Because I’m Happeeee

By Delia Nessim

Nothing can relay a message quite as effectively as a catchy song. The message being that Pharrell Williams is choosing to be happy and nothing is going to bring him down. The idea that ‘happiness is a choice’ is a popular concept these days, but not a new one. In the 1860’s Leo Tolsoy said, “If you want to be happy, be.” I think most people would choose to be happy. So why is it that so many people seem unhappy? The trouble might be that they don’t know any other way. Many people think that their circumstances are random and when good things happen they feel happy and when bad things happen, they feel sad or angry. There has been a great deal of research on the subject of happiness. According to the documentary film called “Happiness,” just 10% of happiness is derived from circumstances, 50% of our happiness comes from genetics and the remaining 40% comes from our own actions and choices. That is a significant percentage. The studies explored what actions or events led to increased happiness. The number one thing was, being of service. Volunteering your time is very rewarding. It helps a person shift the focus off of their issues and onto something bigger.

In the yogic teaching, the 5 keys to happiness are: 1) free your heart from hatred, 2) free your mind from worry, 3) simplify your life, 4) give more, and 5) expect less.

The Dalai Lama believes love and compassion are central to happiness. When he smiles at someone, for example, it doesn’t matter how they respond. “The rewards of practicing compassion go first to the practitioner.”* Research shows that people who often use the words “me”, “I” and “mine” are more likely to have heart attacks. According to Buddhist philosophy, thinking predominantly about oneself narrows one’s focus and as a result small problems to seem big. When the focus is on others, the mind widens and the personal problems seem smaller.

You may be thinking that you don’t have time to volunteer. There are already too many things to do and not enough time to do them. One more thing would cause more stress and less happiness.  If this is the case maybe it’s time to simplify. Perhaps you feel the need to please others at your own expense. This can be another source of unhappiness. It is important to be true to yourself and your values. The bigger the gap between who you are deep down in your soul and the person you portray in life, the less happy you will be.  That being said, volunteerism isn’t for everyone. Sometimes just offering a smile and some friendly conversation to a stranger can brighten their day and yours, too.

Now getting back to the percentages, if 10% of happiness comes from circumstances, you may have more control over that than you think. Do you ever notice how some people seem to have all the luck? It may not be all that random. The philosophy that is gaining popularity is that our predominant thoughts manifest our reality. So as they say, “if thoughts create reality, choose your thoughts wisely.”

Finally, the remaining 50% is attributed to genetic. There are definitely some babies that are born with a pleasant disposition and others that are not. According to Bruce Lipton and other specialists in the field of epigenetics, “our genes are not set in stone.” Our cells are always splitting and reproducing and other cells are dying. We are not the same person that we were 20 or 30 years ago. If we consciously expose ourselves to experiences that are fun and happy (or we choose to see it that way), we will be creating evidence for our brains to develop a new set of beliefs. There will be less production of stress hormones and more “feel good” hormones and eventually the cells will be altered.

So it seems that scientifically speaking, happiness really is a choice. So, practically speaking, how do we get happy and stay happy? Some techniques is to read uplifting books and poetry that remind us that we are spiritual beings having a human experience and we are loved beyond measure. Other ideas are to avoid criticism, gossip, voicing discontent with others. Also practice gaining control of your reactions, particularly anger. Be selective about what you let into your mind by not watching disturbing TV programs and you tube videos. Instead focus on what is working well, spend face-to-face time with people you like and love, especially if they make you laugh. Shower your senses with pleasurable experiences. Spring time is a treat for the eyes and nose and even ears so get out in nature and enjoy. Summer is a treat for the taste buds with fresh fruits and vegetables.  Enjoy the warmth of the sun on your skin. Cultivate all your creative gifts and talents. You will soon be focused on love and gratitude and you can’t be anything else but happy.

* All you Ever Wanted to Know from His Holiness The Dalai Lama on Happiness, Life, living and Much More – Conversations with Rajiv Mehrotra

More by Dean Solon

waiting for something to happen,
waiting for something more to happen,
i chose not to be recognizing
that everything had happened,
and i was free, and i am free.

why did i forget?

why do we forget?

i remember why.
i am a bozo on this bus
that travels on the earth,
each bump on the road
a spurring of a remembering,
a next bump on the road
a jolting of a forgetting.

