by Jeff Katowitz,
LMFT
You are about to
turn fifty. Think about it – five decades. Where has the time gone? Do you feel
satisfied with what you have accomplished or do you feel somewhat stuck and
living in constant regret. Some of you may have children who are now just
beginning a new chapter in life – going off to college or entering the
workforce. Some of you started your families later and have younger children or
adolescents with a few years remaining in high school. Some of you may not have
children but experience a similar pressure of aging – beginning to think about the
time left and how to invest your energies wisely. Common thoughts and questions entering our minds may
include:
·
“How
do I want to spend the time remaining to really enjoy life?”
·
“I
need to invest more energy towards my health so I can continue doing what I
love.”
·
“I’d
like to see things, visit places, be spontaneous and active.”
·
“I’ve
been doing the same work for so long. Maybe I’d like to expand or change
careers.”
·
“I’d
like make sure that I focus my energies in the later part of my life on
reconnecting with people I feel disconnected from.”
Sound familiar?
While each of us has a different story, we are all faced with the concept of
time and aging. It is important to examine things we’d like to do – if we have
the ability and our situation lends itself to contemplating how the “next
chapter” may look.
As I approach
turning fifty this month, I look at my own situation and feel blessed. I have
two sons who are developing beautifully and who no longer need me in the same
way. I am married to an amazing, creative woman – a true partner in life
expanding in her own new and exciting ways. I have a very loving and supportive
extended family. I am surrounded
by terrific and exceptional colleagues in my work environment.
Despite my
satisfaction, as I inch closer to fifty, I find myself considering the
question: “What is important for me to nurture, grow and expand?” I think what
is most exciting about asking all of these questions is that, if we allow
ourselves to venture back to our memories involving simple activities and
events, the newness of life and what it has to offer - this is our youth.
Now we can’t be
nine years old playing with our favorite new toy. But what we can do is think
about opportunity and expansion at the age of fifty. This can actually be very
similar to the lens through which a nine year old sees the future. Do you
remember saying things like “When I grow up, I’m going to be a………” or “When I
get older, I want to be like……… or have……….”? Do you remember feelings of excitement and anticipation, a
sense of the future as vast and endless?
We have the
opportunity to answer these same statements at fifty. For example, “When I turn
fifty, I would like to start moving in a different direction. I’d like to be
more creative. I’d like to have more friends. I’d like to travel more and see
the world.”
Turning fifty
does not have to represent aging through the lens of “I’m getting old” but can
instead be a marker of time reminding us to think about our goals, passions,
interests, and the experiences and adventures we would still like to have. To
all those entering into your fifties, I celebrate with you and hope you are
able to embrace life in ways that are exciting, engaging in events and
activities that fill you with joy.
Here is a
reflection process to guide you:
Step one: Sit
quietly in a peaceful space for a few minutes and think about an idea, perhaps
visualize an event, place, or opportunity and activity that feels good when you
think about it.
Step two: Create some type of movement that
places you closer to the direction of your thoughts (ie. sharing this idea with
others, developing and plan and writing it down, engaging in an activity that
moves you closer to the vision(s)).
Step three: Repeat
steps one and two over and over again. Good luck!
His areas of specialty include divorce
and separation, blended family issues, adoption, adolescent development and
transitions, grief and loss, and managing and working through traumatic life
events. Jeff’s goal is to provide a safe a nurturing environment for the
individual and family system to feel more readily able to access the strength
to overcome difficult transitions and events in their lives. Contact him
at jpkatowitz@verizon.net and
215-307-0055.
