Shadow Work

by Eileen Sheehan

Shadow work refers to any process that makes the unconscious conscious. Examples of modern shadow work practices include the work of Byron Katie (https://thework.com/), Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) created by Richard Schwartz (https://ifs-institute.com/), and Jungian style therapy, as well as many other exercises that allow aspects of ourselves that we are unaware of come forward into our conscious view. These practices can be done individually, in a group setting, or with a therapist, depending on the depth and difficulty.

Creative people are often more naturally inclined to reflect on their deeper parts, which fuels a significant amount of art creation in the world. Creative and artistic blocks usually result from unprocessed emotions that we've shoved into our unconscious. We can learn simple techniques for allowing and processing emotions. 

Writing in an uncensored way allows you to tap into your emotions. As you do, the block in your creative flow also clears. One exercise from Byron Katie is called the “Judge Your Neighbor” exercise in which you take a closer look at one of your complaints. For example, “I complain about ___ because ____.” Then, you are invited to turn your thoughts upside down. Maybe you’re angry at your neighbor for being inconsiderate when they make a lot of noise. When you turn it around, you ask about yourself in relationship to being inconsiderate. Turning it around invites you to get curious and go deep. Especially for writers, these exercises can also double as writing prompts for more developed characters. 

Eileen Sheehan is a frequent participant of the Philadelphia Writers Workshop at the Resiliency Center, working on her debut YA fantasy novel. She an artist and creative performance designer who has been been exploring the deep connection between creativity and spirituality in her personal work. She designed an oracle deck, The Solas Oracle, based on her own journey of healing, emotional processing, and release. She lives in Blue Bell with her husband of 16 years and two Disney-loving daughters.

Embracing Your Worst to Find Your Best

by Rachel Kobin

As children, many of us loved hating Cruella de Vil, the villain in 101 Dalmatians (the book or movie). As adults seeking a good book, movie, or TV show, we may prefer characters who are more like people we know, with a full range of positive and negative qualities. We all have flaws, or as I like to say, we are “multifaceted,” which is what makes gemstones shine. 

As much as we accept that people are complex, when we meet someone who makes us recoil, we usually do one of two things: immediately reject them, or get curious and ask, “What is it about this person that irks me?” Very often, we discover that traits we find annoying about someone else are traits we share. 

Confronted by the darker parts of ourselves, it’s easier to plow forward with our lives and tell ourselves, “At least I’m not a puppy-killer like Cruella de Vil." However, ignoring these parts of ourselves is a lot like leaving dirty dishes in the sink: soon, insects infest the sink, so now we have dishes with caked-on food and bugs. Whether we avoid these sides of ourselves using a myriad of self-sabotaging behaviors or hate ourselves for staying stuck in life, it takes a considerable toll on our lives. 

Usually, these shadows, antagonists, or parts have something to teach us. When we dare to engage with them by gently asking what purpose they serve in our lives and how we might work with them to move forward, we are more likely to embrace setbacks as stepping stones that lead us forward on our paths.  

For writers, this process can occur as an author follows the characters they're writing through to the end of the story. The author’s shadows become part of the characters, and the change the main character achieves by the end of the book parallels the kind of transformation all creatives and all people can gain important insights by examining their shadows. When a writer neglects the edgier, unpleasant sides of their characters, readers have a hard time relating to them and often remark that they found them “flat” or “unbelievable.” 

In novels, the writer knows what’s going to happen, and even the reader can skip to the end. In our lives, we don’t know what’s coming next. Our shadow parts, formed by our past, can become guides to a future that beats not being as evil as Cruella de Vil. In “Shadow Work,” a method initially developed by Carl Jung, Internal Family Systems, from Richard C. Schwartz, and many other therapeutic modalities employ a variety of gentle approaches to help us explore these shadow sides of ourselves and make them our allies. Dimensions of ourselves we once feared become portals to a life of increasing contentment, punctuated by moments of joy.