Separation by Dean Solon

of course.  this is a presenting opportunity for practice, to be living this moment, not knowing what is to be and will be in a next moment, heart beating, heart fluttering, heart opening and heart not-opening, choosing a co-creating of experiencing, of being, here, as i'm here, while i'm here, in this precious moment, this sacred moment, this breathing moment.
each and every moment curiouser,
each and every experience curiouser,
each and every breath curiouser and curiouser.

as the thinning of separation between sleeping and being awake, between dreaming and not-dreaming,
so a thinning of separation
between the practical and the spiritual,
between the profane and the sacred,
between the ground and the sky,
between the shoreline and the most distant horizon.

a seeming separation between judaism and christianity,
a seeming separation between one breath and another breath,
a seeming separation between one thought and another thought,
a seeming separation between human beings,
a seeming separation between the glittering of gold and the glowing of love,
a seeming separation of life and death,
a seeming separation of me and You.

all of this activity, all of this phenomena...
seeming separations.

all of this.

Ascend Psychological Services: Building on your Child’s Strengths/ Helping your Child Overcome Hurdles

by Gretchen Britton, Ph.D.

 

 

Do you have any of the following concerns or questions regarding your child?

-Does your child or teen struggle with reading, writing or math?

-Are you concerned that your child has more trouble than most with paying attention and     maintaining focus?

-Is your youngster falling behind in school and you don’t know why?

-Are emotional concerns, worries or sadness impacting your child’s life at home or school?

-Does your youngster need additional time or other accommodations for standardized testing?

-Does your child need testing completed for admission to private school?

-Is your pre-school child ready to begin kindergarten?

-Could your child’s social, behavioral and communication concerns be part of a developmental disorder such as an autism spectrum disorder?

-Would you like a second opinion regarding a psychoeducational evaluation conducted at       your child’s school or would you like help in navigating the special education process?

-Would you like to know if your child is eligible for the Mentally Gifted program?

-Would you like to learn more about your child’s learning style and how he or she learns      best?

-Perhaps your child is already doing well in school and you would like to explore      strengths she could build upon to increase her academic success even more?

Ascend Psychological Services provides comprehensive psychoeducational evaluations of school-age children experiencing academic and behavioral difficulties. Our team of compassionate and committed psychologists specializes in the assessment of autism spectrum disorders, learning disabilities, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (AD/HD), and emotional problems that impact learning. Ascend provides clients with targeted recommendations individually tailored to meet your child's needs.

What is a psychoeducational evaluation?

A psychoeducational evaluation is a thorough examination of a learner's strengths and needs and includes assessment of cognitive ability, academic achievement, social / emotional and behavioral functioning. The evaluation may also include assessments of a student's sensory-motor skills, attention, memory, language processing, phonological processing, adaptive skills, and executive functioning. Using all of the information gained over the course of the assessment – from interviews, parent, teacher and child rating scales, one-to-one testing results, and observations of the child –the psychologist provides the child, her family and (with consent from the family) her teachers, with a clear picture of her abilities and her needs in the classroom, at home and with peers. The psychologist will compile her findings into a report, and will discuss all findings, diagnoses and recommendations with the family at the end of the assessment process.  Referrals to other services may be made as appropriate, such as to occupational therapy for fine motor concerns or to speech-language pathology for communication di

About Us

We are a team of three psychologists, Dr. Paskiewicz, Dr. Britton and Mr. Mendelsohn. All three of us are certified school psychologists with extensive experience working in the public schools and knowledge of the special education process. Between us, we have advanced training in neuropsychological assessment and the evaluation of ADHD, behavioral and emotional problems, autism, and learning disabilities. Dr. Paskiewicz and Dr. Britton are trained in administration of the ADOS (Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule).

Timing is important. If you feel your child may benefit from a psychoeducational evaluation, consider making an appointment before the school year winds down so that any resulting recommendations can be put in place as soon as the 2014-15 school year begins. If you’d like to know more about how we can help, please call us at 215-326-9239, email us at ascendpsych@gmail.com or visit our website at ascendpsych.com.

Nicaragua – Unplugged and Recharged

By Elizabeth Campbell

In February 2013, I traveled as the counseling support for the Yoga Teacher Training Beyond Asana to build a school with the organization Build On in Ganeshpur, Nepal.  My experience deepened my presence in my counseling practice and in other relationships greatly.  This year we traveled to two villages in the mountains of Nicaragua to build schools in San Benito and Las Cuarentas.  The lesson this year was layered onto my experience of last year.  Not only is it possible to communicate with individuals that do not speak our language, but the depth of that very connection is what sustains us all…no matter what language, nationality, or socioeconomic status defines us. 

