by
Rachel Kobin
The
"perfect" writer sits down in front of their laptop at five in the
morning, admires the sunrise over their duck pond, and proceeds to tap out
thousands of words. These words represent essential sections of their latest
masterpiece for which their editor waits with gleeful anticipation. The rest of
their day balances self-care activities like exercise and meditation with
creativity-enriching jaunts to readings, art openings, and live concerts.
These
romanticized writers may exist, but when I asked local writers to e-mail me
about how being a part of a writers' community had impacted them, Eric Jacobs,
a writer in my own workshop said, "I am not the kind of person who can get
up early and set aside an hour a day every day to write. At least not
yet. Probably never. But I know that with the workshop there will be at
least one night when I can block out everything else and devote my full attention
to writing. Willingly, I am a captive audience." Like most writers, Eric
has a full-time job and social responsibilities. Based on my observations and
the responses I received to questions I asked local writers about how becoming
part of a writing group impacting them, not having enough time is the simplest
challenge writers face.
As an
act of self-expression, writing evokes feelings of vulnerability. Often, prior
experiences in educational or professional settings have left emotional scars.
Remarking on his decision to join the Ambler Writers' Group, Robert Wright
coined a fabulous phrase for the self-doubt that plagues us all: "…I was
unsure of my writing and my choice to write. The chattering monkeys played
havoc with me then. Occasionally they still do." At various points along
their journey, most writers face these “chattering monkeys.” Clearly, Robert
made the right decision because since joining the group he has made a lot of
made friends and completed an MA in English and Creative Writing. Everyone who
wrote to me reported that joining a writing community boosted their
self-confidence. As Maureen Fielding, a member of a group in Lansdowne, said,
"Participating in the group and conferences has made me feel more
'legitimate.' That is, I don't have that sense of not being a 'real' writer
just because I didn't get my novel published." Maureen has published
several poems, and Christine DiJulia, a member of the same group and others,
said, "Hearing others' challenges to write and publish, and more so,
learning that their work was accepted for publication is inspiration to
continue on."
If
finding a community plays such an important role in boosting writers’
self-confidence, what is it, exactly, that happens in a healthy group that
facilitates these experiences? Several people who responded to my questions
said they had joined a group or found a workshop during a transitional period
in their lives, either going through voluntary and involuntary career changes
or hitting a rough spot in their lives when they needed to take stock and shift
directions. I was moved by Vicki Marklew's account of what happened when she
first took a Tuesday Night Writers session with The Philadelphia Writers’ Workshop
(PWW). Her experience so closely echoed my own as a new participant in Alison
Hick’s workshop in Havertown. Vicki said, "The first couple of weeks were
terrifying – everyone could spin such gorgeous phrases and ideas out of the
ether, while I felt like a wordless lump…" Vicki continued to describe her
first workshop with a word I hesitated to use without corroborating sources.
She said, "Then something magical happened—a prompt that triggered an
image, and suddenly I was reading my words out loud to 12 near-strangers who
were all laughing gleefully. It was a truly life-changing moment. I drove home
feeling exhilarated, energized, and bursting with ideas. It honestly felt like
a dam had burst, and I started to see the world, and myself, in a new
light."
Vicki's
story confirmed that even more than providing a time and place for all things
writing-related, something magical happens when the presence of the other
people and their collective positive energy allows the writer in each of us to
emerge. As another PWW alumna, Heather Emens Rudalavage wrote, "…I found
the most supportive group of adults I have ever known. Even when my own harsh
inner critic is telling me my writing is terrible, this group magically finds
the gem in the rough. Their kindness has brought me to tears on more than one
occasion." Heather's words revealed another component of writing together
that makes the experience seem magical: compassion. When a writer receives
feedback that buoys their confidence, the actual magic comes from how the
group’s positive energy allows the hidden writer in each person to emerge. As
other writers in the group respond with empathy and compassion, each member of
the group becomes less critical of their own writing and of themselves.
On the other end of the spectrum,
receiving inappropriate, destructive feedback can easily shut us down. Rosalind
Kaplan with whom I had the pleasure of writing in Alison Hick’s workshop, had
shown her manuscript to one person she respected who dismissed it outright. She
put the manuscript in a drawer until years later when we encouraged her to keep
working on it. Eventually, she found an agent and published her memoir, The Patient in the White Coat, her
riveting story of being a physician who contracted Hepatitis C from an
accidental needle stick while working during a period when the disease was
incurable and carried a considerable stigma.
Reading
and hearing others’ writing plays an equally vital role in this cycle of
expanding kindness. In The Atlantic
magazine article “The Psychological Comforts of Storytelling," Dan Dilistraty wrote, "Storytelling, especially in novels, allows people
to peek into someone's conscience to see how other people think. This can
affirm our own beliefs and perceptions, but more often, it challenges them.
Psychology researcher Dan Johnson recently published a study in Basic and
Applied Social Psychology that found reading fiction significantly increased
empathy towards others, especially people the readers initially perceived as
"outsiders" (e.g. foreigners, people of a different race, skin color,
or religion)." While participants in local groups do not exclusively write
fiction, my observations and the responses to my questions confirm Johnson's
finding that reading stories develops empathy toward others. The live,
interactive quality of these groups encourages writers to stretch such that
they and their writing gain a deeper understanding of "outsiders"
experiences. As another PWW participant Eric Jacobs wrote, the people in the
workshop have "…unique points of view far different from my own. For
example, recently, one of the writers in the group, when critiquing my writing,
commented that my description of a woman in a fiction story as
"classically beautiful" was a real turnoff. This was great feedback
and something that I would likely have not discovered on my own." Based on
what he learned, Eric went back to make revisions with energy and enthusiasm. Like
many others from all of the local writers' groups, several of his revised
stories have been published.
Whether
a writer's work is published or shared only with their writers' community,
several sources, including the article in The Atlantic confirm that
telling stories helps the storyteller and the reader understand their own
lives. Nick Pipitone, a PWW alumnus and founder of a Meetup group called “DelcoWriters” said being in workshops and writing communities "…has also made me more
humble and realistic about my own writing abilities. It made me realize that
there are so many of out there with dreams and aspirations, and the real goal
of writing for me has become to share a story that may inspire someone or make
them think. So, in other words, it has made writing less of an ego-feeding
thing for me, and more about sharing a part of myself with others. Being in
workshops and communities is so fun because you get to meet so many talented
people from different walks of life and you get a little glimpse into their
inner selves by what they share with the group."
As
writers learn from their group leaders how to give and receive useful feedback,
they are, essentially, learning how to feel and express empathy. In turn,
this empathy strengthens our emotional resilience by helping us develop strong
interpersonal relationships. As Robert Wright wrote, "I have received a
number of blessings meeting writers through the group: camaraderie, friends,
sounding boards and honesty." At some point, all writers have to sit down
in front of their laptops and tap out hundreds or thousands of words, revise,
edit, and dare to show our work to someone. I'm confident that even the solitary
writers with duck ponds who write every day and persist despite a plethora of
literary disappointments have a date circled on their calendar marking the next
meeting of their writers' group.
Rachel Kobin has over twenty years of experience writing
in a variety of professional settings. She founded The Philadelphia Writers
Workshop in 2011 and continues to lead creative writing workshops at The
Resiliency Center. She works with
writers privately as a coach and editor to help them make their final drafts as
brilliant as their original ideas.
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