Rachel Kobin is the Founder and Director of the Philadelphia Writers Workshop [Insert link to to: https://phillywriters.com/]. Rachel began writing in the third grade when she adapted the novel Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh into a play. She went on to write poetry, a screenplay, synopses, critiques of screenplays, copy for advertising, a novel, internal and marketing communications for corporations, market research reports, and a TV pilot. Her poetry has been published in anthologies, but as a creative writing workshops facilitator, editor, and writing coach, she finds seeing other writers succeed—however they define success—even more thrilling than seeing her own writing in print. She is proud to be part of Philadelphia’s robust writers’ community. 

Retreats: Pause, Connect, Create — and Get Inspired

by Elizabeth Venart

Summertime is for novelty. We spend more time outdoors, travel to new places, and do things that darker, colder times of the year don’t offer. Retreats and groups are similar. Retreats offer us an opportunity to take a break from our ordinary routine, immerse ourselves in a new practice (such as art-making, meditation, yoga, or writing), and connect more deeply with ourselves, others, and the natural world. Mary Oliver’s poems remind us that every moment in which we are fully present can be a retreat. Her poems inspired by walks in nature, she poignantly reminds us in her poem “Praying” that silence is “the doorway into thanks” and when we are present, we open so that “another voice may speak.” When we embark on retreat, we accept this invitation into mystery, the unknown that awaits when we go new places, try new things, meet new people, and immerse ourselves in new landscapes — or greet familiar landscapes with new eyes.

In my own life, retreats have supported me during moments of significant transition. A meditation and mindfulness retreat at Kripalu was instrumental in gifting me with the calm, confidence, and clarity to open the Resiliency Center sixteen years ago. During the pandemic, a series of weekend painting retreats (offered through Zoom) supported me in expressing the full texture and emotion of my experience. Mini-retreats in writing helped me find my voice and gain confidence to approach a publisher with my book idea. A Celtic Spirituality Retreat in Ireland connected me with my ancestry through stories, soulful chanting, and time spent outdoors in majestic, beautiful landscapes. All of these experiences required leaving my comfort zone in one way or another and awakened deep inner peace and aliveness. 

Similarly, groups invite us to venture beyond the comfort of one-on-one connection and expand our perspective by learning from others’ experiences. We discover ourselves when we look into the eyes of others, hear our stories in their voices, and find the echo of our own truth in their heartfelt sharing. As we share, the courage of our authenticity invites others to be real in return. When we play, create, meditate, write, and explore nature in groups, our group energy creates a container for growth that often transcends what we can do on our own. For example, meditating in a group often takes us deeper. We hold the silence together. When we go on a nature hike together, we see beauty and details we may have missed if not for the eyes of our companions. When we create together, we are inspired by others’ creativity and they, by ours. 

Throughout my thirty-three years as a counselor, I have led many groups, workshops, and retreats for children, teens, adults, healthcare professionals, and other therapists. Community is healing. I believe in the power of community to transform people’s lives, support their resilience, and build joy. This belief drove the creation of The Resiliency Center of Greater Philadelphia. 

I am excited to share that a number of practitioners at the center are offering groups, workshops, and retreats this summer and into the fall. Why not join us? Programs promise connection, creativity, play, and opportunities to learn and grow. Some are designed for children and others for adults, and all invite you to experience something new. Let’s play together. We hope to see you soon. 

Elizabeth Venart is the Founder and Director of The Resiliency Center. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Approved EMDR Consultant, and Approved IFS Consultant who specializes in supporting Highly Sensitive People, including other therapists. She offers individual counseling, IFS-Informed EMDR Healing Intensives, and clinical consultation for therapists. She has led a regional meeting for EMDR therapists in the Greater Philadelphia Area since 2011 and taught therapists IFS-Informed EMDR through the Syzygy Institute since 2022. Additionally, Elizabeth is a laughter yoga teacher and avid reader of poetry. In support of these loves, Elizabeth offers a free weekly laughter yoga class and a monthly Spiritual Poetry evening. Learn more at https://elizabethvenart.com/ or contact her at elizabethvenart@counselingsecure.com. 

