How to Find Meaningful Connections

By Jeff Katowitz, LMFT

       Are you single, married, have children or in committed relationship? Many have shared sentiments regarding lacking connections in their lives even though they are surrounded by a significant other or children and friends. “Community” has been a word that people often reference these days in terms of not feeling a part of group - longing to feel a part of something larger than their immediate family, aspiring to discover a ritual and place to share and convene with others. 

     While many turn to religious groups and organizations to feel that sense of belonging  and enjoy a structure that is consistent and comfortable for them, others look to create more intimate and smaller groups that do not necessarily have spiritual affiliations but provide them with a sense of connection with others who are like-minded and share similar desires, interests and passions. 

     An essential ingredient in establishing and maintaining positive relationships with others includes surrounding yourself with individuals who may share similar passions and interests and more importantly those who make you feel alive and accepted when in their presence. When you attempt to join, associate, explore and discover new people ask yourself, “Do I feel embraced by a person or group of individuals? Are these people showing interest in my ideas, who I am, what brings me happiness?”

   These initial moments of contact whether verbal or non-verbal are essential in the development and sustaining meaningful relationships. Many of you may know what it feels like to be in the presence of another when there are negative and uncomfortable reactions going off in your body. Learn to understand what this means if you are feeling anxious, tired and uncomfortable - this may be a good indicator that the people in your presence may not be healthy for you.

    The more you begin to reflect and explore the feelings, emotions and responses that arise inside you in any given moment, the more you will begin to gravitate towards and maintain healthy and joyous relationships with others. You have the choice and ability to distance and move away from relationships where you don’t feel connected and alive. Begin making those life-changing decisions today and find those new people who will embrace and accept you - and create those new communities where the love you give will be shown to you in return.

Jeff Katowitz, LMFT is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist providing individual, couples, family counseling, and parent coordinating. Specialties include adolescent development, separation, divorce, adoption, and blended families. For more information or to schedule an appointment, call Jeffrey at 215-307-0055 or email him at jpkatowitz@verizon.net.  Read more on our blog [Insert link to: http://resiliency.blogspot.com/2010/10/families-and-divorce.html]