Holding it All Together

by Carolyn Abele, MS, LPC

In therapy spaces, we talk about “holding it all together” as thought it’s a fixed state—calm, regulated, and ideally achievable daily.  But in real life (and work), holding it all together usually looks a bit different.  Some days flow like graceful ballet.  Other days, it looks like 4 cups of coffee, several password resets and lots of “it’s fine” thoughts running wild.  

Holding it all together looks like showing up for family, co-workers, clients and friends.  All while you tick tasks off your to-do list with timely precision.  “No sweat!”  It looks like being present, attuned, and thoughtful—even on days when energy is low and the calendar is full.

Holding it all together doesn’t mean feeling perfectly regulated at all times.  It means noticing when things feel stretched and responding with skill, care and flexibility.  It’s showing up when you want to roll on the floor and have a good old-fashioned tantrum.  It’s knowing which parts of your life are stable enough to lean on while others wobble.

Today could feel like a delicate balancing act held together by duct tape and prayers, yet, you are not failing.  You are functioning.  You are adapting.  You are holding it all together, and getting things done. 

Consider a gentle self-care pause.  Take a second between tasks and check in with yourself:

• What feels most “held together” right now?
• What feels like it could use some support?
• What is one small, realistic thing you could offer yourself today—something that fits within this specific day?

No fixing required, just noticing the positive.

So, if this week feels full, heavy, chaotic, held together with extra effort, know that this is not a failure.  Tomorrow you may be able to hold it all together, with a little less duct tape.

Carolyn Abele, MS, LPC works individually with adolescents through adults.  She specializes in working with individuals with anxiety and depression, trauma, self-esteem, as well as helping adolescents and their families with behavior related challenges. To connect with Carolyn, please visit her website at carolynabeletherapy.com.