Beginner’s Mind and Our Inner Child

by Vanessa Mortillo

When we have no thought of achievement, no thought of self, we are true beginners. Then we can really learn something. -- Shunryu Suzuki

In every adult there lurks a child - an eternal child, something that is becoming, is never completed and calls for unceasing care, attention and education. That is the part of the human personality which waits to develop and become whole. – Carl Jung

Do you remember a time, as a child, when you encountered something new? When walking in the woods was an opportunity to discover a new bug, or rock formation, to learn something you previously did not know about how the world works? A time when a backyard contained multitudes of mini-worlds to be explored and created. Sometimes things could seem mysterious and scary, unknown, but often these memories are accompanied with a sense of awe and wonder. 

As a child, you do not yet have preconceived notions about things in the world, and for this reason, it is easy to see things in a fresh light. A child’s ability to be creative emerges because the world is not yet sorted into categories and labels, but exists to be explored and played with.

In Zen Buddhism, this quality is referred to as Beginner’s Mind-- approaching the world as though we are seeing it for the first time, with openness and curiosity. Shunryu Suzuki, in his book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind offered this concept to modern readers. Suzuki states, "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's mind there are few." As we get older, we start to sort and categorize our experiences into expertise and a sense of knowing, that can stop us from seeing things as they truly are. We can also feel dull or restricted by our preconceived notions.  Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction notes that beginner’s mind, “prevents us from getting stuck in the rut of our own expertise.” Practicing a beginner’s mind keeps us growing and learning. 

So how do we cultivate and practice beginner’s mind? Gaylon Ferguson, Senior Teacher at the Shambala Institute, offers a simple exercise of  “welcoming” as one way to practice. The exercise begins by taking a seat, eyes, open in a soft posture, dropping the effort, and simply noticing what is happening internally and externally for three minutes.

For more practices, or to go deeper, join me for Welcoming the Inner Child: A Day of Art, Play, and Mindfulness. During this day of retreat we will explore, and practice ways of connecting with our inner child wisdom and cultivate beginner’s mind. See details below in featured events section.

Vanessa Mortillo, LPC, is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in play therapy, mindfulness, and expressive arts. She provides a playful space to harness creativity and imagination in the service of growth and healing. Using a strengths-based approach, she builds on what is working well in your life. She has worked with adults and children from a variety of backgrounds in home, school, and outpatient settings and is committed to advancing equity and social justice. She can be reached at 267-507-5793 or vanessamortillolpc@counselingsecure.com.

A Compassionate Check-In

by Allison Beer, LCSW

Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS) provides a way to connect with parts, including our inner critic, so we can understand them better. As we do, greater clarity and confidence are possible. Think of a recent moment when you were hard on yourself—maybe you felt you said the wrong thing, acted awkwardly, or made a mistake. Bring awareness to that inner critical voice and gently explore the following:

• What thoughts are coming up? About yourself? About how others may see you?
  
• What emotions do you notice? Embarrassment, anxiety, frustration?
  
• What sensations are present in your body? Tightness in your stomach? A quickened breath? Or maybe nothing at all?

Now, focus on this critical part of you. Does an image, color, or texture come to mind? If not, that’s okay too—just stay with whatever is present.

How do you feel toward this part? Do you wish it would go away? If frustration or resistance arises, acknowledge those feelings. Let them know they are seen, and if they’re willing, invite them to step back slightly.

If you notice even a small sense of openness or curiosity, extend it toward this part and ask:

• What do you want me to know?
• What are you afraid would happen if you stopped being so hard on me?
• How are you trying to help?

Listen with compassion. When you feel ready, thank this part for sharing with you. Take a few deep breaths to close.

The next time your inner critic speaks up—telling you to do more, be better, or work harder—pause. Check in with yourself and gently revisit this practice. With time, you may find that even your most critical parts are simply trying to protect you in their own way.

Allison (Allie) Beer, MSW, LCSW, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker providing neurodiversity-affirming, trauma-informed therapy for teens and adults. Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, and mindfulness practices, she helps clients navigating anxiety, trauma, ADHD, depression, grief, and low self-esteem find healing and cultivate self-compassion. Connect with her at 215-688-5117 or allison@allisonbeerlcsw.com. Learn more at allisonbeerlcsw.com.