Two weeks in rural Nicaragua freed up space for me.  There was no electricity, no television, no cell phones, and no running water.  The absence of those luxuries gave me a greater gift…the space to connect.   When we ate meals, no one was taking pictures of the meal to post on Facebook or excusing themselves for a phone call.  The television did not distract us from interacting.  At night, there was nothing to do but engage with one another.  We simply connected.  And joining with the beautiful souls of San Benito and Las Cuarentas completely sustained me, regardless of what luxuries were missing. 

How does one carry that connection back into an area that has traffic, cell phones, television, and any other number of distractions?  The Filial child-parent relationship training that I hold concurrently with play therapy sessions encourages parents to “focus on the donut, not the hole.”  In other words, your relationship with your child is more important than any issue or problem occurring.  Nicaragua taught me that any relationship is more important.  It is more important to look into your loved one’s eyes rather than stare at a television screen, more important to call a friend than to text, more important to enjoy the experience of a delicious dinner than to tell people in social networking about it.  In our attempt to speed up our efficiency and our connection with others, we have efficiently disconnected.  I am carrying the beauty of my experience connecting with those in Nicaragua by connecting with those that I encounter here.  And I would love for this to ripple to others and the beauty of Nicaragua could cause connections upon connections in our community.  Along this line, I call all readers and community members of the Resiliency Center to action.  How can you connect today?

What is Dyslexia? What isn’t Dyslexia?

By Tracy Paskiewicz, Ph.D.

Do you know a Jordan?  Jordan is one of the brightest children in his second grade classroom.  He has an extensive vocabulary and knows many facts about science and hockey, his favorite sport.  He can even tell you about the last several Stanley Cup playoff games, and who won each year.  But when it comes to reading about hockey—or anything else—Jordan has a lot of trouble.  It takes him a long time to read each word, and even longer to read full sentences.  He often takes a guess about how to pronounce a word, and his guess is often wrong.  Reading out loud is very stressful for Jordan.  He gets embarrassed and may start to cry when his teacher calls on him to read.

Reading ability is often taken as a marker of one’s intelligence.  Most people assume that if someone is smart, motivated, and properly instructed, she or he will learn to read.  However, decades of research has shown that even some very smart people who do well at many things, have trouble learning to read.  This difficulty with reading is called dyslexia.

Contrary to popular belief, dyslexia is not a disorder of the visual system.  Traditionally, letter and word reversals were thought to be typical of dyslexic reading.  Eye training was often prescribed to overcome these alleged visual deficits.  But, modern research has shown that children with dyslexia are not unusually prone to reversing letters or words and that the cognitive deficit responsible for the disorder is related to the language system.  Specifically, dyslexia reflects a weakness in the processing of the distinctive linguistic units, called phonemes, that make up all spoken and written words.  Current linguistic models of dyslexia now provide an explanation of why some very intelligent children have trouble learning to read and performing other language-based tasks.  Deficits in the processing of phonemes can impair decoding, preventing word identification and recall. 

Many individuals with dyslexia explain how tiring reading is for them, reflecting the enormous resources and energy they must expend on the task.  In dyslexia, the brain takes longer to make phonological connections, and it does so in more steps.  For example, the brain might have trouble matching the letters on the page with the sounds those letters and combinations of letters make.  When someone has trouble with this initial, lower-level step, it makes all the other steps harder.

Dyslexia is not rare; estimates suggest that between 5-10% of the population has some form of dyslexia.  Sometimes several people in the same family have dyslexia.  Older kids and adults can also have dyslexia.  There is no cure for dyslexia, nor can you “grow out of it.”  However, early identification and appropriate intervention can ameliorate its effects.  Individuals with dyslexia often learn to accommodate, or learn to develop strategies, to overcome this disorder.  Many people achieve academically and go on to higher education.  Some people with dyslexia have special talents or skills, including creativity and problem-solving skills.         

This article is based on content from Overcoming Dyslexia by Sally Shaywitz, M.D.

