. Notice the rise and fall of your chest and belly as you breathe in and out. All the while, keep noticing the candlelight or fire. If thoughts arise, simply notice them and then return your focus to your breath and the gentle light. 

If you find it difficult to take this pause in your day, nagged by a sense of urgency for things you need to do, perhaps set a timer for five or ten minutes. Knowing you will only be sitting quietly for a short while often allows our thoughts to settle. 

Taking this pause to sit quietly in gentle light, breathing and being present, cultivates peace and a sense of inner spaciousness. From that place, it becomes possible to reflect on bigger questions, decisions, and next steps. So give yourself the gift of darkness, the gift of gentle light, the gift of self-compassion. When we nurture our inner light in this way, it grows — and that radiance, like the sun, brings more light to our world.