Befriending Our Inner Critics: A Path to Self-Compassion

by Allison Beer, LCSW

As a parent to a toddler, there are countless moments when I catch myself listening to a familiar voice in my head saying things like, "You really messed that up" or "You should have handled that differently" or even "You're not being a good mom." This voice, my inner critic, can be pretty loud, especially when I make mistakes, fall short of my values, or say the wrong thing. It’s a constant reminder of where I feel I’m falling short. 

Instead of pushing this voice away, I’ve decided to lean in, get curious, and learn more about its role in my system.

We all have parts of ourselves that push us—our inner critic, the perfectionist, the overachiever, the planner. These parts often feel like relentless forces, driving us to do more, be better, and avoid failure at all costs. It’s easy to resent them, to wish they would quiet down and let us rest. Or even, sometimes, we may wish they would go away all together. 

But what if, instead of fighting them, we got curious?

These critical parts developed for a reason. Maybe the inner critic learned to keep us safe from judgment or bullying growing up. The perfectionist may have kept us on top of schoolwork, so we would receive praise from caregivers. The planner may have ensured we stay in control, while the overachiever sought approval and worth. These parts are protective in nature, and typically they perform their roles to keep us safe or support us in getting our needs met. When we take the time to understand their roles, we can see that they’re not working against us—they’re working for us, just in ways that may no longer serve us.

By meeting these parts with curiosity rather than frustration, we shift from resistance to compassion. We can acknowledge their efforts, thank them for their work, and gently assure them that we don’t need to operate in survival mode anymore. This creates space for more balance, self-trust, and ease.

Next time you hear that inner critic or feel the pull of perfectionism, pause. Instead of pushing it away, ask: What are you trying to protect me from? You may be surprised at the wisdom it holds—and the relief that comes from listening. 

Allison (Allie) Beer, MSW, LCSW, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker providing neurodiversity-affirming, trauma-informed therapy for teens and adults. Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, and mindfulness practices, she helps clients navigating anxiety, trauma, ADHD, depression, grief, and low self-esteem find healing and cultivate self-compassion. Connect with her at 215-688-5117 or allison@allisonbeerlcsw.com. Learn more at allisonbeerlcsw.com.

Ritual Practices for Meaning, Connection, and Support

by Lindsay Roznowski

“Ritual is able to hold the long discarded shards of our stories and make them whole again. It has the strength and elasticity to contain what we cannot contain on our own, what we cannot face in solitude.” — Frances Weller

• Pour the water from the filtered pitcher into the kettle and heat up the water. 
• While the water is heating, put the filter into the top of the pour-over flask.
• Pour the beans from the glass storage container and grind the beans.
• Pour the ground beans into the filter.
• When the water is fully heated, pour it slowly over the ground beans, stopping when the water gets to the top of the pour-over flask. 
• Wait until coffee drains down to the bottom of the flask and refill the top with water. 
• Continue until all water is used.

I am not a morning person. Since college (over two decades ago!) I have started my day the same way: with coffee. The methodology of my coffee preparation has changed over the years — from picking up a cafeteria brew on my way to class to this morning’s cup of pour-over — but the morning ritual has been consistent for over half of my life. What started as a habit to boost my energy has become a moving meditation to welcome the day. Each morning, you can find me in my kitchen, stepping over the threshold that bridges night and day, performing this personal, intentional, and ceremonial coffee ritual. 

You may not deem your morning coffee or tea preparation as a sacred ritual. Maybe you consider it more of a task, part of an obligatory morning routine. So what is a ritual and how is it different from a routine? Ritualists would say routine has a primary goal of achievement—aligning with the ideals of capitalism or, more generally, a culture of urgency and self-improvement. Routine places more importance on productivity than anything else. In contrast, a ritual  is done “for the purpose of personal gratification or spiritual enrichment”. When you start caring about how you do a routine, it can become transformed into a ritual. 