Lifestyle Changes for Everyone

My name is Tracey Smith and I am the owner of Wellness W.R.K.S. LLC. I have been a member of the resiliency center for five years. I am a Certified Therapeutic Recreation Specialist providing group facilitation for teens with the following titles: Teen Resiliency-Wellness and Leadership, Teen Esteem–Wellness Leadership, Woman’s Group for Woman of Color, and Professional Staff Development Training Program. Recreation is my therapy. I teach practitioners concrete strategies to help bring creativity and fun into ones work with groups and families. I have written two newsletters: 1) Teen Resiliency and 2) Reflections of the Million Woman March 10^th Anniversary.

Wellness W.R.K.S. LLC was born out of the need to integrate strength based, interactive holistic programing into the behavioral health/healthcare healing processes, as well as providing wellness education to the community. As a Recreational Therapist, I have extensive experience in behavioral health and healthcare. In various settings there was an observable imbalance in the medical model treating ‘patients’ as their illness and not as a person with particular symptoms. In other words, we treat the whole person. Instead of using the illness/recovery model, wellness W.R.K.S. LLC and associates utilize wellness/recovery principles that merge recreational therapy, wellness education and restorative practices. This provides a holistic experience for participants and allows them to achieve personal growth. The creative experiential workshops engage even the most resistant participant using this integrative approach. Oftentimes leisure and recreation are discounted for their therapeutic benefits. The use of recreation and play in wellness, healing and recovery can serve everyone. Recovery is not a term used only for drug and alcohol participants. For our purposes, it is for anyone wanting to recover his/her authentic self and achieve as sense of wholeness.

The primary components of this work are: Wellness Education, Recreational Therapy and Restorative Practices.

·         Recreational Therapy uses recreational activities to tap into the “Playful Spirit.”  It enhances a healthy lifestyle and improves the way participants handle personal challenges. It is a non- threatening, non- invasive means to address behavioral health challenges. 

·         Wellness Education introduces participants to a holistic approach to self-care. It addresses the mind, body, and spirit, providing balance between work, home, relationships and play.

·         Restorative Practice is a collaborative, nonviolent form of communication that promotes conflict transformation. Participants develop a basic skill that reduces miscommunication and creates the opportunity for constructive change. 

The populations served include men and women in transition, adolescents in the school and/or legal systems. It also serves people negotiating parenting and other choices related to sexuality and the adoption of children. The workshops are also available for focus groups, staff retreats, participants with recovery challenges, people of color, and professional development training. 

With enthusiasm, creativity and passion, we are committed to promoting wellness, recreation and conflict transformation though the creative and healing arts. Our desire is to empower participants to make desired lifestyle changes. The vision of Wellness W.R.K.S. LLC is to assist participants in increasing their awareness of healing strategies and techniques for different levels of burden. We do this through workshops, trainings and individual transformation sessions. These services have been provided for municipal, state, profit, non-profit, small business and healthcare agencies. We have developed a variety of curricula but each workshop is tailor made for the audience. Ideally the curriculum has nine modules that are culturally and trauma sensitive. It promotes a “safe place” atmosphere where participants can explore their own issues of healthy living. The modules address: depression, stress/anger management, self–esteem, self-care, trauma, life skills, sexual health, and other recovery/behavioral health issues. The modalities used include, but are not limited to: social activities, character development, conflict transformation, empowerment assertiveness training, violence prevention, aroma therapy, reiki, tai chi, yoga, physical fitness, relaxation therapy, poetry, music, journaling, goal setting, decision making, anger/stress reduction activities, spiritual growth and creative/emotional intelligence.  We are in the process of developing a staff training manual and participant workbook for this curriculum. Training other professionals and hiring consultants has helped to expand the scope of my practice. We even have a Zumba instructor! Participants in the program become ‘wellness ambassadors’ as they share their knowledge with families, associates and communities. Wellness W.R.K.S. LLC works in the community with the understanding that we are all connected. We are connected to the community of humanity. With this being said participants are encouraged to practice techniques and principles to heal one’s self, family and community. This can in turn help us to be better friends, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, co-workers and neighbors. Here is what some participants have said: “The calming atmosphere here at The Resiliency Center helped put my mind at ease.” “Since your workshops, I am able to manage my anger better.” “The 40 Developmental Assets helped me feel better about myself.” Here is how some of the participants responded to the wellness self-inventory after participating in the ‘wellness in the workplace professional development training.’ “I am going to start taking care of myself.” “The playful spirit helps people manage their lives.” “The playful spirit helps with depression and boredom.” “The playful spirit helps create peace and non-violence.” “The playful spirit is important to our overall well-being.”