by Anjana
Deshpande
“I am so happy when I am in my yard” my
neighbor across the street yelled. She was in her element: dirt on her
hands, saplings by her side, and the sun pouring all around her. She looked
rooted, connected.
Connection tells us where we belong,
where our place in the world is. Strong connections lead to strong roots. But
the most profound connection is the one we have with our self. Not being
in touch with who we are, changes our relationship to almost everything that we
are trying to engage
with. We may be surrounded by family, friends, work but still feel a sense
being ungrounded, of not being rooted. Sometimes the disconnect with self
is a way of numbing pain, of not dealing with something from our past, or
sometimes it is simply a lack of access to our inner reserves. Not
being connected to ourselves may lead to issues like depression, but when we
try to numb our feelings, we also shut down a creative and joyful part of
ourselves. Life becomes flat, boring and devoid of joy . As we constantly
put ourselves on the back burner and cater to the world outside, we forget that
we have a tremendous capacity to nurture ourselves.
How does one reconnect then? Many
people instinctively take to writing to reflect on what is going on, to
literally “hear themselves think”. The pages of a journal are a great way to
recharge and reconnect.
If you don’t know where to begin, here
is a simple exercise:
Tonight, write down a feeling or
quality that you would like to experience: clarity, calm, excitement, love,
friendship, peace. My suggestion would to be lean into a more positive
frame of mind. Tomorrow evening, take some time to reflect on where you
experienced this feeling or quality in your day. Write about it, and describe
the situation/event/feeling in detail. As Kay Adams states, this becomes a
fascinating exercise in creating your own reality and changing the focus of
your thoughts.
You may even choose to create a” word
bowl” of feelings that you would like to experience, and pick one a day, and
pay attention to how it appears in your life. This pausing, this
thoughtfulness and self-reflection is a small yet significant step towards
reclaiming yourself.
Anjana Deshpande is a Licensed Clinical
Social Worker who specializes in working with Adolescents, Adults and Older
Adults. Please contact Anjana Deshpande, LCSW at anjana@writethought.org or 267-422-2861