Rituals can tether you to something greater than yourself, like ancestors, and provide a sense of belonging to the bigger universe. They offer sacred space to honor and contain transitional periods in our lives. As Rebecca Lester wrote: “One of the most important features of rituals is that they do not only mark time; they create time. By defining beginnings and ends to developmental and social phases, rituals structure our social worlds and how we understand time, relationships, and change.”  When you engage in cultural or family rituals to acknowledge an event in the same way previous generations have, you are essentially using ritual as a way to hack into the universal unconscious. 

According to Etymonline.com, ritual’s etymological roots lie in the 1560s, ‘pertaining to or consisting of a rite or rites,’ from French ritual or directly from Latin ritualis" relating to (religious) rites," from ritus ‘religious observance or ceremony, custom, usage.’ Today, ritual can, of course, mean something religious, spiritual, or secular. Merriam Webster defines it as “the established form for a ceremony” or a “ritual observance, a ceremonial act or action, an act or series of acts regularly repeated in a set and precise manner”. In an integrative review of the psychology of ritual, authors define ritual as “predefined sequences characterized by rigidity, formality, and repetition that are embedded in a larger system of symbolism and meaning, but contain elements that lack direct instrumental purpose.” 

Whether religious or secular, ritual practice can animate our lives and lend meaning to people who engage in them. Rituals can include everything from reading last rites to celebrating rites of passage like high school graduation. Rituals take many forms. They may include lighting a candle at an altar or the cultural interaction of bowing or shaking hands when you first meet someone. Rituals can come in the form of prayer, meditation, or journaling. From personal rituals like morning coffee-making to culturally significant rites of passage like baptisms and quinceañeras, ritual practice can evoke positive emotion and have a profound impact. 

One research study from Harvard Business School demonstrated that rituals improved performance, from public speaking to first dates. Researchers concluded that “Simple, novel rituals reduce anxiety lower elevated heart rates, and improve performance—provided they are imbued with symbolic meaning.” In addition, many studies demonstrate that rituals can act like a scaffolding into the unknown, infusing our lives with a sense of peace and control. For example, after the death of a loved one, many mourners see personal or religious end-of-life and funeral rituals as a lighthouse guiding them through their grief.

Joseph Campbell describes ritual as “the enactment of a myth.” He writes, “By participating in the ritual, you are participating in the myth. And since myth is a projection of the depth and wisdom of the psyche, by participating in a ritual, participating in the myth, you are being as it were, but in accord with that wisdom, which is wisdom that is inherent within you anyhow. Your consciousness is being reminded of the wisdom of your own life.” The connectedness ritual provides—whether to ourselves, our family, our community, our spirituality, our culture, or our world—is of incredible value to our mental health and well-being. 

To explore your own ritual practices and their impact, consider the following questions:

• What rituals do you practice daily, weekly, monthly, annually? Which rites of passage come to mind?
• What are the origins of your different rituals? Do they come from your family, religion, values, or somewhere else?
• Which rituals have marked significant times in your life? Which rituals have helped you with endings, beginnings, or new chapters in your life?
• Which feelings do you associate with certain rituals? What kind of positive impact does each ritual have on your life? Have you adopted any rituals because you were seeking a certain positive impact on your life?
• How have rituals imbued your life with meaning? What is the most meaningful ritual you currently practice or have practiced?
• How do rituals support you in times of stress, hardship, grief, or overwhelm?

Lindsay Roznowski is a licensed professional counselor with over 20 years of experience. She is passionate about connecting authentically, collaborating on treatment goals so clients feel empowered, invested, and hopeful. She believes in a holistic, open-minded approach to healing and integrates knowledge of yoga, nature-inspired therapy, trauma-focused treatment, and eco-systemic family therapy. In the near future, she will be integrating EMDR and IFS therapies as well. She works with children ages 8+, tweens, adolescents, and adults. She will be offering nature-inspired workshops for children and adolescents this Spring, so reach out to her to learn more. She is also beginning a blog series soon called "Let's Try It”. In it, she will trying different wellness practices and services (think--acupuncture, cold plunge, meditation) and sharing what she learns. You can reach her at 215-326-9665 and lindsay@bloomwellnesscounseling.com.